Chapter 55

55–Bedrooms and boundaries I wake to a light tugging in my hair. The room is still dark, so I have no idea how long I’ve been asleep.

“Hello.” Bellamy says quietly, stroking my hair. I guess that explains the tugging. I stop and take in my situation. Once again, while sleeping we have moved around so that I am lying half on top of him, one leg pulled up and crossed over his. One of his arms is wrapped around my waist while the other is stroking my hair. I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. I don’t know why I’m so freaked out. This is very different to the other times we woke up next to each other. Those times Bellamy backed off as soon as he realised what was happening, but now…

“Hi?” I answer him nervously. Bellamy doesn’t say anything. He just keeps lazily stroking my hair and lets out a deep breath. He moves a little adjusting his legs, shifting me slightly.

“Sorry, I’m probably crushing you, I’ll move 1-” I am about to roll off of him when he runs his hand down from my hair. He runs it lightly over my shoulder, down my side and it lands on my thigh. He holds it lightly to stop me moving away, although not so tight I couldn’t pull away if I wanted to.

“Don’t go.” His arm tightens around my waist.

“I can finally touch you. It’s how I know this is real.” He murmurs. I flush bright red and hide my face against his chest.

“Just for a little longer then.” I mutter. We lie there in silence for who knows how long, thirty minutes?

An hour? Eventually the sound of Bellamy’s phone vibrating on the table by the bed. is enough to force him to move. With a sigh he releases me, sits up and checks his messages. He groans in frustration.

“Word has gotten out about what happened to Tristan, apparently his mother is demanding to see me.

It hasn’t occurred to her that I might not be home.” he groans again.

“Does that mean you need to go?” I ask, still lying down in the pillows, reluctant to get up. Bellamy eyes me up and down, something in his gaze I don’t quite understand.

55–Bedrooms and boundaries “Eventually I’ll need to deal with it. When I go back, I’ll have to deal with all the fallout of his death and Megan’s almost- marriage. But it can wait a little longer.” He moves closer, leaning over me. I stare up at him, his golden eyes meeting mine. He moves closer again, one arm on the pillow on the opposite side of me to support himself.

“But, isn’t it important?” I blurt out.

“You’re more important.” he answers smoothly. He’s so close now. He leans in, his lips just brushing mine in the lightest kiss. I panic.

“Stop!” He freezes and takes in my expression. Then with a half–smile he moves back a little. He’s still leaning over me, but I have more space.

of my “Too much?” He asks. I nod, not trusting myself to speak. Bellamy is quiet for a second before he moves and presses a light kiss against my forehead before moving away to sit on the edge. bed. I sit up. Well, this is awkward. I climb out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. I don’t know what time it is, but I’m hungry, Bellamy probably is too. I open my fridge and stare at the empty shelves. I’m a bit overdue to do the grocery shopping. I close the door and jump in shock when I realise Bellamy followed me to the kitchen and is standing behind it.

“We might need to eat out.” I tell him, my voice slightly higher than usual. I step around the tiny kitchen to move around him and put a bit of space between us.

“Ryann.” Bellamy starts. I keep talking, well, more like babbling nervously.

“Or we could eat at your house I guess, I want to check on Megan so I don’t really mind but-”

“Ryann, please stop for a second would you?” he asks. I sigh and turn to face him.

“We should talk about what just happened.” He insists. I blush and stare at the floor. Bellamy likes to face issues head on, he’s not going to let me avoid awkward conversations.

“What about it?” I respond. This entire situation is uncomfortable. I don’t know how I’m supposed to react to anything..

“You were uncomfortable.” He starts. I shrug, that much was obvious enough.

55- Bedrooms and boundaries “I just, I want to know what you are comfortable with.” he explains. I look up at him helplessly. “How should I know?” I blurt out. I don’t even know what I’m comfortable with so how can I tell him? Bellamy watches my face and seems to understand my internal dilemma. He runs a hand through his hair and exhales heavily.

“Look, I know it’s been explained to you a little, how Shifters like to be close to those they care about.

For me, being close to you is something that comes as easily as breathing, I crave it. I’ve chosen you and as far as I’m concerned that’s the only decision I needed to make. I know it isn’t the same for you and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. If you can’t tell me what you’re okay with, then you’re going to have to tell me when you’re not okay with something. For example.” Bellamy steps in closer to me, not super close, but enough that I could reach out and touch him.

“Is this okay?” He asks. I nod. He smiles and slowly reaches out and takes my hand.

“And this?” I nod again. He tugs me a little closer and places his free hand on my lower back.

“Okay or not?” he checks. I’m bright red at this point.

“O–okay.” He uses the hand on my back to pull me lightly to lean against his chest. Was he always this tall? I feel so tiny. His hand releases mine and loops around my back to meet his other hand trapping me against him.

“And now?” He asks again. I don’t answer, I just lean into him further and lie my head against his chest.

He wraps his arms tightly around me and I can feel him press a kiss in my hair. We stand there for a minute before he speaks again.

“May I kiss you?” he asks. I consider. I DO want him to kiss me, I’m just also super nervous about it.

Bellamy seems to take my silence as a refusal. He pulls away, clearing his throat, clearly also feeling nervous. His discomfort oddly enough is exactly what I needed to help me. conquer my own. Before I can talk myself out of it I blurt out;

“Yes.” He examines my face, making sure I mean it. Then a slow smile moves across his face. He reaches out and places one hand on my cheek. He uses the other to lightly tilt my head up from under my chin. Then he leans down and lightly presses his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. He pulls back, lingering for a moment a few centimetres from my face. Then pulls away to properly assess my reaction. I give him a shy smile and he returns it with a cheeky, satisfied 55- Bedrooms and boundaries grin.

“That’s more than enough for now. I’m in no hurry.” He tells me, taking my hand in his again.

“I just have one last question.” He adds. I try my best not to make a face.

“What is it?”

“Before, when you stopped me from kissing you. What was different? What made that not. okay and this okay?” Bellamy is watching me, his expression earnest. I find myself staring at my feet. I ran out of my room so fast I forgot to put my slippers on and my toes are cold.

“The bed.” I whisper, my discomfort returning. Bellamy considers me for a moment before nodding.

“Okay then. I’ll remember that.” He pauses before continuing.

“Can we eat out? When I get back I’ll have a lot of work to do, I want to relax just a little longer.” I nod my agreement.

“Okay, I’ll text Megan and let her know I’ll be about an hour then.” He releases my hand and heads towards my room to get his phone. He’s in the doorway when I finally speak up.

“What about you?” I force out. He stops and turns to face me.

“What about me?”

“Is there anything that would make you uncomfortable?” I clarify. Bellamy flashes me a bright smile.

“I honestly can’t think of anything you might do that I wouldn’t be okay with. But if anything comes up I promise to tell you.”