Chapter 17: Hammered Home

At the Bahar-Coimbra border along the highway that linked the two provinces, there had been erected a checkpoint from which both sides kept a close eye on each other. There where the preparations for a large fence between the two provinces were being made. Theoretically, both provinces being a part of the Horsheido empire, there was no need for such a thing; however, due to their recent estrangement, both sides felt that it was a necessity. Before the goldmines of Coimbra had dried up, the route had been very popular and relations had been sunny, but as Grohl and Amil had in turn became viceroys, the situation had become increasingly stormy. Crystallizing the divide between the two, Coimbra and Bahar had armed the border and continued their fortification efforts without obstructing each other until recently. They had not officially limited trade, but the border garrisons were incredibly tense. It was easy to understand why rumors that war was in the air had become as prevalent as they had.

Just south of the checkpoint, a Baharan platoon that numbered about 50 was concealed in the vast woodlands by the coast. They had received more reinforcements for their current mission than ever before. Not supplied with Baharan equipment, they did not bear any flags. As to disguise their affiliation with Bahar, they made sure to bear the appearance of, at best, a mercenary band, or at worst, a gang of thieves. The elderly man in command of them, their platoon leader, placed his finger on a map that he had laid out.

“This village is today’s target. Everyone, make sure to confirm the escape routes just in case. If you get lost out there, we won’t go looking for you. So if that happens, use your own head to think of a plan.”

“Of course. We know.”

“We aren’t those Coimbran dunces. We’re the glorious Bararan construction corps.”

“It’s fine if you understand.”

“Just like usual, we’ll head out on foot, and nap on the carriage ride back. No problem.”

One soldier laughed confidently. The construction corps had already succeeded in accomplishing three reconnaissance missions, and two raid missions. They had compiled highly detailed surveys, and so they often bragged about how they knew the land better than the Coimbrans did. The supplies for the Baharan preparations took the form of transport wagons. Their duty was to rob those wagons and return with the goods.

“It looks fairly promising, but don’t let your guard down. Don’t make light of frenzied mobs. That’s a good way to die like a dog at the hands of villagers.”

Reports of the raids had likely reached the capital of Coimbra, though there did not seem to be many troops in their local area as they had not learned the truth behind who was preforming the raids. They may have thought that the raids were a product of remnants of the rebel army, or merely by regular bandits.

“It’s true that the defence has gotten pretty tight, but we’ll attack at night.”

“No soldier would work both night and day shifts for their meagre salary.”

One of the men spouted off frivolously, “What, does that make us model soldiers?”

They did not have the luxury to be so optimistic, though it was true that Baharan standards were higher than the other provinces’.

“We’ve been blessed, you know. First off, we get special pay for this.”

“Your blabber aside, we have our orders. We’ll get even more when Lord Amil becomes emperor.”

“Lord Amil is paying close attention to our work. He will absolutely reward us for our labours. You’re all young, so you should set your sights high and work towards gaining merits.”

If the looting continued near the border region, even a fool would notice something was amiss. There was also no way that disorganised brigands would be able to maintain such consistency. Somebody had to have realised that it was Bahar’s doing. The Coimbran border patrols were increasing. Raiding again, despite all that, could be nothing but a provocation, but Bahar’s supreme commander, Amil, seemed to be aiming for that. The viceroy of Coimbra, Grohl, against all expectations, had not acted yet, though he had a temper like a firecracker. It was unknown whether or not he was carefully laying the groundwork for something, or simply amassing forces. At any rate, it was true that Amil had wanted to raid the enemy, and was likely plotting to crush his opponent on the pretense of exterminating insurgents.

“Even though he’s still young, he’s not going easy at all. No, it might be simply that he’s fit to rule the empire.”

“Did you say something, captain?”

“No, nothing, just that I think that Amil has the disposition of an emperor.”

If it was to become a war between two provinces in the empire of the sun, it would be a civil war, but it was almost as if the reigning emperor Befnam was not interfering at all because was letting things progress as to see which of the two was better suited for the throne. Befnam had defeated his siblings too in his bid for the throne, and there remained a common sentiment that it was necessary to spill some blood when attaining such an honoured position. It was a way of thinking that the platoon commander couldn’t understand, having risen from the plebeian masses himself. At any rate, it was going to become a war. Amil was well prepared, and he was going to make ready for whatever Grohl decided to do in response. He thought it best if he and the soldiers like him simply followed along with the plan. He wanted to be able to retire comfortably if he was able to survive to the end of the great war that was to come.

