Chapter 47

47- Forts and fallouts The next three months continue in this fashion. Megan and Darrien continue to visit me and I continue to live on autopilot. I lose weight because I can’t seem to eat or sleep properly. I’m working more than ever. It helps to stay busy. It means less time staring at the wall. I still help Megan with wedding stuff but my enthusiasm is even more false than it was before. Still, the wedding plans continue to progress.

Maggie messages me on multiple occasions inviting me to stop by. I make excuses every time. I haven’t cried since that day and I don’t intend to cry again. I haven’t seen or heard from Bellamy either, although Megan and Darrien insist that he has been checking in with my guards regularly. That actually makes things worse. If he wants to talk to me all he has to do is call, or come see me. Instead he’s spying on me from a distance getting reports from others. It only confirms that he has no interest in actually seeing me. Darrien suggested I should go see him. But if he is avoiding me then I won’t force my presence on him. Occasionally I emerge from my spiral of depression long enough to be angry. HE was the one who ran away when he heard the truth. Am I really so awful that he couldn’t stop to talk about it at least? Two more weeks have passed when I run into Maggie downstairs. I have been avoiding her but I do live just above her so I was bound to run into her eventually. I’m just coming back from an afternoon shift at work and I don’t make it up the stairs before she sees me. I thought she would be heading to bed by now. Tomorrow is the day of Megan’s wedding and I’m already anxious enough as it is. I don’t think I can pretend very well tonight.

“Ryann, come inside for a moment.” She calls out. I shake my head and put on a false smile.

“I can’t Maggie, I have things that I need to get done.” I lie. She rolls her eyes at me.

“Sweetheart I wasn’t really asking. Come inside for a cup of tea, something’s up and we need. to talk about it.” I shake my head again.

“I can’t talk about it Maggie. Not with you. You know all the people involved, it would feel wrong.” I admit. I don’t want Maggie to think poorly of me, or Bellamy or anyone really. She’s too trusting and I don’t want to poison her opinion with my current bitterness. She puts her hands on her hips and glares at me.

“If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. But you need to talk to someone, Ryann. You’re clearly miserable. Find someone to talk to. Promise me.” She stares at me, she even meets my eyes for a moment. She doesn’t hold them, but I didn’t expect her to. The fact that she tried shows me bow serious she is She is worried about me. I feel instantly guilty. Maggie is the closest thing to a mother I have ever had, I don’t like upsetting her.

“Ill talk to someone.” I promise. I then flee back upstairs and hide in my room. I take my promises serioush, so now I have to talk. But to who? It needs to be someone I know well enough to talk to, someone who might understand why I can’t trust so well. It has to be someone who knows about my magic. It also has to be someone who won’t talk to Bellamy, or Megan, or Darrien or my guards, or basically anyone else. Inspiration strikes, but only if I still have the number. I grab my phone and search it frantically, YES! It’s still here. The card Harrison gave me. We’ve known each other since we were kids, he knows about my magic, he was there when I was figuring it out. He would never have a reason to talk to Bellamy or any of the other Shifters. He has no stake in any of this so he should be a good second opinion. I also remember from when we were kids, he’s actually not a bad listener, when he does decide to listen that is. He’s also an orphan like me, so he might understand my issues a bit at least. Having to cut contact with him was one of the most miserable parts of my childhood. But Inncubi don’t really have friends when they’re teenagers. Their magics kick in and they become less than ideal company. Theoretically they grow out of that initial stage of lust driven idiocy and Harrison certainly seemed more like his old self when I saw him earlier. I feel like I’m trying to justify this to myself, but there’s really no question. I already know I’ve made my decision about who I want to talk to. I take a bit of time and figure out an appropriate invite for him. It’s not a good idea to give an Incubus any false expectations, love the chase entirely too much. Which is basically why I stopped being friends with Harrison when we approached our teenage years. While I do believe that he is far too good a guy to abuse any of his magics, I don’t think he would have handled being constantly rejected by me well. I stare at the words I’ve typed out and hit send before I can change my mind.

they Ryann- Hi Harry, this is Ryann. Do you remember when we were kids and we used to watch cartoons together in that blanket fort we built and we would share our secrets? I was hoping you might want to come round and we can do that. Talk that is. It’s okay if you don’t want to.

I get a response almost immediately.

Harrison- When?

Ryann- Now?

Harrison- I can do now, you better start getting supplies out for that fort we’re building. What’s your address?

I smile, my first proper smile in weeks that isn’t forced because someone is watching me. Maybe a little bit of good can come out of this mess. It will be nice to have Harrison as a friend again. I send him my address. Next I head to my room and grab all the blankets and sheets off my bed. I also grab a few armfuls of pillows and dump them in the living area. I pull out my laptop and charger and stick them on the table. It takes me about fifteen minutes to get everything and I am just debating if we will need to make a run to get some snacks when a scuffle outside my door draws my attention. I can hear Harrison speaking.

“Hey man, what the hell? Let me go!” He sounds annoyed. Oh shoot, I forgot to warn Aaron that he would be coming. Aaron insists on spending most of the evening outside when he guards me. He says it’s so he can keep an eye out for dangers but I think it’s so he can avoid me trying to convince him to talk again. He usually comes inside around midnight. I don’t know what he does after that, stares out the window I suppose, he is very dedicated to his job. I rush over and fling the front door open. Aaron has a firm grip on Harrison’s arm and is glaring at him.

“Aaron, he’s my friend. I invited him. Let him go!” I insist. Aaron turns and stares at me incredulously.

“An Incubus?” His tone implies I am insane.

“Let him go Aaron. Now.” I meet his eyes. He drops them after only half a second and immediately releases Harrison. His expression is a clear question. Why do you have to make my life harder than it has to be? He reaches for his pocket. I can tell he’s trying to be subtle. I roll my eyes at him.

“Go on, go ahead. Tell your Alpha everything just like you always do.”

“He won’t like this.” he murmurs. I turn to Harrison. He’s settled down now and actually looks a little amused.

“Sorry about that, let’s head inside.” I gesture for him to lead the way. I follow Harrison in but turn to make sure that Aaron doesn’t follow us. His expression darkens.

“I have company Aaron, Bellamy may insist that I still need a guard and I can put up with that, but I know you report on everything I do, so I’m sorry but you will have to stay outside until Harry heads home.” I close the door on his unimpressed face. Harrison immediately begins howling with laughter.

“Oh Ry, you really haven’t changed.” He states when he finally gets ahold of himself.

“What do you mean?” 1 ask, confused.

“Everyone thinks you’re so quiet and obedient, and you are most of the time. But as soon as you decide on something there’s no going against you.” Harrison grins. I stare at him and my eyes start to water a little. This, this is what I needed. Someone who knows me well. Megan is amazing and I know she is and will be my friend forever and that is amazing. I know that, given time, she will know me better than anyone else. But we aren’t there yet. She’s my best. friend, but in many ways she is still a stranger to me. Harrison notices my reaction and with at gentle smile he opens his arms wide in the universal gesture for ‘hug?‘ Unable to stop myself I dart forward and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back as I fight the urge to cry. I pull away after only a few seconds and he releases me easily. I’m not sure I’m ready to talk vet.

So, are we gonna build a fort then?” I force cheer into my voice.