Book 6: Chapter 18:

After a night of relaxing with his girlfriends via sundaes, overpriced drinks, and amateur music, it was finally the time of meeting – the time of the meeting between Ryouta and Aiko after so long. Though, it would not be a meeting in reality because of various reasons. There was the fact that Ryouta and his girlfriends moved away from the city that they once shared with Aiko, and then there was the even more important fact that his girlfriends did not trust her to be alone with him in reality. Not yet, at least.

If Aiko really wanted to make things better, she was going to have to take one step at a time.

But before she could take any steps, she wished to have a private conversation with Ryouta. Ryouta had no idea if what she wanted was to try something behind his girlfriends’ backs or if she genuinely wanted closure of some sorts. All he knew was what Serra had told him before.

After realizing just how different she was the last time that he saw her, there was no telling what she would be like this time. The Aiko that he was childhood friends with was gone – she grew up and became an entirely different woman and one that he never could have expected.

And so, as Fenrir, he sat on the hammock across from where Aiko – or rather, Nyaiko’s avatar was. After all, her avatar was still with them, sleeping in The Shoebill’s hull, ever since she parted ways with them.

Everybody else knew to stay away from the boat so that Fenrir and Nyaiko could have the alone time that they needed. Of course, Nell could still feel everything that Fenrir felt, so she stayed with Cassiel, Serra, and Azalabulia to let them know if anything seemed wrong. As guilty as it might have made her feel to be “spying” on Fenrir like this, she had his consent.

Only one other was allowed in the boat with Fenrir and she was currently busy scratching behind her ear.

Rock.

“Here,” Fenrir said, beckoning Rock over.

Rock happily approached him and leaned her head up onto his lap so that he could rub the itchy spot behind her ear. He couldn’t scratch her because that would be scratching nails against rock, but he could still apply pressure and rub the spot to the best of his ability which was more than enough to cure Rock of her itchy issue.

How a dog made out of rock could acquire itches in the first place was a different question, one that would likely never be answered.

“She’ll be here anytime,” Fenrir said, rubbing the rest of Rock’s head now that her itch was taken care of. “Make sure to be a good girl, not that I have to tell you that.”

Rock barked with a wag of her tail. Obviously, she would always be a good girl without even being told that!

“I’m kind of nervous. I have no idea what’s going to happen, but I have a feeling that whatever happens… things won’t be the same. Not between me and her, anyways. What do you think?”

Rock tilted her head to the side and barked.

“I see. That’s a very thorough analysis you’ve got there.”

She barked again!

“You really think so?”

This time, Rock nodded her head and then barked.

“You’re too smart for me.”

To comfort him, she put her front legs up on his lap so that she could lean up and lick his face… only for her added weight to push the hammock back too far, resulting Fenrir falling from it and landing underneath Rock. That was alright, though, because it made licking his face even easier! It was all according to plan. After all, she was just too smart for him.

But really, she was just going with the flow and licking his face.

The only part of Rock that Fenrir had any issue with was that, because she was made of rock and all that, she was incredibly heavy. This made it more than difficult whenever he wanted to push her off of him to free himself from her excessive licking. Her being the size of a wolf did not help, either. Large and heavy, it was like an actual boulder kept him pinned down as she assaulted his face with her tongue. This problem only became even worse when Rock decided to lie down on top of his chest.

“What’s that expression?” Cassiel asked, looking at Nell.

“It is strange,” Nell answered. “I could feel that he felt stressed, but now he feels happy and… in danger?”

“What? He’s in danger?”

“Ah, no – well, I am not sure. He is most certainly more happy than… in danger. I am afraid that I am not able to be more specific than – ah, he is alright now. The danger has left. Only happiness remains!” Nell said with a clap of her hands and a smile.

“Should… we check on him?” Azalabulia asked.

“He’s playing with Rock,” Serra explained.

“How can you tell?” Cassiel asked.

“Let Rock tackle you or nap on you sometime.”

“How do we know that it wasn’t Aiko?”

“Aiko would most likely make him even more stressed once she arrives, and I doubt that she would make him so happy while also causing him to feel at danger,” Nell said.

Serra nodded. “Yeah, that.”

