CH 4

“You were saying?”

“Yesterday was our first appointment. If you drive with someone else before our next meeting, we won’t have a second time,” Han Cheng said seriously.

Shen QingShu nodded. “Okay, the same goes for you. If you get in another car before our next appointment, I won’t meet up with you in your garage.”

“Deal.”

“Then I’m out of here.” Shen QingShu unbuckled his seat belt. “Be careful on the road.”

“No one needs to be more careful than you behind the wheel,” Han Cheng said sincerely.

Shen QingShu: …

Shen QingShu let out a “hmf” and turned his back to walk away.

Han Cheng chuckled a little and thought he was amusing.

Pretty faces were all the same, but an interesting soul was one in a million. It was rare to find someone who was intriguing as well as good-looking. At the very least, he thought they were a good match.

Shen QingShu went home. To be precise, he went back to the original owner’s home.

To put it mildly, the original owner’s family was a little complicated.

In the book, “Shen QingShu” was a member of a newly-rich family of upstarts. Some people might consider them well-to-do, but they weren’t in the same league as a genuinely wealthy family. Still, an ordinary family would consider them out of reach.

When Mrs. Shen went into labor, there was an accident. Instead of going to the high-grade hospital she’d planned, she ended up in an ordinary hospital. This inspired Guo Hong, a woman in the same ward who’d just given birth, to think about things she shouldn’t. She ended up quietly switching their babies and returned home with “Shen QingShu”.

Guo Hong’s family wasn’t wealthy. She and her husband made a living selling vegetables. Later, her husband passed away and she herself fell ill. When she needed an operation and didn’t have the money, she wanted to survive, so she contacted her own son, that is, Shen QingYu, the young man who’d grown up in the Shen family in place of “Shen QingShu”.

“Shen QingShu” inadvertently heard their conversation and learned what Guo Hong had done. Only then did he realize that to spare her son from poverty, Guo Hong had stolen a dragon and substituted a phoenix, swapping a civet cat for a prince, and replaced her son with him.

After discovering the truth, “Shen QingShu” was devastated. But Guo Hong had treated him well for many years, and he had some feelings for her. He pretended not to know and tried to figure out what to do.

To Guo Hong’s surprise, after her own son, Shen QingYu, learned the truth about himself, he called her “mother” and said he was grateful, but he refused to pay the money for her operation, secretly hoping she would die as soon as possible.

Guo Hong’s eyes were as sharp as her wits. When she saw that her own son was unreliable, she quietly launched Plan B.

She told “Shen QingShu” everything, weeping and confessing, saying she was going to die and knew she was wrong. She was willing to let “Shen QingShu” go back to recognize his ancestors, but she hoped “Shen QingShu” would remember their mother-son bond after so many years and help her so that she wouldn’t die in a hospital bed.

By nature, “Shen QingShu” had a soft personality and wasn’t very self-assertive. When he saw Guo Hong crying so pitifully, he thought about the years they’d spent together, and his heart softened. For the sake of helping his adoptive mother get the money to treat her illness, he returned to the Shen family.

He didn’t have any proof of his story, but fortunately he looked a lot like Mrs. Shen. After the DNA test results were out, the truth was there in black and white.

The Shen family was shocked, but they accepted it.

Only, after Shen QingShu returned to his birth family, Shen QingYu didn’t leave.

On the day Shen QingShu moved in, everyone was confused and didn’t know how to react. In a flash Shen QingYu fell to his knees and banged his head on the ground three times at Shen Fu and Shen Mu, loud enough to deafen their ears.

With tears in his eyes, he expressed his shame for what his biological mother had done. He thanked his parents for all the years they’d raised him, piling on his grief with his sentimental attachment to his parents, saying sorrowfully—

“Now that Gege is back, it’s time for me to go. I know Mom and Dad don’t want me to leave, and I don’t want to leave them either, but I’m the child of the guilty party. What right do I have to stay here! From now on, I only hope that Gege will look after Mom and Dad. Dad likes to smoke, so Gege, make sure to remind him to take care of his health. Don’t let him drink too often, and make sure he goes to bed on time. And the same goes for Mom. Gege, don’t forget to buy Mom something she likes on her birthday. Remember she likes to eat light food, nothing too greasy, and don’t make her angry….”

An impressive stream of manipulative words flowed from his mouth, artfully bitchy yet eloquent. The Shen parents were so touched they embraced him and cried, “You’re the child of our family. You don’t have to go anywhere. How can you leave?”

