Chapter 13: A Good Friend

I can't sleep.

It's two in the morning, and I have school tomorrow, and I'm still wide fucking awake.

I can't stop thinking about today, about how Aaron looked at me, how he touched me, and how that made me feel.

Leave it to me to do this at two in the morning.

I sigh and roll over to face my balcony doors

They're closed and the curtains are drawn, but I imagine myself being able to see into his room, being able to see his white walls and his bed and his desk.

I want to see him.

My heart flutters at the thought. I want to see his smile, I want to look into his eyes, I want to hear him laugh, I want to listen to his voice as he pokes fun at me.

He makes me happy. Like, really happy. Just the thought of him makes me want to squeal.

I don't know when I turned into such a feelings person, when I actually evaluated how I felt about someone.

I groan as I shove my covers off of me, and get out of bed.

My oversized t-shirt hangs past the shorts I'm wearing, making it seem like I'm not wearing any pants.

I shiver at the feeling of cold air hitting my legs and exposed skin.

I pad over to my balcony and pull aside the curtains, opening the doors once the curtains are out of the way.

I step outside and close the doors softly behind me.

I turn back around to face Aaron's doors, only to see that his curtains are drawn.

A flash of disappointment runs through me before I push it away and turn to face the ladder I asked Dad to install so I could climb on to the roof without falling and dying or breaking something.

Even with the ladder I still feel like I'm going to die by falling off.

I climb up the wooden ladder and pull myself onto the little platform.

The rest of my roof is covered in shingles and form little peaks at the top, but this part is the only part that's flat.

I sit down and pull my knees to my chest, craning my neck back to stare at the stars.

My eyes flicker back and forth, gazing at all of the stars.

I feel my muscles relax as I stare up at the dark sky.

It's calming.

"Cassie."

The harsh whisper that breaks through the silence is not.

Not at all.

I twist the top half of my body around, my heart racing.

I scowl at Aaron, ignoring the way my spirits lift at the sight of him.

"What the hell is wrong with you? How did you even get up here?"

He clambers further up the ladder and I scoot towards the rest of the roof, away from the edge, to make room for him.

He leaves his legs dangling over the edge of the roof and leans back on his hands, turning his head to shoot me a smile.

"You're going to fall," I say, after a few seconds of silence.

"Am not. You should try it. This is fun."

"I am not going to hang my feet off of a ledge, where I could accidentally fall off and die."

He tilts his head as his eyes search my soul.

"Do you think I would let you fall?"

I pause, searching past my originally planned sarcastic remark for a deeper truth.

Do I think he'd let me fall?

I have no idea if I'm being impulsive, but I feel like he wouldn't.

I feel like I know him well enough to know he would never, ever, let me fall or get hurt.

I feel like I know him well enough to trust him.

And trust is a dangerous thing.

Especially considering I haven't known him for that long.

"Cassie?"

I can see the sadness in his eyes.

I can see that he wants me to know that he would protect me, that he wants me to believe him.

To trust him.

He looks away and I can see the dejection in his posture, in the way he sits up and his shoulders slump, in the way it seems like my response, or lack of one, has damaged himself in his eyes.

I hate that I feel bad.

I hate that I care about him enough to feel bad.

I know I shouldn't. I made a promise a long time ago, and I plan to honor it.

Even if the person who promised me the same thing didn't live up to it.

But I can't stand knowing that Aaron might not like me anymore, even if he only likes me as a friend.

I haven't even known him for that long of a time and I'm already attached.

I get attached way too easily.

I sigh, knowing I might regret this tomorrow, or even after he leaves and goes back into his house.

"Yes, Aaron. I know you won't let me fall."

His head turns slowly to mine, but I look back up at the stars to avoid making eye contact.

"Do you know any constellations?"

I let out a snort.

"No."

Aaron laughs. "So you look at the stars almost every day but you don't know the names of the stars you're looking at?"

I shrug. "Sounds about right."

He lets out a loud laugh and I punch him in the shoulder.

"Hey!" he says with a pout on his face. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because, dumbass," I scowl at him. "It's two in the morning, and people, like my parents, are sleeping. And I don't think my parents would approve of me being on the roof, alone, with the neighbor's son."

The pout remains, drawing my attention to his lips before I rip my eyes away and back to the stars.

"You're kind of mean, Cassie."

"As I've been told."

He looks at me and tilts his head, thinking. "You don't have a problem with that."

It's not a question, more of a statement than a question.

"No, not really. It doesn't really bother me."

"Why not?"

"If they want to take what I'm saying as mean, that's their problem not mine. I'll agree I'm being mean if I think I'm being mean, not because they think I'm mean."

"You have an admirable view on life."

"Thanks?"

That's a little weird, but, okay.

We sit in silence, and a feeling of peacefulness washes over and through me.

I love looking at the stars, but I love it even more when I'm doing it with him.

"Well, I should go, Cassie."

"What? Why?"

"Why do you care?" he teases. "Are you going to miss me?"

I roll my eyes and immediately hold my hand up to my nose.

"I know, I know, flick. I won't do it again, please don't hurt my innocent little nose."

He lets out a laugh, much quieter than the last one.

"I'm gonna go back to my house so I can sleep. I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?"

I nod my head and watch as he climbs down the ladder.

He's leaving, which sucks, but, on the bright side, at least I'm going to figure out how he got up here and how he gets on my balcony.

I've been thinking about it for a while, but I couldn't imagine how he did it.

Granted, it's probably because I'm such a lazy couch potato, but, seriously, just the idea of trying to make it to his balcony is making my body hurt.

"Night, Cassie."

I blink and look at Aaron who is on his balcony, holding his door open, a smirk on his face.