“I guess that makes sense. So, he’s just goofing off with Rock while waiting?” Cassiel asked.

“Rock is good for moral support.”

“You sound like a caveman with an early version of the stress ball.”

“Cavegirl.”

“You sound like a cavegirl with an early version of the stress ball.”

“Stress rock.”

“What happened to being a pirate?”

“Cavegirl can be pirate with stress rock,” Serra said, trying her best to play up talking like an early human. “Oogh.”

“Was that… was that supposed to be a caveman grunt or something?”

“Cavegirl noise.”

Cassiel was curious how the others were reacting to Serra’s silliness, so she looked to Nell and Azalabulia. Nell had her hands over her mouth so that it could not be seen just how much she was smiling at Serra’s preciousness, and Azalabulia looked like she was deep in thought about something. “Something wrong?” Cassiel asked Azalabulia.

“Cavegirl pirate. This isn’t exactly in the field of what I teach my students, but I don’t think boats were invented yet back then,” Azalabulia explained.

“You don’t have to take the cavegirl pirate thing seriously.”

“I’m curious if any of them might have found ways to traverse water that were lost to time. If they figured out fire, they surely could have figured out that certain materials float on water by observation.”

“Cavegirl pirate use big leaf for boat,” Serra said. “Ahh.”

“Listen,” Cassiel said, “it doesn’t have the same effect if you go ‘ahh’ after you’re already done talking.”

“Ahh. Cavegirl pirate, ahh, use big leaf, ahh, for boat with stress rock, ahh.”

“I – wait… Nell, are you crying?”

“She – she is too cute, my heart cannot handle this!” Nell explained. “Serra, please let me hug you. I feel as if my heart will burst forth from my chest if I do not embrace you!”

“Nell, ahh, hug Serra,” Serra said, opening her arms.

Nell was quick to wrap her arms around Serra’s smaller frame. “First the penguin, then a dreadful pirate, and now a cavegirl! Serra, you would not mind if I were to order costumes to dress you up in, would you? I will even modify them to be absolutely perfect for you!”

“Serra want do, ahh, sex thing while wearing, ahh.”

“Well, of course! Half of the fun in dressing up is enjoying one another while dressed up! So long as the clothes come off before anything gets messy, there are not any problems.”

“Good luck convincing Fen of that,” Cassiel said.

“Hmm?”

“He’s the kind of guy who would want you to stay dressed up while doing it.”

“Ah, that is true. In that case, we will have to save the dress fun for each other! He will only be allowed to watch.”

Azalabulia raised her hand and asked, “I thought… you would have liked having your clothes ruined?”

Nell’s expression became much more serious. “Not when they are real, quality clothes. The same applies to my wigs. Their condition is to remain as perfect as possible. I have read many horror stories online of women’s boyfriends ruining their expensive costumes by having sex while wearing them. A man’s fluid is the worst nightmare of a woman’s outfit, especially of those that require delicate care!”

“Since when would you not just buy a replacement?” Cassiel asked.

“Clothes are different unless the fantasy is good enough. Unfortunately, some fantasies simply require the ruining of clothes in order to be truly realized. Ah…”

“What?”

“It is my hero.”

Back in The Shoebill, Fenrir had returned to sitting on the hammock while Rock laid down curled at his feet. Rock was the first one to lift her head when Aiko immersed herself as Nyaiko once more. Even before Fenrir noticed, Rock looked up at Nyaiko and gave the air a couple of sniffs.

All Fenrir could do once he noticed her avatar coming to life was watch as she stretched her arms and legs out within her hammock, already behaving like a cat. A soft mewl even escaped her lips as she stretched, but the noise seemed to surprise her which told Fenrir that it wasn’t exactly intentional.

Finally, Nyaiko opened her eyes and looked over at Fenrir. A smile quickly spread across her lips before fading into a more neutral look as she leaned up. “Old habits, nya.” She giggled before looking down and remembering just how absurd she made her chest size, causing her to cringe. “I… forgot how big I made them.”

“You did make them pretty oversized,” Fenrir said, trying to act like nothing is awkward or weird between them by just going with the flow.

“I finally came to terms with all the stupid things I did only to get reminded of more as soon as I come here. Is there a way to make them smaller?”

