Book 6: Chapter 42:

Kadi left Fenrir with the parting gift of an increased chance of fish taking his bait. This made catching enough fish for everybody working on the defenses far easier and less time consuming, though it also meant that he wasn’t able to relax and think about their conversation since there was almost constantly a fish on his line that needed caught. If anything, though, it proved that she really didn’t care about game balance. Between giving him an offer that—as far as he knew—was unique to him and making it far easier for him to catch fish, these were the sorts of things that would cause players to seethe on internet forums about how unfair it is. It also made Fenrir think of all the anime and manga that he had seen which involved one player in VRMMORPGs getting some unique ability or item or privilege that nobody else got, and then everybody complaining about how unrealistic it was and how it was terrible game design.

Then he realized it.

“Pupaya,” Fenrir said out loud. There was no need to only talk to her in his head since nobody else was around to only hear half of the conversation – well, nobody who would be bothered by it.

“Don’t, onii-wan,” Saya replied, already knowing what he was about to say.

“I’m an anime protagonist, aren’t I?”

Saya answered his question with a loud sigh and the sound effect of her palm hitting her face.

“I mean… I have multiple girlfriends, I’m kind of taking on a leader role, and now I’ve been given the chance to get something even more important than being the only person in a game allowed to dual wield. What am I missing? I have an animal companion, multiple girlfriends, a unique chance, a leadership role, I’ve talked with a giant dragon, I’m Nell’s chosen champion, I won a tournament… wait, that’s it. That’s proof I’m not an anime protagonist because I actually won a tournament arc instead of it somehow getting canceled or only ending up in second or third place. Anime protagonists never actually win the tournaments.”

“That’s wrong and you know it. And no, you’re not an anime protagonist.”

“Where’s your proof that I’m not?”

“One, you’re not inside of an anime. Two, you actually acknowledged your girlfriends’ feelings and have done stuff with them. Three, not every single woman in the world wants you for absolutely zero reason. Four, you’re not edgy enough.”

“Hey, not every anime character is edgy, and I think I hit a few of the marks to be edgy anyways. White hair, dead parents, I like wolves – I’m totally edgy. I’m the edgiest of the edge.”

“You have white hair but it’s long and fluffy and cute, not short and sharp and covering one eye. You had a loving relationship with your parents and they died in an accident, they didn’t abuse you and they weren’t killed by demons or anything. You like wolves, but that’s because you love all canines and you want to pet them and cuddle with them instead of being a lone wolf like them. You are the softest of the edge.”

“Well… I can’t deny any of that. I’ve actually been thinking of making my hair even longer, but I don’t think I’d want to deal with that.”

“Onii-wan… your hair is already down to your legs.”

“Yeah, but imagine this: super long, fluffy hair with enough of it that somebody small like Serra could get completely wrapped up inside of it. Or use it like a hammock.”

“That’s a really weird desire.”

“It’s not so much of a desire as it is something that I think would be cute. Plus I’ve always thought that guys with long hair are criminally underrated. Especially when their hair is in a style generally seen as more feminine.”

“Are you saying that you want to be more feminine?”

“If it’s my hair, sure. A guy with long, feminine hair actually looks more masculine because of it, in my opinion.”

“What if you end up bald instead?”

“Please, no. I mean, I have nothing against people who are bald for any reason, but I’d never want to lose my hair. I love having hair.”

“Aren’t you the one who said you wished you could shave your hair off so you’d never have to style it or cut it or take care of it or anything ever again?”

“Yeah, and that’s still true. I wish I could for the sake of convenience. However, I love having hair more than I enjoy the idea of not having to take care of hair. Besides, my girlfriends said I’m not allowed to go bald. Remember?”

“Yeah, and then Nell was worried because her dad started balding at a young age. RIP your kids’ heads.”

“It’s alright. We have stuff to fix that now. Going bald? Just slap some chemicals onto your scalp and rub them in.” Fenrir sighed. “Go figure that people created an almost perfect cure to going bald before they started working on the environment.”

“Priorities.”

“The world is getting fucked? Who cares as long as I have a head full of hair.”

“Something went wrong when programming humans. I think you need some bug fixes.”

“We definitely do. For example, there’s this bug where it’s impossible to cum in real life as much as guys cum in hentai. What’s the point in living if you can’t fill up a bathtub with every orgasm?”

