37: A Girl-devil from Hell

Quincy St. Martin

The sun is shining through the blinds when I open my eyes. My hand stretches out in search of something. I can’t figure out what it is yet, but my hand keeps searching. Nothing.

The emptiness hits my heart before my brain catches on. It hits me hard, and my eyelids fly open. ~Caspian~.

He’s gone. I look at the empty space next to me and touch the pillow where his head rested last night. The spot is already cold. I roll over and bury my nose in it. His scent lingers. There’s a hint of his expensive cologne, but the rest is his own unique scent.

Nothing and no one smells quite like him.

I want to immerse myself in the smell of him. I want to lie here until he gets back. If I keep my eyes closed like this, I can pretend that he’s still here.

I lie there for some time. Eventually, and reluctantly, I roll to lie on my back. There are two wet spots on the pillow. Oh, I’m such a silly girl. A week ago I wanted nothing to do with his kind and his world.

Now, I’m crying over him when he’s barely been gone for a few hours. I’m officially a nutcase. I remember the look in his green eyes when he showed up at my door last night. There was so much intensity and longing. My heart ached.

I took him back to my room, and we lay down next to each other on my tiny bed, watching each other in silence, willing time to stand still.

His fingers were touching my skin and my hair. I felt safe. So very safe like I knew he wouldn’t let anything harm me. The sense of security lulled me to sleep even though I fought hard to stay awake, knowing that we only had so much time together.

I stare at the ceiling, sniffling and wiping a few stray tears off my face. How can I feel this way for a man I barely know? My heart feels differently, though.

Sometimes I feel like I know him more than most and he understands me more than anyone else in my life, except for my Nana, of course.

I wonder if he’s in the air right now. What is he doing? Is he thinking about me?

The shower doesn’t make me feel any better. The empty house doesn’t help the empty feeling that I have inside.

Jonah’s been gone for almost a week now. Layla, Isaac, and Lana are from the same pack, and the three of them have gone back for the inauguration of their new alpha.

I have a couple of classes and a group meeting today, and I force myself to concentrate on them instead of a certain sexy lycan prince.

I even spend time at the library, finding materials that are not available on the internet for my group project.

Layla, Isaac, and Lana come home later in the evening. Having Layla and Isaac around is nice, but it doesn’t ease the ache and the emptiness in my heart.

The days seem to pass slowly. I attend all my classes as usual. I go to group meetings. I go to work. I have a few customers, and classmates hit on me and ask me out. All normal human men. They’ve been doing that since I got rid of the hobo hoodie, actually.

So, why didn’t I say yes to any of them? That’s just what I originally wanted, wasn’t it?

Instead, I treat their unwanted attentions like a headache, almost like I treated Caspian at the beginning. Except that I was wildly attracted to him right from the start, and he got under my skin like no one else. Again, I can’t stop thinking about him.

Anyway, my latest headache is Travis. He asked me out today.

“Why don’t you just go out with him?” asks Layla when I tell her about it.

“Are you nuts?” I gape at her. “He’s my friend, and I don’t feel that way about him. And don’t forget, we work together.”

I knew that he was interested in me, but I was hoping that he’d get over it. I don’t want to destroy our friendship or hurt him. Besides, I think Evelyn would chop my head off if I messed with her BFF.

“Then go out with Wyatt or what’s his name… You know, the one who doesn’t know when to quit?”

Wyatt is in my study group, and he’s quite persistent.

“You know Caspian is a lycan, right? Do you want an innocent human to die?”

I’ve been using that as an excuse not to go out with any of them. If I’m being truthful, the idea of going out with any other man simply doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest. Even considering it for a second feels wrong. Monogamy.

“Are you sure that’s the only reason you’ve been rejecting men left and right? I mean, he’s not here to know about it or to kill anybody,” she says with a mischievous grin.

“I think you should just go out with one of those ~normal human men~ just once…or twice. You know, just to get it out of your system?”

She makes air quotes with her fingers over the words normal human men.

“It seems to me like you’re hung up on this thing about being with ~normal human men~.” Again with the air quotes.

“That’s why you refused to let that gorgeous lycan god mark you, right? Maybe after you go out with a couple of them, you’ll see how exciting it is and decide once and for all that you’d really rather date a human and let that sexy lycan go…so that I can go after him myself.”

She sighs dreamily.

Oh, hell no! Just the thought of him being with someone else makes me want to rip everything around me apart. Layla gives me a sly smirk when she sees my frown.

“Hey, I’m just saying. It might help you make up your mind. That’s all.”

Actually, I’ve made up my mind. His absence convinces me that there really is no choice. I know what my heart, my body, and my soul want. I knew it before, but I was too stubborn to admit it.

Layla sighs. “Seriously, Quincy, I’m worried about you. You hardly eat anything and have barely slept since he left.”

“I’m fine.” No, I’m not, but I’m not going to admit it to anybody. I miss him so much. I’m counting the days till he gets back.

He’s supposed to be back by Thursday, but Thursday comes and goes, and I still haven’t heard from him. All day Monday I keep expecting to feel that warmth of his eyes on me and that crackling of energy in the air when he’s near.

I keep looking around for his tall figure and golden hair.

By Wednesday, I start to have doubts that he’s ever coming back. What if he realized that he doesn’t want me after all? What if one of the beautiful lycan princesses captures his attention and he’s with her now?

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay by yourself, Quincy?” asks Layla for the hundredth time. She’s been fussing over me lately. It’s Thursday afternoon, and she’s going back to visit her family and her pack today.

“I’m fine, Layla. You go home and have fun with your family. Stop worrying about me.”

“You know you’re welcome to my family home. My mom would love to fatten you up,” she says, also for the hundredth time.

“Nope, you go.” I shove her toward the door. “I appreciate that you’re concerned about me, and I love you for that.”

I give her a big hug. “But I really am fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I really am blessed to have Layla as a friend. Not many people ever worried about me before. I don’t want to intrude and be a burden to her family.

I know her father would have to ask permission from their alpha to have an outsider like me spending the night in their pack’s territory.

I wave Layla goodbye until her ride disappears from view. Then I stare into space wondering if he’s ever coming back.

Ugghhh. I can’t be this pathetic!