“I have no idea. You’ll have to ask your virtual assistant.”

“I’ll do that later. Anyways, uh… hi.”

“Hey again, Aiko. Or should I keep calling you Nyaiko?”

“Just Aiko for now… Ryouta.”

“Got it.”

The two sat across from one another in awkward silence as Rock licked the undersides of her back paws.

“I’m sorry,” Nyaiko said, breaking the silence first.

“It’s alright,” Fenrir replied. “You—”

“No, it isn’t, and you aren’t allowed to say that it is. You know that I was acting crazy. That was why you had to call me out in front of everybody.”

“I feel kind of guilty when you put it that way.”

“Don’t, it was what I needed.”

“Alright.”

“It really was. Hearing that from you… made me realize that my life wasn’t suddenly going to get better and be what I always dreamed of just because you were back. I was so crazy, hah…”

“I… don’t really know what to say to that.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything yet. Can you just, umm… listen to me ramble for a bit?”

“You know I can.”

“Thanks. Lots has changed since I saw you last. First, sorry for not responding to any of your texts. I know it was obvious that I was ignoring you since I still talked to Serra every now and then, but… I was afraid that talking to you before I was ready would undo all the progress I was making.”

“It’s alright.”

“I started going to therapy, but that only lasted for a couple of weeks. I, umm… I didn’t hurt myself, but I really wanted to. I was so afraid that I wasn’t going to be able to resist that I called my therapist and she helped me admit myself to a psychiatric hospital the next day after calming me down. I guess it all became too much. I had this delusional fantasy that all I had to do was wait for you to come back into my life and then everything would be perfect. I’d be your perfect little wife and you’d be my perfect husband. I thought that you would take me away from all the fears and nightmares I had – that you could make me stop feeling like I did twenty-four-seven. So, when I found you… I was only using you. I – I don’t think I ever really loved you like I tried to make myself think I did. I only made myself think that I did for an easy way out. I wanted you to fix all of my problems for me, and I thought that you would if I made myself perfect for you. I didn’t know how to fix myself, so I tried changing myself to be perfect for you so… so that you would fix me. But now I know how selfish that was of me, and cruel.”

She left Fenrir speechless. Sure, there were things that he wanted to say, but nothing that seemed right to say. He wanted to say that he wished he could have fixed her, he wanted to say that he wished he would have realized something was wrong sooner, he wanted to say that she wasn’t being selfish and cruel… but would saying those be to help her, or would they be to make him feel less guilty?

Listening to his childhood friend talk about all of this – there was no way that it wouldn’t make him feel guilty. It didn’t help that a part of him always believed that people could help and change each other for the better – that people could save one another from their demons even if most cases proved the opposite.

All he could think of saying was related to what he wished he could have done for her. He always wanted to protect his girlfriends and try to fix anything that was ever wrong, and he wanted to do the same here. It extended beyond girlfriends, too. Oleander, Tabitha, Rao, Bone, the rest of his old friends – he always wanted to fix any problems that they had if he could. If there was something he could do, he did it. He hated the idea of sitting around and doing nothing while leaving them to figure things out on their own.

But hearing what his childhood friend said about only wanting him to do that for her out of her own selfish desire… hasn’t he also been selfish by always trying to fix everybody’s problems? Sure, it usually worked out for him and even resulted in dating one of his loves, Nell, but should he have really tried so hard for her in the first place? Did he want to save her for her, or did he want to save her so that he wouldn’t feel guilty not doing anything?

In the case of the latter, would that even be bad? While it might have been selfish to do something out of guilt rather than for somebody’s sake, was that really a bad thing if the end result was the same?

He couldn’t even remember why he did it anymore. All he could remember was that he loved Nell and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her now, just like with his other girlfriends.

Well, there was one more thing that he knew. He knew that he really wanted to open his mouth to apologize to his childhood friend so that he could get rid of the guilt that he felt, and that was why he just needed to keep his mouth shut. It wasn’t about him. It was about her. Especially after hearing what Serra and Cassiel had to say to him… this was one of those times where he just had to force himself to listen and not regret being incapable of “fixing” her, nor try to fix her now.