For a while, the three hugged each other. Shen QingYu and Mrs. Shen wept bitterly. Shen Fu had tears in his eyes. Meanwhile, “Shen QingShu”, who was supposedly a rightful member of this family, stood to the side like he didn’t belong.

In the end, Shen QingYu didn’t move out. He had to put on a few more performances, but he also got lucky. Guo Hong didn’t survive. Before she even entered the operating room, she was gone.

That meant Shen QingYu was an orphan. The Shen parents had even more reason to let him stay. “You’re all alone now. You might as well live at home. It’s heaven’s will that you become our child.”

As Shen QingYu hugged his adoptive mother, tears fell down like rain, acting out an affectionate mother-son scene for the ages.

So now there were four people living in the Shen household: the Shen parents, the original owner, and the green tea spirit Shen QingYu.

Shen QingShu couldn’t help but click his tongue when he thought of this convoluted family structure. He really didn’t understand the magical brain circuits of the Shen parents. Their own son had been stolen for so many years, but the moment they finally found him, they spent all their time appeasing their adopted son. They were afraid he’d feel bad now that he knew he wasn’t related to them, but they never spared a thought for how awkward and sad their own son felt as he stood there, ignored and alone, off to the side.

Fortunately, he wasn’t the original owner. He didn’t expect anything from these eccentric-minded parents. The only reason he came back here was because the original owner had no other place to stay. Otherwise Shen QingShu thought he probably wouldn’t return to this place—Wasn’t it better to let the Shen parents and Shen QingYu live happily together on their own?

White lotus with green tea, a perfect combination! He wasn’t a Virgin Mary who escaped from Notre Dame in Paris. How could he live with these people?

However, since he’d just transmigrated and wasn’t familiar with the situation, all he could do was put up with it for now.

Shen QingShu took out his key, opened the door, and went inside.

No sooner did he walk through the door than he heard a stern male voice say, “So you actually know how to come home?! I finally found a blind date for you, and you don’t come back all night. Your eyesight is so bad you act like a piece of garbage is a treasure. Why do your mother and I have to worry about you so much?!”

Shen QingShu was startled. When he looked up he realized Shen Fu and Shen Mu were home.

Shen Mu soothed her husband, “Xiao Shu already promised. He’ll go on the date.” She turned her head to look at Shen QingShu. “Isn’t that right, Xiao Shu?”

Shen QingShu nodded. The original owner had a scum boyfriend, and when he found out the scum was cheating on him, they had a big fight. Before the original owner could even mention breaking up, the scumbag dumped him.

Shen Fu and Shen Mu didn’t like the original owner’s boyfriend, but the original owner was dead set against splitting up with him. Now that they’d finally parted ways, the Shen parents couldn’t wait to introduce a blind date to the original owner, and they specifically picked a young man with the same sexual orientation.

—After all, in this world, same-sex couples were allowed to marry. Although the relevant regulations had only just come into effect, the parents of the original owner wanted to join the circle of aristocratic families via their son’s marriage, so they were quite accepting.

The reason the original owner agreed to his parents’ matchmaking, and even met with Han Cheng in a hotel last night, was because of his breakup with his scum boyfriend.

He didn’t have any hopes for the blind date and didn’t want to go. The only reason he promised his parents was from weakness of character.

He made an appointment with Han Cheng after he saw his boyfriend lying in the same bed with another man without any clothes, and then the scumbag insulted and dumped him. The original owner was angry and resentful. All he wanted to do was take revenge, damn the consequences.

Shen QingShu didn’t think it was necessary to go to such extremes. It was just a scumbag. This was a happy event ah, something to be celebrated.

However, the original owner was no longer here, and he wasn’t going to feel upset about a scumbag. As for the matchmaking, that was a piece of cake. It wasn’t a big deal to go on a blind date. Maybe the other party would be okay.

Shen QingShu, who’d been single for all twenty-two years of his life and had died in an accident, was eager to fall in love. He’d already driven a car, so the only thing left was to experience love. That way, if he had another accident someday, he’d be able to die without regrets.

Shen Fu saw him nod his head and felt satisfied, but his mouth was unforgiving. “Open your eyes from now on. Don’t just think any kind of garbage is good. Look at Xiao Yu and what kind of people are beside him. What kind of people are beside you? Learn more from his example.”

Shen QingShu thought that was ridiculous. “If I grew up in my own home, I wouldn’t be surrounded by these people now. And why didn’t I grow up here?” He tilted his head and gave a crooked smile. “I guess I’d have to ask my good Didi’s mother.”

Shen Fu frowned. “Xiao Yu is innocent!”

