Chapter 14

“Terri is going to like you a whole lot,” Brendan said, tipping up his glass before taking a drink. “She might not even want to go home as often as you’re paying her to babysit. You know you pay her like five dollars extra an hour, right?”

“I would think it’s just spending money to her,” Marc grunted, flagging down the bartender for himself.

Brendan just hummed. “Well it’s all money she gets to spend on more art supplies, or clothes, who knows.”

“What were you talking so much with that student the other day?” Marc was curious. He knew sometimes he heard about teachers having to report things, but he’d never thought about that when he had been in high school.

“They’re just having a hard time, and I’m trying to help them through it,” Brendan answered vaguely. “I don’t really want to overshare.”

“Got it,” Marc muttered, trying very hard to not sound disappointed.

“I’m glad to be that person, though,” Brendan went on. “My art teacher in high school was amazing… when I told her anything she always tried her best to help me—letting me stay in the art room whenever I wanted, just being there to talk, so on.” He paused and chuckled. “Then when I graduated we became actual friends, which was weird, because then she started opening up about herself as well and it was awkward. I also then realized I was an adult and not her student anymore.” He laughed.

“You think you’ll be like that with some of your students here?” Marc asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I already have a loyal following that’s establishing an art club just so that they can hang out in my room once a week after school,” Brendan laughed again. “I don’t really mind though.”

“None of the teachers were like that when I was a student there,” Marc admitted on a sigh. “Otherwise maybe I would have actually talked to someone.”

Brendan elbowed him in the side. “Oh don’t sound so doom and gloom about it. Things are at least better now, and hey, we both made it.”

Marc snorted. “A little worse for wear, but true.” He took another drink and set his glass down. “I actually started seeing a therapist like you suggested.”

“Oh, nice. That’ll be good for you,” Brendan said. “Have you had any mind blowing realizations?”

“Maybe.” Marc stared down into his glass. He hadn’t even exactly said the words to Dr. Sterling, much less Brendan, but… “We’ve been talking a lot about my relationships with people.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” Brendan chimed in quickly. “I’ll never ask unless you want to tell me something.”

Marc paused, letting himself smile slightly. “Well I’m trying to tell you something, aren’t I?”

“Go on, then,” Brendan allowed with a wave of the hand.

“A lot of things about my ex-wife,” Marc continued. He’d never talked much about her with Brendan. “That maybe I was fond of her, but that I didn’t love her.”

“You think it helps you to realize that?” Brendan asked.

“Yes.” Marc took another swig of his drink. “And dealing with some of the things that I’ve been hiding and not willing to admit to myself before.”

Brendan stayed silent, keeping true to his word about not actually asking anything, and just letting Marc say what he wanted. Marc let out a long sigh. “Like that before my wife, I had a crush on a boy.”

He could see Brendan choke a little bit, setting his drunk back down. “Oh,” he croaked, covering his mouth while he tried to cover up a cough. “That’s… unexpected.”

“Maybe, maybe it isn’t,” Marc grumbled. “Just as soon as I had any idea about it, I threw myself into dating Whitney and tried not to think about it.”

Brendan twirled his glass around. “Well, I’m here for you… at the same time, I don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “But like I said, I’m here.”

“I don’t even know what I’m looking for right now,” Marc laughed nervously. “I just… haven’t told anyone before, or thought about myself that way.”

Brendan rolled his shoulders back. “Basic bottom line, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and you just have to be comfortable with yourself. You don’t owe anyone anything on telling them about yourself if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t even know if I want to tell anyone else right now,” Marc admitted. “My dad would kill me I’m sure.”

“He’s not up to knowing anything like that. He doesn’t need to know, and he won’t be able to do anything about it then,” Brendan said firmly. “And besides, you’re an adult. No one controls you or yourself except you.” He jabbed Marc pointedly in the arm.

Marc chuckled. “I’d say I know, but I know even when I was an adult I was still in this… cycle, with my father.” He drew a circle in the air with his finger. “Even though wasn’t as physically abusive, he still had some control over me.”

“And it’s a trapped feeling. Like no matter what you try you can’t get out of it, no matter what you try, and the only things you control are the things you can do involving yourself,” Brendan said, pausing. “But do it in ways that are good for you. For me, one of the better things was my art.”

Marc only nodded. He’d faced the blackness in his dreams all too much. “I never know how I really got through high school. I think I just… coasted through it.”

“I spent every second that I could at school, just so that I didn’t have to go home,” Brendan sighed. “I still struggled even with all of that though.” He crossed his arms over the bar, squeezing his upper arms with his hands. “I ended up self-harming a lot.”

Marc felt slightly stunned by that. “Under your tattoos?”

“Yeah,” Brendan sighed. “The only other thing I could control was what I did to myself, so…”

“Shit,” Marc hissed. “I’d never even thought about doing something like that, but… then I was already being hurt enough, I don’t think I wanted to add anything like that. I just withdrew a lot from everything and everyone.”

Brendan cleared his throat and pushed his drink to the side. “And this is all getting really heavy really fast,” he chuckled. “But I can understand that.”

“Change of subject?” Marc offered.

“Yes, please,” Brendan agreed quickly.

