Book 4: Chapter 1: Patch 1.0: Settling In

Ryouta brings the final boxes out of the rented autovan and sets them down on the pavement in front of his new house to catch a breather.

He still can’t really believe that he gets to actually say he owns his own house now. Though, it’s not like he bought it with even a dollar of his own money.

Instead, Alice’s more-than-generous would-be-king of a father has bought it for Ryouta, Alice, Serra, and Cassandra.

While Ryouta did not need to get anybody’s approval for moving out, nor did Alice seeing as how her father was the one pushing the idea onto them, Serra and Cassandra had a rougher time with their parents.

Serra’s birth mother was fine with her moving out to live with her boyfriend, but the rest of her parents were distraught over everything that might go wrong. Her dads taught her as much as they could leading up to her moving out regarding how to take care of a house, how to repair everything around it, how to change light bulbs, and so on.

Or rather, they tried to teach her those things.

Instead, it ended up being some of her more masculine mothers who had to correct their husbands and teach Serra the proper way to take care of a house.

As for Cassandra – well, every time that she’s on the phone with either of her parents, everybody gets to hear the shouting match that goes on.

“Your arms will get big and strong with how much exercise you have been getting!” Alice tells Ryouta, pinching his arm after he’s picked the boxes back up.

“I thought you liked me soft?” Ryouta teases back at her.

“I do! That is why I said we should hire others to be doing this for us.”

“I’m not going to let your dad spend even more than he already has. Me and Cass can do all the lifting ourselves.”

Speaking of Cassandra, she walks to him, grabs one of the boxes stacked on top of the one he’s carrying, and takes it from him before huffing and stomping back into their new house.

“I take it that her latest conversation did not go well,” Alice says.

“Yeah… her parents really weren’t happy,” Ryouta says.

Serra walks up to Ryouta and Alice and sticks her arms out.

Ryouta leans over so that Serra can firmly grab onto the only remaining box stacked on top of the one he’s holding, and when she gets it in her hands, she almost drops it from how heavy it is! With a cute grunt and a struggling expression, Serra slowly walks into the house with the box.

“I think Serra’s the one who might need some more muscles,” Ryouta says.

“I would prefer her to stay small and petite as she is! She reminds me of the dolls I would dress up as a child. Dolls should not have muscles!” Alice exclaims.

“You dressed up dolls as a kid? I guess that explains why you’re so into dressing up and cosplaying.”

“Dressing up – yes, that would likely explain it. As far as ‘cosplay’ goes, however, that is because I know you love it! My hero just loves for his girlfriend to dress up as other girls as she fails to satisfy him as her real self,” Alice says, dramatically raising one of her hands up to her forehead as she talks.

She wheels herself up the ramp connected to their new porch and holds the door open for Ryouta.

“You’re as delusional as ever, and thanks,” Ryouta says.

The sound of Cassandra’s phone vibrating and ringing fills the room, and just as quickly as it begins, it ends with her picking the phone up and turning it off. “I told that bastard to leave me alone,” she groans, tempted to just smash her phone.

“Is he still that mad?” Ryouta asks, setting the box he’s been carrying down.

“Every day! Every single day! Fuck! I finally date somebody actually worth dating and he won’t get off my ass! I’m not a kid anymore!” Cassandra shouts while stomping back and forth. “His fucking complex is borderline creepy! Like why the fuck does he care so much that I’m in love with a guy and wanting to live with him? Fuck!”

The frequency of expletives that Cassandra uses in her daily vocabulary has been increasing ever since she told her parents that not only is she dating somebody, but that she’s moving in with that same person.

“Please, Cassandra, let us focus on the happy occasion instead of worrying about them! They will not be able to interfere as long as you keep your phone turned off. Let’s be happy and excited about our new life together!” Alice says.

“I know, I know. Sorry. I’m just fucking pissed off. The bastard was already annoying before any of this, and now he’s a million times worse. He tried telling me that he’d stop worrying and let me do whatever I want if I’d give him our address, but I know he would be showing up here within a day to bitch and yell at us all in person,” Cassandra says while rubbing her forehead.

Ryouta holds Cassandra by her hips and places a kiss on her forehead. “Sorry you’ve got to deal with them. But, like Alice said, let’s just try to focus on the good stuff now. It’s not like you need your phone anyways, so you can just leave it off,” he says.

“My friends want pictures of our place. They made me promise that I would keep them up to date with everything and let them ‘live vicariously’ through me or else they wouldn’t let me quit that shithole.”

Ryouta takes his phone out from his pocket and hands it over to her. “You know their numbers? Then just message them from my phone.”

She stares intently down at his phone.

“I already deleted all the weird hentai I had on it,” Ryouta explains. “No secret folders are safe with Serra around.”

Serra sneezes while lazily sprawled out on top of their new couch.

“Is your mom still as mad as him?” Ryouta asks Cassandra.

“She’s getting over it, but she’s still being a bitch. Probably just jealous I actually know how to have a successful relationship instead of getting divorced five times and counting,” Cassandra says, causing both Ryouta and Alice to cringe from her harsh words toward her own mother.

“Well, maybe she’ll learn from you. You don’t plan on divorcing me, right?”

Cassandra glares up at him. “Of course I’m not. Are you?”

“You know I’m not,” he says, kissing her again.

“I know… sorry. I’m just so pissed off and stressed out over this bullshit.”

Alice, having snuck up behind Cassandra, grabs her by her hips and pulls the blonde down onto her lap.

“H-hey! What do you think you’re doing?” Cassandra asks, squirming around on top of Alice’s lap with reddened cheeks.

“There, there,” Alice says, keeping one hand wrapped around Cassandra’s waist while petting the top of her head with her other hand. “Nobody is getting divorced, and now we may all happily live together! I already told you before, but I shall say it again: let us be happy today.”

Cassandra pouts but relaxes her body.

Once more, Ryouta is beaten to getting any action with Alice’s lap.

However, there is somebody who wants to give Ryouta some attention, and that somebody is a certain munchkin climbing up his back like a koala and wrapping her legs and arms around him.

Serra rests her head on Ryouta’s shoulder and licks the lobe of his ear.

Ryouta blushes and shivers, placing his hands underneath her thighs to keep her held up.

“Hmph. You never give me piggyback rides,” Cassandra says.

“Is… is that something you want?” Ryouta asks her.

“It’s – it’s not like I want one or anything… maybe.”

“That does sound rather pleasant! My hero, you are certainly going to develop more muscles from carrying us all around on your back,” Alice says.

“What am I? A spider mom? I can’t just carry you all around on my back,” Ryouta says.

“Of course not! You must start off with only one of us at a time to build up your strength. Serra will be able to cling to the center of your back, and then Cassandra and I shall cling to the sides of it!”

Ryouta pictures how that would work in his mind. He just imagines himself as a spider with his regular human head, and then his girlfriends as spiders with their normal heads all sitting on top of his back like spiders on their mom.

He shakes that disturbing picture out of his head.

“Think of it as practice for when we have children! I am sure that our many children will wish to hang all over you!” Alice says.

Cassandra nods and so does Serra since she’s been reading Alice’s lips.

“It’s – it’s not like we’re going to be having kids anytime soon,” Ryouta says.

“Why not?” Cassandra asks without realizing how blunt that question and its implications are.

Ryouta always thought that having his own house would be a nice, easy life.

He now realizes just how foolish that was.