It Ends with Us: Part 1 – Chapter 10
It Ends with Us: A Novel (1)
âCan I ask you a personal question?â
Allysa nods as she perfects a bouquet of flowers about to go out for delivery. Weâre three days away from our grand opening, and it just keeps getting busier by the day.
âWhat is it?â Allysa asks, facing me. She leans into the counter and starts picking at her fingernails.
âYou donât have to answer it if you donât want to,â I warn.
âWell I canât answer it if you donât ask it.â
Thatâs a good point. âDo you and Marshall donate to charity?â
Confusion crosses her face and she says, âYeah. Why?â
I shrug. âI was just curious. I wouldnât judge you or anything. Iâve just been thinking lately about how I might like to start a charity.â
âWhat kind of charity?â she asks. âWe donate to a few different ones now that we have money, but my favorite is this one we got involved with last year. They build schools in other countries. Weâve funded three new constructions in the past year alone.â
I knew I liked her for a reason.
âI donât have that kind of money, obviously, but Iâd like to do something. I just donât know what yet.â
âLetâs get through this grand opening first and then you can start thinking about philanthropy. One dream at a time, Lily.â She walks around the counter and grabs the trash can. I watch as she pulls the full bag out of it and ties it in a knot. It makes me wonder whyâif she has people for everythingâshe would even want a job where she had to take out the trash and get her hands dirty.
âWhy do you work here?â I ask her.
She glances up at me and smiles. âBecause I like you,â she says. But then I notice the smile completely leave her eyes right before she turns and walks toward the back to throw out the trash. When she comes back, Iâm still watching her curiously. I say it again.
âAllysa? Why do you work here?â
She stops what sheâs doing and takes in a slow breath like maybe sheâs contemplating being honest with me. She walks back to the counter and leans against it, crossing her feet at her ankles.
âBecause,â she says, looking down at her feet. âI canât get pregnant. Weâve been trying for two years but nothing has worked. I was tired of sitting at home crying all the time, so I decided I should find something to keep my mind busy.â She stands up straight and wipes her hands across her jeans. âAnd you, Lily Bloom, are keeping me very busy.â She turns and starts messing with the same bouquet of flowers again. Sheâs been perfecting them for half an hour. She picks up a card and stuffs it in the flowers, and then turns around and hands me the vase. âThese are for you, by the way.â
Itâs obvious Allysa wants to change the subject, so I take the flowers from her. âWhat do you mean?â
She rolls her eyes and waves me off to my office. âItâs on the card. Go read it.â
I can tell by her annoyed reaction that theyâre from Ryle. I grin and run to my office. I take a seat at my desk and pull out the card.
Lily,
Iâm having serious withdrawals.
âRyle
I smile and put the card back in the envelope. I grab my phone and snap a picture of me holding the flowers with my tongue sticking out. I text it to Ryle.
Me: I tried to warn you.
He immediately starts texting me back. I watch anxiously as the dots on my phone move back and forth.
Ryle: I need my next fix. Iâll be finished here in about thirty minutes. Can I take you to dinner?
Me: Canât. Mom wants me to try a new restaurant with her tonight. Sheâs an obnoxious foodie. : (
Ryle: I like food. I eat food. Where are you taking her?
Me: A place called Bibâs on Marketson.
Ryle: Is there room for one more?
I stare at his text for a moment. He wants to meet my mother? We arenât even officially dating. I mean . . . I donât care if he meets my mother. She would love him. But he went from not wanting anything to do with relationships, to possibly agreeing to test-drive one, to meeting the parents, all within five days? Good God. I really am a drug.
Me: Sure. Meet us there in half an hour.
I walk out of my office and straight up to Allysa. I hold my phone in front of her face. âHe wants to meet my mother.â
âWho?â
âRyle.â
âMy brother?â she says, looking as shocked as I feel.
I nod. âYour brother. My mother.â
She grabs my phone and looks at the texts. âHuh. Thatâs so weird.â
I take my phone from her hands. âThanks for the vote of confidence.â
She laughs and says, âYou know what I mean. Itâs Ryle weâre talking about here. Heâs never, in the history of being Ryle Kincaid, met a girlâs parents.â
Of course hearing her say that makes me smile, but then I wonder if maybe heâs doing this just to please me. If maybe heâs doing things he doesnât really want to do just because he knows I want a relationship.
And then I smile even bigger, because isnât that what itâs all about? Sacrificing for the person you like so that you can see them happy?