Slapping his cheeks to clear out the unneeded thoughts, he turned and called to his subordinates, “All right, when it seems about time for the sun to go down, we’ll commence operations. Rest until then. I’m sure you know without my telling you, but…”

“Don’t look suspicious, but stay cautious, right? We know.”

“We wouldn’t want to have anything bad happen if we let our guards down, would we?”

“It’s good that you get it. I’ve said it before, but don’t let your guard down. It’s the most dangerous when you’ve gotten complacent. It is good to learn from your predecessors,” the platoon commander surveyed the faces of his men, changed his tone, and nodded with a serious expression, “That’s why I repeat myself so often.”

His men were more cautious than average, and their morale was high. Unlike the financially floundering Coimbra, Bahar was thriving. The soldiers were well paid, and even if they died in battle, their families were guaranteed to be supported. There was no way that morale wouldn’t be high. There was no doubting that this mission would be successful as always. The platoon commander nodded satisfactorily as he patrolled the grounds. If they built up experience with continued success, his young subordinates could surely aim high. Nearing 50, he could sense his limits, but the young ones were not so burdened. Amil and his right hand man Falid were young leaders, and their rise alone was enough to fill the youth with dreams and ambitions. When the young Amil had been appointed, he thought that unthinkable poverty was likely to follow, but the world was an incomprehensible place. He never would have dreamed that Amil would have been able to raise as much money as he had. If he took the throne, then not only would Bahar would be under Amil’s protection, but in that case, the whole of Horsheido would be behind him, and prosperity would be almost guaranteed. Anyone still alive would surely meet with even greater prosperity. The Coimbrans received the short end of the stick on account of their leader’s opposition of Amil, for the province also had also come to have icy relationships with the provinces of Gemb and Giv from which messengers had recently been repeatedly visiting Bahar in what was likely an attempt to get closer to the next emperor. They had previously associated themselves with Grohl. Rumors were circulating that the Red Circle Army and its rebellion were Amil’s doing, but it had ended fruitlessly. Regardless of the truth behind the rebellion, with the decline of Coimbra’s fortune, all its backers fled as was the usual state of the world.

“This must be that so called fate. Or perhaps the will of the Sun God. The near future is dark; a truly dreadful story, eh?”

“What is, captain?”

“Nothing, I just feel bad for Coimbra. What waits for them is only more hell.”

“Haha, how kind. But how will you rob them if you feel sorry for them?”

“So, are you going to pity them this time?”

The soldiers pounced on his words. Of course he didn’t have those kinds of intentions.

“A job is a job, at the end of the day. Full force must be used. That is how the world works.”

He had kept his voice in check, and he would show them how he smiled while he killed. His mission was so successful he had yet to lose a single man. If he could retire, and see them rise magnificently, it might just have compensated for all the troubles he had lived through. After stroking his unshaven beard, the platoon commander rested against the shrubbery to have a nap. The night bathed them in ample moonlight as though to herald their mission’s success.

The light was fading in the Coimbran border village, and there wasn’t a trace of human life. There was no reason to remember the name of a village that was going to be raided. It was unknown if the village had been raided yet for supplies or not. There was just one thing. The platoon commander summoned his men with a hand signal. There was no reason to slaughter them all, but they would not hesitate to eliminate any resistance. There was no way for the villagers to keep watch at night, so infiltration had easily been accomplished. The rest was to be as planned: light a building on fire to panic the village, tie up all the men in one place, threaten the village head, take the supplies that were there and retreat. Real brigands would probably carry off some of the women too, but there was no need to burden themselves with that. They would only take goods and materials.

“Okay, spread out and light the fire on my mark. We’ll wake up the villagers.”

“Yes sir.”

The platoon commander pointed each man to his position, and the soldiers took out the burning coals they had prepared. Taking a cannister of oil from his belt, one soldier dumped its contents onto the side of a wooden building. The seconds were tense. Gulping nervously, he looked to each of his men. They all nodded, signalling the completion of their preparations. It was time to begin.

“Okay, light the…”

“That’s enough, you arsonists!! Don’t move a muscle!!”

Along with an audacious voice, many people came into view on the roofs of the houses, torches in hand. The entrance to the village, no, the entire surrounding area lit up in the night. Irate, armed men came flooding out from the door to the house they were going to burn down one after the other. An unknown number of them had been hiding in the village.