“And I realized,” Nyaiko continued, “that only I can change who I am, and that it’s going to be really, really hard. That’s why I’m trying my best. I’m not trying to change for anybody but myself anymore. To keep doing that… I need to apologize to you, and I – the easiest, umm, way to do this would be to apologize and cut you out of my life, but… I want to stay friends with you. I want a healthy friendship with you and Serra and the others that doesn’t get ruined by me acting so crazy. Even if I was trying to use you before… you’re still the Ryouta who sacrificed yourself for me. S-so… I’m sorry, and do you think that we can be friends?”

Fenrir, finally being given the chance to say something, said, “You don’t even need to ask that. We’ve never stopped being friends, and that includes now. As for everything that happened before, I’m happy that you’re making so much progress with yourself, and… I forgive you.” He wasn’t sure if that was what he should have said, or what she needed to hear, but it was the genuine truth. While he might have still felt bad regarding his inability to help her before, she was clearly helping herself, and that was something to be proud of. She didn’t need anybody to save her; she was fully capable of saving herself now. “I’m proud of you, Aiko.”

Her eyes widened before each of her hands were brought up to rub them in a catlike manner with the back of her wrists. “Thanks, Ryouta,” she said with a breaking voice. “It really means a lot to hear you say that, and – and I promise to behave from now on. No more being crazy.”

“We’ll leave the crazy delusions to Nell and Aza.”

“About them…”

“Yeah?”

“I think it would be best if… I don’t get that close to you again. I want to be friends with you, but I’m afraid that I might slip back to how I used to be if I get too close to you again, but my therapist really wants me to have friends that I hang out with and do things with, so… would it be okay if I spend more time with them than you?”

“You don’t even have to ask me that. I don’t own you and I don’t own them, so you can all hang out together as much as you want to without me.”

“Do you think they’ll want me after how I behaved?”

“Honestly, they might be a little bit suspicious, but I’m sure that you can prove yourself to them. As long as you’re open and honest with them, they’ll respect you. You’re already good friends with Serra, and the others care about you, too. They’ll gladly accept you if you’re serious about all of this.”

“Do you really think so?”

“You know it.”

Nyaiko smiled and finished wiping at her eyes before standing up and approaching him. Fenrir assumed that she was going in for a hug only to get offered her hand instead. Having his childhood friend only feel comfortable shaking his hand instead of hugging him like she normally would was strange, but it was for the best. He gladly shook her hand.

“Thanks, Ryouta. Can you ask the others if they wouldn’t mind maybe hanging out tomorrow at the same time? I need to go exercise still and then take my pills which will knock me out… and I think I can only handle one of these confrontations a day, hah…”

“You did a good job today, so that’s alright. I’ll let them know and Serra cn text you their answer later.”

“Okay, and thanks again, Ryouta.”

“You keep on thanking me even though you’re the one doing all the work. Thank yourself more.”

“Thanks, Ryouta and Aiko.”

“Thanking me is still unnecessary, but that’s better.”

“Nyaha. Oh, I’m not sure if I’ll keep the cat thing going on. I kind of like it… but the boobs have to go.”

“Your back will appreciate you.”

“I can’t even hug myself with these.”

“The boobs are too powerful.”

“I still want them bigger so that I can experience actually having some, but… they’re being shrunk big time.”

“That’s fair.” Fenrir wasn’t disappointed at all, but he knew that Cassiel would be. Cassiel loved women’s chests that were even bigger than her already sizeable bust. Fortunately for her, she still had Azalabulia.

“Anyways… I’m going to get going now. Can I use the hammock again?”

“You can use it anytime you need it.”

Nyaiko nodded and returned to her hammock. Though, just before waking from the game, she looked over and said, “See you soon, Ryouta. And I promise not to ignore your texts anymore.” She then woke from virtual reality before he could say anything back.

Fenrir breathed out a sigh of deep relief before sitting on the floor… or rather, sitting on top of Rock.

Rock kept her head low the entire time since she could tell that something serious was going on. She stayed out of it unless she felt like her interruption was needed. Now, she was being used as a chair, and she didn’t even mind in the slightest. It wasn’t like Fenrir was heavy enough to harm her through her rocky skin. Sitting on her was like sitting on a boulder – a boulder with a wagging tail and a panting tongue.