7. Panic.

I walk the last bit to Shawn's house. To my dismay, his car is in the driveway.

Suddenly all four of the doors open and the guys walk out. I let out a sigh of relief when I realize Aron isn't there. Now I'll just wait here until they're inside. Perfect. No one has seen me yet so all I have to do is hide behind that tree and—

"Yo, isn't that Sky?" Evan remarks.

Shit.

Then I see a flashy red vintage car drive past me. It's Aron.

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.

"Yeah, I think so." Mikey says.

I sigh and walk over to them.

"Hey, guys." I say awkwardly.

They all greet me in the same awkward fashion.

I look at my shoes. The only item I have on that actually belongs to me.

Then Aron gets out of his car. Sunglasses and leather jacket on. The whole classic player look. I roll my eyes.

"Yo," He says as he walks up to us.

He takes off his sunglasses and scans me head to toe.

"Nice outfit. Where did you get it?" Aron teases, his eyes playful.

That fucking—

"Hey, let's go inside. I think we all need to talk." Shawn says seriously.

I sigh. Here it comes.

***

We're all sat on Shawn's couch, waiting for him to start talking. He's always the one that brings us together when there's a fight. Though, this time I may have gone too far. Not stealing another man's girl is bro-code. If you break it, you're out. Which leaves me with absolutely no friends.

"So, obviously we need to talk about what happened yesterday. Cheating is not okay but Loren isn't in our group so that doesn't matter. The main issue is that you hit on Mikey's crush even though you knew he liked her—"

"I told you, I forgot!" I try to defend myself.

"And that's the problem! You don't pay attention. Do you even remember what Evan told you about his summer?" Shawn asks.

I search my memory.

"Y-yes.. he.. he went to the beach?"

The guys all sigh of frustration.

Guess not.

I look down at my hands.

I'm such an ass. I can't even pay attention to my friends.

"I just.. I have a pea-sized brain. I can't help it! I even forget my own shit sometimes, you guys know that!"

"He does have a point there.." Mikey mumbles in thought.

The guys chuckle.

"I'm really sorry, Mike. I promise I won't go near her again."

"Nah, it's fine, dude. I know you didn't mean any harm. And what kind of girl could she be if she wants to be kissed by you! Ew!" Mikey jokes.

I throw a pillow at him.

The guys all laugh.

I guess we made up, huh? I really didn't see that coming.

"So what are we doing to celebrate?" Aron asks.

Ugh. Aron again.

"Let's play some MRC!"

The guys all get the controllers and the Xbox ready.

"You guys start without me, I'm going to the bathroom." I get up.

"Sure, dude." Shawn says.

I walk out of the living room. When I'm in the bathroom I let out a relieved sigh. Guess I won't be friendless after all.

After I'm done, I walk out of the bathroom. The strong cigarette smell enters my nose. I sigh and to my left, smoking right outside the house with the door open, is Aron.

I roll my eyes and ignore him, heading for the door to the living room.

"All's well that ends well, right?"

I turn around.

"What are you even doing here? Are you stalking me or something?"

"Did you forget that they're my friends too?"

"You don't even like them."

"I like you." He smiles a smug smile.

I shake my head and walk to the door. This is stupid. I have to stay as far away from him as possible.

I'm about to open the door when Aron slams his hands against it, caging me between his arms.

My heart beats insanely at the sudden shock.

I turn around and his eyes look amused.

He leans closer and locks his lips with mine. I can't turn away, I have nowhere to go. But something tells me that even if I could, I wouldn't.

I grab onto his leather jacket and pull him closer to me.

Why can't I control myself with this guy?!?!

He pulls away and grabs my hand.

"Where are we going?" I ask quietly, passively, as he drags me up the stairs.

He closes the door to Shawn's bedroom and throws me on the bed. His eyes are on fire with passion.

I try to pretend that I don't want any of this. I fail miserably.

He gets on top of me and kisses me again.

But instead of turning me on it cages me.

