Chapter 46

46- Home and hot chocolates When we reach my home, Darrien moves to the kitchen and starts going through my cupboards.

“Go change into one of those fuzzy unicorn things.” He orders. I nod and head to my room to change.

I’ve finally stopped crying. Now I just feel empty. I move around like a zombie as I throw on my pyjamas. When I head back out, Darrien sits me down at one of the chairs at my tiny little table and hands me a hot chocolate. So that’s what he was looking for. He settle down in the chair across from me with his own mug.

“I know you weren’t ready to tell him, and he probably was a little annoyed to overhear that he’s your mate. I’m sure he would have preferred if you had told him directly. But none of that explains why you’re crying like it’s the end of the world. What happened? This is two nights in a row I’ve had to drive you home in a hurry.” Darrien keeps his tone gentle. Still, it seems pretty clear that he has no intention of leaving me alone until I fill him in a little.

“He overheard me talking to Megan. He looked so upset. Like this was the worst news he could possibly get. He hates me, I’m sure of it.” I lean my forehead onto my arms and hide my face against the table.

“Well that can’t be right.” Darrien states firmly.

“You have to be misunderstanding something. There’s no way that he hates you, in fact I’m pretty sure that’s the farthest thing from what he feels for you.”

“He slammed the door and drove away.” I mumble into my own arm. Darrien sighs.

“Maybe he just needs time to think. Maybe you both do. Why don’t you go lie down? I’m sure things will look up a bit in the morning.” I can’t even be bothered arguing. I trudge along to my room where I collapse into bed. I’m still exhausted, but I can’t seem to sleep. I stare at the ceiling for at least a couple hours before I hear Darrien’s voice outside my door. Is someone here? I listen harder. No, I think he must be on the phone. I can only hear him.

“I think she’s asleep.” Okay so he’s talking about me.

46- Home and hot chocolates “Of course I’ll stay.” A pause.

“Yes I knew.” He mutters.

“A few days ago.” Another moment of silence.

“Yes exactly.”

“With all due respect that’s probably something you should ask her.” Darrien sighs.

“I understand that, but she’s my Alpha too.” I cringe at that. When did Darrien decide on that?

“Look, from what I can tell, she’s confused.”

“What do I think? Well… If you aren’t prepared to come here, I suggest you go home. Talk to your sister.”

“Good. Okay, so Shaun will be here in the morning? Okay, that works. Yep.”

“Good evening Alpha Kane.” He states formally, than after a slight hesitation adds;

“And good luck with… everything. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Darrien must have hung up after that because he falls silent. Why did Bellamy call? To make sure I was gone so he could go home I suppose. It’s good that I left. I stare at the ceiling all night. I watch as the first bit of sunlight starts to peek through my curtains and listen as the birds wake up. It’s a long night and I’m sure there will be many more to follow.

I climb out of bed, shower and get dressed on autopilot. I didn’t sleep but I don’t think that’s likely to change anytime soon so I figure I had best get on with my day. I have the afternoon shift at work and I need to make sure I’m ready. It’s only about 6:30 am so I dress in comfy clothes. I’ll change into my work stuff later. I step out into the living area and Darrien immediately stands from the table where he appeared to be sort of dozing. At least one of us got to rest.

“Good morning Ryann… how are you?” His tone is cautious, like he is fairly sure he is asking 46- Home and hot chocolates a stupid question. He’s probably right. It is a stupid question. I just shrug.

“Do you want something to eat?” He offers. I shake my head. Definitely not hungry. My stomach rebels at the thought of food. I already feel a bit ill even without eating. Darrien hesitates before his next word “He called last night. Shaun should be here any time to take over. Aaron will be coming in the evening.”

Darrien doesn’t even bother clarifying who he is. It’s not like it’s not obvious. I nod my acceptance. I’m so tired, just responding seems like too much effort. Darrien looks really worried.

“You know he’s worried about you.” I can’t help but sport at that. Darrien raises an eyebrow.

“You disagree? He’s upset and he still called to make sure you’re okay and arranged guards for you.” I shrug.

“He feels responsible since I was attacked because of him.” I mutter. Darrien looks almost relieved that I answered him. I guess my silence freaks him out, “I don’t think that’s true. You should try and talk to him, figure things out.” I shake my head.

“Just drop it Darrien, I’m not even sure I can or want to figure things out and I’m positive that he doesn’t.” Darrien opens his mouth to object but I hold up a hand.

“Don’t. Just don’t. I’m not talking about this. I have work today and I should do some laundry. Let me know when Shaun arrives.” I turn and head back to my room. I pause in the doorway. when Darrien speaks, he sounds defeated.

“Call Megan at least. She’s worried about you.” I nod and head into my room, closing the door behind me. I call Megan. She answers the phone without a greeting, “What can I do to help you?” is the first thing she says, before I can even speak.

“Nothing Megan. We just leave it. You shouldn’t mess with fate. Bellamy found out and look what happened. That was without me actively trying to interfere. The best thing I can do is leave him alone.

It’s not our time yet.” I work to keep my voice calm, but it sounds almost monotonous, even to my own cars.

46 Home and hot chocolates “But, you’re miserable, he’s miserable. I can’t just do nothing.” She objects.

“You can and you will. Besides, you have a wedding to keep yourself occupied. I won’t be coming round for a while. If you need to see me we can meet up or you can come here if your like.”

“Can I come now?”

“I have work later, and I need to do laundry. I’ll see you later. I should go. Bye Megan.” Without giving her a chance to respond, I hang up. I don’t do laundry. In fact I don’t go do anything. I just stare at nothing in particular. I hear Darrien knock and tell me Shaun has arrived. I call out that I heard him and I hear him leave. Eventually I get dressed for work and have Shaun drive me.