Chapter 139

139- Seduce and shrug–off Apparently I was wrong. I’ve been walking around Bellamy’s room for the last five minutes wearing his shirt and the smallest shorts I could find among my stuff, barely more than underwear, and he hasn’t given me more than a passing glance. Seriously, how is this not enough of a hint for him? What else am I supposed to do? Make a banner? Rent a blimp? Tattoo it across my forehead? Bellamy is just casually leaning back against the headboard of the bed, legs crossed over each other, the blankets pulled up over his legs, reading. I’ve wandered around, brushed my teeth, combed out my hair. I even spent an unnecessary amount of time fussing with some of my pillows, like I care if they’re all straight when they’re scattered all over the bed anyway. But he remains focussed on his book. Well it had better be damn interesting because my legs are freezing walking around like this. I eventually give up before I make a total fool of myself and climb into bed. Maybe I’ll read an ebook on my phone or something. Bellamy’s phone vibrates on the bedside table. His eyes dart up from his page then back down.

“Do you mind checking that for me?” he asks casually. I shrug, sure why not? I grab hist phone and press random buttons until the screen lights up. Oh. I wasn’t expecting that. His lock screen is set to one of the pictures we took together, the one where he surprised me with a k*ss on the cheek. The photo is admittedly kind of adorable, even if I DO look like a deer in headlights.

“Ry? The message? Who is it from?” Bellamy prompts. Oh, I totally got sidetracked and forgot why I picked up his phone.

“Uh, the message is from Alex. Something about how he located the documents you requested?” I read out. Bellamy nods.

“Cool, no problem. I’ll answer that in the morning, it can wait. Thanks.” He turns his attention back to his book. I let my eyes linger on his phone screen a little longer before putting it back. I feel a sudden need to change my phone screen. But I don’t want to use the same photo as him, that would just be copying. I wonder if I can get more anywhere else. Megan might have some in the engagement party pictures, but would it be weird if I asked about those? Everything ended badly, but at least I know that, due to Megan’s efforts and the dress Bellamy paid for, I, looked good that night. So the pictures might be nice and who knows when I’ll have the chance to get all dolled up like that again. I send Megan a quick text.

Ryann- Hey Megan, random question. Do you have any pictures of Bellamy and 1? I’m realising I don’t really have much…

There, nice and vague so that if she wants to ignore the existence of the engagement party pictures she totally can. She responds quickly.

Megan- I’m not totally sure. I might have some from the photographer at my engagement party. I can look through them.

Ryann- Are you sure? You don’t have to if it’s going to be stressful for you. Or I could look through them with you if you don’t want to do it alone?

Megan- I’m sure. I think this is something I want to do myself. I’m trying to think of the bright sides. We had an awesome day together getting ready, and I had a nice time at the party. Sure the relationship and wedding might have gone wrong, but it was still a great night. Besides, I’m slowly realising that calling off the wedding was definitely the right choice. I’m hurt and I was betrayed, but I don’t think I’m heartbroken. I’ll go through the pictures later and if I can’t handle it, I’ll let you know.

Ryann- Okay, but please don’t traumatise yourself or anything.

Megan- LOL Yeah I promise.

I close my chat with Megan and realise that I have a dozen or so missed texts in the Cock Tales chat. I open it to the most recent one.

COCK TALES Harry- Hey, where is Ry, why isn’t she answering?

Amber- Assuming I have the day right, Ry and Bellamy are either fighting or making up right now and I’m not totally sure which. Best not to get in the middle of either one I’d think…

Ryann- Actually, we’ve already finished making up.

Harry- TMI!!!! I’m totally kidding, tell me more Ryann- Not make up like that!!!

As always Harry is the dirty minded one, although if Bellamy wasn’t being so oblivious and actually made a move, it probably wouldn’t be totally inaccurate… Megan adds to the chat..

Megan- Harry, you might be a creep, but that’s my brother you’re talking about. Definitely TMI for me.

Harry- Rolling my eyes. How did I end up with such prudish friends?

Amber- Because you think anyone who won’t sleep with you is prudish. And if any of us slept with you we would never hear from you again.

Harry–Ouch, harsh. I’m way more classy than that. I would call… probably.

Megan- Hey we aren’t judging dude. As long as all parties are consenting adults who know what they’re getting into, we don’t care if you call women back or not.

Ryann- Seconded.

Amber- I haven’t actually properly met you Harry, but I trust the others.

Megan- Actually, I haven’t properly met him either. We should probably do something about that…

Harry- 100% We need an ‘introducing the Incubus‘ party!

Ryann-…. Dude.

Megan- That was pretty lame Harry.

Harry–Okay fine. Spoil sports. Either way, we should all meet up soon.

Amber- I foresee scheduling issues…

ax Ryann- Like a vision?

Amber- No, more like the other supervisor is off sick and I’m picking up the slack. Working a lot of doubles….

Megan- Ewww, that sucks.

Harry- Damn Ryann You poor thing.

Megan- Our schedules won’t be any easier Ry. Bels still has us on lockdown, remember?

Ryann- Good point. I’ll talk to him about it and get back to you.

Ryann- But maybe tomorrow? We’ve bickered enough for today…

Amber- Fair With that done, I plug my phone into charge and settle into the pillows to relax. I figure I have time to work on my meditation a little more before I go to sleep. I didn’t work on it today like I usually would. I was too emotional, I knew it would never work out. I go through my steps to relaxing and calming practised so much lately. When I’elf. They’re becoming pretty routine at this point, I’ve in the right state of mind, I focus on Kiara. I try and include all the things I know about her. I think about the mark she has, the colour of her hair and the grey of her eyes. I remember how small and delicate she is. I picture the pyjamas she has been wearing this whole time. I keep at this until I have an incredibly detailed mental picture of her, but that’s all it is. A picture. It’s not a vision like I’m aiming for. But I’m close, I know I’m close. I can feel an edge of coldness that I know isn’t me. My eyes burn like I’ve been crying and my heart starts beating fast, even though I’m relaxed in bed. After a few minutes of this, I sigh and open my eyes. I’m so close, I just know it. I can sense her but I can’t quite follow through with the connection. I need a little more information. Hopefully whatever the registration office tells me will be enough.

presence, “No luck again?” Bellamy confirms, closing and dropping his book onto the bed. I shake my head wearily.

“I’m getting better, but no success yet.” I let out yet another deep sigh.

139- Seduce and shrug–off “You’ll get there. This can’t be an easy skill to master. In the meantime, at least you can see her when you sleep? Although I can’t say I’m a fan of your interrupted rest.” He grumbles and I give a small smile.

“I suppose. Speaking of sleep, I’m exhausted.” I inform him. He nods his agreement.

“Same, emotions are exhausting.” He opens his arms to me and I flick the lamp off then crawl into his embrace, both eagerly awaiting and slightly dreading the dreams I’m sure are coming.