âYour brother must really like me,â I say teasingly. I look back up at Allysa, expecting her to laugh, but thereâs a solemn look on her face.
She nods and says, âYeah. Iâm afraid he does.â She grabs her purse from beneath the counter and says, âIâm gonna head out now. Let me know how it goes, okay?â She moves past me and I watch her as she makes her way out the door, and then I just stare at the door for a long time.
It bothers me that she doesnât seem excited about the prospect of me dating Ryle. It makes me wonder if that has more to do with her feelings toward me or her feelings toward him.
⢠⢠â¢
Twenty minutes later, I flip the sign to closed. Just a few more days. I lock the door and walk to my car, but stop short when I see someone leaning against it. It takes me a moment to recognize him. Heâs facing the other direction, talking on his cell phone.
I thought he was meeting me at the restaurant, but okay.
The horn beeps on my car when I hit the Unlock button, and Ryle spins around. He grins when he sees me. âYes, I agree,â he says into the phone. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me against him, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. âWeâll talk about it tomorrow,â he says. âSomething really important just came up.â
He hangs up the phone and slides it into his pocket, then he kisses me. Itâs not a hello kiss. Itâs an Iâve-been-thinking-about-you-nonstop kiss. He wraps both arms around me and spins me until Iâm backed up against my car, where he continues to kiss me until I start to feel dizzy again. When he pulls back, heâs looking down at me appreciatively.
âYou know which part of you drives me the craziest?â He brings his fingers to my mouth and traces my smile. âThese,â he says. âYour lips. I love how theyâre as red as your hair and you donât even have to wear lipstick.â
I grin and kiss his fingers. âI better watch you around my mom, then, because everyone says we have the same mouth.â
He pauses his fingers against my lips and he stops smiling. âLily. Just . . . no.â
I laugh and open my door. âAre we taking separate cars?â
He pulls the door open for me the rest of the way and says, âI took an Uber here from work. Weâll ride together.â
⢠⢠â¢
My mother is already seated at a table when we arrive. Her back is to the door as I lead the way.
Iâm instantly impressed by the restaurant. My eyes are drawn to the warm, neutral colors painted on the walls and the almost full-sized tree in the middle of the restaurant. It looks like itâs growing straight out of the floor, almost as if the entire restaurant was designed around the tree. Ryle follows closely behind me with his hand on my lower back. Once we reach the table, I begin to pull off my jacket. âHey, Mom.â
She looks up from her phone and says, âOh, hey, honey.â She drops her phone in her purse and waves her hand around the restaurant. âI already love it. Look at the lighting,â she says, pointing up. âThe fixtures look like something youâd grow in one of your gardens.â Thatâs when she notices Ryle, who is standing patiently next to me as I slide into the booth. My mother smiles at him and says, âWeâll take two waters for now, please.â
My eyes dart to Ryle and then back to my mother. âMom. Heâs with me. Heâs not the waiter.â
She looks up at Ryle again with confusion. He just smiles and reaches out his hand. âHonest mistake, maâam. Iâm Ryle Kincaid.â
She returns the handshake, looking back and forth between us. He releases her hand and slides into the booth. She looks a little flustered when she finally says, âJenny Bloom. Nice to meet you.â She places her attention back on me and raises an eyebrow. âA friend of yours, Lily?â
I canât believe Iâm not better prepared for this moment. What in the heck do I introduce him as? My trial run? I canât say boyfriend, but I canât very well say friend. Prospect seems a little dated.
Ryle notices my pause, so he puts his hand on my knee and squeezes reassuringly. âMy sister works for Lily,â he says. âHave you met her? Allysa?â
My mother leans forward in her booth and says, âOh! Yes! Of course. You two look so much alike now that you mention it,â she says. âItâs the eyes, I think. And the mouth.â
He nods. âWe both favor our mother.â
My mother smiles at me. âPeople always say they think Lily favors me.â
âYes,â he says. âIdentical mouths. Uncanny.â Ryle squeezes my knee under the table again while I try and suppress my laughter. âLadies, if youâll excuse me, I need to head to the gentlemenâs room.â He leans in and kisses me on the side of the head before standing. âIf the waiter comes, Iâll just take water.â
My motherâs eyes follow Ryle as he walks away, and then she slowly turns back to me. She points at me and then to his empty seat. âHow come I havenât heard about this guy?â
I smile a little. âThings are kind of . . . itâs not really . . .â I have no idea how to explain our situation to my mother. âHe works a lot, so we havenât really spent that much time together. At all. This is actually the first time weâve been to dinner together.â
My mother raises an eyebrow. âReally?â she says, leaning back in her seat. âHe sure doesnât treat it like that. I meanâhe seems comfortably affectionate with you. Not normal behavior with someone youâve just met.â
âWe didnât just meet,â I say. âItâs been almost a year since the first time I met him. And weâve spent time together, just not on a date. He works a lot.â
âWhere does he work?â
âMassachusetts General Hospital.â
My mother leans forward and her eyes practically bulge from her head. âLily!â she hisses. âHeâs a doctor?â
I nod, suppressing my grin. âA neurosurgeon.â
âCan I get you ladies something to drink?â a waiter asks.
