19 | in which he becomes her anchor

'Let me take you somewhere,

Somewhere only we exist.'

.\.|./.

Ryan Falls

|in which he becomes her anchor|

The fear that flashed in her eyes moments ago has begun to subside. But the rage that soared through me only escalates.

I turn away from her, afraid I'm going to punch the image of that unknown man I have once seen but never met. The day I saw him whispering curses to her and glaring at her while she tried to calm him down, I knew he wasn't good for her. I didn't even know her back then and yet I could feel it in my bones. Some things are so obvious, you only have to look and see.

Now, I don't think I have ever hated anyone as much as I hate him. Okay, maybe I have. I hated that man who ruined my life and destroyed my sanity, turning me into a crumbling mess.

"Ryan?"

Her voice pierces into my heart, causing me to close my eyes and shift my expression before I look back at her. The uncertainty in her eyes, the defeat on her face, her slumped shoulders and pale face ... I don't want her to fear me like she fears him. I want her to see the difference. I want her to realize how he mistreats her and remember how she deserves to be treated.

No one deserves this.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" she mumbles, looking unsure of herself.

I force a smile, sighing unnoticeably.

"I'm hungry," I say, trying to stay the upbeat Ryan she has always seen.

She isn't fooled, though, watching me closely.

"You won't like what I want to say," I add, averting my gaze and beginning to limp back to bed. Telling her I want to murder the man who has scared her into obedience isn't an option.

This time Crystal sighs. "I just don't get you, Ryan."

I sit on the bed again, looking up at her and smiling.

"I don't get me either," I joke. "But I do get you. Cool, right?"

She doesn't speak, not arguing and not refusing to accept my very general assumption. I can tell she's got a lot going through her head, her eyebrows scrunched thoughtfully and body stiff. Her hair, which is pulled back in a long braid, falls on both sides of her face, making her look thinner than she is.

"Did you have lunch?" I ask her, wanting to pull her out of her thoughts. I don't want her to worry when she's around me. She shouldn't have to think about things with me.

She says nothing, taking a deep breath and making her way towards the door.

"I'll bring it," she mumbles before walking out without a backward glance.

I let my smile slide, staring unseeingly at the empty space she has left. There is so much that I want to ask her, and so much that I want her to know. Rushing things is not an option though. Healing takes time. So does moving on. She needs to see her own worth and not have me mumble it in her ears. She needs to go at her own pace and reach her own conclusions, not have me push her to think what she isn't ready to think yet.

Slow and steady wins the race, and I'm willing to be as slow as she needs.

.\.|./.

Olivia is with me when my leg cast is removed. Apparently, a part of my brain has forgotten I have a second leg and has decided that limping is how I'm supposed to walk, because it takes me a while to get back to normal.

She helps me walk out of the hospital room, even though I keep insisting she can let me go.

"I can walk, okay?" I keep repeating, but Olivia refuses to let me pull my own weight. I don't know whether to love her for how supportive she is or hate her for how stubborn. I settle on a mixture of both.

"Come to my house for dinner," she suggests.

I refuse nonetheless, thinking of Crystal, who has become my personal chef. She has diligently been bringing me varieties of home-cooked meals every day, and even when I tease her about it, she doesn't feel threatened. She has grown more at ease around me, sometimes laughing at my corny jokes, other times rolling her eyes and throwing back some cheeky comeback.

Honestly, though, just seeing the girl smile makes my day better, and if being a moronic goofball is what it takes to get her to forget about her tragic life, I don't mind one bit.

As soon as Olivia helps me back into my house, threatens to put me in a straightjacket if I do anything reckless, points an accusatory finger at me, and drives away, I do what I have been planning to do for over two weeks now. I visit Crystal.

She pulls open the door of her house, eyes wide in disbelief.

"You?" she asks, looking down at my leg which is finally free.

