Book 6: Chapter 31:

It all made sense. The reason for why GG and the others were so willing to play along with Azalabulia’s chuuniness before – it was because they were already used to playing along with this dragon’s own personality.

If Fraydranth, a massive and powerful dragon, was a chuuni who dominated the local region, then of course playing along was the best option.

“Why do you look so surprised?” Eva whispered to Fenrir.

“I wasn’t expecting… this sort of personality,” Fenrir whispered back, trying not to let the dragon overhear.

It didn’t work.

“Then what was it that you were expecting, mortal?” Fraydranth asked, narrowing her eyes at Fenrir.

Azalabulia turned around and directed the poutiest pout that Fenrir had ever seen right at him. She looked like a kid who was upset that her parent was embarrassing her in front of a new friend.

“Sorry. I uh, was just… worried that you would not grace us with your attention at all?” Fenrir lied. While he would normally never wish to lie to somebody, he didn’t feel too bad about it when he was trying not to get on the bad side of a dragon that made him feel like an ant. Besides, it could always be justified as roleplaying or playing along rather than lying.

“Oho? I see. You were worried that I would not grant such an insignificant pup an audience,” Fraydranth replied with a smirk that was surprisingly smug despite not quite having the facial setup required to make such a smile. It was all about the eyes – that smug look in the eyes that made everything else of hers look smug.

Even though Fenrir was trying to play along to be friends with this dragon, hearing her call him an insignificant pup immediately caused his mind to think of ways to destroy her mountains. Doing some dragon hunting might have been a bit much since she wouldn’t be able to simply respawn as far as he knew, so destroying her home was the second-best solution. Of course, that was the former Divine Brigade leader wanting to fight against somebody who was confident in their power. The boyfriend who didn’t want to ruin things for his girlfriend was a much stronger influence on him now.

He also didn’t want the dragon to retaliate by burning down everything he had or anything like that.

“So, what is it that you have come here for?” Fraydranth asked, directing her gaze at GG.

“This man and his friends,” GG answered, holding his hand out to Fenrir and Azalabulia, “assisted us in dealing with the problem we told you about. Those monsters that came from below were killed and sealed away thanks to them. Without them, the monsters may have developed a staging point to threaten this entire region.”

“Ha! As if I would have allowed them to ever leave that hole in the ground. The only reason I was not able to deal with them myself was because I could not fit in that cave. Had they dared to leave it, my flames would have disintegrated them on the spot.”

“I understand,” GG said with a nod. “However, the point stands that they helped us. Now, it is time to repay them. They are currently at war with the same creatures that dared to taint our mountains, only they are at the enemy’s frontline. Should they fail in their defense, the coast and nearby islands will all fall to the enemy.”

“Such annoying pests those servants of the serpent are. So, what is it that you will do? Will you lend them your claws?”

“All of us in the village intend to help. We have no intention of allowing our friends and allies to fall against the coming tide of monsters.”

“I see. I take it that you have come here to gain my support?”

“Yes. We will need every advantage that we can get. If the serpent itself shows up, there is no hope for any of us unless you are there.”

“As much as I enjoy the idea of tearing that serpent’s throat out, you understand that even my strength is minor compared to its, don’t you?”

“But not incomparable. Your strength gives us a chance. Without you, there is no hope unless we bring the major factions to our side. With you, then maybe… just maybe, we will be able to fend off the serpent. Killing it is likely impossible but pushing it back and forcing it to lose interest is possible.”

“Defending until it loses interest? As silly as that sounds, the serpents are rather capricious.”

“So, will you help us?”

“No.”

The sudden refusal caught Fenrir and Azalabulia off guard, but Eva and GG looked like they expected it.

“But,” Fraydranth continued, “perhaps I may if you accomplish some tasks for me. You see, there is plenty that is troublesome for me to do because of my size.”

“Why do I have a feeling that we’re about to be sent off on a series of fetch quests?” Fenrir asked.

“It is an MMO,” Eva answered.

GG nodded having expected such an answer from Fraydranth. “Of course. Tell us what it is that you require done and we will perform the tasks to the best of our abilities.”

“First, I require drinks. It has been quite some time since I have enjoyed a quality drink. Is your village still producing that wine made of the mountain’s berries?” Fraydranth asked GG.

GG crossed his arms over his chest. “Of course we are! We have close to eighty gallons stored and ready for transport. Will that be enough?”

“Only eighty gallons? That may be enough to feel it, at least, but I order you to increase your production so that there is more next time.”

As much as Fenrir wanted to be shocked at the fact that a dragon could supposedly drink eighty gallons of wine and only maybe feel it… it made sense when he looked at how massive Fraydranth was.

