Twenty - Six

Love.

Scott had been wondering over the past hours about what love truly was. He knew he couldn't put it in words. The feeling it bought was inexplicable. There was no reason to know what it truly was, it was all about how you felt and the person who gave you that feeling. There was no reason understand the thing call love. Just feel it. Enjoy the warmth it bring. Let it move mountains and bring you fountains of happiness.

Scott knew you couldn't control that feeling. You can't choose who you love. It just happens. Which leads to Scott thinking about all the mistakes he made throughout his life as he stared through his window. The rain was down to drizzle as the darken clouds pass in the sky. It was raining a lot those past few days, just like Scott's heart. Today was no different.

He's made many mistake. Who doesn't? From the smallest things to life changing ones. From giving the wrong order to a customer or simply just sending the wrong text to the one person you didn't want to see it. Life brings everyone mistake the thing they all had to was learn from it. How many actually learnt from their mistakes?

Scott thought -- no, he knew he had learnt from the biggest mistake of his life. The one thing he regretted but it was inevitable. It was out of his control and that landed him in his current position. Sitting in his childhood bedroom being plunged further in a pit of unworthiness-- uselessness all due to his life choices. He knew he shouldn't regret receiving and giving love. There was good times and bad times. Much like how someone never sees the good in you, only the one bad thing you did amongst a great deal of good. The bad overshadowed the good.

Scott remembered the good times. The times he would whisper I love you and snuggle into his arm. Then he remembered the bad. The one thing that masked the beauty of it all. The one incident that strikes fear in his heart. Fear that he thought had left only to sneak up on him and whisper in his ears, 'Got you'.

Scott thought he knew him but what he knew was only a mask. All those smiles and words of love that gave Scott a hope for a loving future. He thought it was all a lie when he removed the beautifully carved mask he's known all this time. But it didn't felt fake, it all felt real. Like a tower came crashing down, that day and following night ruined everything.

When Scott woke up, he thought it was all a lie. He refused to believe it all. Reality was just too cruel. A part of him even still loved him despite his cruelness. Like a candle it was bound to burn out. Love became something that Scott didn't believe in anymore. Much like a kid who stopped believing in Santa Clause because he knew he wasn't real. Love became unreal for Scott. That was what he initial thought until he met the most amazing guy. A guy he loved so much that he would give his all to. Someone so precious and deserving that Scott thought he was unreal but he wasn't. Every kiss, touch, smile and words he said to Scott was real. There was no mask. Nothing to fear. So how did they end up here?

Broken hearts alike and tears that never seemed to stop. It all started when Scott moved back home like Carly said before. No, it started the moment Scott decided to leave this small town for something bigger. It started when he fell in love. When he got cheated on not only once. When Scott thought it was too much and ended it. When he said the three words that night in his car. The moment Scott saw the darkness clouding his grey eyes before he exited the car. It all started when he walked away and woke up in a hospital. It started because he fell in love. And it was happening again because he fell in love.

He fell in love with Elijah and he fell too deep. He broke his binding chains but the scar still remained. Scott ran but he was being chased. Elijah made him forget. Forget about the shitty things life had bought him. Gifted him with the memories of something unforgettable. He's able to get through. The memories of them both might be painful but when Scott remembers those moment in his hardest of times he could smile and say he was loved. He received the most beautiful love yet. For now all he could do was cry at those memories.

Everything was his fault. Guilt was beyond what he felt when he talked to Carly the previous day. Scott had yet made another grave mistake. If he had faced his demon instead of running with his tail between his legs. Mrs. Hampton would still be alive along with countless other. Elijah would never had to see him again and would move on with his fruitless love. No matter how hard he shook the thought. The weight he felt on his shoulders knowing that he was the cause of those persons death was unbearable.

Now he was risking Elijah's life because he loves him. Scott was starting to think that he shouldn't love again. All his love bought was pain. He was right Scott wasn't allowed to leave him. If he hadn't then none of this would've happened. No one would've been hurt-- no one would've died.

Love.

Scott loved Elijah. He feared if he gave him anymore of his cursed love he would break Elijah. Throughout all his heartache and frustration. His tears and battle with his demons. Scott's heart kept singing one song and that song was his love for Elijah. He was too much of a coward to protect that love. He was running away again.

He's ruined his relationship with Elijah and Maddie because of his own cowardice. Scott didn't know when the calls stopped. When his phone died and left in the corner. He didn't know the amount of times Elijah stopped by and he refused to see him. Scott didn't know when he stopped reading the letters he sent him. They were becoming more nerve racking each time he opened a new one. What Scott did know was that he didn't stop loving Elijah.

Scott wiped the tears from his eyes. The Hamptons house was now empty. They had moved from the wretched town like Scott had a few years ago. An image of the Hamptons living happily flashed through his mind. Guilt flooding in his heart. He forced himself away from the window. His room was cleared of most its mess. A box of tissue laying on his still unmade bed. Life just became too unlivable for him. Just when he started to live again.

