Bound by Honor: Chapter 15

A couple of weeks had passed and sex got better every time we did it. I had a feeling Luca was still holding back quite a bit but I didn’t mind. Sometimes I wondered if maybe he needed the gentle lovemaking as much as I did after all the stress he went through with the Bratva.

Lovemaking? No matter how much I tried to ignore my feelings, I knew I loved Luca. Maybe it was natural to fall in love with the person you were married to, the person you shared intimacy with. I wasn’t sure why I had fallen for Luca despite my best intentions before our marriage not to let him into my heart, I only knew that I had. I knew what men like Luca thought of love. I hadn’t told him about my feelings, even though a few times the words had been on the tip of my tongue after we’d lain in each other’s arms, sweaty and sated after sex. I knew Luca wouldn’t say it back and I didn’t want to make myself vulnerable like that.

I watched the sun set over New York from my position in the lounge chair on the roof terrace. Romero was inside, reading a sports magazine on the sofa. A few times I’d considered asking Luca to stop Romero’s constant presence. Nothing could happen to me in our penthouse but then I couldn’t go through with it. I would have felt more alone without Romero in the apartment, even if we didn’t talk all that much. Marianna only came in around lunch time to clean and prepare lunch and dinner, and Luca was gone most days. I still hadn’t met any of the women from the Familia for coffee. After Cosima’s betrayal I really wasn’t keen on meeting more of Luca’s family anyway.

My phone vibrated on the small table. I snatched it up, seeing Gianna’s name flash on the screen. Happiness burst in my chest. We had only talked this morning, but it wasn’t unusual for my sister to call more than once per day and I didn’t mind.

The moment I heard her voice, I sat up, my heart pounding in my chest like crazy.

“Aria,” she whispered, her voice thick with tears.

“Gianna, what happened? What’s going on? Are you hurt?”

“Father’s giving me to Matteo.”

I didn’t understand, couldn’t. “What do you mean he’s giving you to Matteo?” My voice shook and tears already burnt in my eyes as I listened to Gianna’s heart-wrenching sobs.

“Salvatore Vitiello spoke to Father and told him that Matteo wanted to marry me. And Father agreed!”

I couldn’t breathe. I’d worried that Matteo wouldn’t let Gianna get away with her rudeness toward him. He was a man who didn’t like to be refused, but how could Father have agreed? “Did Father say why? I don’t understand. I’m already in New York. He didn’t need to marry you off to the Familia too.”

I stood, couldn’t sit still anymore. I started pacing the roof, trying to calm my racing pulse with low breaths.

“I don’t know why. Maybe Father wants to punish me for saying what I think. He knows how much I despise our men, and how much I hate Matteo. He wants to see me suffer.”

I wanted to disagree but I wasn’t sure Gianna was wrong. Father thought women needed to be put in their place and what better way to do that with Gianna than bind her to a man like Matteo. Behind his grins lurked something dark and angry, and I had a feeling Gianna wouldn’t have the sense not to provoke him until he lost it.

“Oh, Gianna. I’m so sorry. Maybe I can tell Luca and he can change Matteo’s mind.”

“Aria, don’t be naïve. Luca knew all along. He’s Matteo’s brother and the future Capo. Something like that isn’t decided without him being involved.”

I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to accept it. Why hadn’t Luca told me about this? “When did they make the decision?”

“A few weeks ago, even before I came to visit.”

My heart clenched. Luca had slept with me, had made me trust him and love him and hadn’t bothered to tell me that my sister was being sold to his brother.

“I can’t believe him!” I whispered harshly. Romero was watching me through the windows, already getting up from the sofa. “I’m going to kill him. He knows how much I love you. He knows I wouldn’t have allowed it. I would have done anything to prevent the agreement.”

Gianna was silent on the other end. “Don’t get in trouble because of me. It’s too late anyway. New York and Chicago shook hands on it. It’s a made deal, and Matteo won’t let me out of his clutches.”

“I want to help you, but I don’t know how.”