“Shit!”

Screwing up his face, one of his subordinates loosed the fire, and received an arrow to the forehead. It passed through his skull, and thudded into the house behind him. His mouth flapped open and shut several times before he fell dead, his tongue lolling onto the ground.

“Barbas gave you a warning you know. So moving is bad. You can hear me right?”

What they heard was the voice of a young woman from one of the rooftops. Eyes drawn to the sound, the platoon commander saw an armed woman, already nocking her second arrow, having loosed the previous shot. Her only distinguishable feature in the night was her red hair that reflected an almost bloody reddish brown in the torchlight.

“Captain, ain’t it fine ta kill ‘em? I know what I said, but I don’t see no reason to keep these trashy bastards alive.”

“Well, that’s true, eh? But, they’re finally here, and you’ve said your thing, so it might be a bit late. If you kill them they can’t talk, right?”

“Curious as ever, captain. Well, that’s why I’m still kickin’”

“It’s fun to talk to all sorts of people. See, on a journey to talk with people, doesn’t it feel like your world expands?”

“Never felt it.”

“Really?”

They were conversing as if their victory was certain while the platoon commander observed their appearances. At first he thought they were Coimbran soldiers, but their uniform was different. However one looked, it seemed they were robbers just like the platoon. There was no uniformity to their equipment, and only the woman was clad in Coimbran armour. They could have been vigilantes or mercenaries. Looking around, it seemed that the number of them in the village was around 100, and the ones surrounding it numbered a little over 300. It was not a trap from which they could escape. He wasn’t sure if negotiation was even an option, but the platoon commander decided it was his best chance. He motioned for his men to stay their blades and raised his voice to the woman on the roof.

“Oi, let’s talk first. We’re robbers, and this here’s our turf. Did our targets overlap?”

“We have come to capture the secret villains who have been raiding houses. You are our prey. See, we’re with the Coimbran army. Ah, but Barbas here is my retainer, and these aren’t regulars.”

She twanged her bowstring to menace them, and her expression transformed fiercely, despite how she had been smiling brightly up until that point.

“In that case, would you be willing to overlook us for a cut? This is Coimbra, so I’m sure you don’t get paid well enough, right?”

“I think we’ll be rewarded for catching you guys, though. So we don’t really need it. And it’s not even your money, it’s the villagers’.”

The woman raised her right hand after offering an, “Isn’t that right?”

In that instant, the surrounding soldiers subdued his men and tied them up. He was no exception. It was the worst case scenario, but at least their identity as Baharan soldiers had not yet been revealed. Of course, the way things were going, they were about to be hanged. He looked for an opening, but there was no opportunity for escape.

What should we do? What would be best?

While he was thinking, the woman on the roof jauntily hopped down in front of him.

“I am Commander of One Hundred Noel Bosheit of Coimbra. I will now begin your interrogation. Barbas!”

“Yes, sir. Hey you, bring me those retards!”

“S-shit, outta my way!!”

One of his subordinates tore himself away and began running into the dark. Two more followed in the gap that he created.

“What are you doing, you retards!? Go hurry up and get em!”

“Ahaha, it’s just like a game of tag.”

“Now’s not the time ta be carefree!”

“Yup, it’ll be a problem if they get away like this.”

The woman who had introduced herself as Noel raised her bow, and fluidly loosed an arrow without any signs of impatience or shaking. It penetrated the leading subordinate’s throat. Having been struck, he collapsed to the ground after several steps, and she followed up by killing the two remaining runners without delay.

“Woah. You can use a bow, eh Captain? I really felt yer skill as a bowman.”

“I don’t really like it though. ‘Cause if the string breaks, or you run out of arrows, you can’t fight. Hmmm, yup, spears and warhammers are the way to go. You can keep using them, they’re nice and sturdy, and if you hit the vitals, you get an instant kill.”

Noel took up the warhammer from her belt as she spoke, and she bore a bident across her back. Wondering just who she was, the platoon commander succumbed to his fear. Both before and after killing his men, she had continued to act as if it was nothing major.

“W-what are you?”

“’What’? I said I was Noel, didn’t I? By the way, you guys are Baharan soldiers right? I think I’d like it if you told me where you took all those supplies that you stole.”

“W-what are you talking about? W-we’re just regular…”

“Oh, I’ll punish you each time you lie or keep quiet, okay? Barbas, pass me those nails we got from the villagers. Also, gag this one. We don’t want to bother the villagers in the middle of the night. They need their sleep.”