My mouth opens. "Wha––" I blink again. "How did you––"

He chuckles. "Make sure you go to sleep."

He walks into his room and closes his door, closing the curtains after sending me a wink.

I guess I got lost in my own thoughts. I can't believe I missed how he makes it onto my balcony. I was so close, I could've figured it out.

"Damn it," I mutter under my breath as I start to climb down the ladder and head back into my room.

---------

I wake up to my phone alarm blaring from where it sits on my nightstand.

Five in the morning is too early for this.

I turn the alarm off and freeze when the door creaks open, the darkness from the hallway blending with the darkness of my room.

Well, this is it, this is how I die.

I always knew this is how it would end.

I close my eyes as I accept my fate, and I feel a presence hovering over me.

"Wake up!" A body jumps on me, a giggle sounding in the room.

I know that giggle.

"Gracie, what the hell."

"Good morning to you, Cass." Gracie giggles again. "Have a nice sleep?"

I growl as I push her off of me and get out of bed.

"Exactly what the fuck is wrong with you?"

She sighs contentedly as she snuggles into my pillows. "Just about everything."

A soft smile grows on my face as I shake my head.

I am so happy that I'm able to call this girl my best friend.

"Are you going to take a nap while I take a shower?"

She closes her eyes as she smiles. "You'd let me do that?"

"Of course I would."

She lets out a happy little sigh. "Thanks, Cass."

While Gracie is a morning person, which I find extremely weird, if she gets up too early, she's really sleepy for the rest of the day.

She normally gets up at around six, so getting up sometime before five so she can get ready before she comes over to my house shows me how much she cares.

And it hits me that I haven't been the greatest best friend out there.

Limiting what she can say, zoning out when she's talking, interrupting her almost all the time.

Shame runs through me and I fight the urge to cry.

How can I call myself her friend, her best friend? How can she call me that?

She sacrifices so much for me, ignoring her own personal needs and desires for me and Gabs, and what have I done? Take, take, take, but what have I given?

Throughout my six plus years of being Gracie's friend, what have I given her?

I'm going to be better. A better person and a better friend to Gracie.

I'm going to be better.

---------

Gracie chatters away from her spot in the driver's seat of her car as we drive to Gabs' house to pick her up.

I told her after we pulled out of our neighborhood that I was dismissing the rule.

I regretted it for about two seconds until I saw the delighted grin on her face.

"Cole said he knows a Husky breeder in the area if my parents say I can get one. If they say no, I might cry because this is something I've wanted for a long time, I've literally been begging since I was, like, five. And I—oh, no."

Her groan prompts me to speak.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized why they've always said no. Dad's allergic."

I immediately bust out laughing. "You've been asking for a dog for twelve years and you're just now understanding that they've been saying no because your dad is allergic to dogs?"

She nods her head glumly, causing me to laugh even harder.

Her face breaks into a smile and she starts to laugh with me. "Why are we laughing?"

I shake my head as I slowly stop laughing. "You're one of a kind, Gracie."

She smiles brightly and continues to drive.

An idea worms itself into my head, but I push it away because it's crazy.

My parents would never go for it.

But... I would be doing something for Gracie. I would be doing something for Gracie that she would love.

"Gracie?"

"Yep?"

"How much do you want that dog?"

---------

Gracie is bouncing with excitement when we enter the school building with our lockers.

Aaron, Cole, and Adrian are waiting in front of our lockers, conversing about something.

Aaron looks at me and looks away, before doing a double take and turning back with a smile.

Adrian and Cole notice and turn towards us, and I observe the way Cole's eyes are trained on Gracie.

"Cole, guess what?"

Gracie stands in front of him and eagerly awaits his response.

"What?"

"I can't get the dog because my dad is allergic, which I can't believe I've never connected, like, come on, I've only been living with these people my whole life. But, anyways, I can't get the dog because my dad is allergic, which I already said, but you'll never believe what Cass is going to do for me."

She pauses, obviously waiting for him to say something, and he immediately fills the silence. "What is she going to do?"

"She's going to ask her parents if she can keep the dog at her house."

She jumps up and down a little and clasps her hands in front of her in excitement.

"Cass?" Cole, like the ass he is, asks in disbelief. "Cass is going to do that? Cassandra Parker?" He gestures to me. "This Cassandra Parker that's standing right in front of us? Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure that she doesn't have a heart."

I scowl at him. "Yes, dumbass, me. I offered to ask my parents and, if they say yes, I'll keep the dog at my house and pay for him or her and take care of him or her and stuff, and Gracie can come over to play with him or her."

"Okay," he says. "But you? Why would you, the heartless she-demon do something like that?"

"Because," I say honestly. "It would make Gracie happy. Don't you want her to be happy?"

His look transforms from one of disbelief and mockingness into one with a slight air of respect.

"Look at you, Cassie," a voice pipes up. "Being all nice."

"I can be nice." Everyone around me immediately breaks into laughter and I scowl. "Okay, okay, maybe not all the time, but it happens."

The bell rings, and everyone immediately disperses, Cole, Adrian, and Gracie walking in one direction, while Aaron and I walk in another.

He slings his arm around my shoulders.

"That was nice of you, Cassie. You're a good friend."

Am I?

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If you have a dog, what type of breed is he/she? If you don't have a dog, do you want one? If so, what type of breed? Or, what's your favorite breed in general?

My favorites are Golden Retrievers and Blue Pitbulls (the greyish looking ones).

FEEDBACK IS IMPORTANT TO ME SO PLEASE GIVE IT.

^^that sounded less aggressive in my head I'm sorry. I really enjoy receiving any type of feedback, so if you have any things you want to mention, please tell me. (Better?)

--Rose