“I love you, Aria. The only thing that stops me from cutting my wrists right now is the knowledge that my marriage to Matteo means I’ll live in New York with you.”

Fear crushed my heart. “Gianna, you are the strongest person I know. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. If you hurt yourself, I couldn’t live with myself.”

“You are much stronger than me, Aria. I have a big mouth and flashy bravado, but you are resilient. You married Luca, you live with a man like him. I don’t think I could have done it. I don’t think I can.”

“We’ll figure it out, Gianna.”

The elevator doors opened and Luca stepped into our apartment. His eyes darted from Romero to me, his brows drawing together.

“He’s here. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I hung up as fury burnt through me. I hadn’t thought I could ever hate Luca again, not even for a moment but in this second I wanted to hurt him. I stormed inside, my hands balled to fists as I headed toward Luca. He didn’t move a muscle, only watched me with calm scrutiny. That calm more than anything else fueled my rage. I wasn’t sure what he thought I was going to do, but it wasn’t attack that was obvious from his reaction. My fists hammered his chest as hard as I could. Shock flashed across Luca’s face, his entire body exploding with tension. From the corner of my eye I saw Romero take a step in our direction, obviously unsure if he was supposed to do something. He was my bodyguard but Luca was his boss. Of course, Luca didn’t have trouble handling me. After a moment, he gripped both of my wrists in his hand. I hated that he could overpower me so easily. “Aria, what—”

He didn’t get to finish because I rammed my knee upward and only his quick reflexes prevented me from hitting my goal. The sound of Gianna’s sobs rang in my mind, made me lose whatever rationality I had.

“Get out,” Luca ordered sharply. Romero did without protest. Luca’s blazing eyes met mine but I was past being scared. I would die for Gianna. I tried another kick and graced Luca’s groin this time. He snarled and pushed me down on the sofa, my legs pinned down by his knees and my arms pushed above my head. “For god’s sake, Aria. What’s gotten into you?”

I glared. “I know about Gianna and Matteo,” I spat, and then I lost it completely and I started crying, big gasping sobs raking my body. Luca released my wrists and sat back so I could move my legs. He regarded me like I was a creature he would never understand.

“That’s what this is about?” He sounded incredulous.

“Of course you don’t understand, because you never loved anyone more than your own life. You can’t possibly understand how it is to feel your own heart breaking at the thought of the person you love getting hurt. I would die for the people I love.”

His eyes were hard and cold as he stood. “You are right. I don’t understand.” The cold mask was back. I hadn’t seen it directed at me in weeks.

I wiped my eyes and stood as well. “Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve known for weeks.”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t like it.”

I shook my head. “You knew I’d be mad at you and you didn’t want to ruin your chances of fucking me.” I didn’t even blush, even though I never used the word.

Luca became rigid. “Of course I wanted to fuck you. But I got the impression you enjoyed our fucking sessions.”

I wanted to hurt him. He was so cold. Of course it had always been about taking what was his, about claiming my body. He didn’t give a shit about me, or anyone. “And you worried I wasn’t a good enough actress to fool everyone after our little trick in our wedding night. I even fooled you.” I let out an ugly laugh. “I made you believe I actually enjoyed it.”

Something flickered in Luca’s eyes, something that made me want to take back my words for a moment, but then his mouth pulled into a cruel smile. “Don’t lie to me. I’ve fucked enough whores to know an orgasm when I see one.”

I flinched as if he’d hit me. Had he just compared me to his whores? I said the ugliest thing I could think of. “Some woman even experience an orgasm when they’re being raped. It’s not because they’re enjoying it. It’s their body’s way of coping.”

For a long time Luca didn’t say anything. His nostrils flared and his chest heaved and his hands were clenched to fists. He looked like he wanted to kill me on the spot. Then the scariest thing happened, the anger slipped off his face. His expression became emotionless, his eyes as smooth and impenetrable as steel. “Your sister should be happy that Matteo wants her. Few men can stand her gab.”

