CH 53

53 – Can’t Bear to Cross-Dress, Can’t Win an Otaku’s Heart

Translator: tamago

Editor: Yin

Proofreader: Aaru

Xu Xiran felt uneasy.

He couldn’t sleep well for the next few nights.

Zou Shun’s words were something that he wasn’t able to ignore. He wondered if he had really gotten too close to Fang Mo during this period of time. This excessive intimacy has led to misunderstandings among the people around him, and at the same time, has also had some subtle influences on himself.

For instance, these days, while he lay in bed in the dead of night, he would sometimes accidentally start thinking about whether Fang Mo would really cry in that kind of moment.

Xu Xiran had seen what he looked like when his eyes turned red before.

Fang Mo’s skin was fair and delicate, so when the corners of his eyes were slightly red, it was especially obvious. In his dormitory on the day after he sprained his foot, he held back his sneeze for a long time, so his eyes were watery, and even the tip of his nose was slightly red.

Xu Xiran’s heart felt very itchy at the time and hoped that his teardrops would fall and wet his cheeks.

It was a pity that Fang Mo quickly wiped away all his tears with his sleeves. After that, his whole face even turned a little red.

Xu Xiran had a groundless belief that people with moles at the corners of their eyes love to cry and that tears made a person more alluring.

The rest of his common sense told him that it wasn’t normal to want to see his good brother cry.

Xu Xiran hugged his pillow and rolled around in bed. He thought that it must be because there had been too many people of the same sex who have had intentions for him over the years that his thinking has become seriously polluted, and that such strange thoughts would occasionally appear in his mind.

He had to stop.

If Fang Mo found out, he would really be pissed off.

~

Xu Xiran told himself that night that this must have something to do with his frequent contact with Fang Mo. He thought that maybe he should try to keep a little distance from him, which would be conducive to adjusting his mentality.

However, when Fang Mo asked him to have dinner with him the next day, he agreed without hesitation.

The two sat face to face in the dining hall. Fang Mo was clearly in a bad mood and kept his head down without saying a word.

Xu Xiran couldn’t help but feel worried.

“What’s wrong? What are you not happy about?” He asked, “Is it because of Zou Shun again?”

Fang Mo had an awkward expression and tone, and didn’t look at him as he spoke: “Did Zou Shun talk nonsense to you yesterday?”

Xu Xiran was stunned.

“…He was just teasing you, so don’t take it too seriously,” Fang Mo said.

He raised his head after he spoke. Before their eyes met, Xu Xiran hastily lowered his head.

“I know,” he said, “I told him to stop.”

After he said this, there was no sound from the other side.

The two ate quietly for a while, and the atmosphere was rarely this stiff.

Xu Xiran thought to himself, it’s over. Maybe Zou Shun’s random guess made Fang Mo also start to suspect him. What if he was really misunderstood? Would he be disgusted? Would he feel betrayed like how he felt in the past?  How am I able to fix this?

“Ai,” Xu Xiran let out a deliberately exaggerated sigh, “It must have been because I acted too flirty with you in front of him and it seemed too realistic.”

After he said this, he glanced at Fang Mo.

Fang Mo’s head was still down, and he was quietly chewing the tips of his chopsticks.

Xu Xiran continued: “But you know, that was only me pretending for a bit.”

Fang Mo nodded.

“Since we know that Zou Shun likes someone else, there’s no need to continue misleading him,” Xu Xiran said, “I’ll clarify with him next time I see him.”

Fang Mo finally said, “Whatever you want.”

Xu Xiran was a little flustered. It was particularly obvious whenever Fang Mo was upset. His expression or the tone of his voice could not be hidden at all. He was visibly in a bad mood. There seemed to be only one possibility for him to be dissatisfied with this topic.

“I swear I’m not like that,” Xu Xiran raised his hand and raised four fingers, “Don’t listen to his nonsense. My aesthetic orientation is Xiaoyao.”

Fang Mo glanced at him, then quickly lowered his head: “You’re sick, that’s none of my business.”

~

When he and Fang Mo were alone, the atmosphere was rarely this rigid.

This meal had no flavor, and Xu Xiran felt uncomfortable all over. After eating, the two packed up their tableware and as they walked back together, Xu Xiran answered the phone.

There had been some bad news from the members of the club. Seeing that the competition was about to begin, a member suddenly had an accident and was unable to take the stage. Because the role was very important and indispensable, and there were many scenes with this role in the entire performance, a substitute had to be quickly found.

“Do you know a girl that’s tall and cute?” Xu Xiran asked Fang Mo after hanging up the phone.

Fang Mo earnestly thought for a while: “I only know the ones in your club.”

Xu Xiran shook his head and sighed.

“It’s over. I only know those few girls as well,” he said.

“Who is it?” Fang Mo asked.

He was standing beside Xu Xiran and heard a little bit of the phone call, but couldn’t hear too clearly.

“Chang Tian,” Xu Xiran said, “This kid suddenly got chickenpox and has already left school and gone home by now.”

Fang Mo was a little surprised: “So it’s him?”

“That’s right,” Xu Xiran said, “He said he could contribute the wig and all the clothing. But after all, he is a boy, and the sizes are a bit too big for most girls.”

“I don’t think he’s that tall, is he?” Fang Mo was puzzled.

