Chapter 43

43- Monotones and makeup 1- I cut off my own thought. This is not helpful right now. I take a deep breath and calm myself. I might even be almost relaxed when Bellamy finally finds me. Okay, that’s not true. I’m completely freaking out. But I manage to hide it. Bellamy comes and sits on the seat beside me. He places my shoes on the ground by my feet and I slip them on. The silence is deafening until Bellamy finally manages to speak. His voice is quiet and almost completely. void of expression, as is his face.

“Are you mad at me again?” He asks. I shake my head. I don’t know what I expected him to say but it wasn’t that.

No He watches my face attentively.

“But?” He waits for my reply. I stand up and move to look at a small water feature built into the wall. I keep my back to him.

“But I can’t do this right now.” I tell him. I keep my voice calm, but it’s forced. I hear Bellamy stand and take a few steps until he’s next to me. I don’t turn to look at him.

“What do you want?” His voice is a dull monotone.

“I think I need to be alone for a bit.” Bellamy sighs.

“I understand.” His voice cracks a little bit towards the end of his response. His empty tone breaks to reveal… disappointment maybe? It’s hard to be sure because I’ve never heard him sound this way before. I keep staring at the water flowing in front of me, even once he turns. and heads back inside. I feel absolutely dreadful. It’s not fair to Bellamy how I’m acting. But I am just not ready for this. You would think that knowing someone is your perfect match would make everything easier. But instead I’m too scared to even try because I know everything in my life will change. That’s the thing with relationships. Ultimately they end or they don’t and knowing that it won’t just end makes it daunting because somehow that person has to fit into your world and will bring their entire world with them. It’s a lot to deal with and it shouldn’t be rushed or both worlds will end up in shambles. I stand there in a daze and it’s not until a ‘flash of light nearby catches my eye that I move. I realise that there is a red thread floating past my head. I can’t see who it is coming from and it’s probably a bad idea to wander around in the dark searching for a lurker, so I follow the thread inside. It 43- Monotones and makeup heads straight to Tristan. So it’s that woman from before. I should tell Bellamy but I really don’t want to right now. I cautiously head back inside and fetch my clutch from where I left it at the table. I search the room until I find Darrien. He stands up from where he’s sitting as I approach.

“Ryann? What’s wrong?” His expression is concerned. I wonder how I look right now, how freaked out I must seem to have him this worried. I shake my head.

“I can’t right now. Will you drive me home please?” I am practically begging him. He hesitates and I know he’s thinking about how Bellamy will react.

“I can’t deal with him right now. Please. I’ll text him that I’m going home and that with me. He can send whatever guards he wants. Just please, PLEASE take me home.” I plead. Darrien assesses me with a critical eye before nodding.

you’re “Send the message.” He watches as I message Bellamy.

Ryann- I need to be at home right now. Darrien is taking me. Tell Megan I’m sorry.

I send the message, then remember than Tristan’s soul mate is lurking about somewhere. I send a follow up message.

Ryann- Forgot to mention. Tristan’s real soul mate was lurking in the garden somewhere.

Messages sent, Darrien offers me his arm and leads me out to the car. We’re halfway home when he responds.

Bellamy- I understand. Aaron will meet you there and keep watch tonight. I will look into the woman.

I’m relieved that he didn’t kick up a fuss. I let Darrien know that Aaron will be meeting us. Aaron didn’t go to the party and was closer to my house than we were. He beats us there and he and Darrien exchange serious, manly nods as Darrien leaves to return to the party. I invite Aaron in and he makes himself comfortable at my kitchen table. He doesn’t speak, just nods. his acceptance. I then flee to my room, change into my comfy unicorn pyjamas, and collapse into bed. I don’t bother to wash the glitter out my hair or take off my makeup. I just can’t bring myself to care right now. I’m glad Aaron is the one Bellamy sent to watch me. He’s so 43- Monotones and makeup quiet, he’s probably the only person who wouldn’t ask why I’m upset or tell anyone else about this.

Bellamy probably planned it that way. I wonder if anyone saw us tonight, I really hope not. I suppose I should be glad that Bellamy didn’t do anything crazy when we e were in the middle of the dance floor.

At the time, it felt like everyone was watching us, when I ran inside to find Darrien I barely looked up from the floor, worried to see what people thought. But thinking back, I’m not sure anyone noticed at all.

Bellamy waited until everyone was distracted I guess. But does that mean he actually planned the…

what he did? Or maybe it was a coincidence, or he decided to take advantage of the sort–of privacy.

This is all just too much. Once again, I’m awake most of the night. It’s not until the early hours of the morning that I finally manage to fall into a restless sleep.

A firm but polite knock at my bedroom door is what wakes me. I’m exhausted, my eyes hurt because I didn’t wash off my makeup, and I’m sure I have some serious raccoon eyes. With a groan I drag myself out of bed and open the door. Aaron hands me my phone which is vibrating. I must have left it out there before I went to bed last night. He nods and walks off. Still silent, is he mute? I’m starting to think he’s mute. A glance at the screen shows that Megan is calling.

1 “Hello?”

“Ryann! Are you alright? You left without saying anything last night. Bellamy told me you said you were sorry but he wouldn’t say why you left.” Megan sounds concerned and I feel instantly guilty.

“I’m sorry Megan. Bellamy probably didn’t know what to tell you. He’s the reason I left after all.” I admit.

Megan practically growls into the phone.

“What did he do now? Do I need to yell at him for something?” I smile at her offer.

“No, no. Definitely not. He didn’t really do anything, it’s more my issue than anything else. I’m not really used to spending a lot of time with people. I’ll figure it all out.” Okay, so that was the most vague explanation ever. Thankfully, Megan doesn’t call me out on it. She’s still too busy stressing out.

“I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone so much last night. I’m so sorry, this is all my fault. I should have paid more attention to you. I know you tend to fight with my brother and it’s not like you really knew many people. Are you mad at me?” I’m having flashbacks to Bellamy 43- Monotones and makeup asking the same thing last night. At times like this I can tell that they’re siblings. I sigh.

“Don’t be crazy. It was your party, and I wasn’t your only guest. You spent the whole day with me, I can share you for an evening. There is no reason whatsoever for me to be mad at you, I promise.”