“God that’s the reason, isn’t it?” I said in disgust. “It’s because she told him that he’d never get her hot body that day in the hotel. He didn’t like it. He couldn’t bear that she was immune to his creepy charm.”

“She shouldn’t have challenged him. Matteo is a determined hunter. He gets what he wants.” Still not a flicker of emotion, not even in Luca’s voice. It was like he was made from ice.

“He gets what he wants? It’s not hunting if he forces her into marriage by asking my father for her hand. That is cowardice.”

“It doesn’t matter. They’re getting married.” He turned his back to me, as if he was dismissing me.

Luca didn’t get it. He couldn’t. He didn’t know Gianna as well as I did. She wouldn’t go into this union quietly like I had. I stormed toward the elevator. “Aria, what the fuck are you doing?”

I was in the elevator before Luca could reach it and was on my way one floor down. I stepped out into Matteo’s apartment. It was basically a mirror image of our own, except that it wasn’t a duplex. Matteo had sat in an armchair, listening to some kind of crappy rap music when he saw me. He rose, eying me cautiously as he came toward me. “What are you doing here?”

I pushed my palms against his chest when he stopped in front of me. “Take your proposal back. Tell my father you don’t want Gianna.”

Matteo laughed. “Why would I? I want her. I always get what I was want. Gianna shouldn’t have played games with the big boys.”

I lost it and slapped him across the face. My stupid Italian temperament. I usually reigned it in, better than my other siblings at least, but not today. He gripped my arm, shoved me back so my spine collided painfully with the wall, and trapped me between it and his body. I gasped. “You are lucky that you are my brother’s wife.”

The elevator bling-ed as it stopped and opened. “Let her go,” Luca growled, stepping out. Matteo back away at once and gave me a cold smile.

Luca walked up to me, eyes scanning my body before facing his brother. “You won’t do that again.”

“Then teach her manners. I won’t let her hit me again.” Teach her manners? His marriage to Gianna would end in an utter catastrophe.

Luca’s voice dropped an octave. “You won’t touch my wife again, Matteo. You are my brother and I’d take a bullet for you, but if you do that again, you’ll have to live with the consequences.” They faced each other and for a moment I worried they’d pull knives and fight each other. That wasn’t what I’d intended. I knew how much Luca cared about his brother, more than he cared about me anyway. Matteo was the only person Luca trusted. For a while I’d thought I might be that person, but if that were the case, today would have gone very differently. I knew his protecting me was a power game and not about emotions. By touching me, Matteo had shown disrespect toward Luca and of course Luca couldn’t let that slide.

“I won’t hit you again, Matteo,” I ground out, though the words tasted foul in my mouth. “I shouldn’t have done it.”

Both men turned to me in surprise. Matteo relaxed his stance. Luca didn’t.

“I’m sorry if I hurt or scared you,” Matteo said. I couldn’t tell if he meant it or not. He had the emotionless mask down just like his brother.

“You didn’t.”

Luca smirked, then he stepped up to me and pulled me against him possessively. Our eyes met and as if he remembered our earlier words his smirk disappeared and his lips tightened. He didn’t release me but his hold on me loosened.

I turned away from him, not able to bear his expression any longer, and faced Matteo. “Don’t marry, Gianna,” I tried again, and Luca’s grip on my waist tightened in warning. I ignored him. “She doesn’t want to marry you.”

“You didn’t want to marry Luca either and here you are,” Matteo said with his shark grin.

“Gianna isn’t like me. She won’t come to terms with an arranged marriage.”

Luca dropped his hand from my waist.

“She will become my wife the moment she turns eighteen. No power in this universe will stop me from making her mine.”

“You disgust me. You all do,” I said. With that I stepped back into the elevator. Luca didn’t follow. He didn’t even watch me to see if I was returning to our apartment. He knew I wouldn’t go anywhere. Even if I still wanted to run, I couldn’t. My heart belonged to him even if he didn’t have a heart that he could give me in turn.