“You want me ta go all out?”

“You can wait over there. I’ll do this properly.”

“N-no, that ain’t gon’ happen.”

“Okay, then. Make sure to hold him properly.”

Crouching after she spoke, she suddenly drove the long iron nail into the right leg of the subordinate who was sitting next to the platoon commander. Three more were hammered in the same way, and his body writhed as the pain manifested itself on his face. Though he was restrained and gagged, his anguish was palpable.

“H-how could you!”

“We’ll move on when he’s dead. Prepare yourself, okay?”

“Stop this!”

“The left leg’s next. After that are his knees, hands, and arms. Ah, let’s really break in his shoulders while we’re at it. The head’s last, so if you’re going to speak, you’d better do it quickly.”

A rusted nail was driven into his left leg when she finished. The poor man was frantic at that point, but he was restrained well, and couldn’t break free. With bloodshot eyes, and wrenching spasms, his body became drenched in sickly sweat. Only the gag spared them from his anguished screams. It was plain to see that he would die as things progressed.

“Okay, com’ere! You’re next. Prepare yerself like the captain said!”

“P-please don’t!”

The next sacrifice was carried over. Witnessing the brutality that awaited him, the man began to shriek in protest that he didn’t want to die. It was not at all like a death on the battlefield. There was likely no one who could stay calm in the face of the gallows. The platoon commander’s own teeth were already clattering.

“If you want it to stop, all you have to do is hurry up and talk, though. If you tell the truth, I’ll let you all go except for your leader. That’s the deal. So, where did you take what you stole?”

“Nggg… n-no cl…”

Noel made a face when it seemed like he was going to feign innocence, and gleefully rang the nails in her hand. If he said he didn’t know, he’d get another nail. The platoon commander wondered if it was a good time to talk. He couldn’t do anything but tell them the locations of the stockpiles, but that might have been a small price to pay for the lives of his men.

“Captain, she’s really going put those nails through our skulls!”

“I, I get it. I’ll, I’ll talk. I’ll tell you everything I know! There’s a map in my breast pocket. I’ll… show you where the stockpiles are, so, please, just stop!”

“Well now…”

The white haired man named Barbas took the map, and with shaking hands, the platoon commander marked down the locations on it. Of course such an act was unforgivable, but he couldn’t stop himself in the face of any more sacrifices. He would accept full responsibility. Barbas showed Noel the map, who stood with a nod, turned around, and called out to a hooded individual.

“Riglette, I leave the rest to you. I’ll be heading out for a bit.”

“Where will you be going? I doubt you do, but you couldn’t intend to reclaim the stockpiles…”

“Yup, I do. First I’ll scrap these guys’ supplies, then I’ll destroy their outpost. After that I’m going to take all the stuff from their storehouses.”

“W-what kind of lunacy is that!? Is it not outside the bounds of our mission to recover those supplies!?”

“Ahaha, it’s the opportunity, the opportunity,” Noel approached as she spoke, “Hey, don’t you seem to be a flexible one.”

“W-what?”

“You were totally taking it easy back there. We were watching you the who~le time you were in the forest. Didn’t you notice?”

Leaning eye-to-eye with him, Noel cradled her chin in both hands. She bore a gentle smile, but her hands were still stained with blood. As if he had been struck by lightning, his thoughts became muddled.

“T-the whole time?”

“That’s right. We saw you sleeping so peacefully, too. We could have killed you at any point, but figured it’d be best to lead you into a trap. If we made too much of a fuss, you’d have run back to your supplies after all. You always transported what you stole by horse, right? There were fresh cart tracks in the forest. I made sure to properly investigate.”

“T-there’s, just, no way…”

His entire body trembled. The monster before his eyes was peering at him from the dark. A blade pressed against the back of his neck. The platoon commander’s face cramped in dismay as Noel gave out her orders.

“Okay, so let’s take just that commandery guy to the viceroy. It probably isn’t enough proof, though. Take care of him, Riglette.”

“Understood. Bear in mind, however, that I will be reporting everything you do. This is clearly out of line.”

Riglette combined her tut with a salute.

“Captain, we’re ready to go. Oh, and feel free to order that fucking woman’s death at any time. Yer subordinates here would love ta help. It’s in the opportunity, so let’s do her in right now. Just say she’s KIA.”

