Chapter 297
Strings of Fate
Strings of Fate Cam 54- Interest and intention I try to be patient, I really do. But Iâve been waiting all week to see Harry and now heâs just standing there and not saying anything. He looks completely miserable. If heâs so unhappy why doesnât he do something about it? He looks like he has something that he wants to say so why isnât he talking? Heâs never been one to hold his words back before, and I just made a total fool of myself pouring my heart out to him. Is it really so hard for him to just talk to me? I lose my patience.
âStop holding back and just ask me your question. Whatever it is you want from me, whatever you want to know, just ASK!â My words are demanding but my tone makes it sound more like Iâm begging. I canât quite bring myself to care.
âYou really want to know what I wantâ¦â Harry starts. His voice is agitated and he runs a hand through his hair, shoving his hood back as he does. He takes a step towards me. Iâm standing on the top of the little stairs leading up to my home and heâs at the bottom but heâs so much taller than me that it actually makes us about eye level.
âI want to know if I can love you. If you will actually let me.â His words come out in a single burst, like heâs been holding them in for too long. As soon as he says them, his shoulders slump and his eyes drop to the ground again. I donât understand what heâs asking.
âI donât understand. Shouldnât you be asking if I love you? Youâve told me in the past thatâs what you want. Is it not true anymore?â I try to understand what heâs telling me but I donât know what he wants anymore. Harry straightens his shoulders and his stunning blue eyes stare into mine. I can feel his magic pushing through me leaving me with weak knees and a desperate need to throw myself at him and kiss him silly. I resist the urge, but only because Iâm not totally sure thatâs actually what he wants. I might be misinterpreting things.
âNo, Iâm not asking if you love me, Iâm not sure if you ever will. But Iâve been thinking these last few days. I thought the worst thing would be that you might never want me, but itâs not. Being away from you was the worst thing. Only seeing your smile in pictures and having to imagine how you sound when you compl hout customers or get excited about a potionâ¦
it was horrible. I tried to stay away, I promised myself that I would. That I would get over you and move on because there is no point wasting my life on someone who wonât even trust me.
But I canât do it and I donât want to anymore. Iâve thought about it a lot and in every relationship there is always someone who cares more, so it might as well be me. I canât stop 04:
ist and how Iâm feeling or change what I want. But thatâs no reason to throw away what I DO have. So, Iâm just hoping youâll let me love you, regardless of our actual relationship, and Iâll just have to hope that one day you might actually grow to want me back the same way I want you.â He barely pauses before continuing. Now that heâs started talking itâs like his words. wonât stop flowing.
âItâs strange that the only person Iâve ever REALLY wanted is the only one my magic seems to do nothing to. Itâs forced me to take my time and actually get to know you and learn what you like. I never thought I would enjoy it so much but I do.â He sighs wistfully and I stare. Hold up.
heâs asking⦠what exactly? If he can just be my friend? I donât want to just be his friend! And has he seriously still not realised what his magic has been doing to me all these months? For a guy who is meant to be an expert on seducing women, heâs really not very good at reading the signs. I think itâs probably about time I just spell it out for him. Iâm sick of all the misunderstandings. Iâll tell him the complete truth about everything, then he can decide what he actually wants without any confusion about how I feel.
âOkay. Well I fully intend to answer your question. But before I do, I feel like there are a few facts I need to make clear to you. First⦠your magic DOES affect me. Like a lot. Iâve been half out of my mind for months now.â I start. Harryâs eyes fly open in surprise.
âBut⦠That canât be right. Iâve seen how my magic affects people, and thatâs people I was only kind of interested in. If you were fee the effects of my magic and how much I wanted you⦠I donât think itâs possible that you would have rejected me for so long. You would have invited me to your bed ages ago. Iâd give basically anything if it meant I could have you and I canât see how you could possibly feel that way and not act on it. The only thing stopping me was the knowledge that YOU didnât want me. But you wouldnât have had that issue!â He argues. I sigh.
âI told you before, at first I thought that you only wanted me physically and I wasnât willing to give myself up like that. Then once I realised you wanted more than that I knew I cared way too much to give in and be with you that way.â I insist. Harry frowns and throws his hands into the air.
Ðог âThat doesnât make any sense! Why would caring mean you CANâT be with me? Shouldnât it mean the opposite? Why wouldnât you just accept me?â He demands. Iâm quiet when I answer.
âBut⦠If I give in⦠eventually youâll leave me for good. Iâve thought about it and Iâve Cam 54- Interest and intention concluded there is no reason for you to really love me. You probably only want me so much because I keep saying no.â I confess and it hurts. Iâm basically admitting that I donât think Iâm good enough for him. Harry is speechless for a moment before he answers. His voice is gentle, I suspect he knows Iâm about two seconds away from crying.
âBut⦠Iâve been telling you this whole time that weâre meant to be together. That itâs inevitable. I meant it.â He insists.
âYeah, I know you think that. Because your friend sees relationships that are fated to happen or whatever. But what about after? Just because a relationship is fated to happen doesnât mean itâs fated to last.â I start to cry. Just a few tears but my frustration is leaking through. Harry reaches out and wipes the tears away, then drops his hands to my shoulders.
âCam⦠there is no after. I never meant for you to think of it that way. When I said I wanted us to be together, I mean forever. Not just for a night or a few weeks. Ryann sees relationships that are fated to happen because theyâre perfect for each other. When I told you we are meant to be together I mean weâre inevitable, like fate has chosen you for me and me for you and if you decide you donât want me I am still never going to move on because anyone else would just be a cheap imitation of what it is I really want.â His words are firm.
but gentle. I can barely breathe. He really wants me forever? If thatâs true then I have no reason to hold back. No reason to worry. I still find it hard to believe, but I want it to be true so much that Iâm willing to trust him and believe it. With my words stuck in my throat I throw myself at him in a hug, my arms around his neck since I can actually reach for once. I finally find my words.
âI love you. I really really love you. So, so much. Please love me.â I plead. Harry pulls back to look at my face and when he realises I mean it he breaks out in the most beautiful smile. He pulls me back in and kisses me silly, then grabs me and lifts me off the steps, spinning me in a circle and laughing.
âI love you C you Cam.â His words are a promise that I fully intend to keep him to. I know we have a lot more to talk about, but right now all I want is to make sure Harry understands how much I really love him. Wordlessly, I take his arm and we head into my house and, finally, I take him to my bed.
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