Chapter 171

Strings of Fate 171- Perfume and progress My dream or vision or whatever it is, somehow is exactly the same as all the others and completely different at the same time. It’s the same because I watch Kiara sleep, I can see her nightmares and pain and it’s the same because no matter how much I scream and struggle, no matter how hard I focus, she can’t seem to hear me, although for once I think I might be able to hear her. It’s different because I know I CAN talk to her which somehow makes my inability to actually communicate a hundred times more frustrating. I have a feeling that I won’t be able to contact her while I’m asleep. Maybe my unconscious mind isn’t capable of it or something because I feel less connected too. Maybe it only works when I’m awake and actively searching and connecting to her as opposed to when I’m asleep and don’t really have a choice in the matter. Or maybe I’m just doing this wrong. It’s not like I have a manual or anything. I don’t know how long I spend mentally yelling at Kiara, trying to get her attention.

Eventually I move on to what is probably really creepy staring, or it would be if I was actually there any anyone actually knew I was watching. I’m near giving up entirely when a nightmare causes Kiara to jerk awake, tears in her eyes. She looks around wildly and she must be alone because her shoulders relax and the tears get heavier. My heart absolutely aches. After a while, her tears dry up and her voice is hoarse when she whispers.

“Hello? Lady? I don’t know if you’re really real or not. I probably made you up. But I hope you’re real. It was nice to hear someone say my name instead of calling me ‘girl‘ or other names that my mum says I’m definitely not allowed to say.” She sighs deeply.

“I’m probably just talking to myself. You’re probably not real.” Kiara looks so downtrodden that I just have to say something. I NEED to talk to her. I use every bit of focus, every bit of determination and every bit of affection that I have for this child and concentrate on communicating just one word with her.

I chant it over and over in my head, I scream it, spell it, picture how it looks written down. Finally I whisper it and somehow, that last one makes it through. Hey eyes open wide and for the first time since I began seeing her I see a glimpse of hope on her face as she hears me.

She whispers my own message back to me.

“Real.”

Once again, I don’t manage to hold the connection for long after communicating with her. I’m starting to think that it wasn’t shock that pushed me out of it last time, but exhaustion, or maybe depletion would be a better word. I lie in bed, curled up with Bellamy and my eyes are still shut. I’ve been sleeping so you would think I would feel at least a little rested, but I just feel empty. My head aches and somehow I’m more tired than I was before going to bed, which is really saying something because I was pretty damn tired. I force my eyes open a crack and I can see that it’s still dark. My eyes adjust a little and I can see the outline of Bellamy’s arm thrown over my waist. I don’t really know if I’m trying to wake him or if I just want the comfort of the contact, but I wriggle around a little until my arm is freed from under me and I lightly grip his hand. Bellamy stirs, snuggles in closer to me and wraps his arms tighter around me. His hand squeezes mine and for a second I think he’s woken, but his steady breathing tells me otherwise. Still, that little movement from him was enough to ground me and it feels like only moments until my eyes fall shut and I finally get to sleep.

In the morning the other Alphas come for the meeting that Bellamy called. As they arrive, I’m hiding in the kitchen. Okay, well not HIDING exactly. More like I’m just trying to stay out of the way. While I’m sure they’re at least vaguely aware of the (completely accurate) rumours of Bellamy having a house guest, but after my previous interactions with them, particularly with the Canine and Avian Alphas, I don’t really want to deal with them right now unless I have to. I blush a little as I think about how Bellamy k*ssed me before answering the door saying it was for luck. I did ask if I should be worried that they’re going to be able to scent that he and I have been close, but apparently I smell different to the last time they met me?!! Lask Megan who comes to hang out with me in the kitchen. She tilts her head curiously then without hesitation, leans in and sniffs my hair. Okay….

171–Perfume and progress “Huh, he’s right. It has changed. I mean, your own scent is the same, but before I could also smell your work, your old place, stuff like that. Now I mostly smell… well… Bellamy and here. This place, a little of my own scent too.” She explains. I scrunch up my nose. That sounds… kind of weird. Megan giggles.

“It’s not as weird as it’sounds. It’s just that your environment rubs off on you. So while you have your own natural scent, it’s going to be influenced by stuff like the soaps you use, the place you sleep, who you sleep with.” She winks at me and I roll my eyes at her.

“Still sounds kind of creepy.” I complain.

“Nah, just think of your environment and the people around you as your own personal perfume. It doesn’t change what you smell like, just adds to it. Bels probably has some of your scent too. This house is also slowly adjusting. I know it might sound odd but it’s normal for us.” She explains, “Okay, but Bellamy said that the other Alphas probably wouldn’t notice my scent on him or wouldn’t know it.” I point out. Megan shrugs.

“Sure, your scent isn’t as strong. Probably because you’ve moved here and it’s mostly his scent and mine so it rubs off more on you. The longer you’re here the more balanced it will get. Either way, I doubt they’ll recognise it. They might know that he has been spending time with SOMEONE but they can’t prove anything, for all they know, he just changed products or something. Without comparing it to you they wouldn’t know it was you they’re smelling. Just don’t get too close to them and you’re all good.” She promises. Okay. I’m doing my best to understand this but it’s still kind of odd.

I’m kind of surprised to hear someone at the front door. All the Alphas are here already and I’ve definitely noticed that none of the Shifters tend to stop by here without an appointment. At very least they usually call ahead. Megan flushes red and she gestures for me to stay where I am while she answers the door. A minute later she returns to the kitchen, Darrien in tow.

“Morning.” I greet him cheerfully. He stares at me suspiciously.

“What?” I demand. He shakes his head.

“I’m just wondering if you’re possessed or swapped places with an identical twin or something. The Ryann I know. would never be so cheerful this early in the morning.” He jokes, I roll my eyes.

“Ha ha, so funny. If you must know, my sleep hasn’t been particularly restful recently. It sort of ruins the appeal of sleeping late and lounging in bed. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to my usual cranky self in no time.”

I promise. Darrien and Megan end up heading upstairs. Darrien makes some warning about not spying on the Alphas, but honestly I suspect he meant it more to goad me into spying than to actually stop me.

And that’s how I find myself hovering by Bellamy’s office door. I want to hear what they think about the murders now that Shifters are being killed. I lean in close to the door to hear better and I’m both alarmed and disturbed to discover they aren’t discussing the killings at all. Nope, once again, the Alphas are pestering Bellamy about finding a mate.