"Oh, yeah, baby!" I exclaim, throwing my arms open wide. My leg isn't really lifting my weight, though, and threatens to give out from underneath me.

Crystal reaches out and grabs my arm before I can fall off her front steps and break the fragile bones of my body once more.

How do I react? I laugh.

This just causes her to punch me in anger. "You really need to be more careful," she scolds, looking like Olivia all of a sudden.

"Why should I, when I have you to come to my rescue every time?" I tease.

Crystal scowls.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, frowning.

"Oh, so I can't just visit my very pretty neighbor slash chef slash friend?" I fold my arms across my chest.

She rolls her eyes.

"Seriously, though, I want to take you for a ride."

As expected, Crystal's face grows confused. The girl is an open book, I swear, her thoughts written across her face every time.

"A ride?" she repeats.

I nod quickly. "On my bike."

Crystal stares at me incredulously, clearly taken aback by my strange suggestion. I'm not kidding, though, having had this idea in mind for a while. That time I was with Crystal when she drove me to the hospital, I saw how relaxed she was after the initial moments of hesitance. It was probably the sheer beauty of life flickering in her eyes that had caused me to confess my suicidality to her. I need to see her like that again, hoping this time she would be the one to open up.

"Come on," I insist, holding out a hand for her to take.

Her initial disbelief begins to fade away, and she hurries back into her house, leaving me in the doorway and beaming. The excitement bubbling in my chest is something I haven't felt in a while, and I think she can feel it too, for she returns moments later, keys in hand.

"Where are we going?" she asks, slightly out of breath.

This time I don't offer her my hand. I reach out and take hers, smiling and staring straight into her crystal blue eyes.

"Somewhere only we exist."

My words hang in the air as Crystal quickly locks up and I lead her towards my small garage. I haven't seen my bike in over a month, ever since the accident, but the sight of it brings me the same kind of joy it always did.

Without giving her a chance to speak, I grab the helmet and place it on her head.

"Wait, what about you?" she retorts, and I ignore her.

Knowing that if my leg might refuse to obey the commands of my mind halfway through the ride, I'd rather have my head cracked open than hers.

I swing my good leg over the bike, leaning my weight on my healing leg, which shoots beams of pain coursing through my entire body. I ignore them, getting comfortable on the seat before indicating Crystal to follow.

"I've never been on a bike before," she warns me.

I've never been in love before, I want to answer.

Shaking my head at my own thoughts, I smile at Crystal. "You're safe with me."

I don't have to repeat my words twice, because her hand is already on my shoulder. She half-climbs, half-jumps onto the bike, her hands on my jacket.

"Good to go?" I ask.

She takes a moment to reply, shifting slightly. "Yeah."

"Hold on tight, okay?" I say as I rev the speed-bike to life.

"To what?" she says in my ears, as the noise of the bike's engine deafens both of us to everything but each other.

"To me, Crystal," I say, already high off the adrenaline coursing through my veins. My foot finds the accelerator, and I press on it, curling my hands tightly around the handle-bars.

"Hold on --"

She does.

"-- to me --"

I feel her hands through the thick fabric of my clothes, and smile.

"-- and let me be your anchor."

The bike is alive under me, flying out of the tiny garage space and zooming onto the road. All I feel is the rush, the thrill knocking every other thought out of my mind. The wind deafens me, blinds me, numbs me, singing in loud, melodious rhythms.

Nothing remains.

Nothing exists.

Nothing but the racing of the wind through my hair, the sense of control over this moment when I'm most alive, and the presence of Crystal's arms around me.

And I drive.

I race.

I run.

With her by my side.

To a place where only we exist.

.\.|./.

A/N: I swear to God, I love Ryan in this chapter most :D but that's just me. What about all of you?

I can't decide which quote to use here, because I have written two. 'Hold on to me and let me be your anchor', and 'to a place where only we exist'. Which one do you like better? Or do you hate both? Totally plausible and obviously acceptable <3