Chapter 62 Chapter 62

Leo refused to leave.

When I first woke up, it was clear I'd had some memory loss because

the longer I sat in that hospital bed, the more traumatic images began

to flood back in and the more grateful I was to have him right next to

me.

"Andrea forced me to watch Alessio be murdered,” I whispered after at

least an hour of silence. "And he ordered it because I refused to

apologise for being disrespectful to Luciano and he wanted to teach

me a lesson. His throat was slit and I don't think I'll ever get that image

out of my mind. I close my eyes and it's there. And the worst part is it

was my fault. I couldn't bring myself to submit and as a result, there are

two kids out there without a Dad. Can you imagine the guilt I face for

that?"

"You can not hold yourself accountable,” Leo said firmly. "The only

person responsible for Alessio’s death is Andrea Martinez. He wants

you to feel guilty to torture you psychologically. Don't let him get t

you."

I shook my head as I began to cry.

"All he wanted me to do was say one simple sorry to Luciano and I

wouldn't do it," I replied. "Why didn't I do it?"

"There is no point dwelling on it," Leo said. "Nothing can be changed.”

"Out of all the things he did, that was by far the worst. The pain of all

the times he hit, raped and beat me amounted together doesn't even

come close to it."

By this point, the tears were streaming.

"Alessio's family are receiving all the support they need,” I reassured.

"And he is respected as a good, loyal soldier willing to sacrifice himself

for his Luna and his pack. There were hundreds at his funeral.”

"But he's still dead.”

Leo nodded and squeezed my hand. He clearly didn't know how else to

comfort me.

"Come here," I said moving aside in the bed. "I'm cold and I miss your

cuddles.”

"Are you sure, Ella?" he asked. "I don't want to cross the line. Not with

everything you've been through.”

I nodded, "It's okay."

He smiled and climbed into the bed next to me. His arm wrapped

around me and I rested my head on his chest.

"You're freezing," he said pulling me in tighter.

"I want to sleep. You'll stay, won't you?" I asked.

"Of course,” he replied.

"Promise me I won't wake up and you'll be gone,” I added looking up

into his eyes.

"I promise.”

I nodded and laid my head back down.

It was ages before I could actually sleep. With so many thoughts and

memories, it's hard for your mind to slip into rest.

The Doctor had prescribed me some sleeping pills but I wasn't allowed

to take them until my strength had improved. So I just lay there until

my dreadful thoughts became dreadful nightmares.

I was running through the jungle, the branches and vines slashing my

skin, making me bleed all over my body. My hands and clothes were

red with it but I just kept looking back. There was nobody there.

Nobody behind me, nobody in sight, nobody to be heard. But still, I ran

on, fighting through the dense jungle until I reached a clearing.

The sky was blue and the warm sun seemed to soothe me. For a brief

moment, everything seemed okay. So I lay down and let myself breathe

as I watched the fluffy clouds pass over.

But then a black shadow leapt out of the trees. It bounded up to me

and I tried to scramble away but it was too late. It had me and-

"Ella," I heard Leo's voice say. "Ella, wake up.”

I opened my eyes and sat sharp upright.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Your heart rate went crazy for a second.”

His eyes were wide and concerned. I swallowed and nodded.

"I was having a nightmare. They're relentless, Leo. Every time I try to

sleep.”

He brought me into a hug, "It won't be like this forever. Remember that.

What seems relentless won't be."

I clutched his shirt in my fingers and nodded again.

The next day, Leo left for an hour or two to do the school run and see

our kids and when he returned he had an armful of paint cans.

"What colour would you like the walls of this fine chamber, my lady?"

he asked with a wide smile. "I've got forest green, fuschia, orchid purple

or ocean blue.”

"They all sound equally pretentious so may I take all four, my Lord?" I

asked.

"Whatever you wish, you shall have,” he replied with a low bow.

For the entire morning, Leo stood painting all four walls and the ceiling

of the hospital room. There were spots, zigzags, flowers, swirls and

stripes. I smiled in delight at his artistry and also at the amount of paint

in his hair and on his face.

"Do you like it?" he asked, stepping back to look at his work.

"I love it," I replied. "And anybody who uses this room after me will

have no choice but to love it too."

At that point, a doctor walked in.

"Oh wow," she said, immediately pausing as the colour met her eyes.

"It's so...bright.”

She then looked to Leo and then to the paintbrush in his hand.

"I had no idea you were so artistic Alpha,” she added.

He rolled his eyes.

"I have many hidden talents,” he replied.

"Well you ought to open a window," she said, sternly, "You don't want

your Luna suffocating from paint fumes.”

She was an older woman and she seemed to be scolding him. That,

along with Leo's quickness to obey, made me laugh.

"You're chipper this morning, Luna," she said turning to me. "Do you

mind if I check your vitals?"

I shook my head.

She took my heart rate, blood pressure, lung capacity and temperature

but scribbling something down on her clipboard. I noticed Leo peering

over to see what she'd written.

"You're still weak and need to stay in that bed," she said. "But there's

more colour in your cheeks and life in your eyes. You'll be better before

you know it."

"And the sleeping pills?" Leo asked. "When can she have them?"

"Not yet,” she said. "A few more days perhaps. But for now, she can

have these.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a bottle full of pills which

she handed to Leo.

"One in the morning, one at night,” she said. "They'll keep your mind

off it whilst your awake at least but you might not feel quite yourself.

It's your choice to use them or not, Luna.”

Leo nodded and she left.

"What are they?" I asked.

"Benzodiazepines," he replied reading the bottle. "Reduce feelings of

severe distress by inducing emotional numbness. Then there's a long

list of side effects..."

I shook my head.

"No, I didn't get you to paint the walls so bright and loud just to numb

myself with some pills. I need to feel in order to heal," I replied. "It'll be

painful but I'll get through.”

I then nodded confidentally and wiped away an escaping tear instantly.

Leo nodded, "I'll leave them here in case you change your mind and it

gets to much,” he said putting them on the shelf. "But I think you've

made the right choice.”

I nodded, staring at the wall. The bottle was in the corner of my eye.

Just a few of them and I could escape Andrea just for a few hours

"Ella?" Leo asked.

I looked up to him and forced a smile, "Yes, I think so too. But shouldn't

you be going?" I asked looking at the clock on the wall. "School ends in

an hour and sometimes Silas's class gets let out early and Francesca

and Marie like to wave to you as you wait so if you're not there, they

won't-"

"Okay, okay," he said. "I'm going."

I smiled and after kissing me on the head he left leaving me alone in

the room with nothing but multicoloured walls, some beeping

machines and a bottle of pills on the shelf.