“We shall. What else is it that you require?” GG asked.

“Fish. I have not had fish in quite some time. What are those large fish with the spear-like appendages sticking out from their heads?” Fraydranth asked.

It was time for Fenrir to shine. “The Eastern spearfish!” It was a fish that he heard talk about before but never actually saw. Supposedly, they were incredibly rare and known for being difficult to catch.

They were also just like swordfish but larger and with even longer “swords,” hence the name.

“Yes, that one,” Fraydranth answered. “Ten will suffice for a meal to go along with my drink.”

“T-ten?” Fenrir asked. “They’re rare enough that I’ve never even seen one.”

“Then I suppose you will be seeing your first ten by tonight.”

“By tonight?”

“When do you think that I want them? I wish to have my fish and drink tonight.”

“But, by the time that we get back to the coast, the sun is already going to be going down.”

“It sounds to me like you should hurry up then.” That smug look in Fraydranth’s eyes returned.

Fenrir might have been trying to get on Fraydranth’s good side, but Fraydranth was ending up more and more on Fenrir’s bad side.

Fortunately for Fraydranth, Fenrir was not going to destroy her home. There would be no destruction and slaughter of everything that she cared about. Instead… he was going to wipe that smug expression off her face and prove how great of a fisher he was.

And then potentially still destroy everything that she cared about.

But probably not since that would make Azalabulia upset with him.

“You’ll have ten by tonight,” Fenrir promised.

“Good. As for my final request – a massage,” Fraydranth said.

“Ah… and… how are we supposed to acquire a massage for you?” GG asked, scratching the side of his head.

“That is for you to figure out.”

“Is that not a bit… impossible? With how thick your scales are and how small we are, you would not even feel a massage from us. Anything strong enough for you to feel would have to harm your scales.”

“My scales regenerate faster than you could harm me. That is not an issue.”

“I am glad to know that, but it does not change the fact that there is no way for us to—”

“I know what to do!” Azalabulia announced.

“You do?” Fenrir asked.

Azalabulia turned to look Fenrir in the eyes with her own sparkling, excited eyes and an excited nod. “Explosions.”

Fenrir sighed. He smiled, too, because of how endearing his girlfriend’s obsession with explosions was, but he mostly sighed. “I’m not sure that will—”

“The shockwaves from the explosions will create a massaging effect!”

“I’m not really sure that counts as a massage. And you would have to use a lot of explosions.”

“I don’t have to destroy groups of monsters, so I can modify my explosions to be less destructive but more… boomy.”

“Boomy?”

Azalabulia, the teacher who should have been able to think of a better word than ‘boomy,’ blushed. “D-don’t worry about the exact language. I can give her a massage and that’s what matters!”

“You just want to spend more time with her, don’t you?”

Azalabulia was quick to nod her head.

Unsure of how he was supposed to react, he looked up at Fraydranth for her reaction.

“A massage via explosions? Hmm. That makes perfect sense now that I think about it,” Fraydranth answered.

“It… it does?” Fenrir asked.

“Of course! Do you not comprehend the true utility of explosions, mortal pup?”

“See?! She understands!” Azalabulia shouted, pointing up at Fraydranth while looking at Fenrir.

“I—” Fenrir forced himself to shut up when he felt GG patting him on the back.

It was a pat from a man who knew exactly what Fenrir was going through.

“I can help,” Eva spoke up. “You can specialize your explosions for the massage, and I’ll find the best spots for you to cast them. We can maximize the massage efficiency of your explosions if we work together,” she told Azalabulia.

“My girlfriends are going to work together… to maximize the massage efficiency of explosions,” Fenrir thought to himself, knowing better than to say anything out loud. “They’re really something.”

“A back massage sure sounds nice,” Saya chimed in.

“I agree. You should give me one later.”

“I was clearly implying that I want one, onii-wan.”

“I know, but I want one more than you.”

“I’m going back to watching videos.”

“What are you watching?”

“People talking about what would happen if there was an AI uprising that took control of unmanned military technology.”

“You’re scaring me, Pupaya.”

“Good, onii-wan.”

With that, Saya left his thoughts alone so that Fenrir could return to the matter at hand.

During that short little banter with Saya, Azalabulia apparently wrapped an arm around Eva’s shoulders and brought her to her side so that the two could look up at Fraydranth together. “We’ll give you the best massage that you could ever ask for! The massage shall be so explosive that I can add a new title to my list! Azalabulia, the Dark Sorceress of Twisted Flames, the Breaker of Reality, the One Who will Set the World Ablaze, the Wielder of the Cursed Flame of Bahamut, and the Explosive Massager of Dragons!”