His talk with Carly came back to mind when he saw the picture on his desk. His blonde hair tucked into a black cap and a devious smile on his lips. It was shocking Carly got such a clear shot of him and so much information. Scott had told her all about his accident and his reason behind coming home. As expected she connected all the dots quickly and pieced her puzzle together. She in turn told Scott about her countless stakeouts. How she talked with Mrs. Hamptons killer. How she went close enough to figure out why the recent rowdiness of the nameless gang. Only to be met with a new leader. Investigation on that leader bought her to Scott's front door, the source of it all. Turning the photograph on the back, Scott walked towards his bedroom door. He was going to get something to eat despite his lack of appetite. If he left his room only for d short time then it would ease his parents worries. As Scott closed the door behind him, his eyes met with Maddie has she exited her own room. She gave him a long stare but didn't say anything as she made way downstairs. Scott following suit. He headed into the direction of the kitchen as Maddie went to the living area. Scott was going to grab an apple when he remembered Elijah's apple pie. The very pie that could ease all his worries. He instead grabbed a banana and started towards the stair again.

"Are you feeling better" Gianna called out making Scott stop. "Maddie told me you were sick. With the recent weather I'm not surprised"

Scott looked towards his younger sister who was busy writing down something, "I'm feeling better" he lied, looking to the empty space by his mother. If she looked in his eyes she would know something was up. "Where's dad?" He asked despite his rush to get back to his room.

"He's out" Gianna relied, shaking her head lightly. "I told him not to go because it was bound to rain. But what do I know"

With nothing left to say due to Scott's lack of words these last few days. The light from a car flashed through the curtains making Scott think his father was back. Gianna lifted the curtains a bit to see out on the front yard, "it's just Elijah"

Scott felt his breath stuck in his throat. His heart pounding forceful against his chest. All he was building up was crashing down. Why couldn't Elijah just leave him alone. He was only making things more difficult for Scott. Maddie turned to look at Scott, worry in her eyes despite their recent dispute. Gianna dropped the curtains and looked up at Scott who tried to remain calm.

"Did something happen between you and Elijah?" She asked. "He's stopped by a few times and on each occasion you refused to meet him"

Scott was at a lost for words. Elijah was just beyond his front door. The light soon disappeared, the sound of a car door slamming. Scott didn't want to see Elijah. But he had to, if he didn't say it now then he would just keep having to go through the same painful routine each passing day. Scott took shakily steps towards the door. His hand trembling against the knob as he twisted it.

"Bring an umbrella" Gianna said.

"Scott!" Maddie called out.

He couldn't hear anything but his own heartbeat. The rain that was starting to downpour again. Opening the wooden frame separating them. Scott didn't have to look up to know that Elijah was shocked and relieved to see him. That he had stopped halfway up the walkway as Scott closed the door behind him. Scott bit the inward of his bottom lip hard as he met with blue eyes that he hadn't seen in awhile. His usually glasses hung on his face despite being fogged by droplets of rain. His black hair stuck to his forehead as a small smile formed on his lips.

Please don't smile.

Scott stood inches away from him. The rain soaking his clothes immediately. "Scott" Elijah spoke, removing his glasses from his face. His blue eyes sparkled with happiness from seeing the person he loved. "Scott I've missed you so much. I've been calling you and--"

"Elijah" Scott cut him off. Every inch of his body shaking. He'd missed the sound of Elijah's voice. Him just telling Scott how much he missed him was enough to have Scott wanting to run in his arms. "I-I don't ......you should....please don't" Scott could barely form his sentence. Each felt like a knife crazing his throat.

"Scott, what's wrong?" Elijah said, taking a step towards Scott.

Scott took a deep breath, closing his eyes and looking up at the darkened sky, "Y-You shouldn't come back here. Don't ever call me again" Scott stuttered, trying to hold back his tears.

"Did I do something wrong?" Elijah asked, his voice searching or an answer to fix whatever was happening.

Scott bit his bottom lip harder the taste of blood staining his tongue. It was so like Elijah to think it was his fault. It was all Scott and his cowardice ways.

"I think you should leave" Scott finally met back with his blue eyes that were now saddened.

"Scott whatever it is we can work through it. So please don't say that. Don't say I shouldn't see you again or I shouldn't call you. How could I do such a thing when I love you so much. I love you Scott"

"Well I didn't Elijah. I didn't love you. It was all fake. I felt sorry for you. My love for you was all a lie" Scott felt jolt of pain in his heart at his own words.

Elijah refused to believe him as he waited for Scott to jump at him and say 'Fooled you' but he didn't, "You don't mean that"

"I do, now leave" Scott said, prepared for Elijah to turn on his heels and go home. Instead he stormed towards Scott, cupping his cheeks. Scott felt the warmth from his hands despite the cold of the rain.

"Scott, please don't say that" Elijah said, searching Scotts eyes for something-- anything.

Elijah leaned inwards, wanting to feel Scott's lips against. Wanting all the pain between them to go away.

"D-Don't touch me" Scott yelled, pushing Elijah away. He stumbled backwards but gained his balance. "I said I didn't love you so leave Elijah. I don't want to see you ever again. There's nothing more between us"

Scott was glad it was raining so Elijah couldn't see the tears falling down his cheeks. It pained him a great deal to say all those words when he loved him so much. Mikey was right he had to end things before it was too late. Scott ran inside before Elijah could utter another word or before he could break any further. The slamming of the door caught Gianna's and Maddie's attention. Scott ran up the stairs as he heard someone following behind him presumable Maddie. His bedroom door didn't slam shut as he saw Maddie made way in through his blurry eyes.

Maddie took Scott I her arms. Cradling him as he cried, "I lost him Maddie. I lost Elijah"  he said between sobs.

"Everything is going to be okay"

That night Scott cried himself to sleep.