âYeah,â I say. âWeâll take three . . .â
And then I clamp my mouth shut.
I stare at the waiter and the waiter stares back at me. My heart is in my throat. I canât remember how to speak.
âLily?â my mother says. She flicks her hand toward the waiter. âHeâs waiting for your drink order.â
I shake my head and begin to stutter. âIâll . . . um . . .â
âThree waters,â my mother says, interrupting my fumbled words. The waiter snaps out of his trance long enough to tap his pencil on his pad of paper.
âThree waters,â he says. âGot it.â He turns and walks away, but I watch as he glances back at me before pushing through the doors to the kitchen.
My mother leans forward and says, âWhat in the world is wrong with you?â
I point over my shoulder. âThe waiter,â I say, shaking my head. âHe looked exactly like . . .â
Iâm about to say, âAtlas Corrigan,â when Ryle walks up and slides back into the seat.
He glances back and forth between us. âWhatâd I miss?â
I swallow hard, shaking my head. Surely that wasnât really Atlas. But those eyesâhis mouth. I know itâs been years since I saw him, but Iâll never forget what he looked like. It had to be him. I know it was and I know he recognized me, too, because the second our eyes met . . . it looked like heâd seen a ghost.
âLily?â Ryle says, squeezing my hand. âYou okay?â
I nod and force a smile, then clear my throat. âYep. We were just talking about you,â I say, glancing back at my mother. âRyle assisted in an eighteen-hour surgery this week.â
My mother leans forward with interest. Ryle begins to tell her all about the surgery. Our water arrives, but itâs a different waiter this time. He asks if weâve had a chance to go over the menu and then tells us the chefâs specials. The three of us order our food and Iâm doing everything I can to focus, but my attention is all over the restaurant looking for Atlas. I need to regroup. After a few minutes, I lean over to Ryle. âI need to run to the restroom.â
He stands up to let me out and my eyes are scanning the face of every waiter as I make my way across the room. I push through the door to the hallway that leads to the restrooms. As soon as Iâm alone, my back meets the wall of the hallway. I lean forward and release a huge breath. I decide to take a moment and regain my composure before heading back out there. I bring my hands up to my forehead and close my eyes.
For nine years Iâve wondered what happened to him. Years.
âLily?â
I glance up and suck in a breath. Heâs standing at the end of the hallway like a ghost straight out of the past. My eyes travel to his feet to make sure heâs not suspended in the air.
He isnât. Heâs real, and heâs standing right in front of me.
I stay pressed against the wall, not sure what to say to him. âAtlas?â
As soon as I say his name, he blows out a quick breath of relief and then takes three huge steps forward. I catch myself doing the same. We meet in the middle and throw our arms around each other. âHoly shit,â he says, holding me in a tight embrace.
I nod. âYeah. Holy shit.â
He puts his hands on my shoulders and takes a step back to look at me. âYou havenât changed at all.â
I cover my mouth with my hand, still in shock, and give him the once-over. His face looks the same, but heâs no longer the scrawny teenager I remember. âI canât say the same for you.â
He looks down at himself and laughs. âYeah,â he says. âEight years in the military will do that to ya.â
Weâre both in shock, so nothing is said right after that. We just keep shaking our heads in disbelief. He laughs and then I laugh. Finally, he releases my shoulders and folds his arms over his chest. âWhat brings you to Boston?â he asks.
He says it so casually, and Iâm thankful for that. Maybe he doesnât remember our conversation all those years ago about Boston, which would save me a lot of embarrassment.
âI live here,â I say, forcing my answer to sound as casual as his question. âI own a flower shop over on Park Plaza.â
He smiles knowingly, like it doesnât at all surprise him. I glance toward the door, knowing I should get back out there. He notices and then takes another step back. He holds my gaze for a moment and it gets really quiet. Way too quiet. Thereâs so much to say but neither of us even knows where to start. The smile leaves his eyes for a moment and then he motions toward the door. âYou should probably get back to your company,â he says. âIâll look you up sometime. You said Park Plaza, right?â
I nod.
