37. Ice

School is over and I'm walking out of the building and right next to my car is Chase, biting his nails.

I walk up to him.

"Bad habit?"

Chase jumps a little in surprise.

"Oh, I didn't see you."

I open the car doors and take a seat behind the wheel. Chase sits next to me.

I start the car.

"Aren't you gonna put on your seat belt?" He asks.

I frown and give him a look.

"It's for safety, you know? I could do it if—"

"Jesus." I put on my seat belt and drive off.

Aron has detention since apparently he acted out in some of his other classes today. Well, works for me.

"How was school?"

I sound like a fucking dad.

"Um, good."

"They being nice to you?" I check.

"Sure." Chase answers.

"Though some kids were making fun of me for not having my learner's permit yet."

"Aren't you fourteen?"

"Well, actually today's my birthday. I'm fifteen now." Chase smiles.

I look at him. "Really?"

He nods.

"Happy birthday, Chase." I smile at him.

"Thanks!" He beams.

"Did you get any good presents?"

I pull into the driveway of some weird hipster coffee place. 'Long-Cupz' it says on the sign.

"Well, my dad got me a car." He says kind of embarrassed.

"Cool!"

I'm sure it's a new car.

My mom actually got me this car too. Although that wasn't for my birthday. This was because she'd had sex with some guy in my bed the night before. But whatever. A gift's a gift.

We get out of the car and walk into the coffee place.

It's bright white in here, it looks very fresh. It's pretty busy, there are a bunch of people sitting at the tables.

The line's not super long.

I look up at the menu.

"Which one do you want? I'll buy it for you since it's your birthday."

"Really?" Chase looks ecstatic

I nod.

Why is he acting like his dad didn't just buy him an expensive ass car? Compared to that, this is nothing.

"Um.. I'd like the strawberry ice coffee."

"Okay. Why don't you go get a seat? I'll find you later."

"Okay!" Chase runs off into the crowd.

A while later I'm at the front of the line and the guy behind the counter is none other than.. Harold.

"Fuck." I say annoyed.

"Back at ya." He winks.

"What can I get you today?" He asks, plastering on a fake smile.

"Out of here." I say under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," I order my drinks.

"Would you like some sugar with those? It might cancel out the bitter." He eyes me intently.

"I think you'll need it more after I talk to your boss." I threaten.

He gasps. "You wouldn't."

"I will if you keep pissing me off."

"Fine. Was that all, sir?" He says, his voice all strained with anger.

I love this.

"No, actually.."

***

I spot Chase sitting outside on the second floor. He waves at me through the window.

He's doing way too much. I chuckle a little as I make my way outside.

I put the tray on the table.

"What's this?" Chase smiles as he looks at the five different cupcakes on the tray. Each with a lit candle in the middle.

"I didn't know which one you liked so I got them all." I admit.

"That's really sweet." He looks completely happy. Like a melted puppy or something.

He's wayyy too happy. They're just cupcakes.

"I would sing for you if I didn't have any self respect left."

Chase chuckles at that.

"This is more than enough. Thank you, Sky."

I don't like the way he says my name. I don't like the way he's looking at me either.

Maybe Aron was right..

"So, tell me." Chase says, taking a sip from his drink.

"Tell you what?"

"Why I wouldn't want to be you."

Of course he remembered.

"Are you sure you wanna hear something this depressing on your birthday?"

He nods eagerly.

I sigh.

I tell him about my mom and my dad.. I tell him about everything but Neil and.. the suicide thing. I can't tell him that.

"Jesus."

"Yeah.."

"Well, that explains a lot."

I've heard that before.

"Like what?"

"Like.. stuff." He blushes.

I frown.

Whatever.

***

The rest of the 'date' was actually a lot of fun.

I got to know Chase a lot better too. I had no idea he was into rock and punk music, that really surprised me.. Nothing happened, by the way. He didn't try anything. Just as I thought. We even hugged at the end. In a friendly way. Still I can't shake the guilt I feel when he glances at me a little too long.

I walk into my apartment and Aron's already there.

He's sitting on the couch staring ahead of him, tapping his foot anxiously.

He rises when he sees me.

"It went fine." I assure him.

He nods.

Neither of us says a word. We just stare at each other in silence.

Then he makes his way to me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close.

I wrap mine around him too.

"I missed you." He says.

His warm voice comforts me.

"I missed you too." I murmur.

He caresses the back of my head with his thumb and I sigh, feeling relieved we're good again.

We've been fighting so much lately, I'm always happy when we make up. I'm gonna try not to fight with him anymore. It hurts too much.

***

We're on the couch watching some random movies on TV.

I'm leaning on Aron's chest and listening to his heartbeat. It's calming.

Then there's a break and as the ads flash by I remember he had his first therapy session yesterday.

"How did therapy go? I was so tired yesterday I forgot to ask." I look up at him.

He gives me a quick glance and focuses on the TV again.

"Yeah, fine." He says casually.

"Yeah, fine, and what else?" I chuckle. "What does the building look like? How do you like your therapist? Spill."

"Well, the building is sleek and light.."

Can't relate. I'm jealous already.

"The people there are pretty normal, regular people in the waiting rooms. My therapist.. He's a nice guy." He shrugs.

"It's a guy?" I ask.

He nods.

I wonder if he's attractive.. Maybe that's why Aron isn't talking about it..

"He's like sixty. Don't worry."

I swear he can read my mind.

"I wasn't worried." I lie.

"Right." He smiles.

"What kind of therapy are you getting?" I ask.

"Uh..."

I look up at him again.

"Just.. normal."

"Normal? What does that mean? Didn't he suggest any certain kind of therapy?"

Aron's gone quiet.

I sit up.

"Aron?" What's wrong with him?

"I didn't stay long enough to find out." He admits.

Are you fucking kidding me?

He can probably see the anger on my face cause he's starting to talk really fast.

"I just couldn't take it, okay? All those people looking all clinical, him nodding and writing down everything I say. It makes my fucking skin crawl, I just couldn't take it—"

"Do you think I'm enjoying myself? I have to sit down and tell a stranger the worst things that ever happened to me every week, Aron. I can hardly take that either but I'm doing it for you!"

"I know! Don't you think I tried? I just can't.. I can't talk about this!"

"Fine! Then don't."

I look Aron dead in the eyes and I'm about ready to punch him, but I walk away before I can.

"Sky, please.." Aron gets up.

"Just go." I say icily.

I slam the door to my room.

It's completely quiet after that.