Life

So I lied. But it's a good lie. If those exist. With the help of my wonderful sister and aunt, I was able to get this out. Enjoy!

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Maria sat in the car looking at the house she once called home.

"Are you ready?"

"That's a loaded question."

"I'll be here the whole time."

"Thank you."

Nicole got out of the car, going to open Maria's door. They held hands as the made their way to the door. Maria stood, not knowing if she should knock or walk right in.

Nicole noticed her hesitancy. Lifting her hand, she placed three firm knocks on the oak door. Both of their hearts raced. Both were for different reasons. Nicole, felt the air being ripped from her lungs, she knew what was going to happen. Maria said not a word as the door opened, almost in slow motion.

"Maria. I'm glad you came."

"Nicole is here too papa." Maria felt her anger rising.

"Yes. Of course. Welcome. Maria your mother is waiting in the garden."

Nicole followed Maria as she made her way through the house that held so many memories. Not all good. None really ever good. Flashes of high school and college coming to her mind. This house was like her personal hell on earth. She lived it.

They came to a fork in the garden. Following the shorter path they came to a dead end. Sitting at a table was Maria's own personal demon. Memories dating back to when she was 5. This woman, if you could even call her that, made her sick.

Her emotions were conflicting with each other. But, one came to over power them all. Hate. She hated her mother more than anything or anyone. "Hello Mamá."

"Maria, my baby. You don't look so well."

Nicole stood behind Maria. She couldn't wrap her head around this woman. 'She doesn't look well. Have you looked in the mirror lady.' Nicole bit her tongue.

"I'm fine mamá. This is my fiancé Nicole. Nicole this is my mother."

Nicole sat her hand out, willing to shake that other the older woman's.

"Oh," her mother said with a slight disgust. "Hi."

Ignoring the woman's rudeness Nicole excused herself.

"Nic, don't leave me here."

"Maria you will be fine. You have things you need to get out. I'll be right on the patio."

Letting go of Nicole's hand for the first time since they arrived. She watched the blonde retreat, her figure becoming a blur as tears clouded her eyes.

"Maria have a seat." Her mother said. She knew than that the gates of hell had opened.

She sat across from her. Their eyes never meeting. "Papa told me you're sick."

"I am. But, that's not why I asked you here."

"Then why?" Maria asked, her voice feeling small.

"I want to talk about some of the choices you are making."

"My choices." She said. Bearly above a whisper.

"Speak up sweetie. Young ladies do not mumble."

"I said, my choices."

"Sí. Your choices. Why Maria?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this to me? Can't you see I'm dying."

Maria's face began to warm as her anger slowly cut through the small respect she did have for her mother. "Doing what you to?" She said through gritted teeth.

"Living this...this unholy life."

"Unholy. Life. Doing this. To you." Maria's mind raced. Thoughts and feelings she has held in, rushing to her mouth. The words spilling over.

" What the fuck is wrong with you? You are dying and yet here you are still trying to run my life. I am so sick of you! I hate you with every breath in my body! How can you even sit there and say this! You have some much never to sit here and judge me!"

"Now Maria calm down."

"No! I'm not some little girl any more! I'm the little girl you beat to hide your affairs from papa! I am not the same kid from high school that you beat when I said no! I'm not afraid of you. I'm not going to let you run my life. I was you biggest mistake and I know it. You are such a fucking hypocrite! I remember every fucking thing you've done. I hate you! And I hate my self for hating you! I hate that no matter what I stood by you! I hate that my heart want to love you but my mind is give me so many logical reasons not to love you! I'm so half you're dying brcause then I may be able to finally love myself and thank Nicole for loving me!"

Her mother was speechless as Maria went though the years of self hate and neglect.

"I'm not even my father's daughter! I look at you and I'm happy to see you suffer. I feel so sick for saying that but I can't help but feel a hate so strong it burns. It burns and damn it feels so good. I hate you! I hate your face, I hate the way to just look. I hate you and it makes me mad because I'm suppose to love you. I don't even trust you. You're an evil manipulative woman. And I'm happy to sit and watch you suffer."

Maria felt the stinging of tears and the burn in her throat. She poured every ounce of energy into finally standing up for herself. No longer would she feel less of who she was because of her mother.

Tears cascaded down her face. Her throat burn from the intensity. Her mind felt sluggish. Her body felt weak. Yet, she stood tall. She defended herself. Made a big move. She was not that little girl anymore and she never would be.

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Nicole stood at the patio. She could hear the faint sounds of Maria yelling. Her heart ached hearing about the treatment Maria received. The benign neglect from her father. The hate her mother felt toward her. Yet, Maria was an angel.

She was a gift that Nicole was so happy she received. Her thoughts roamed and she didn't hear Maria's father come in.

"I never ment to hurt her."

"Oh! Sir. I'm sorry."

"I haven't seen her so happy. You did that. You made her so happy and strong."

"Sir, I did nothing. She was like that since the first time I met her. She's a unique woman with so much love to give."

"I want to thank you. For making my little girl happy. I don't say it often enough. I love her."

In all her years of service and growing up, she has never seen a man break down. Not the way Maria's father just did. Her heart ached watching as he fell, losing his composure.

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So some of this as I said are actual words from my mouth. I wish I could say it got better. However, my mother is not dead nor is she dying. I'm not really sure how long this is but I knew when I started this that I wanted this out there. I do not want this to bring pity to myself. I want this to be an eye opener for people.

The next chapter will be on a much lighter and funnier note. The picture is for you to have a laugh. The song is Lykke Li Time flies. I listened to it to get through this.

Thank you all for reading.

Much love

-M