chapter 65

The Next DayIn the evening, Sanaya and I sat on the beach. Cool air was making our hairs move like waves. I said to her, “I called you here because I want to talk to you on a very important matter. I am in a big trouble.”She asked concerned, “What happened?”I said in a gloomy tone, “I am not feeling happy.”She was shocked to hear that, “What? I can’t believe that. You have got everything you wanted.”Tears welled up my eyes, “ I am not feeling happy. I am telling you truth. But I don’t know why? I got what I wanted but…“Sanaya - Did he say anything to you?I shook my head negatively, “Not at all. He is very caring. He tries his best to take care of me.”Sanaya - Then what’s the problem? Any financial issue?I said in a low voice, “No.”Sanaya - Any other problem? Divya - No.Sanaya - Then why are you feeling sad?Divya - I also don’t know why? I am confused. Sanaya - Okay, let’s do one thing. Just speak your heart. Tell me whatever you want to say. Just tell me everything, what are you feeling? Which thoughts are running in your mind? What do you think is the reason for your sadness? Just open yourself.I took a deep breath and said, “Okay, I am going to try. I am feeling empty from inside. Despite being with Raj, I feel lonely. It’s not happening as I thought. What I used to think in my imaginations, nothing happened like that. The reality is very very different. I am not feeling good. I feel that my life was way better with my mom than him. I am also losing attraction towards him. I am not feeling the way I used to feel for him.”She said smilingly, “Divya, do you remember  one day I told you that sex doesn’t matter a lot in a relationship. Sex is over within thirty minutes but still you have to spend twenty three and a half hours. From that you can spend a maximum of ten hours sleeping. But still, you have thirteen and a half hours remaining. Only sexual relationship doesn’t work in a practical life.”I lowered my eyes and said, “Yes, you are right. But what to do now? I want to go back.”Sanaya - Divya, actually it’s not a question of going back or continue to stay with him. The problem is not with Raj. This you also admit. Divya - Hmm…Sanaya - The problem is not even in your relationship with him. Divya - I guess. Sanaya - You know what’s the reality? Divya - No.Sanaya - Do you want to hear the real reason of your sadness? Divya - Yeah. Sanaya - Please don’t mind. Divya - No, you please tell me where the problem is according to you. Sanaya - The problem is in you!Perhaps, my ego got hurt to hear that, “What? I am trying my level best.”She said, “I know you are trying your level best. But the problem is that you don’t know where to try your level best.”I was confused a bit, “What do you mean?”She said in a confident voice, “Your problem is that you don’t know how to cope up with the void within you.”I didn’t understand what she meant by the void, “Void?”Sanaya - Divya, now what I am going to say is going to be very deep. Listen to me carefully. We all human beings have a void within us. We all feel incomplete. We think if we get the right company we will feel complete. We will not feel lonely. Girls think if they make a boyfriend they will feel incomplete. Boys think if they make a girlfriend they will feel complete. They will not feel lonely. But it doesn’t happen. These are just our illusions.I strained my ears to try to understand her carefully. She added, “Actually, we don’t know what our main problem is. Our main problem is the inner emptiness. We can’t fill our inner emptiness with anyone's company. We need to learn to cope up with our inner emptiness. Once we come to know how to deal with it, then it doesn’t matter if we are living alone or with somebody, in both of the ways, we feel happy and complete.”Divya - What? What did you say? If we learn to cope up with our inner emptiness then we can stay happy and feel complete even being alone? Sanaya - Yes. In fact, those who know how to live happily alone, only they can live happily with others. If you learn how to live happily alone, only then will you be able to live with Raj happily. Divya - Oh gosh! What are you saying? I am not getting anything. She smiled and said, “I can understand your problem. Actually, it’s a very new concept for you. And I guess it’s the last concept that you need to understand to live a happy life.”Divya - Hmm… Can you tell me how can I cope with my inner emptiness? Please tell me practically. I mean try to explain to me pragmatically, not theoretically. Sanaya - Okay, I will try my level best. First thing you need to do is to find your passion. It can be anything like writing poems, stories, painting, drawing, doing research etc. Once you find your passion, then put your full energy into it. Hone your skills in the related field whenever you get free time. Divya - Hey, wait. I asked you how I can deal with my inner emptiness. Sanaya - My dear, I am answering the same question. It’s the only way to deal with your inner emptiness. There are only two things possible in life. Either conquer your inner emptiness or the inner emptiness will conquer you. If the inner emptiness conquers you, then it will not let you live. Live with anyone, be it your mom or boyfriend, you will not feel complete, you will feel unhappy. (It will be so nice of you, if you leave at least a single word comment and please don't forget to follow me and become my superfan. You will be able to read all the locked parts of all my series for free and you will also be able to chat with me and my superfans directly.)