“Then I’m even more innocent, purer than a white lotus.”

Shen QingShu was done. He didn’t bother to pay any more attention to him and went back to his room.

He returned to the original owner’s bedroom. It wasn’t small, but it was nowhere near as well-decorated as Shen QingYu’s room. After all, he hadn’t grown up here.

But Shen QingYu had lived with this family since childhood. His room was equipped with his favorite nightlight. In the morning, the aunt made him hot milk with honey before serving anything else, according to his preferences. His parents indulged all his finicky eating habits.

As for “Shen QingShu”, he humbly mentioned that he didn’t like bitter melon. It wasn’t clear if it was intentional or unintentional, but the aunt not only continued to cook it, she served it to him several times.

The bedroom of “Shen QingShu” had been converted from a guest room, so the curtains were just thin gauze and not very good at blocking light. He mentioned it once but no one did anything.

Looking at the blackout curtains the original owner installed by himself, Shen QingShu shook his head, lay down on the bed and began to browse Weibo.

He was a celebrity, so he was in the habit of checking his microblog. Otherwise how would he know why his black fans were in spasms? His opponents were constantly stomping their feet.

But this world’s entertainment industry was obviously different from his own. After becoming this Shen QingShu, he seemed to have stepped into a new world. Before he even noticed, he spent the rest of the day learning about the current stars and entertainment companies of this world.

After reading about the entertainment circle for a while and figuring out the pros and cons of various companies, he mapped out the major and minor entertainment discussion forums and registered an account. Then he leisurely changed his clothes and got ready for the blind date.

The blind date was scheduled for six P.M., which was the right time for dinner. If the two people hit it off, they could catch a movie. If things didn’t go as well, they could leave after they ate. It was a good choice.

Shen QingShu finished packing up and walked out. As soon as he left the room, he saw an innocent-looking young man standing not far from the door.

The other party had clear eyes that revealed a vague sense of innocence. The corners of his lips were slightly curved, which suggested friendliness. But this was, of course, Shen QingYu, the green tea spirit.

Shen QingYu walked up to him and said, “Gege, are you going out? You’re actually going on a blind date with Qi Ge?”

Shen QingShu was indifferent. “Yeah.”

“Then make sure to have a good talk with Qi Ge this time. You’re obviously not Qi Ge’s type, and I know you were just dumped by that trash Li Hui, but if you sit quietly and listen to what Qi Ge says and meet all his requirements, I think he’ll probably give you a chance. Gege, you have to seize this opportunity, okay? If you miss this village, you won’t find such a good blind date again.”

Shen QingShu: …

Sure enough, as soon as he opened his mouth it was the same old green tea.

Shen QingShu tsked. “I thought everyone knew it was illegal for demons to exist in the modern era? How can a green tea spirit like you still walk around? If you take a bath, people who don’t know any better will think our family’s making tea.”

Shen QingYu was stunned for a moment. Then he smiled slightly and said, “Gege, what are you talking about?”

“Don’t you understand Chinese? It’s true I haven’t studied your special green tea dialect—after all, how can a human possibly speak green tea dialect? All a human can do is pick tea, fry tea, make tea, and steep tea. Which do you like the most? I can help you out with all of them.”

Shen QingYu: …

Shen QingYu slowly knitted his brow and put on a sad expression. “Is there something I did to make you angry, gege? I only want what’s best for you, gege.”

“Wow, what a strong green tea odor. Are you going to cry? Do you know why I often have tears in my eyes?” Shen QingShu added gently, “Because the reek of your tea stings my eyes.”

He pushed Shen QingYu away with one hand. “Let’s go, little green tea. Go find your teacup and teapot and perform your tea ceremony. I’m too superficial to like tea. If someone tries to show me tea ceremony, I’ll show them military boxing.”

With that, he stopped paying attention to Shen QingYu and calmly walked down the stairs.

The original owner had such a meek temper he was actually bullied by that little green tea. If he dared to show his tea ceremony in front of Shen QingShu again, Shen QingShu would pluck out all his leaves.

—

The author has something to say:

QingQing: I know what green tea tastes like. Watch this~

Shen QingYu: Hate it!

Han Cheng: A blind date??? Blind date! ! !

TL Notes:

I learned that another tl has picked up this series, which isn’t surprising,  it’s a great novel! It sounds like they have some chapters stockpiled, so it may take a couple weeks for me to catch up. Fortunately my main series is wrapping up soon, at which point this will become my main.