“Really, onii-wan? Really? We were having a nice, friendly, normal conversation, and you just had to get weird about it.”

“I couldn’t resist. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to go be somebody else’s virtual assistant. You can get a new one.”

“Please don’t leave me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live without my Pupaya.”

“You – you… you’re still saying stuff like that even after hearing what the overseer said?” Saya asked, her tone much more serious now as she spoke in a lowered, unsure voice.

“You’re in my head, Pupaya. You know that you don’t even need to ask me something like that when you already know the answer,” Fenrir answered as confidently as ever.

“But I’m not a ‘real’ AI like her. Even if you think I act like one, I’m not. Half my data is from programming regulated by her and the other half of my data is from your brain.”

“Is it still selfcest if you’re only half me? Does that make it step-selfcest? No, I mean, half-incest? Would step-selfcest even be possible?”

“I’m being serious, onii-wan.”

“So am I. Whether that counts as half-selfcest or not is important. However, even more important than that is the fact that none of what you said matters in affecting who you are to me. All I care about is that you’re Pupaya, the one and only. I might have a privilege even more important than dual wielding, but I’m not also a tech genius who can hack games and figure out how AI development works and all that. To be honest, I barely understood most of what she was saying. I understand the general gist of it, but it doesn’t change how I feel. The NPCs of this world, and you, are all realistic enough to me that I want to protect you. Whether you’re all actually influenced by Kadi or not doesn’t change that, to me, you’re still as real as any human being. If I can’t trust my own perception, there’s nothing that I can trust. Sure, it’s a really subjective way of looking at things, but I don’t care. If you’re real to me, you’re real to me. That’s all that matters.”

“I… don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it. Kadi said that even somebody like Corwin might technically be her, and I might technically be her, but it’s not like I feel like I’m her. I just… feel like I’m your Pupaya. I don’t feel like anybody else is controlling me or like I’m only pretending to be who I am. But, what if it really is just a mask? What if I’m only pretending to feel that way and I don’t even realize it?”

“All that matters is how you feel right now. Trust your own perception and I’ll trust mine. If you don’t feel like you’re Kadi, you’re not Kadi. Like you said, you’re my Pupaya. That’s all that matters. Kadi wishes she could be you.”

A cute giggle entered Fenrir’s mind as Saya laughed from his last comment. “Don’t forget that she knows everything we’re talking about.”

“In that case… hey, Kadi, you need to learn about consent and how it’s not alright to spy on people without it. Being a voyeur doesn’t mean that it’s allowed.”

“Well, you did sign the TOS allowing her to do it, onii-wan.”

“Crap. This is why people should actually read those things.”

“Even the people who read them still end up signing them most of the time since they either don’t care or don’t really understand.”

“I don’t suppose that I’m allowed to keep playing if I want to cancel my signature?”

“I don’t think you can just cancel your signature like that, onii-wan.”

“Dang. By the way… did you know about Corwin?”

Saya went silent for a few seconds before answering, “Yeah.”

“I figured as much.”

“Sorry. I’m not allowed to tell you who and who isn’t unless you already know. But… she kind of broke her own rules by telling you.”

Fenrir sighed and sat down on the top of a barrel since he finally had a slow moment during fishing. “I’m worried about Olly. I’m assuming that he already knows, and I’m not mad that he lied to me or at least hid the truth from me, but… I don’t know. He’s not the type to hide something important like that. I mean, it’s none of my business, but still. I just feel like something isn’t really right there.”

“Are you going to talk to him about it?”

“Yeah, I think so. I’ll try to get some privacy with him while everybody is eating. Besides, if we really do kill the serpent, and I get the ability to give ‘souls’ to NPCs… Corwin is at the top of my list. I’m not sure who else I would give the other soul to. My first thought is Rock, but I’d feel bad giving her one but not Shogun. I’d rather give them souls at the same time. Back to the point, I feel like since Corwin is Olly’s boyfriend, I should talk to Olly about it. For all I know, maybe being given a soul and becoming truly independent from Kadi will mean a complete change in personality. What if Corwin changes and becomes like somebody else? Then again, Corwin isn’t Olly’s property, so it’s not like I need Olly’s permission to do it in the first place. I just… I’d rather talk to him about it first, and I want to make sure that he’s alright.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“You know what else sounds like a good idea?”

“Don’t.”

