21. Hot

We lie on the hood of Aron's car in the blistering heat. The sun is pouring down on us as we look up at the sky from a beautiful mountain. It's a hot day today. I'm wearing Aron's plain white T-shirt, jean shorts and red All Stars to match his flashy car. Aron's wearing a white tee, black track pants and some white sneakers. How he does it in this heat is beyond me. He tells me he doesn't get hot because he 'is the sun', whatever the hell that may mean.

It's completely quiet around us except for the howling of the wind and the chirping of the birds and crickets around us.

And our soft breathing in unison.

Aron is turned towards me and tracing my arm with the lightest touch. He goes from my elbow to my forearm and finally the palm of my hand.

I rub my legs together.

"Don't do that." I mumble.

"Why not?" His husky voice cracks as he speaks softly into my ear.

Blood rushes to various places in my body.

"You're making me horny." I answer truthfully.

He chuckles.

"What a crime." He speaks quietly. I feel the tingles all over again. Meanwhile he continues to tease my body.

I try to keep my breath even. I try to control myself. I basically have to go against every part of who I am to not jump him right now. Why? Why is it only with him that I get so panicky when we try to do anything sexual?

His light touch moves from my arm to my stomach. He traces circles around my belly-button under my shirt.

"Jesus." I sigh in frustration.

He chuckles again.

"Don't laugh. This is torture!"

"Actually I think this is pretty satisfying.. To see you get so worked up from one little touch. To get you moaning of pleasure without me doing anything, really." He whispers in my ear.

I begin to breathe faster despite not wanting to.

"I'm not moaning." I try to defend my last bit of pride.

"Oh no?"

His hand goes lower and lower, but always remaining on my upper body. It is the ultimate tease.

His warm breath comes closer to my face and he begins to kiss my temple. So softly and gently.

"Hey, no fair.." I breathe.

It's irresistible. At this point I'm holding my breath to stop myself from making any sounds.

He kisses my nose as his hand goes up to my chest. "Do you like that?" He sighs in my ear.

I can't hold my breath anymore. And exhale loudly.

"Mm?" He smirks against my cheek.

"That was not a moan." I protest.

He stops moving.

I open my eyes and look into his defying ones.

Okay.. maybe it was.

"I hate you." I say softly as I pull him close and kiss him hard.

His tongue explores my mouth with passion and sheer lust. My hands go under his shirt and I moan as I feel his toned stomach. I rip off his shirt and take a moment to admire the glory before me.

I. want. to. fuck. him! Jesus Christ! I haven't had sex in months! I deserve this!

He rips off my shirt too.

I stop trying to control things and my hands go to his pants, his zipper, his button.

"Olive.."

"Shh.. I can do this."

"That's what you said last time." He tries to argue but there isn't much vigor in his statements. He wants this as much as I do.

Plus, we've come a long way. When I had that panic attack we were just making out. Now we've gone much further without me losing it. This has to be possible.

I pull his pants down and realize this is the first time that I see.. down there.

And it's a lot to take in.

"Scared?" He smirks.

So hot! SO. FUCKING. HOT. That irresistible smirk of his!

"O-of course not." I say, much less confident than I intended to.

He chuckles.

He takes my pants off too. And he begins to blush.

Now he's a mix of hot and cute. He stole the entire world's supply of attractiveness. Just like that.

My lips crash onto his again and I'm so ready to do this.

And I don't know why but up until now I had completely forgotten that we are in a public place.

I hear some kind of sound from the bushes and I shoot up.

"What was that?" I say, scared to death.

"It's probably just a crow.." Aron tries to pull me back to him but I'm completely out of it.

"Oliver.." He sighs.

I get off of him and put on my clothes.

"Seriously?" He says.

I have to get out of here. I'm completely put off. Did someone see us? Any disgusting pervert could've been watching us just now. The idea distresses me more than it normally would.

"Aren't you at least gonna help me out?" Aron jokes.

For some reason his stupid joke triggers me more than usual.

"Why don't you help yourself out!" I scream as I walk away.

"What? Olive!" I hear behind me.

I walk faster. What a fucking jerk. How is that funny?

I grab a stick from the ground and throw it off the mountain.

I hear footsteps behind me.

"Sky,"

"Fuck off, Aron." I walk faster.

"What's wrong?"

"What do you think?!" I snap.

"Oliver.." He grabs my shoulder and stands in front of me.

I avoid eye contact.

"Why are you so angry?" He asks calmly.

"I don't know." I say quickly.

He stares at me for a moment and then wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him.

At first I'm angry and want to push him off.

But then the sadness takes over and I bury my head in his chest as the tears stream down my face. Why do I cry so much lately? I feel so weak. Breakable.

He holds me tightly.

"Shh.." He comforts me.

Maybe it's because he's different from anyone I've ever been with. I care about him. I love him. Maybe because our relationship is emotional and not just sexual. It's different. Cause when emotions are involved it hits the deep spots. The depths of my soul that are normally under lock and key. Maybe that's what Aron does to me.

I remember the guy.. Steven, from the carwash and what he said. 'Only by confronting the past can we better our future'.

I think he might have been right.

"I want to find him." I mumble.

"Hm?" Aron pulls away ever so slightly.

I sniff and look up at him.

"Neil. You know, the guy who.."

Aron's eyes go wide. "Why?"

"Because I want to confront him. I want to confront him with how he fucked me up! And then I can finally move on!"

"Confront him? How?"

"I want to tell him how his actions affected me. I want to make him understand!"

Aron starts caressing my back.

"I'm not trying to shoot you down but... Do you think he cares?"

"It isn't for him. It's for me. It's so that I can get closure and things will finally be normal again. Please, you have to come with me. I can't do this alone—"

"You're never alone. You hear me? Of course I'm coming with you. I would never let you go on your own."

Of course he wouldn't. Why did I even ask?

I smile.

He brushes the hair out of my eyes.

"So... when are we leaving?"