10. Butterflies

It was actually still morning when I woke up from my uneasy sleep. My mother and her lover for the night spent the entire time banging or yelling.. or both. So it took me a while to finally fall asleep. Now it is approximately three hours later and I'm woken up by the sunlight pouring in from my window. Why didn't I close the curtains?!

I roll out of bed and grab my phone. Class starts soon. Since I'm awake I might as well go.

I get up, take a quick shower and put on a black sweater, distressed denim, white sneakers and of course I'm still wearing the chain necklace and rings I never take off.

When I enter the kitchen, to my surprise my mom is awake.. and making breakfast.

"Hey, sweetie." She smiles.

"Hi." I say, a little uncomfortable. I sit down at the table.

"I'm sorry about last night. We couldn't find a motel and we were already nearby, so.."

"So why not bang him with your son in the other room?" I say sarcastically.

"Now, now.. don't whine. I'm making you breakfast, see?" She sounds guilty.

I sigh and get up. It will probably taste bland compared to Aron's food.

Why does my every thought suddenly revolve around that guy?

"Sit down, it's almost done." My mother says.

"I gotta get to school. I'm not that hungry anyway." I walk over to the door.

"Hold on, baby." My mother wraps her soft arms around me and plants a few wet kisses to my cheek.

"Ma!" I yell, completely annoyed.

"Have a nice day, honey." She smiles.

I roll my eyes. She always has to give that smile that makes anyone go weak.

That's why she's so good at her 'job'.  I don't know if you should call stripping a real job but, whatever.

I get out of her grip and open the door.

"Hey, who was that guy that came over yesterday? I've never seen him before. He was kind of cute." She smiles like we're best friends sharing secrets.

Damn. I wish she hadn't seen him. It seemed like she hadn't.

"He's.. just some guy from my class." I say quickly before rushing out the door.

***

I make my way into the classroom. Late, as always.

"Mr. Sky—"

"Yes, I know, I'm late. At least I'm here!" I say annoyed.

"Yes, you are here.. too late. Go to the principals office. And while you're going there anyway, tell him I sent you out of class because of your attitude."

"Oooh.." A few people in class chime in.

"Whatever," I sigh and leave the room.

I put my hands in my pocket and walk, slowly, to the principle's office. As I walk through the quiet, nearly empty hallway, I notice a sound. It sounds like someone is crying.. it sounds familiar. I follow the sound to a quiet space in the cafeteria. There's no one around here. I walk to the hidden little table next to a window and as I thought, the one crying is Chase. He's sat on the floor in front of a little bench, his head in his hands.

"Chase?"

He looks up surprised. When he sees my face he immediately turns away.

"Oh God!' He mutters to himself.

I sit down on the bench.

"Chase, why are you crying?" I ask.

He tries to control himself but the tears keep streaming.

"Come on, stop crying for a second. Tell me what's going on."

"Why would you care?" He sniffles.

He's got a point there. I did say that I hate his guts. But I was just in a bad mood.. I think.

"I- I do care." I struggle to get the words out without vomiting.

Chase turns to me and looks me in the face. His eyes are all watery. It's pretty cute.

"Then why did you say you h-hate me?" He stutters.

"Because.. I get like that sometimes. Doesn't mean I mean it."

Chase nods.

"So, tell me. What's going on?"

"The.. the guys in my class.. they're.." He swallows.

"They're bullying me. Saying I'm a pussy and throwing things at me.."

For some reason hearing this makes me angry as hell. Why would anyone do that to him? He's like one of the kindest people I know.

But.. maybe that's the problem. It's always the kind people that get fucked by the world. Because the world isn't such a kind place. The only way to survive is to be a dick. I would know.

"Yesterday.. one of them.." Chase sniffs and clears his throat. "He punched me and told me that if I told anyone he'd beat me up." A new wave of tears streams down his face.

I ball my hands into fists.

"Who told you that?" I say through clenched teeth.

