Chapter 57

57- Worries and worth “I didn’t use ALL the methods of courting, there are three main aspects to Shifter courting. First I show that I can provide for you with gifts of food and clothing. Second I show I can protect you, I got the rules about shoes changed at your workplace and literally fought the Vampires to protect you so that counts.

That just leaves proving that I will do the same for our children.” He concludes. I choke on my water.

Bellamy is out of his seat in a second. He moves onto the bench next to me, patting and stroking my back as I regain the ability to breathe. He looks like he is trying not to laugh.

“Breathe Ryann, hypothetical children, relax.” Bellamy chuckles and I glare at him.

“And just what kind of new and confusing behaviour can I expect from you regarding this?” I demand.

He sobers up a little.

“I’m not entirely sure, usually this would be proven by making an effort to be active in the family, taking care of younger siblings, or elderly family members of the female being courted…” He trails off.

“… and I don’t have any.” I conclude with a deep sigh. Bellamy begins rubbing light circles on my lower back again.

to prove “Hey, don’t worry about it. You have us now, and I’ll work out some way it to you.”

He sounds determined. I shrug.

“It doesn’t really matter, you don’t need to prove anything to me.” I inform him. He drops his gaze.

“It… is important to me. It would be considered almost… shameful if I couldn’t fulfil at least the three basic expectations of courtship. I don’t want anyone thinking that I don’t deserve you.” he states, almost aggressively. I can’t help but laugh.

“As if that would ever happen. With the exception of the impossible to please Canine and Avian Alphas, pretty much all the Shifters love you, or at least respect you. If they’re going to judge anyone as undeserving it would probably be me. I saw the way those girls giggled and stared after you.” I mean the words as a joke, mostly at least, but Bellamy takes them very 57- Worries and worth seriously.

“That is not true, you are so much more than I deserve, and if others can’t see that then they’re idiots.”

He says this so passionately that I can’t help but flush bright red. I take a calming breath then before I can talk myself out of it, I lean forward and place a quick kiss on his cheek. Just a slight brush of my lips, he probably barely even felt it. I sit back and watch for his reaction. Bellamy is frozen, staring straight ahead and I’m not totally sure he is breathing. I shuffle in the seat awkwardly a moment and the movement draws his gaze to me. Finally, he reacts. He puts an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his chest. I got willingly, if only to hide my tomato red face. I feel him press a light kiss in my hair.

“It is ridiculous how happy you make me.” he mutters, face still pressed into my hair. I didn’t even do anything, he’s usually the one taking care of me. I should tell him how I feel, say something, but I’m too embarrassed. Maybe I can do something for him, to show him. I’ll have to think about it. But not now, right now I just want to enjoy sitting here, I feel warm, safe and happy and I’m not ready for that to end.

I sit with Bellamy for a long time before he gives a reluctant sigh and pulls away from me. He gestures towards the door and I give a silent nod. Without a word, he takes my hand and leads me out to the car, keeping me close by his side. We are almost back to his home when I finally break the silence.

“What’s going to happen now?” I ask tentatively.

“I’m not entirely sure. I’ll have to meet with Tristan’s mother and try to calm her down. I’ll also have to have a meeting at some point in the next few weeks with the other Alpha’s to explain the situation. It shouldn’t be a problem since there were lots of witnesses to what happened. I won’t let Megan get in any trouble.” He assures me. Since I know how obsessed he is with keeping people safe, I believe him.

Bellamy parks in front of his house and turns off the engine but neither of us move. I suspect Bellamy is procrastinating his meeting. In my case it’s because once I get out of the car I am going to have to deal with life again, not to mention I am going to have to deal with Darrien who is sure to sass me about Bellamy and Megan… I’m not sure how she is feeling but it can’t be good and I don’t think I really know how to comfort her. What if she’s mad at me? She didn’t seem mad when we spoke last but she was in shock. Maybe she’s upset that I told her about Tristan. Maybe she’s angry that I waited so long to tell her. I mean there were plenty of times I could have said something other than her actual wedding day. I am an awful person. I 57- Worries and worth can’t believe I did that to her.

My panic must be showing on my face because Bellamy places a hand on my arm and angles.

me towards himself as best as he can in the car.

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong? You’re overthinking something. Talk to me.” His voice is calm and reassuring and I take a deep breath before answering.

“I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell Megan the truth. What if she’s angry? Or what if she’s been a wreck this whole time while we were just sleeping and getting food? I am an awful friend.” I’m on a roll and now that I’ve started my worries keep tumbling out.

“And what am I even supposed to say to her now? So sorry you had to kill your ex–fiance. But hey, on the bright side your actual fated mate is here to help pick up the pieces and while we’re on the topic, I kissed your brother and could really use someone to talk to about it but that might be weird because you know… brother.” I stop and take a deep breath.

“I am so not prepared to deal with all this emotional stuff. I avoided all this for years and now I have no idea what to do. Did I break some kind of friendship girl–code type thing by keeping so much to myself?

I mean I am almost certain there are friendship rules about kissing your friends brothers, even I’ve seen enough trash TV to know that’s not normal and I-” I’m interrupted by Bellamy pressing a finger over my lips. He gives me a half smile as he moves his hand away.

“You are definitely working yourself up and I wasn’t sure when to interrupt. Give me a minute to sort through that jumble of concerns. First, there is no way my sister is upset about you and me. She is one hundred per–cent on board with the idea of having you as a sister one day. She made that very clear to me about a thousand times while we were… taking a break from each other. This isn’t a trashy TV show and if your friendship does have any rules, that is definitely not one of them. As for what to say to her? That I can’t answer for you. But I know you care about her so just do your best and make sure she knows that and you’ll do fine.” Bellamy is gently stroking my arm with his thumb as he speaks and I can’t help but relax slightly. The nervous energy seems to drain right out of me, now only one fear remains at the forefront of my mind.

“But what if she’s angry?” I ask. My voice is so quiet I would think he might miss it if not for his rather exceptional hearing.

57- Worries and worth “Then you apologise. If it makes you feel any better she’s more likely to be angry with me. I’ve had much longer to say something and I never spoke up. She loves us both, even if she does get mad it won’t last forever. I know this is all new territory for you and you’re freaked out, but no one expects you to magically fix everything. There’s no perfect thing you can say that will undo all the crap that’s happened in the last few months so just relax and do the best you can. Okay?” I take another deep breath and force my shoulders to relax. Bellamy is right, I’m worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet.

“Okay, I think I’m alright. Shall we head in?”