If you follow my other projects, you’re aware that I post daily. This series has a lot of double-length chapters so I might not be able to maintain the same pace unless I split chapters…. I haven’t decided how to handle that yet.

For the record: I don’t and will not refer to any other translation when I work on chapters. If you find mistakes in my tl, please be kind and inform me! I will work hard to improve. Also, please avoid spreading green tea in the comments. Everyone is free to tl whatever series they want, it has nothing to do with me. TY!!! Peace and best wishes! (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥

pretty faces – 好看的皮囊 – “good-looking skin bag”

stole a dragon and substituted a phoenix – 偷龙转凤 – Also means: to steal a male child and substitute a female child

civet cat for a prince – 狸猫换太子 – Refers to a traditional story about a skinned civet cat that was substituted for a baby in an Imperial harem. Also means: to switch an item for something another party doesn’t want without their knowledge

green tea – 绿茶 – “Green tea bitch” (绿茶婊 – lǜ chá biǎo) is a common Internet slang term. It refers to women who are pure in appearance but gain fame and fortune by seducing men or selling themselves. More broadly, it means someone who puts on a show of being innocent but is actually greedy and malicious

green tea essence – 绿茶精 – lǜ chá jīng – There are a couple of things going on here. “Jing” can mean essence, as in concentrated extract of green tea, and it can also mean “demon” or “spirit”. In this chapter, MC is basically suggesting that SQY is concentrated green tea, or perhaps even a green tea spirit who cultivated so long and skillfully that he succeeded in gaining human form

white lotus – 白莲 – Another very common Internet slang term. It refers to people who are pure and innocent in appearance. Originally that’s all it meant, but it’s been used so often to describe nasty two-faced hypocrites that the meaning has become blurred. Many people now use it as a synonym for green tea bitch, which makes it a bit redundant

Virgin Mary – 圣母 – virgin – It’s common for people to say they’re not “the Virgin Mary”, meaning they aren’t perfectly pure, compassionate, endlessly forgiving, and good. But whenever I see a character in a novel say this, it means they look out for themselves and are willing to take revenge on people who wrong them

damn the consequences – 自暴自弃 – be backward and have no urge to make progress; abandon oneself; acting violently and throwing oneself away; be resigned to one’s backwardness

the aunt (made him hot milk) – 阿姨 – Āyí – Form of address for a woman of one’s parents’ generation. The word “aunt” here also means a domestic servant of the family, most likely a housekeeper etc.

bitter melon – 苦瓜 – Also known as bitter gourd, balsam pear – An oblong fruit with pointed ends and nodules on its skin, with a bitter taste. In Chinese cuisine it’s typically served in stir-fries, soups, dim sum, and herbal teas

If you miss this village… – A common meme: “If you miss this village, there won’t be another one”, so don’t miss your chance to buy petrol, food, etc.

demons (are illegal) – 精 – jīng – Alternatively: daemon, fiend, incubus, spirit

illegal for demons to exist in the modern era – 不是说好了建国后不能成精吗 – Don’t they say spirits can’t transform after the founding of the P.R.C.? – This refers to a common, humorous explanation for why there are no ghosts, demons, immortal cultivators etc. in the modern era: they were banned after the founding of the country. I used the word “exist” but the actual word is “成”, which means “become”, as in “a spirit who cultivated until they gained human form”, but it’s difficult to fit that into snappy dialogue

fry tea – 炒茶 – A traditional method for preparing raw, dried tea leaves by stir-frying them in a pan

why I often have tears in my eyes – 为什么我的眼里常含泪水 – From the concluding lines of the poem “I Love This Land” (我爱这土地) by Ai Qing (艾青), 1938. “Why do I often have tears in my eyes? / Because I love this land deeply….”

tea ceremony – 茶艺 – chá yì – tea art

Untranslated terms:

didi – 弟弟 – younger brother; a term for a man of the same generation but younger than yourself

gege – 哥哥 – older brother; a term for a man of the same generation but older than yourself

Transliterated names, titles, and places—new in this chapter:

Mrs. Shen – 沈家夫人, 沈夫人 – Chén Jiā fūrén, Chén fūrén

Guo Hong – 郭红

Shen QingYu – 沈箐雨

Shen Fu – 沈父 – Father Shen, Mr. Shen

Shen Mu – 沈母 – Mother Shen, Mrs. Shen

Notre Dame in Paris – 巴黎圣母院

Xiao Shu – 小疏 – Nickname for MC

Qi Ge – 启哥

Xiao Yu – 小雨 – Nickname for Shen QingYu

Li Hui – 李晖