"Lucas.." He sniffles.

"Last name?"

"Donovan."

Great. I know who to kill now. I don't know why I'm so protective of this kid. Maybe it's guilt for how I treated him.

"Don't worry about him anymore, okay? I'll make him stop."

Chase looks at me with big eyes. "Really?"

"Sure." I say awkwardly. For some reason him looking up at me like that makes me really uncomfortable. Like his entire life depends on me.

"And if he ever bothers you again, just text me."

"I don't have your number.."

I reach out my hand so he can give me his phone.

"Oh," He says after a while of staring. He grabs his phone from his pocket and gives it to me.

I add my number to his contacts.

"There you go." I give him his phone back and get up.

"Now don't cry anymore, okay? You have nothing to worry about."

Chase rises to his feet.

Suddenly he wraps his arms around me and holds me in a tight hug.

"Thank you..!" He breathes.

I hold my hands in the air awkwardly while he squeezes me to death. When did he get so strong?

I reluctantly pat his back.

"Yeah.. no worries." I say uncomfortably.

After a while longer he finally lets go of me.

I really wanna get away now. This is too much affection for me to handle. I look around. Thank fuck nobody was around to see that.

"So.. if you don't hate me.. does that mean you like me?" He asks, insecurity clear in his voice.

I feel guilty again.

"Sure." I say quickly.

He smiles bright.

"Okay, I should go." I finally say.

"Wait," Chase grabs my hands.

I resist the urge to pull away.

"What?" I say, more annoyed than I intended.

Before I know it, Chase's lips crash onto mine and we're in a (on his side) heated kiss.

I'm so confused and caught off guard, I don't even move.

THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT.

It is only when his tongue enters my mouth that I really want to push him off of me. But then I think about how this is all my fault. If I hadn't taken his virginity when I didn't give a fuck about him, none of this would have happened. Plus, who cares. It's just a stupid kiss. It doesn't mean anything.

After a while, he pulls away looking more than satisfied. Let's hope that's the end of this.

"See ya." I say, awkwardly before walking away.

***

It is lunchtime and I'm lying outside in the sun. Soaking up the warmth.

"Hey man," Shawn greets me as he sits down next to me on the bench.

"Hey." I say sleepily.

"How are you doing?" He asks, sounding concerned.

I swear I just felt my vein pop.

I knew this was coming.

"I'm fine, okay? Don't worry about me. I already talked to someone about the panic attack.. it was just stupid school stress." I lie. I'm a pretty good liar at this point.

"Oh.. good." I can hear Shawn's relief in his voice.

"Where are the others?" I ask. Where is Aron, is what I mean. Not that I'll ever admit to it. I haven't seen him all day.

"They went to get some food. Oh, did you want anything? I'm sure I can text them—"

"Nah, I'm good." I answer, keeping my eyes closed.

I think I still have some food in my locker.. Ugh, I don't wanna get up.. I'll get it later..

"Yo, Aron!" Shawn calls.

"Hey man." Aron's beautiful voice comes closer to us.

I also hear the other guys come our way.

Then I feel a warm hand squeeze my shoulder.

The other guys are already deep in conversation.

I feel someone's warm breath on my skin.

"Hey, Princess." Aron whispers in my ear.

My heart pounds fast and I feel something fluttering in my stomach. How annoying.

I shrug his hand off.

"I'm trying to enjoy my break here."

"Oh, am I disturbing you?"

"Pretty much, yeah." I open my eyes.

And once again he looks fucking breath taking. His golden brown eyes drenched in amusement as they look in mine. My heart beats even faster than before.

"You have plans today?" Arons asks.

"If you're asking me out, I'll make some." I say, faking indifference.

"Alright, let me rephrase. Do you want free food?"

My mind goes right back to the deliciousness of yesterday.

I can't stop myself from nodding.

"I'll cook for you.. If you come to my place."

"That's blackmail."

"It's a good deal." He presses.

I sigh.

"Fine."