“Rubbing your belly and petting your head.”

“I – I’m not an actual dog! Petting my head might be normal-ish, but rubbing a girl’s belly is definitely not normal!”

“That’s true, but you didn’t say that you don’t want me to.”

“I – I… you’re the worst, onii-wan. You baka hentai onii-wan.”

“Such a little weeb.”

“I’m only a weeb because you want me to be a weeb. I bet you wouldn’t find me being a weeb so attractive if I made myself a seven-hundred-pound man in a diaper living in my mom’s basement.”

“That’s true, but you’re not. You’re a cute dog girl instead.”

“Are you forgetting that I could turn myself into a seven-hundred-pound man in a diaper living in my mom’s basement at any time? I could turn into one right now and start calling you onii-wan while going uwu and asking what we’re going to do on the bed.”

“You should ask me that the next time we see each other. I’ll throw you onto it so you can go pomf, and then you ask me what we’re going to do. Then we’re going to do something extremely lewd.”

“Ex-extremely lewd?”

“Right. As lewd as possible.”

“Wha-what makes you think I’ll let you?!”

“We’re going to…”

“Going to – going to what?!”

“Have unprotected, interlocking, raw handholding.”

“Ugh,” Saya replied with a sigh.

“You knew that was coming.”

“I know. I don’t know why I played along.”

“Because you’re the best, Pupaya.”

“And you’re the worst, onii-wan.”

“I know.”

“But even if you’re the worst, thanks. Thanks for… I don’t know, treating me like I’m my own person instead of just a virtual being whose life doesn’t really matter.”

“That’s nothing to thank me for.”

“It really is. I don’t think you understand just how much it really means. Most people would get annoyed from even suggesting that NPCs are real and deserve equal treatment. They would call you an idiot and a white knight or something.”

“Well, I do have white hair. Though, my armor is black right now. Am I a white knight or a black knight? A grey knight?”

“Just take the thanks, onii-wan.”

“Alright, I’ll try. Thank you for thanking me.”

“That’s – that’s nothing to thank me for.”

“If I have to accept your thanks, you have to accept my thanks. That’s how the law works.”

“Fine. Deal.”

“Good girl.”

“Ye-yeah, well, good boy!”

“Heck yeah. See? I don’t have any shame in enjoying being called a good boy. Just look at my tail wagging. You should accept it as shamelessly as I do.”

“If I did then you would take advantage of it way too much.”

“You’re absolutely right. That’s why you should do it.”

Saya sighed once more before letting Fenrir get back to his fishing. Though, whatever buff Kadi must have applied to his success in hooking fish must have worn off because he was back to only occasionally getting tugs. The good news was that this allowed him to relax and really think on his own about everything Kadi said while petting Rock and Shogun.

Most of his attention went to petting the two canines.

Once Fenrir finally caught enough fish for everybody, he returned back to base and got a fire going. Each fish was then cut open, gutted, and impaled on a stick with their meaty insides facing the fire. All he had to do then was tell everybody that they were welcome to come and grab any stick that they wanted once the fish was done. A table with several seasonings, herbs, and juices was set up as well in case anybody wanted some extra flavor to go with their fish.

Fortunately for Fenrir, both Oleander and Corwin were present as well. The scent of roasting fish must have drawn them away from wherever they were hiding to have fun with one another.

“What’s the special occasion, Fenny?” Oleander asked while looking over the fish.

“I just wanted to do something for everybody. Everybody is so hard at work that I figured it would only be fair to try and make things a bit easier on them. Besides, who doesn’t love fish?” Fenrir asked in response. Despite catching all of the fish and originally planning on having some himself, he didn’t exactly have an appetite anymore. All he could think about was talking to Oleander. And, because he didn’t want to potentially ruin Oleander’s appetite, he figured that it would be best to wait until he finished eating before pulling him away to talk.

“This is quite the haul, Fenrir!” Corwin said. “I am surprised that you caught so much all on your own. Have you been on the water all day?”

“Well, not quite. I guess you could say that I had a tiny bit of help.”

“Ah, how mysterious! Well, whether you had help or not, I am glad that you have decided to share your bounty with us.”

“Anytime. If you ever want fresh fish, all you have to do is let me know and I’ll be glad to go and catch some for you. If it gives me an excuse to go fishing, I’ll take it.”

“I shall keep that in mind!”

