Chapter 44

44- Understanding and unsure “Great! Well in that case, want to come over for a bit? I thought we could look at some bridesmaid dresses and wedding dresses online and stuff. Search for inspiration.” Her sudden mood swings are giving me whiplash. I’m not awake enough to keep up with them.

“Uh, yeah sure. Okay. I’ll need a bit, I need to wash my hair and stuff before I can come.”

“You only just woke up didn’t you?” She accuses, her tone is amused though.

“I thought you sounded half asleep. It’s already almost midday, time to get up sleeping beauty.”

“What? That can’t be right? I feel like I haven’t slept at all. Maybe I’m coming down with something.” I slept terribly and I feel super tired even though I slept in late. Maybe I caught at bug. Or all the stress in recent days is finally catching up with me.

“Maybe. If it makes you feel any better, you’re probably less of a mess than my brother is. I found him wandering the house at like five in the morning. I’m pretty sure he didn’t sleep again. He’s back in bed now but I’m not sure he’s actually sleeping, I swear I heard him answering phone calls in there. He seems pretty strung out. Maybe you’re both sick?” she suggests.

“I hope not. If it’s something contagious I should probably stay away.”

“Nah, if I was going to catch something from you or Bellamy I would have by now, I’m sure it’s fine.

Come on over when you’re ready, kay?”

‘Sure, I’ll see you soon.”

“Seeya!” Megan hangs up and I set about having a nice, long, scorching hot shower. I don’t think I’ve ever needed it more. When I climb out the shower I groan, I STILL have raccoon eyes. I use the corner of my towel and a bit of water to wipe away as much as I can. I don’t have any makeup remover since I don’t tend to wear makeup often enough to need it. Whatever, Megan will have something I can use to get the rest later. Since I feel like crap I decide to stick to comfy track pants and a tank top. Basically, the bare minimum requirement 44- Understanding and unsure to be able to leave the house and not be totally embarrassed. I pull a brush through my hair but don’t worry about drying it. I’m just gonna chill with Megan, she won’t be bothered about my hair or clothes. I grab my phone and purse and head out to meet Aaron.

“Hey, sorry I slept so late. Have you eaten?” Aaron shakes his head. Darn it, still not speaking. I phrase my next question more carefully.

“Should we stop and get something to eat before heading to meet Megan? Or would you prefer to just wait and eat after you’ve dropped me off?” There, he has to answer that out loud, right?

“I’ll drop you first.” His voice is low and soft. I know I set up the question so he had to respond, but part of me honestly didn’t expect him to answer.

“You CAN talk!” He gives me a look that says ‘of course I can talk. and I laugh.

“Well that’s the first time you’ve spoken out loud to me. Although we seem to get along just fine with me doing all the talking. So I guess it doesn’t matter all that much anyways. Shall we head off then?” Aaron nods, a small smile on his face. I take that to mean he isn’t offended or anything. I probably should have considered that before blurting out random thoughts. But oh well, what’s done is done. I quickly transfer my stuff from my clutch into my normal bag and grab my phone. We head out to Aaron’s car and he gets the door for me. With all these Shifter’s being so helpful all the time I’m going to forget how to operate a door. Or how to catch a bus. Since I figure Aaron is not going to be providing me with any kind of conversation, I pull my phone out to scroll through random internet stuff. Oops, I left it out. last night so it’s already only on twenty percent power. Well, whatever, who is going to call me anyway?

Megan and Bellamy are the only ones who ever call, and I’ll be at their house……. oh no. I totally forgot that I might run into Bellamy. I mean it’s obvious, he and Megan live together, they’re siblings. I’m going to his house. But still, I don’t know that I’m ready to face him just yet. Maybe I should call Megan and cancel. I could ask Aaron to just take me back home. No, I’m being crazy. Megan said that Bellamy is locked in his room right now right? So all I have to do is get up to Megan’s room quietly. I’ll be staying there most of the day if I’m to him at all. Yeah, everything will be totally fine. We pull into the compound and I attempt to calm myself. So I might be freaking out just a little. Okay, deep breaths. Inhale, exhale and repeat. I climb out the car and work to keep myself composed. Still, I’m dragging my feet a little as we head up to the door. I am insanely nervous as the door swings open to reveal… Megan. I breath a sigh of relief.

Megan gives me a curious look. Darn, was I too obvious? She doesn’t say anything but I can see her watching not mistaken. I doubt I’ll actually have to talk –

44- Understanding and unsure me as we make a quick lunch in the kitchen. Chicken sandwiches and apple juice, I didn’t realise I was so hungry but I’m suddenly starving. I’m just sitting and eating when Megan suddenly jumps to her feet.

“What? What’s wrong?” I start to get up too but she pushes me back to my seat by the shoulder.

“You stay here! Uum… I… Forgot.. I have to go and… oh, call Tristan. Yeah, I was meant to call him.

Just wait here. I’ll be back in a couple minutes.” She dashes from the room. Just in time for Bellamy to arrive. Darn, she has apparently decided we need to talk things out. Not that she actually knows what’s wrong. It helps a little that Bellamy looks almost as uncomfortable as I do, and twice as tired. He also looks… incredibly depressed. At least he does for the few seconds it takes for him to compose himself.

He steps into the kitchen and begins making himself a sandwich with the stuff Megan and I have yet to put away. His expression while he works is… pleasant, and so obviously fake. At least it’s obvious to me. I’ve seen his real smile, and this is not it. Guilt floods me, he isn’t upset because of last night is he?

Maybe it’s just because he hasn’t really slept. Still, I have to say something.

“Bellamy I-” he cuts me off.

“Don’t worry about it. I understand perfectly.” His fake smile increases in brightness, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. What does he understand perfectly? I don’t even understand perfectly, so how can he?

“I just really thought that… well it doesn’t matter. Everything will stay the way it was. Alright?” he looks to me for some kind of agreement. So he wants to pretend it didn’t happen? I guess I can work with that. For now at least, until the awkwardness passes a bit. I nod wordlessly. Bellamy smiles at me again, but it looks even more forced than before.

“Right, well… I should… go.” He turns and walks straight out the kitchen. It takes me moment to realise that he left the sandwich he made behind on the bench. He didn’t eat any of it at all. Within seconds of Bellamy leaving, Megan reappears. Why did she have to leave me alone with him. Really it’s so NOT okay.

“That was so not cool Megan Kane.” I glare at her. She pales a little.

“I, I’m sorry. I just thought you guys should work out whatever argument you’re having.

44- Understanding and unsure Usually when you guys fight, you just talk it out.” She looks a bit like a kicked puppy, and now I feel like a jerk for being the one doing the kicking. I sigh and frown.

“How do you know about us fighting and stuff anyway?” I demand. Megan shrugs.

“I pay attention? Also I asked Darrien and Shaun. Shaun is a bit of a gossip and Darrien, well he was a bit more close lipped but he caved eventually.” Megan looks smug. The traitors. I’m not so surprised about Shaun, but I would have thought better of Darrien. Then again, I don’t think there’s much he could refuse Megan, so it’s probably to be expected. I am a little concerned about how much he’s told her though. Hopefully not too much, but she would have said something if she knows right? I sigh and give in.

I am, “Look, Bellamy and I aren’t fighting anymore, it’s fine. It’s just a little awkward at the moment. It’ll pass.

Don’t worry about it. Now, what about these dresses you were thinking about?” Okay, my subject changing is not subtle. Megan rolls her eyes at how not subtle I but allows the topic change. We head up to her room and curl up on her bed with her laptop and spend the next few hours looking at dresses online before we move on to watching wedding themed movies. For research purposes of course.