He nods.
The door swings open and a woman walks in holding a toddler. She moves between us, which puts even more distance between us. I take a step toward the door, but he remains in the same spot. Before I walk out, I turn back to him and smile. âIt was really good to see you, Atlas.â
He smiles a little, but it doesnât touch his eyes. âYeah. You too, Lily.â
⢠⢠â¢
Iâm mostly quiet for the rest of the meal. Iâm not sure Ryle or my mother even notice, though, because sheâs having no issue firing question after question at him. He takes it like a champ. Heâs very charming with my mother in all the right ways.
Unexpectedly running into Atlas tonight put such a wrinkle in my emotions, but by the end of dinner, Ryle has smoothed them back out again.
My mother takes her napkin and wipes her mouth, then points at me. âNew favorite restaurant,â she says. âIncredible.â
Ryle nods. âI agree. I need to bring Allysa here. She loves trying new restaurants.â
The food really is good, but the last thing I need is for either of these two to want to come back here. âIt was okay,â I say.
He pays for our meals, of course, and then insists we walk my mother to her car. I can already tell sheâll be calling me about him tonight, simply by the prideful look on her face.
Once sheâs gone, Ryle walks me to my car.
âI requested an Uber so you wouldnât have to go out of your way to take me home. We have approximately . . .â He looks down at his phone. âOne and a half minutes to make out.â
I laugh. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck first, and then my cheek. âI would invite myself over, but I have an early surgery tomorrow and Iâm sure my patient would appreciate it if I didnât spend the majority of the night inside you.â
I kiss him back, both disappointed and relieved heâs not coming over. âI have a grand opening in a few days. I should probably sleep, too.â
âWhenâs your next day off?â he says.
âNever. Whenâs yours?â
âNever.â
I shake my head. âWeâre doomed. Thereâs just too much drive and success between the two of us.â
âThat means the honeymoon phase will last until weâre eighty,â he says. âIâll come to your grand opening Friday and then the four of us will go out and celebrate.â A car pulls up beside us and he wraps his hand in my hair and kisses me goodbye. âYour mother is wonderful, by the way. Thank you for letting me come to dinner.â
He backs away and climbs inside the car. I watch as it pulls out of the parking lot.
I have a really good feeling about that man.
I smile and turn toward my car, but throw a hand up to my chest and gasp when I see him.
Atlas is standing at the rear of my car.
âSorry. Wasnât trying to scare you.â
I blow out a breath. âWell, you did.â I lean against the car and Atlas stays where he is, three feet away from me. He looks out at the street. âSo? Whoâs the lucky guy?â
âHeâs . . .â My voice falters. This is all so weird. My chest is still constricted and my stomach is flipping, and I canât tell if itâs leftover nerves from kissing Ryle or if itâs the presence of Atlas. âHis name is Ryle. We met about a year ago.â
I instantly regret saying we met that long ago. It makes it sound like Ryle and I have been dating that long and we arenât even officially dating. âWhat about you? Married? Have a girlfriend?â
Iâm not sure if Iâm asking to extend the conversation he started, or if Iâm genuinely curious.
âI do, actually. Her name is Cassie. Weâve been together almost a year now.â
Heartburn. I think I have heartburn. A year? I place my hand on my chest and nod. âThatâs good. You seem happy.â
Does he seem happy? I have no idea.
âYeah. Well . . . Iâm really glad I got to see you, Lily.â He turns around to walk away, but then spins and faces me again, his hands shoved in his back pockets. âI will say . . . I kind of wish this could have happened a year ago.â
I wince at his words, trying not to let them penetrate. He turns and walks back toward the restaurant.
I fumble with my keys and hit the button to unlock the car. I slide in and pull the door shut, gripping the steering wheel. For whatever reason, a huge tear falls down my cheek. A huge, pathetic, what-the-hell-is-this-wetness tear. I swipe at it and push the button to start my car.
I didnât expect to feel this much hurt after seeing him.
But itâs good. This happened for a reason. My heart needed closure so I can give it to Ryle, but maybe I couldnât do that until this happened.
This is good.
Yes, Iâm crying.
But itâll feel better. This is just human nature, healing an old wound to prepare for a fresh new layer.
Thatâs all.