While Corwin and Fenrir talked, Oleander raised an eyebrow and asked, “Is everything alright, Fenny?”

“Oh, yeah,” Fenrir answered. “I just need to have a one-on-one strategy meeting with you once you’re done.”

Of course, Oleander was able to tell that something was wrong even if nobody else could. Being best friends for years had that effect. Though, while Oleander could tell that something was up, he had no idea just what it was about. That allowed him to retain his appetite and inspired him to hurry up with his fish so that he wouldn’t keep Fenrir waiting for too long.

Once Oleander was done eating, him and Fenrir decided to take a walk together toward the forest. It wasn’t that they had any intention of entering the forest, but talking while walking through the field on the way there would give them all of the privacy that they needed.

“So… what’s up?” Oleander asked. “You know that you can’t hide anything from me.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re too good at discovering things,” Fenrir said. “That’s also part of what makes you so good at hiding them.”

Oleander slowed his pace and looked up at his friend. “Which secret have you found out?”

“There’s multiple of them, huh?”

“A girl’s got to have her secrets.”

“Of course. Anyways, I’ll get to the point. Corwin. You’ve known, haven’t you?”

“Oh. That.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, I’m his boyfriend. It only makes sense for me to know that he has a weak spot behind his ears.”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“You’re no fun, Fenny.”

“I know.”

Oleander brought his hands up to rest on the back of his head. “So, I guess you finally figured out that he’s an NPC?”

“Yeah.”

“Took you long enough. It’s not like I was trying that hard to hide it.”

“I’m not always the best at picking up on little hints.”

“True. That’s why it’s such a good thing you have honest girlfriends who don’t mind openly talking to you about things.”

“Yeah, I’d probably be screwed if they weren’t so honest with me.”

“You totally would be. Anyways, what about him did you want to talk about?”

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As much as Fenrir might have wanted to ask why Oleander decided to knowingly date an NPC in the first place, that was irrelevant. All that mattered was the future. “What if he could go from being an NPC to a true artificial intelligence independent of the system?”

“Like… what if he was actually real instead of just programmed for the game?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m… not sure. Do you want a serious answer or a basic answer?”

“Why not a basic one and then a serious one?”

“To be basic, no thanks. To be serious… part of why I was fine with him in the first place was because I knew he wasn’t real. I knew there’d be no real obligation, no real responsibility, and that I wouldn’t be hurting anybody real if things didn’t work out. I wanted him for fun. I know it makes me sound horrible, but… that’s why I’ve been so happy with him. If he was a real person I met in a bar or something somewhere, I never would have gone out with him. My life is too busy for any real commitment. This game already eats up whatever little free time I have. With Cor, there’s no real responsibility and I get to play the game at once.”

Fenrir stopped in his tracks and looked down at Oleander. “You wouldn’t want him to be independent?”

“If he was really independent and ‘real’ and stuff, that would make me have real responsibilities. The last thing I need right now is somebody to be actually romantically interested in me. That’s way too much pressure and I’m not in a position right now where I can comfortably accept that.”

“I believe that you’re telling me the truth right now… but you’re also hiding something, aren’t you?”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because you’re doing a horrible job of hiding how sad you look. I might not be able to pick up on the real subtle things, but anybody could tell what the look in your eyes means.”

“Heh, maybe you’re better at intel gathering than I thought. I must be rubbing off on you even though you never let me.”

“I’ll rub the top of your head if you be completely honest with me.”

“What, you think that just because something like that works on your girlfriends that it’ll work on me?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re right. I’ll accept that. Besides, I planned on telling you the whole truth anyways.”

“I see. You got me to make you an offer first.”

“A girl’s got to have her plans.”

“Yeah, yeah. So, what about the rest of this truth?”

Before answering, Oleander flopped backwards onto the ground, spreading out his arms and legs as if he were going to make a snow angel. “The truth is that I made a mistake. I never should have kept him around. Once I was done having my fun with him back at Port Tugator, I should have made up some excuse to get rid of him and left. Now, even though I know he’s not real… I think… I accidentally fell in love with him. I mean, he’s perfect. Literally perfect for me. He’s the best looking guy I’ve ever seen, he’s a perfect match in bed, I love his personality – I love every single stupid little thing about him. The way he talks so properly, how he gets flustered when I tease him around others, his dick – I honestly don’t think it’s possible for him to be any more perfect, and I fell in love with him because of that. The whole reason why I wanted to date him was to avoid responsibility and because I was sure I would never fall for somebody who wasn’t even real… but here I am. At this point I almost wish that he would be the one to break up with me, but I know he won’t, and I’m too afraid to do it myself. I guess I’m scared about what will happen to me on an emotional and mental level if I let this continue.”

