chapter 19

I started pondering over what had happened. Lakhs of thoughts started disturbing me. I had no idea which thoughts were right and which thoughts were wrong. “Divya, what did you do today? You lost your virginity! You didn’t want to do that. You went with Vicky just to talk to him. He also didn’t reveal his real intentions to you. Did he use me? But I also enjoyed with him. I went with him with my own will. He did with me everything because I let him do. But you should not have lost your virginity. How can you sleep with someone before marriage? Uff! What’s happening  to me? I don’t even know what I did was right or wrong. On the other hand, there must be many girls who lose their virginity at this age.”At night at about 10 p.m.I was lying on the bed. My mobile buzzed. I checked my mobile. It was a whats app message from Vicky. I clicked on his message. It read, “I hope you enjoyed a lot.”I texted him, “Don’t talk to me. You cheated me!”He replied, “What! I didn’t cheat you.”Divya - You didn’t tell me that you were going to do this to me. Vicky - I also didn’t know that I was going to do that. Divya - You are lying. You pre planned everything. Vicky - I swear I didn’t do any pre planning. I just planned to talk to you. Divya - Then why did you do what you did to me? I was trying to push you away but you didn’t stop. You know that. Vicky - I am very sorry, Divya. I thought you were also enjoying. Divya - No, I was not enjoying at all. Vicky - Then you must have told me na. Divya - But why did you do that to me? Vicky - Actually, Divya, I didn’t even come to know when I started all this. You were looking damn hot. I could not stop myself. Moreover, you said I love you to me. And I became helpless. I thought I should express my love for you. Divya - Is this a way to express your love for a girl? Vicky - Hmm… I thought that was the best way. I am sorry, if I hurt you. I promise I will not repeat it again. I am really very very sorry. Divya - Hmm… You broke my heart. Vicky - I am extremely sorry for it. I promise I will compensate for it. Divya - Compensate? How can you compensate for it? Vicky - Please give me a day more. I want to beg sorry from you face to face. Divya - No, I don’t want to meet you ever again. Vicky - Please meet me one last time. Don’t leave me in the sense of guilt. I promise, I will make up for my mistake. I will ask sorry from you one thousand times within an hour. I felt relieved to hear that. I thought, “He is also feeling guilty. I guess he is really sorry for his mistake.”He texted me again, “Will you meet me tomorrow after school time?”Divya - Okay. But this time, I don’t want any troubles. Vicky - Sure. The next day, after the school time, I again went with Vicky to the same house making an excuse to Vaishali that I was going to my relative’s house. No sooner did I step into the room than he caught my hair hardly and pressed my lips against his lips. Again, the lips turned into a long smooch and again I fell on the bed. This time again, I was trying to push him away but not from my heart. My heart had already given up. Again, my clothes left my body one after the other and I ended up giving up my whole body to him.After an hour, he started putting on his clothes and said, “Baby, hurry up. You must be getting late. Put on your clothes and reach home fast.” I looked at the clock. It was already 4 p.m. Quickly, I put on my clothes and reached back home.My mom said, “You are again late! And you didn’t even tell me beforehand.”To avert the situation, I quickly started dusting the house, “Mom, don’t worry, I will help you with your work today.”She said angrily, “I don’t need your help. I can do my work myself.” I smiled and said, “A daughter wants to help her mom. Let her help na.” Seeing my sweet smile, her anger vanished. She said, “Okay, do dusting. I could not do dusting in the morning. My health has not been okay since this morning.”I said, “Don’t worry, mom. I will handle everything. I will also cook food if you wish.”Mom - No, dusting is enough. You focus on your studies. Divya - Okay. I continued dusting the house. While I was dusting, I thought, “I again slept with him! Yesterday, he asked me sorry for what happened on the first day. And he did it again. But the truth is that I also enjoyed a lot. It’s really a great experience. But it’s wrong. I should haven’t done that. Uff! My mind is getting messed up. I think I need some good suggestions. I need counselling. But who will help me in this? I can’t share these things with my mom. If I try to say to her any such thing, she will kill me.”“Oh yeah. I can discuss about it with Vaishali. But what will I say to her? I can’t say to her that I slept with him. Hmm… I will talk to her about it indirectly. Yeah, it’s a good idea.”The Next working day of the schoolI reached the class before Vaishali and started eagerly waiting for her. I thought, “Today, I will discuss my problem indirectly with her and find out the solution.” After a few minutes, she entered the class, I greeted her, “Good morning, my friend Vaishali.”(It will be so nice of you, if you leave at least a single word comment and please don't forget to follow me and become my superfan. You will be able to read all the locked parts of all my series for free and you will also be able to chat with me and my superfans directly.)