I pant as his hands glide over my stomach while he kisses my neck.

Something changes.

Fear takes over my body. I suddenly don't feel the passion and desire I felt just a moment ago.

My body goes numb with fear and I focus on one point on the ceiling while Aron touches me. My breathing is fast but quiet.

I can feel him kiss my neck but I don't respond. I just lay there, trying to survive.

I feel tears forming in my eyes but I can't do anything.

I'm trapped inside my own body.

"Sky? Sky, are you okay?" Aron asks, his voice hoarse.

I can't respond, I can't move. I can't do anything.

Aron gets off of me and shakes me.

I try to breathe normally and snap out of it.

I look at him again, his eyes look worried.

"Sky?"

I sit up.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine." I mumble as I try to collect myself.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I get up.

I walk into the little bathroom inside Shawn's room, close the door and lean against the sink.

What the hell just happened?

The last time I felt that way..

My mind goes back to memories of the past. Memories I've tried to stomp out of my mind for years and years and it seemed to have worked but it all comes back to me.

Flashes of every time, every touch, every word.

'It's okay, don't be scared..' Says the man with the low voice.

'Don't tell anyone.. or we'll both be in a lot of trouble..'

My breathing quickens again at every thought.

After a while I begin to gasp for air.

I can't breathe!

It's like there is no air around me anymore. Like I'm trying to breathe underwater. It feels like I'm choking.

"Sky?" Aron asks from the other side of the door.

'Help!' I want to scream but I can't get a word out.

I slide down to the floor trying to breathe.

After a while he opens the door.

"SKY!" He screams, terrified.

He falls down on his knees next to me and holds me in his arms. But it doesn't help, it only gets worse.

I'm dying. I'm actually dying.

"GUYS!" He screams, not letting go of me for a second.

After a while the guys all run into the bathroom.

"What the hell is going on!" Shawn asks.

"I don't know! I found him like this. Call 911!" Aron screams.

"Guys, he's having a panic attack. My sister has it all the time." Evan says calmly.

A.. panic attack?

"Give him space. Everyone out, now!" Evan commands.

Aron keeps his arms tight around me while the other guys leave.

"Let him go, Aron!"

Aron lets go of me but I still can't breathe.

Evan sits down in front of me.

"Hey, Sky. It's okay." He says.

He looks incredibly calm.

"I get that you're scared but what's happening is not dangerous. Just try to breathe in with me, okay?"

I nod.

"Breathe in while I count to five. Okay, one, two, three.."

I make an effort to breathe in the full five seconds and then slowly breathe out again. At first it feels useless, like it's impossible but then it gets easier.

"Good job, let's do it again. One, two,"

I breathe in and out and slowly feel myself getting calmer again. We repeat that a few times.

"Okay, one last time. You're doing great,"

After the last time I find myself being able to breathe normally again. I sigh relieved.

"Awesome, you did great. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah." I say quietly.

I look into his kind light brown eyes.

How do I ever thank him?

"Thank you—"

"Hey, you did all the work. I'm proud of you, man."  He smiles.

I hug him tight.

Aron comes back in, looking stressed as hell.

"And?" He asks anxiously.

"I'm fine." I answer.

"Jesus, you scared the crap outta me!"

Evan rises to his feet.

"Yo, Aron. Calm down, okay?  It's all good." He taps his shoulder.

"Right.. I'm sorry."

***

I sit down and slam the door of my car. I stare ahead of me for a while. How did that just happen? A panic attack? I've never had that before. And my memories.. how come they all suddenly came to the forefront? After all this time..

My car door opens.

I look beside me and it's Aron.

"Scoot. You're not driving." He says nonchalantly.

"Except, this is my car and I'll decide if I drive it or not."

Aron sighs exhausted.

"Do you need me to move you?"

He might as well ask 'Do you need me to give you another panic attack?'. I don't know why he has this effect on me.

I sigh and move to the passenger's seat.

"Now there's a good girl." He teases as he sits down and slams the door.

I'm too tired to object.