Barbas saluted Noel as he attested to his hatred of Riglette, who tutted once again and responded in an intentionally restrained manner, “Excuse me, Mr White Haired Vagrant, could you please stop breathing such foul breath? The rotten stench might cause brain damage.”

“I don’t wanna hear that from no suicidal, gloomy bitch. You don’t do anything because you’re weak and stupid. If you died, the fucking taxes would probably lower. I know, you should just hurry up and kill yerself. That way we’d never have to see each other again. Win win.”

“You are a dog marked for your crimes who lost to the captain. At the very least you should watch your back.”

“I’m not fucking senile enough to get stabbed by you, bitch. The captain is 20 000 times better than you.”

“You talk big just like a bandit. Go dig up some worthless rocks in the mountains or something, you barbaric monkey. What bait should I buy?”

“Don’t make fun of our job you vixen! You’ve had a life of luxury because of the gold we dug up!”

“Ha, what kind of idiot only knows how to dig? It’s in your best interest to listen obediently to what we nobles tell you to do you savage monkey.”

“You motherfucker, I’ll fucking end you!”

Barbas and Riglette were eternally at each other’s throats.

After amusing herself with the spectacle for a while, Noel finally broke it up with an, “Okay, okay, that’s enough, that’s enough.”

“Hey, it’s nice that you get along, but we’re really busy right now. We need to get this done by morning.”

“W-we get along? Captain, are your eyes rotting out? In the first place, taking these thugs as underlings is certainly rotten. I think you should clean those filthy glasses of yours much better, but it is clearly already too late.”

Riglette rattled off her abuses in rapid succession. Barbas shoved her out of the way.

“Hey Captain, we should hurry up and dismiss this piece of shit. Then we’ll teach her a lesson. Even though she can’t do nothing on her own, she still fucking belittles us! I can’t stand it.”

“I said we don’t have time, you know. Could it be that you didn’t hear me? In that case, should I say it again so that you can?”

Noel’s smile vanished into a serious expression, and both Barbas and Riglette straightened up immediately, faces stiff for in Noel’s hands were her warhammer, and the iron nails.

“Barbas, take 100 men to go ahead and take out their supplies. I’ll get the remainder, and destroy their headquarters. We’ll meet up at the storehouse.”

“Isn’t that a l-little bit rough of a plan? Is it bold, or…”

“It’s cause the enemy’s totally unprepared right now. If we’re quick, I’m sure it’ll go well. Actually, now is the only time we really can.”

“If the captain orders it, ‘s no helpin’ it, eh? What if there ain’t nothin’ there? Like if they lied for fear o’ death?”

“If there’s nothing there, give them something harsh to thank them. So, well, either way it’ll be fine. If it’s no good, at least we had a walk.”

Noel was laughing. What kind of eyes would they see if they had lied to her, they didn’t know. Their minds produced horrific premonitions.

“Also, the deal aside, is it not bad if any of them escape? If we release them, they’ll immediately tell their colleagues.”

Barbas roughly kicked some of the subordinates around.

“The deal’s the deal, so we have to let them go. Well, what happens after that is another story, though.”

The platoon commander found himself surprisingly angry at the implications behind Noel’s words. He was only cooperating for their safety after all. If that wasn’t going to happen, there was no way he’d leak anything.

“Oi, what do you mean ‘another story!?’ Wasn’t the deal to let them go!?!?”

“Yup, as per the deal, we’ll overlook you. I’ve forgiven you, but what about the villagers that are likely to be attacked? There are rumors that you’ve come here, you know. There may be some who still hold a grudge.”

“Don’t fuck with me! The deal protects my men!”

“Ahaha, we won’t actively protect you, you know. With that out of the way, I’m fairly busy…”

Noel advised them to do their best as she began to walk away as though she had lost all interest in them. In her place appeared a mob of irate villagers bearing hoes, sickles, hatchets, and other farming implements. They had no mercy left for those who had burned their food and stolen their supplies. Riglette came forward, and muttered in a chilling tone that she had come for the platoon commander as she took him away, leaving the villagers to hunt down his still bound subordinates.

“You bastards, do you think you’ll get away with this!? If you’re soldiers too, you must have some sympathy! I’m begging you, please just save my men!”

“As promised, I’m not killing them. I don’t see any problems with that. Also…” Noel turned, smiling broadly in a pleasant manner, “the world is filled with unreasonable things, isn’t it? So, it really can’t be helped. If you don’t think so, at least a little, you can’t live on.”