“That’s just an illusion from his small face,” Xu Xiran said, “Actually, he’s not much shorter than you, you…”

As he spoke, he suddenly stopped and then looked Fang Mo up and down a few times.

After being dazed for a while, Fang Mo suddenly became alert and stepped back slightly: “What do you want?”

“…Cosplay is very fun,” Xu Xiran said to him.

His expression and tone were sincere. He even took a step forward.

Fang Mo shook his head quickly: “No, no way!”

“You haven’t tried it before, so how would you know that you won’t like it?” Xu Xiran was persuasive, and the words he said sounded very familiar, “Try it, maybe you’ll love it.”

Fang Mo was very firm: “That’s impossible.”

“Have you ever heard of a saying,” Xu Xiran said, “Homophobia just means you’re deep in the closet.”

Fang Mo reacted violently, and took another step back abruptly: “What do you mean?!”

“The meaning is the same. Extreme resistance to cross-dressing means that you are actually longing for cross-dressing deep down in your heart. You are resisting your true self. I am afraid that when this door suddenly opens, there’ll be no stopping you. There is no one more suitable than you, and with you having seen them rehearse so many times, the process must be very clear to you, so you’re the chosen one.”

“You’re talking such nonsense…” Fang Mo didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, “How do I look anything like a girl? I’ll definitely look terrifying if I cross-dress.”

“You might not believe it when I say this,” Xu Xiran rubbed his hands and looked at him, “But Chang Tian doesn’t even look very feminine when he wears men’s clothing.”

Fang Mo was skeptical.

“You are a bit similar to him,” Xu Xiran reached out his hand and gestured, “Your shoulders are narrow for your height. Women’s clothing shouldn’t be too ill-fitting for you.”

Fang Mo wanted to laugh but also couldn’t bear this: “You have a lot of experience, don’t you?”

“Also, your cheeks here,” Xu Xiran reached out to try to touch his face, “it’s not like mine where they’re sharp and defined. Your jawline is very soft.”

He reached out his hand for a long time, but Fang Mo kept leaning back to dodge, and in the end, he still couldn’t reach his face. Recalling the awkwardness during their meal just now, Xu Xiran couldn’t help but overthink and felt a little depressed for a bit.

He couldn’t help but wonder if Fang Mo’s reluctance to help was also related to this. Did Fang Mo worry that he had ulterior motives for him and that he actually had inappropriate ideas for coaxing him into dressing up as a woman?

“But…” Fang Mo frowned, “I… I…”

He held back for a long time without giving a complete reason.

Xu Xiran felt that his guess might be true. This kind of thinking was really inconvenient to directly say out loud.

“Ai, if you really don’t want to then that’s fine,” he sighed shallowly, “I hope we can find other suitable candidates.”

Fang Mo wanted to say something, but in the end, remained silent.

~

“Don’t you think this is an opportunity?” Zou Shun urged Fang Mo on the phone, “His expression and tone yesterday showed he was clearly wavering. You can’t just listen to what he has said, you have to observe too, you understand?”

Fang Mo didn’t understand. Fang Mo also felt that Zou Shun probably didn’t understand either.

If Xu Xiran was really so observant and meticulous, how could he have lost his sweetheart and still not go and find him?

And if Zou Shun hadn’t gone to Xu Xiran yesterday to babble nonsense, he wouldn’t have been stabbed so many times for no reason today.

His little heart was still in pain.

“Also, that’s his favorite character, right?” Zou Shun continued to persuade, “Do you know the concept of emotional substitution? Maybe it can make him transfer his love for his goddess to you!”

“…Transfer what? He doesn’t have that kind of idea about Chang Tian,” Fang Mo sighed.

“Those are two different things,” Zou Shun said. “Is your importance to him comparable to that of other people?”

Whether it was true or not, it sounded pleasant to his ears.

Fang Mo felt awkward: “But…”

“Tell me, you have the nerve to trick me into participating in this kind of thing and yet you’re staying out of it yourself,” Zou Shun said again.

“You’re showing your true colors,” Fang Mo said, “You just aren’t reconciled and want to drag me into the water.”

“Where did you get that from? I just really think this is a good opportunity for you to give it a go,” Zou Shun said, his tone becoming more and more sneaky, “Don’t you want to try? If you dress up like Xiaoyao, walk by his side, lean on him, and then deliberately make a flirty move, how would he react?”

“…….”

Zou Shun continued: “Don’t you want to see him flustered at the sight of you, with his face all red and his heart beating fast?”

He wanted to.

Come to think of it, he was already looking forward to it.

“Then what if I don’t look good?” Fang Mo asked.

“Impossible,” Zou Shun said, “Have you ever seen Chang Tian in men’s clothing? He’s quite handsome. You have to believe in the advanced art of makeup, you understand?”

Fang Mo swallowed.

He sat cross-legged on the bed in the dormitory and glanced at the empty bed diagonally across from him.

At this moment, all of his roommates were out, but he only paid special attention to Liu Xiaochang. Reason being this guy was humming a song less than half an hour ago and told him with a content face that he would not come back tonight.

How enviable.

“You should give it a try,” Zou Shun urged again.

Fang Mo took a deep breath. Then he held the phone and earnestly nodded.

Yin: I’m scared where this will go, it doesn’t sound like it will end well. Or it will just be full of second-hand embarrassment (/ω＼)

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