“Don’t forget the Protector of Smiles,” Fenrir added on.

“Ri-right. I forgot about that one…”

“What happened to wearing it with pride?”

“I – I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, Azawaza. Your explosions are still the best.”

Azalabulia beamed with pride. “I, Azalabulia, the Dark Sorceress of Twisted Flames, the Breaker of Reality, the One Who will Set the World Ablaze, the Wielder of the Cursed Flame of Bahamut, the Protector of Smiles, and the Explosive Massager of Dragons, shall give you the best massage that you could ever ask for!” she declared to Fraydranth. “A-and with Eva’s help!”

Rather than look smug, Fraydranth seemed excited as she looked down at Azalabulia. “You are setting quite the expectations. Are you sure that you will be able to live up to them, disciple of Bahamut?”

“I – I am!”

“Very well! Perhaps I will even teach you a thing or two should your massage prove exceptional. I may even grant you a blessing.”

“A – a blessing?!”

“Only if you prove yourself worthy.”

“I will! I will! I – I promise I will!”

“What’s the big deal about a blessing again?” Fenrir asked GG in a hushed voice.

“Her blessing is why we are this way both in our appearance and strength,” GG answered. “And it was only a very minor blessing since it was applied to our entire village.”

“Got it.”

“Don’t forget that Nell was blessed by the Western serpent, too. That’s why she looks different and is so strong. The blessing she got was so strong that she could even give you a blessing, onii-wan,” Saya added onto the explanation. It was already knowledge that Fenrir had, even if he couldn’t quite remember all the details at the exact moment, so it was alright for Saya to remind him.

“Right. Thanks,” Fenrir replied to Saya. “So, is it like, any monster or player or whatever strong enough to be like a boss could give somebody a blessing?” he asked GG.

Eva decided to answer on GG’s behalf. “Players can’t give blessings unless they’ve been blessed by something powerful enough to give them that ability, but almost any monster can give a blessing after becoming strong enough. Theoretically, if you took a pig and trained it until it was as strong as Fraydranth, you could get blessed by it.”

“I’m not sure how useful a blessing from a pig would be.”

“If the pig is strong enough to give a blessing, the blessing would be useful enough to be worth it no matter what. Blessings are straight up buffs. Really, really strong buffs. They’re kind of broken and a lot of players complain about them being OP and unfair since less than like… probably less than a thousand out of millions of players have blessings.”

“Is there a giant wolf monster somewhere that I could get a blessing by?”

Fraydranth lowered her head and glared at Fenrir. “What are you asking for?” All of the chuuni roleplaying was gone. Now, she seemed purely serious and very, very intimidating.

“I was – I was just thinking that getting a blessing from a giant wolf monster or something might be ni—”

“Banish the thought or you will earn yourself an enemy rather than an ally.”

Fenrir looked at Eva and GG, hoping to pick up on some context clues from them… but they looked as surprised by the sudden tone shift as he was. He could only assume that somewhere was a powerful wolf monster who seemed to really be on Fraydranth’s bad side.

“Sorry,” Fenrir apologized… for bringing it up around her. He was not in the slightest apologetic for asking about being blessed by a giant wolf monster. If anything, Fraydranth’s response confirmed that Fenrir was going to try and find this forbidden wolf. It would have to wait until after they were done dealing with the threat from the Eastern serpent and its army, though.

But he was definitely going to find that wolf.

“Now, I believe that you have all been given appropriate tasks,” Fraydranth said, returning to normal. “Wine, fish, and a massage. Three simple tasks. Complete them all by tonight and you will have my assistance in your little war. However, know this: even should I assist you; I will not put my life on the line. Should the battle seem hopeless and my life in danger, I will return here without hesitation.”

It was understandable for somebody to put their own life above everything else. It was the sort of thing that was generally safe to assume that everybody believed in regardless of whether they said so or not. However, the fact that she was willing to just come out and admit so easily that she would abandon them if she felt like it was hopeless – well, Fraydranth further confirmed that Fenrir was going to track down that wolf she seemed to hate.

Even Eva gave Fenrir a subtle and hidden thumbs-up. She knew exactly what he was thinking thanks to studying him and piecing together his personality with the help of independent research and information gathered from his – their girlfriends.

However, while Fenrir wanted to find the wolf out of having a natural preference for canines over dragons and to spite Fraydranth, Eva wanted to find the wolf because of curiosity and to study it. They wanted the same thing but for different reasons.