Having finished reporting to her father after returning to the capital, Riglette opened up a notebook after a short rest in her room. Wilm had looked almost as if he didn’t believe what he was hearing, and it felt ridiculous to Riglette too as she presented it. Noel had led the White Ant Bloc in a raid of the storehouse on the Coimbran-Baharan border. Once they had retaken the supplies, they set up an attack on the outpost from which the border guards patrolled, routing them. They had gone as far as to raid the Baharan stores, and had displayed demonic prowess when they had successfully struck, and retaken the supplies. Riglette had naturally doubted the story the first time she heard it, but there was no room for doubt when she was shown the newly filled storehouses. There was easily enough to share with the villages who had previously been raided.

“How truly monstrous. She’s practically a demon from the old tales.”

Grohl had been in such a good mood that he had openly praised her, and awarded her the Coimbra Cross. The end result was that Noel would be promoted to becoming a senior commander of one hundred if she succeeded at her next mission. It was like she was reveling in her rampage of continuously ruining everything since the rebellion. The White Ant Bloc had, more than simply performing well during the judgement period, had become accepted by the Coimbran army for their success. However, there was Noel’s retainer Barbas’ corps to consider. Around 500 former miners had accepted positions in the Coimbran military. It was fairly obvious that a commander of one hundred’s salary was insufficient in its ability to support them, but they had naturally joined Noel’s unit.

“With the military prowess, calm judgement, and leadership skills she showed when subduing the White Ant Bloc, that country girl seems have the makings of a legend.”

She did have flaws, but Riglette didn’t think she had a hope of imitating her. She wondered if Wilm’s blood, and the pedigree it brought, was the only thing she had over Noel. The rest of her skills fell short. Riglette was unable to deny it. There was no mistaking that Noel would continue to distinguish herself in the Coimbran military now that she had gained the viceroy’s trust. As her aide, Riglette would have to clearly witness it all because of her father’s orders. That aside, Noel would probably only be a hero for a short while. Wilm had forsaken Grohl. Proof of that was in how he was drawing closer to Amil of Bahar. At some point he was probably going to use his position as a major general in the Coimbran army to do something. That would spell the end of Grohl, and become the final curtain of Noel’s heroic drama. Riglette bore no love of Wilm, but there was no doubting his skill with schemes. She had no intentions of revealing him to Grohl. She had no interest in who was on top. Already, she was apathetic of any outcome.

“Foolish, absolutely foolish.”

Riglette took up her dagger and placed the blade to her neck. She had thoughts of death many times before; however, she had never before truly felt the reality of how small she was, and her total lack of ability. There was nothing good that would come from her continuing on, not even if Wilm took the reigns of Coimbra. Her father and brother would still mock her, and everyone would still see her as his useless daughter. She had thought that she would establish herself one day, but that was just a dream. A fool would always be a fool. That barbaric Barbas was correct, so she thought it would be best if she just died.

“Nobody would be upset if I died, though. Ah, so foolish.”

This time was different, she had the will to follow through. The fatigue was stronger than her fear. She sarcastically thanked Noel in her mind. Wilm and Leue would be relieved without a doubt. They hated her even though she was related. With one last magnificent tut, Riglette prepared to swing her blade one final time.

“Oh, it’s the Coimbran standard suicide. Seems like there’ll be lots of blood. Cleanup is going to be a pain for sure.”

“Pfft! C-captain Noel, why are you here!?”

“You didn’t respond to a knock, and the door was unlocked, so I kind of barged in. Sorry?”

Noel sped through the gap between them, pinning the hand that gripped her dagger.

“What they taught me was to insert the blade in the centre. That’ll definitely kill you. Only, that seems like it’d hurt.”

Noel closed one eye and rubbed her throat. Though Riglette was briefly taken aback, her anger burst forth.

“Just why have you, the new hero of Coimbra, come here? Did you come to laugh at the foolish woman whose sole value is her blood?”

“Um, well, Cynthia said that you weren’t acting normally, so I should take care. And, well, I thought I’d drop by while I was at it.”

“Then could you please leave now. It doesn’t matter if I live or die, does it? It doesn’t affect you at all. To be honest, you’re completely a pain in the ass.”

Riglette clicked her tongue as she tried to chase Noel away. Their rank was technically identical, but it was no attitude to bear towards a superior officer. She risked being struck by the warhammer at Noel’s belt, and completely okay with that outcome, Riglette made sure to be rude on purpose.

