Chapter 217

217- Routine and rigidity Over the next week, we all settle into a mostly comfortable routine. We all work during the day, myself and Bellamy on managing the Shifters and Megan works on finishing her final assignments and planning her future business. Darrien spends most of his time helping Megan or hanging out with Kiara.

We’ve decided to wait for the new school year to send her back. Partly because she’s missed so much it just makes more sense that way, and partly because she has been through so much we don’t want to rush her. No, her only job right now is just to heal and recover. She still isn’t really talking. Just an occasional word here or there. She hasn’t done much this week but we’ve discovered she enjoys reading and we made plans for a playdate with her and Logan on the weekend that I believe she is looking forward to. Since the work Bellamy and I do each day does vary, the most consistent part of our routine is the evenings. We all try to have dinner together as a family, the five of us. Then after dinner Kiara will get ready for bed and at eight on the dot Bellamy and I go up to say goodnight to her. She is very consistent and seems to enjoy routine. We didn’t even set her a bedtime, although we probably should have. No, apparently she always went to bed at eight before so she just naturally started doing it now.

It’s Friday night and about five minutes to eight. Bellamy is on a phone call sosture to him that I’m heading upstairs to ch*ck on Kiara and he mouths to me that he will follow in a minute. I find Kiara in the bathroom brushing her teeth. She startles as I walk in. She does that a lot these days and I can’t say I blame her. In her shock, she whirls around and elbows a porcelain soap dish off of the counter and onto the floor where it cracks and breaks into two pieces. Her big eyes widen even more than usual and she looks horrified. I wave it off.

“No harm done.” I tell her, carefully picking up the pieces and dropping them in a bin. I ch*ck the floor for splinters but it seems to have broken cleanly. Kiara finishes with her teeth but she still looks tense.

She shuffles down the hall to her bedroom, keeping her eyes on the floor. Her room has had a bit of a makeover this last week, we’re still working on it but rather than a pretty, but generic looking guestroom, it now looks like a girl’s room. There is an increasing amount of pink and purple throughout the room and already she is building up possessions. Mostly because every adult who enters this house seems to bring back gifts.

Myself included. Still, standing in the doorway something looks off about it. It tak me a moment to realise what it is. The room is just TOO clean. Too tidy. I mean Kiara doesn’t appear to be a very messy child, but she is still a nine year old girl. There should be some sign of her spending time here. But there isn’t. The bed is perfectly made, the toys perfectly arranged. It all makes for a bit of a ‘show home‘ type feeling. I fight a frown, not wanting a 217- Routine and rigidity Kiara to think I’m upset with her.

“Into bed sweetheart.” I prompt, pulling back the covers. She scrambles into bed and I gently pull the covers over her. I’m about to tuck her in and say goodnight when I see tears running down her cheeks.

“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” I ask, ducking my head to see her face better. I didn’t really. expect Kiara to answer me out loud since she still doesn’t do that much, but to my surprise she does.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break anything.” She sniffles.

“Sweetheart, it’s alright. I know it was an accident. I’m not mad. No one is angry with you!” I grab her hand and squeeze it, trying to reassure her. She continues to cry and she seems almost scared.

Actually scratch that, she is scared. One look around this room and I can suddenly see what the issue is. She is scared that if she does something wrong, says something wrong or causes us any trouble, she is going to be sent away. It breaks my heart that she feels that way and I struggle to find words to tell her.

“This is your home now. We don’t expect you to be perfect all the time. I’m certainly not perfect. None of us are.” I tell her gently. She continues to cry and shakes her head.

“D- daddy told me that my family will always take care of me. Even when I mess up. But I don’t have a family anymore.” She lowers her tear stained eyes to her lap where she is clutching the blankets. Fluh, it seems like I’ve stumbled onto a pre–existing case of anxiety. Something from before she was kidnapped. I guess that makes sense, she is a very orderly kid. I’m very careful with my next words.

“Did you know that I didn’t have parents growing up?” I start. Kiara’s eyes fly up to mine. I nod slowly.

“I was even younger than you. I never even met my parents. I grew up in group homes. My magic is unusual so they never really knew what to do with me. I spent a long time being sad about it.

Sometimes even angry. I thought life was unfair because I didn’t have a family like everyone else did.

But I realised something recently. I didn’t have a normal family, but I did make myself a new one. I just didn’t realise it at the time. Harry is like my annoying big brother. He also doesn’t have any parents you know? He and I were each other’s family when 217- Routine and rigidity we were little. Then when I was older I met Maggie and Logan and they became my family too. Now I have Bellamy and Megan, Darrien, Aaron and all the others. And of course I have you.” I pause and I can see that Kiara looks thoughtful, she is listening so I continue.

“I can’t bring back the family I lost. I’m still sad about it sometimes too. I don’t know what life would have been like if I got to keep them. But I made myself a new family and I love them all so, so much.

You can do that too. I know it hurts that your parents are gone, and it will probably always hurt at least a bit. But you can still be happy. You can choose to love people and to make them your family. I can’t replace your mum or dad. But if you let me, I would like to be part of your family. So would all the others. We all care about you and want you to be happy. There’s no need to hold back. We’re not going to get upset and kick you out or stop loving you. I’m sure there will be times when someone hasn’t had their morning coffee and they get grumpy and I bet there will be times when you get grumpy with us too. But it won’t change anything.” I promise her.

“There is nothing you could do to make us send you away.” I tell her. Kiara’s face falls and in a small voice she answers.

“But I think there is.”

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