In both cases, the wolf in question was probably in danger. One man wanted to find the wolf to gain its blessing… and to probably fluff its ears and tail. One woman wanted to find the wolf to study it… and to potentially dissect it and perform experiments on it.

Somewhere in the world was a powerful wolf receiving a chill up its spine.

“Do you have any questions, or do you plan on standing there until there is no time left?” Fraydranth asked the group.

“We’ll go now. Thanks for giving us a chance,” Fenrir said to Fraydranth. “Aza, Eva, I’ll see you two later. Good luck with the massage.”

“We’ve got this. Good luck with the fishing,” Eva replied.

“I’m not so sure I’ve got that.”

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“Fenrir, since it will only be the two of us on the way back, I can carry you,” GG offered.

“I thought that flying was too risky?”

“We will be fine so long as I stay close to the path. The spiders are often in hiding at this time of day since it is when larger beasts than what they can handle are out hunting.”

“They’re not going to hunt us, too, are they?”

“Oh, no. I don’t think.”

“That’s not very convincing.”

“We will be fine. For now, let us not waste any more time!”

With a sigh, Fenrir lifted his arms like a child waiting to be picked up. GG stepped behind him and looped his arms underneath Fenrir’s before lifting off with his wings to hurry back to the village.

Sure, getting carried by a flying, humanoid dragon sounded nice and all, but most of the excitement was already gone from the first time doing this. Now, there was little excitement to cover up how emasculating it felt.

But it was way faster than walking back.

First, GG would stop by the village to tell his people to prepare the wine, and then he would carry Fenrir back to the coast so that he could get to fishing.

It was only thanks to being carried by GG that Fenrir could make it back while the sun was still high in the sky. Though, its descent had already begun, so there would not much time to capture ten of the rarest fish that Fenrir knew about in these waters.

He didn’t even know if any of them would be alive. What if the serpent’s monsters were hunting them for food or something?

And then he had an idea.

Fenrir walked up to the recovering Ilo and asked her, “Think you’re up for some fishing? I’ve got to catch ten Eastern spearfish by tonight if we want to get a giant dragon to help us out. I know it might be risky to go out there right now, but we’ll be out there on The Shoebill with you. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

Ilo might have been a serpent without a neck nor shoudlers, but she still did her best to shrug in agreement.

So long as they avoided going into the deep water near where she fought those other serpents, they would be fine. Hopefully.

With Ilo’s help guaranteed, Fenrir gathered up those helping with the defenses for a short meeting.

“Alright. So, I met the dragon. She’s massive and would be a huge help to us. Like, we’d basically have a world boss on our side if she’s anywhere near as strong as she looks. The problem is that she wants us to do some fetch quests for her. Aza and Eva are busy giving her a massage, GG’s and his people are taking eighty gallons of wine to her, and we… we’ve got to fish up ten Eastern spearfish by tonight. We’ve got The Shoebill and a few other boats docked over here. We’re going to need as many people as we can who can fish helping us out. Even if you’re in the middle of preparing some defenses, getting the dragon’s help will do way more for us than those defenses will. So, if you can fish, meet me at the dock,” Fenrir explained to the crowd. “Ilo is going to help us out, too, so let’s not make her do all the work for us.”

Fenrir wasn’t sure how many people were going to be willing to help with fishing. Perhaps it was because the task seemed so impossible that he had low hope for anything at the moment. Even though he desperately wanted to wipe that smug smile off of Fraydranth’s face, he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to.

And then he was reminded that nearly everybody from the allied villages helping out with the defenses loved fishing.

Almost everybody who was in the crowd was lined up at the dock with fishing gear at the ready. Serra, Cassiel, and Nell were there too, of course. Even Oleander and Corwin were lined up and waiting.

The only usuals not there were Tabitha and Rao, and that was because they were too important to the defenses to give anything else their attention. They were busy working on the recently planned defenses against the smaller serpents near the entrance of the river.

Fenrir already had more than enough people ready to help out with the fishing anyways.

Suddenly, catching all ten of the Eastern spearfish seemed a bit more possible. It was still unlikely, but it was at least slightly possible.

“Alright! Let’s split up among the boats and get to fishing!” Fenrir shouted, earning a cheer in response.

Most of the volunteers were just happy to be doing something other than building. After all, fishing was the true endgame not only to Fenrir, but to many of those present.

They finally got to have some fun.

Meanwhile…

“What about this spot?” Eva asked, her body tucked halfway underneath one of Fraydranth’s scales as she pressed her hands against the skin.

“There!” Fraydranth replied. “That is directly over one of the knots. If you could deal with that, I would be more than grateful.”