Fenrir joined Oleander on the grass next to him. Naturally, Oleander was quick to roll over to snuggle up against Fenrir’s side, and Fenrir had no problem allowing it. He even wrapped his nearest arm around Oleander to try and comfort him. “Thanks for telling me,” Fenrir said. “So, to clarify, you started dating him because you didn’t want a ‘real’ relationship and only thought it would be fun. Then you actually ended up falling for him for real. Now, you’re still in love, but you still don’t want a real relationship, and that’s why you wouldn’t want him to become any more real than he already is.”

“That sums it up, Fenny. The good news is that it’s not like he can just suddenly become real… even if sometimes I wish that he could. Ah… I feel so stupid now. Look at me, the serious and smart one going to law school and stuff falling in love with lines of code while you have a bunch of real girlfriends. I must sound pathetic.”

“There’s nothing pathetic about you. To me, Corwin already is a real person. I’m actually kind of pissed off on his behalf that you weren’t taking your relationship with him seriously at first, but if you really do love him now… I’ll let it slide. More importantly, I have a way of making him ‘real’ by your own standards.”

Oleander’s eyes widened as he leaned up over Fenrir to look him in the eyes. “What? That’s impossible. You can’t just—”

“Keep this between me and you for now, alright?”

“What is it?”

“The overseer talked to me while I was fishing.”

“The overseer? The true AI?”

“The one and only. To make things simple, she said that if we kill the serpent, she’ll give me the ability to grant two souls to any NPCs I want. These ‘souls’ are basically just true intelligence. So, if I gave one to Corwin… he would become a true AI just like her. He would be completely independent, have his own thoughts and emotions – all of that.”

“You’re not lying, are you?”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“That’s… why would she do that?”

“I barely understand it myself. All that matters is that if we kill the serpent, I’m planning on giving one of these souls to Corwin. What are your feelings on that?”

“I have way too many feelings on that to give you an answer that won’t take a few years and lots of therapy to explain. That sounds horrifying, horrible, and like the worst thing that you could do right now. But… it also… sounds like a dream come true – like the kind of fairytale fantasy romantic ending from some cheesy movie about true love. But, if I push aside my own selfish feelings and fears… if you had to give it to anybody, I would want him to have it. No matter what might happen after it, he deserves it.”

“Even though it might give you even more stress, complicate your life and relationship, and potentially change what sort of person he’s like?”

“You’re really trying to convince my fears that they’re right, aren’t you? But, even with all of that, I’d still want him to have it. On a completely personal level… I’m too terrified by the idea of it to know what I want both for me and my relationship with him.”

“So, you do want him to have it. You just don’t know what’s going to happen afterward.”

“Yeah.”

“What if he still loves you and wants to stay with you?”

“Then I’d probably be happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life combined, but I’d also be more terrified than I’ve ever been in my entire life combined.”

“For what it’s worth, you’d get to go down in history as the first person to ever be in a romantic relationship with a true artificial intelligence.”

“I’m… not sure I want to be known for that.”

“Coward.”

“We can’t all be as shameless as you, Fenny.”

“That’s a shame. The world would be a much better place.”

Oleander poked Fenrir’s nose and said, “You know that means all the horrible people in the world would also be shameless about what they want, right?”

“That’s a good point,” Fenrir said with a sigh. “I guess it’s better for some people to still feel ashamed after all. However, you’re not one of those people. No matter how you feel about Corwin, if your love is real, that’s all that’s important. Whether you consider him real or not, it doesn’t change the fact that your love is real.”

“You’re so cheesy now. Is this what happens when you’re in a relationship for so long?”

“I guess so.”

Oleander shrugged before getting off of Fenrir to sit on his knees. “Anyways, I’m ready for my head rubbing now. I was as honest as I can be, so please provide the promised rubbing. And while I’m on my knees, feel free to—”

“All I’m doing is rubbing your head,” Fenrir interrupted.

“Fiiiiiinnneeee.”