“Well, it’s like that. See, it’d be a waste to die on a clear day like today, though eh?”

Saying so, Noel opened the curtains, filling the room with light from the window. It was certainly an irritatingly clear sky.

“What does the weather have to do with death!? That’s stupid!”

“They’re super related. I don’t want to die on sunny days. I’ll be too busy absorbing the sunlight. Dying on a sunny day would be the wo~rst,” Noel gave a carefree laugh.

With such a stupid face, the military exploits of that country girl became somehow unacceptable. There were already two cases in which she had captured the head of a rebel group. She was unbefitting of the term hero.

“Then die in the rain.”

“That’s not going to happen either. Dying on a shitty day in the rain would be absolutely awful. Even if you die, it sucks to be killed in the rain. I also wouldn’t want to die on a cloudy day, it’d be too half hearted.”

“Clear is no good, rain is no good, clouds are no good? Aren’t you just not going to die at that point?”

Riglette looked disgusted, and Noel nodded deeply.

“That’s right. I won’t die until I find happiness. I need to protect my promise to everyone.”

“Happiness, is it? Pfft, you say you want to become happy, but you don’t know how to. Are you retarded?”

“Yup, that’s why I’m searching for it.”

“If you don’t know what happiness is, searching for it is absurd. Are you actually retarded?”

Riglette continued to heckle her, but Noel only smiled weakly after a slight nod.

“Ahaha, that might be true.”

“It isn’t ‘might be,’ it’s absolutely true. You are retarded.”

“Well if that’s what you say, it can’t be helped. There are all kinds of absurd things in this world after all.”

After muttering happily to herself, Noel started scrunching up Riglette’s hair with both hands.

“W-what are you doing!?”

“You insult people, and you tut at them, and when that happens, your eyes shine super darkly. That’s what you got from your scheming family. Just like your dad.”

“Is that a backhanded compliment?”

“Nope, I’m praising you, you know.”

Muttering an, “Is that so?” to herself, Riglette stood up to leave with her knife, but she sat down because she needed to rethink.

“Oh, have you decided not to die?”

“I have exhausted my willpower with your stupid conversation. I will postpone death for the moment.”

“I see. So then, would you like to search for how to become happy with me? Cynthia’s helping search too, so if we could be three, I bet we’d quickly…”

“I’ll have to decline,” Riglette continued her words in irritation after twisting her black hair round a finger, “Well, even if you were to share some happiness with me, I might help you the tiniest fraction of your way there.”

With a clap, she stopped her mouth which had been running out of control, but it was too late: Noel’s countenance lit up in a grin.

“Yup, I promise! So, we’re searching for happiness together, then eh?”

Feeling like some arrogant suitor was attempting to woo her, Riglette put her head to the table.

Why did this happen, it’s like she can’t understand. If I want to die, I can’t let myself get caught up in her stupid pace. I don’t get her.

Glancing furtively, she spied Noel stretching broadly as she bathed in sunlight. Her originally red hair began to shimmer as it was illuminated. Her pale skin was tinged with pink, and Riglette was enchanted by the seemingly luminescent glow surrounding Noel. For a moment, Riglette wondered if she was actually an evil spirit which had taken the shape of a flower.

“Aaah, today seems like it’ll be a good day too. Ah, I might have felt some happiness just now.”

“It’s already been the worst day for me. I’d finally made my peace, too. This is all some idiots fault.”

“That’s too bad. In that case, I’ll give you something that’ll make you happy.”

After her happy words, Noel tossed Riglette the trumpet that was at her waist. It was a bugle for conveying orders.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“It is a precious treasure of mine, but I’ll give it to you. You’re my precious aide, after all.”

“It is a bit late, but I don’t need it so I’ll give it back.”

She held it out, but Noel shook her head and wouldn’t accept it.

“I won’t take what I’ve already given. That’s how it works.”

“I don’t get it at all. Your actions are too unreasonable.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

Sighing in resignation, Riglette fastened the trumpet to her belt. If she bothered about any more foolishness, it would affect her ability to function in the army. She had decided that it would be best to end things quickly by playing along. By disgust and anger towards Noel, and then by the sheer foolishness that she had bombarded her with, Riglette’s will to die had been overwritten.

Author’s Note:

Happy New Year.

I once had a (physics) dream in which nails were hammered in.

It was scary.