chapter 63

“Somewhere I am sad that you are going to live the rest of your life with this illusion. I wonder sometimes even the illusions are very beautiful. I guess one should have these types of illusions if one can’t experience the things that he always wanted to experience.”He said, looking towards me, “I love you.”I smiled and replied back in a very loving tone, “I love you too.”He said, running his fingers in my hairs, “Hope you enjoyed.” I blushed and shook my head affirmatively. He hugged me tightly. I said, “I have achieved everything I wanted. Now, I will never feel bored and lonely again.” He smiled and said, “Yeah.”Everything went great for about a few days but it failed to complete even a week. Unfortunately, something started changing in my life that I never expected. On the sixth day, Raj was out for some daily chores. I was alone at the house and hundreds of thoughts started racing in my mind. I thought, “Where has my happiness gone? I was extremely happy when I entered the house. What happened to me now? On the first day, when I had sex with Raj, I really enjoyed it a lot. Then we had sex many times. But with every next time, my fun began to decrease.”“The sex that we had just two hours ago, I didn’t enjoy it at all. What’s happening to me? Why am I not enjoying it as before? Moreover, the boredom has also started entering my life again. I have started feeling bored again. The astonishing fact is that I feel boredom not only in his absence but also in his presence! It’s strange.”Raj opened the main door of the house with the keys he had. He entered the house with various food items. He said, “Hey, you appear to be very serious.”I said without using any filter, “I am feeling bored.”He was surprised to hear that, “Bored? Haha. What happened? Why are you feeling bored? I am with you. Everything is fine.”I said, “Yeah, everything is fine. I know. But I am not feeling good nowadays.”He sat beside me and asked me seriously, “Tell me what happened?”I said in a dull tone, “We are just doing sex, sex and sex. We are not even talking to each other properly.”He said, surprised, “What are you saying? Every moment I spend with you and you say I don’t talk to you.”I didn’t want to say angrily but I don’t know why, I said angrily, “Yes, you don’t talk to me! Did you ever try to talk to me about how I feel? You always just play with my body.”He felt very filthy to hear that but he managed to say politely, “Don’t say that, Divya. I love you because of you, not for your body!”Somewhere I felt guilty of what I said to him, I started weeping, “I don’t know why, I am feeling bored. I am not even enjoying sex with you!”His heart broke to hear that, “What are you saying, Divya? What happened to you?” He hugged me to make me feel a bit comfortable.He said to himself in his mind, “What’s happening? She said she is not enjoying sex with me. But she doesn’t know I am also feeling the same! If I tell her I also didn’t enjoy sex with you that we did just two hours ago, it will crumble her heart into millions of pieces. Divya, you shared your feelings bluntly and broke my heart but I can’t do the same. But what’s transpiring with us, I am not able to understand. I have never ever thought even in the wildest of my dreams that I won’t be able to enjoy sex with her!”I asked him, while we were in each other’s arms, “Why am I feeling bored?”He didn’t have an answer, he said, “Don’t worry, sometimes it happens. This time will pass.”I posed another impossible question to him, “Why have I started feeling lonely despite being with you?”Internally, he was shocked to hear my question but he didn’t let his feelings surface, “Sometimes, it happens. Don’t worry.” He said to himself within his mind, “Oh God, I have also started feeling awkward with her. I don’t know why it’s happening. Why am I feeling burdened being with her? Has she become my responsibility? That’s why am I feeling burdened? Do I have to take extra care of her? That’s why am I feeling burdened? I don’t have any answers to my own questions. I can’t tell you, Divya. But the reality is that I myself am very confused about myself.”At night, we lay on the same bed but I didn’t even touch him. I didn’t even feel like touching him. I wanted to have my own space. I wanted to sleep alone and peacefully without any disturbance from his side. He also didn’t try to touch me. Perhaps, he wanted the same I wanted. Thousands of unexpected thoughts were crossing my mind. Perhaps, the same kinds of thoughts were racing his mind too. I said to myself within my mind, “I never thought there would be a night in my life when I would be on the same bed where Raj lay and I didn’t even feel like touching him or getting touched by him. But it’s happening today. What a drastic change! And that also within the first week of our marriage.”He turned to the other side and thought, “What’s happening to me? I am losing interest in her with every passing day. Perhaps, she is also losing her interest in me. That’s why her behaviour has become awkward. She is speaking her heart without using any filters but I can’t even do that. My one honest word can crush his heart forever. I don’t want to end this relationship like that.” (It will be so nice of you, if you leave at least a single word comment and please don't forget to follow me and become my superfan. You will be able to read all the locked parts of all my series for free and you will also be able to chat with me and my superfans directly.)