Book 4: Chapter 64: Patch 11.0

Seven wooly, sheep-like creatures are either eating grass, getting petted by Fenrir, or are staring at Tabitha as she stares back at them.

“Really?” Tabitha asks.

The target of her question doesn’t even need her to look at him nor say his name to know that she’s talking to him.

“There’s a good reason for this,” Fenrir answers.

“And what would that be?”

“Fluff.”

“Fluff?”

“Fluff.”

“What does fluff have to do with bein’ a reason?”

“Does there need to be a reason beyond fluff?”

“What kind of reason even is ‘fluff?’”

“Fluff is fluff. I don’t see what you’re not understanding.”

“Ya realize you’re about two fluffs away from getting’ fluffed by my hammer, right?”

“Serra, back me up here.”

“They’re fluffy,” Serra says, nodding her head.

“Obviously, but what’s that have to do with anythin’?” Tabitha asks.

“Tabs,” Cassiel says and sighs, “I don’t think you’re going to get another reason out of him. He’s been obsessed with them ever since he saw them.”

“He has been rather enamored with them since his return,” Corwin says.

“Nell,” Fenrir says, “I want you to make fluffy sweaters for every single one of us with their wool.”

Nell’s eyes light up as she excitedly nods her head, “Of course! That sounds wonderful! We could all have matching, wool sweaters! That would be both adorable and comfortable!”

“See? Nell understands.”

“They are pretty fluffy,” Oleander says as he pets one of the creatures on the head. “They would totes be super comfy to turn into clothes.” The sheep looks up at him with fearful eyes. “I – I just mean turning your wool into clothes. Not the rest of you.” The sheep relaxes and goes back to enjoying the head scratches and pets.

“I bet wearing something that soft would make girls want to hug me,” Rao says, scratching his chin.

“We – we might be able to use their wool for trading with the other towns,” Azalabulia says.

Tabitha looks at the taller, bustier woman and shoots her a thumbs-up before saying, “Now we’re talkin’. See? At least one of you can give me a good reason to keep these oversized cotton balls around.”

“In my defense,” Nell says, “creating new clothes for us all would be quite useful! Are you not tired of wearing the same clothes every single day? I know that they may not smell dirty as real clothes would, but variety is good!”

“I want to see Tabs dressed up in cute clothes,” Serra says.

“H-hey! I don’t need to wear anythin’ ‘cute.’ All of you can do that, but I’m good!” Tabitha says.

Nobody buys it.

“What’s this?” Fenrir asks. “Could it be that you actually want to dress up all cute?”

“Hammer,” Tabitha threatens.

“Come on, you’ve already admitted before that you love magical girl anime because of how empowering it is. What’s wrong with a girl wanting to wear cute things?”

“I like the themes, not the clothes!”

“Come now, Tabitha! You would look precious in fluffy clothes!” Nell says. “I can just imagine you wearing thick pants, a fluffy jacket, and a large hat covered in wool! We could even decorate your hammer with some of their wool, such as giving it a comfier grip! Does that not sound wonderful?”

“Not at all.”

“It’ll help you be popular with the boys. Boys love fluff,” Serra says, elbowing Fenrir.

“It’s true,” Fenrir says and nods.

“Ya really think I of all want people to be more popular with degenerates and oafs like these punks?” Tabitha says, looking around at all of the men present other than Corwin. “Actually, Corwin, even you’re a degenerate for playin’ along with the deer boy.”

Corwin was proud at first to be an exception to Tabitha, but now that pride has been deflated and he is reduced to being but another degenerate. At least that makes Oleander like him even more.

“Always the stubborn one,” Nell says with a pout. “Just let me make you even cuter!”

“Nope,” Tabitha rejects her once again, but then she turns around with a smile and says, “Actually… alright. I’ll let ya do what ya want, but there’s one condition.”

“Oh? What would this mysterious condition be?”

“Girl’s night.”

“Girl’s night?”

“Right. All of us girls goin’ out and doin’ our own thing without any of these oafs taggin’ along. Just us girls doin’ girl things.”

“Can I come?” Oleander asks, batting his eyelashes.

“No.”

Oleander pouts and brings out the fake tears, but Tabitha flicks him on his forehead to cement the rejection.

“A night with only us girls?” Nell repeats. “Hmm. That does sound like it could be entertaining! I am rather surprised to realize that we have not had a night like this already.”

“Yeah, that could be fun,” Cassiel says.

“Traitor,” Fenrir says with crossed arms and a false pout.

“Jealous,” Serra calls him out.

“Wh-what would we even do?” Azalabulia asks.

Meanwhile, Fenrir’s hands go back to petting the sheep since he can’t keep his hands away from them for long.

“Talk, learn about self-defense against sexual harassment, let the serpent girl do whatever she wants to how we look – that sort of stuff,” Tabitha explains.

“H-hey now,” Fenrir says. “What’s the sexual harassment defense for?”

Tabitha narrows her eyes at him.

“You know, if anything, it’s Serra who does the sexual harassing.”

Cassiel and Nell nod their heads while Serra smugly grins.

“Ya never know,” Tabitha says. “They’ve got to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.”

“Tabitha,” Nell says, “I am already more than prepared for the worst-case scenario. I have fantasized about it hundreds of times before! If only it was less of a scenario and more of reality…”

“I’ll teach ya to fantasize about self-defense and giant robots instead.”

Nell turns her head and pouts.

“Now then, with these new additions, we’re goin’ to have to set up a pen for them,” Tabitha says. “A temporary one close to the water will be good enough for now, but they’ll need to be moved farther out once we start buildin’ everythin’ up.”

“Sounds good to me,” Fenrir says. “Nell, think you can handle shearing them and handling their wool and all of that?”

“Of course, my hero! Though, first I will require proper shears in order to do so without harming them. Ah, to think, a woman of my status being reduced to shearing livestock,” Nell says, holding her hands to her cheeks.

Fenrir wants to call her out on enjoying this too much but decides against it since her fantasies get rejected enough as is.

“I can make ya some shears,” Tabitha says. “By the way, if ya haven’t noticed yet, the bridge is up and workin’. Tall enough for my baby to fit under her, and we can replace her with a proper drawbridge later on. For now, we’ll be able to take the wagons and horses to and from that town up north without usin’ her.”

“Sounds like it’s good enough for now then. Good job,” Fenrir says, his hands still stroking through the wooly fluff.