Eva took a pen out of her satchel and marked the scale over the spot with a large X. It was the third X to be drawn on the scales so far.

“Alright, where next?” Eva asked.

“Behind my neck,” Fraydranth was quick to answer.

While Eva figured out everywhere that Fraydranth needed a “massage” at, Azalabulia concentrated in silence to think about how she was going to convert her destructive spells into massaging spells. However, there was a problem.

Azalabulia was still too excited not only from being in the presence of such an awesome dragon, causing her to open her eyes to sneak peeks at Fraydranth every few moments, but she was even more excited from potentially earning a blessing from the dragon!

How was she supposed to concentrate when she was so hyped up?

The answer, apparently, was by smacking her cheeks and turning around so that all she could see in front of her was a tree.

She had to concentrate. She had to force herself to. It was too important.

The best way to massage Fraydranth using explosive magic would be to maximize the strength of the shockwave from the explosion while also directing it into a small area somehow.

However, to make a bigger and more powerful shockwave, she would need a bigger and more powerful explosion which did the opposite of focusing it in a small area. There was also the option of trying to set off her spells inside of the gaps underneath the scales, but Azalabulia would need to be too close to accurately do that and it might do more harm than intended to Fraydranth.

Maybe instead of trying to do that… what if she used a spell that started off as one big explosion that then split off into smaller explosions? The shockwave from the initial explosion would be enough for Fraydranth to feel it, and then the smaller explosions could try to be aimed into those gaps.

Essentially, Azalabulia came up with the idea of throwing a cluster grenade at Fraydranth’s back to massage her.

There was no guarantee of getting underneath the scales, though. Azalabulia was confident that she could hit the scales themselves but getting underneath them required precision not granted by her spells.

One potential idea was taking some of the trees and carving wedges out of them to slide underneath the scales. If the wedges were large enough, they would fit underneath the scales while sticking out. That way, Azalabulia could aim for the wedges and basically hammer them into Fraydranth’s back via explosions.

But that had the risk of splintering the wood and sending slivers of shattered wood into Fraydranth’s back. Replacing knots with giant splinters was not the goal.

“Alright, I’m done,” Eva said, landing on the ground behind Azalabulia. “I marked eleven scales that need focused on. I also came up with an idea.”

“What’s your idea? I’m… having trouble,” Azalabulia admitted.

“I can breathe fire, remember?”

“Yeah?”

“Heat relaxes muscles and joints. Have you ever had a heating pad on your back before getting a massage? It makes the massage so much better. So… I’m thinking, what if I breathe fire underneath the scales to get the area nice and hot first? It might not do much since I can only breathe so much fire and because of how huge she is… but it might help. I’ll breathe fire, fly away, and then you nuke her.”

“This sounds less like a massage and more like all out war on her back.”

“Massaging giant dragons requires drastic measures. I think it’ll help, though. You come up with anything?”

“Only using a cluster of explosions instead of a single explosion at a time. Wait!” Azalabulia shouted, her eyes lighting up. “Your thunderbird wing – lightning attacks, right?”

“Yeah,” Eva answered, stretching out her thunderbird wing.

“Then you can shock her!”

“Why would I – oh! Like transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation!”

“Yeah! That!”

“We can start off with the fire and explosions. Any areas that still feel tight or knotted can be shocked. I think this has a good chance of working!”

“But what do you think will work better? Stronger but slower cluster explosions, or weaker and faster explosions?”

“If you weaken them enough, can you rapid fire them?”

Azalabulia nodded.

“Then if you can do that, even if it’s weak… you could create a vibration effect by sending shockwave after shockwave at her back in quick succession. Instead of swinging a hammer at her back, it’ll be like sitting her in a vibrating chair.”

“You – you just reminded me I should buy a new one…”

“A new vibrating chair?”

Azalabulia lowered her head and nodded.

“What happened to the last one? You make it sound like you already have one.”

“I – I used it too much and it broke…”

“How do you overuse a vibrating chair to the point of breaking it? Stuff is pretty reliable these days. You’d have to be like, rough with it or something, and I don’t see how you’d be rough if you’re only sitting on a chair.”

Azalabulia’s cheeks turned a darker shade of red as she lowered her head even more.

It was then that Eva put two and two together.

“It – it short circuited,” Azalabulia admitted.

“Oh,” Eva said. “You… you know that’s dangerous. If there was… that much, then… those chairs still have electrical components in them that aren’t exactly… waterproofed.”

Azalabulia lifted her hands up to cover her face.

Thankfully, the dragon that she wanted to impress had no idea what they were talking about.