“How were your uh… dates?” Marc wanted to know. Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to bring up after all of this talk, but he was curious too.

“Oh, those. Fine I guess, but I don’t think it would have worked… and he was feeling about the same way I think. So we agreed to not,” Brendan explained awkwardly.

Marc chuckled, trying to think of a joke as a response, but he wasn’t any good with those. They sat at the bar a while longer before Marc said he wanted to get home and relieve Terri. He caught himself a cab, while Brendan was close enough to walk home from where they were at.

Marc made him agree to text when he got back, and Brendan agreed with a roll of the eyes.

***

“Nice to meet you, I’m Marc,” Marc introduced himself formally, shaking hands with Alice’s husband.

“I’m Scott,” the man beamed excitedly. “But you can call me Scotty.”

“Okay.” Marc nodded deftly, watching as Ariel ran around the house while chasing Eric. Before he could say anything about it, Alice was on top of it.

“No running!” She warned them and sighed afterwards.

“I’ll go make sure nothing bad happens,” Scotty said, slinking out of the kitchen.

Alice groaned and tipped back her wine glass. “Make sure nothing bad happens, right,” she echoed sarcastically. “He’s going to be the one encouraging whatever they’re doing that causes something to break.” She smiled as she said it though.

“He seems nice,” Marc grumbled. He was really bad at first meetings, he realized. He was also terrible with second and third meetings.

“He’s like a second kid,” Alice informed. “But hey, if I didn’t want to find fake spiders littered through out my house, I would have married someone else.”

Marc took a moment to process that. “What?” He finally gave in and asked.

“Scotty has a thing for setting out fake spiders, so if you think you see a spider, don’t freak out,” Alice warned. “I think dinner should almost be out of the oven…” she checked the timer and then her recipe book. “Anyways, how has your weekend been so far?” she asked.

“Fine. I got drinks with Brendan last night,” Marc said. “I don’t really do much on my weekends otherwise.” This was his first time being to someone’s house other than Brendan’s, too, but he wasn’t going to say that.

Alice glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow. “I bet he’s a fun drunk,” was all she said.

“We didn’t really get drunk, we just talked a lot,” Marc defended themselves quickly. He was sure they had both gotten a little buzzed or neither of them would have said everything they did, but he’d seen Brendan drunk before.

“Well maybe next time Brendan can come over too. Eric seems to like him a lot too, but he’s in a different art class than Ariel,” Alice explained, right as something thumped from upstairs.

There was a pause, and then Scotty’s muffled voice. “It’s okay!” he hollered down the stairs, before Ariel and Eric came running guiltily into the kitchen.

“What was that?” Alice asked patiently.

“Nothing,” Ariel squeaked.

“Daddy tripped over a thing and fell,” Eric didn’t have the same sense of keeping his mouth shut.

Alice took another sip of wine and waited for Scotty to get back downstairs. He smiled sheepishly and showed off the fact that he was fine.

“The three of you can set the table then,” Alice instructed, gesturing to the cabinets.

Scotty got down plates, and handed the silverware out to Eric while Ariel put out glasses for those not drinking wine. Alice pulled dinner out of the oven and cut it up on the stove top, and waited for it cool some before setting it out on the table.

It was all so… family like. It was weird, but Marc was actually enjoying himself. He was looking forward to finding a fake spider, or to Ariel finding one without the warning Marc had gotten. There wasn’t much talking over dinner with everyone eating, and then Eric and Ariel were sent to watch a movie while everyone else cleaned up.

Marc got his promise of a fake spider when he went to get a dish towel. He still jumped, and he could hear Scotty bursting into laugher as Alice threw a sponge at him. “At least I told him about those,” she admitted.

“Oh that’s not any fun!” Scotty complained before being banished to putting away left overs and washing the tin.

Scotty then joined the kids in watching a movie while Alice settled back into a small lounge area off the side of the living room, and Marc joined her. “So tell me about yourself?” Alice asked.

“Like what?” Marc questioned her right back. He really wasn’t good at these things.

“I don’t know, anything. Do you eat the chocolate bunny’s ears first, or the tail?” Alice tried again.

“How in the hell is that relevant?” Marc had to think about it first. “I guess the ears?”

Alice snorted and took another sip of wine. “That makes sense.”

“I have no idea where this is coming from,” Marc complained defensively.

“There’s this whole psychology behind you eat a chocolate bunny.” Alice waved her hand dismissively. “I always just thought it was funny though, so ignore that. I also eat the ears first.”

“What does Scotty do for a living?” Marc asked.

“He works at a grocery store, pranking people with fake spiders every chance he gets, among other things. He’s quite notorious for it,” Alice chuckled. “Eric’s grandparents—my parents—help pay for his tuition at school, and they’ve set up a college fund for him, since neither Scotty or I make a whole lot of money.”

Marc nodded. “I relied on my father to get me through college, but now I’ve made all of my money myself.” He was at least grateful for that, though he knew he was frowning as he was talking.

“Well nothing is more satisfying than knowing the money you’re using is your own,” Alice commented. “I still remember my first job, when I got to buy things I wanted with my own money, I was ready to do whatever I wanted.”

“I’ve never really been a big spender.” Now most of his money was going towards doing social things, like driving places and buying drinks or something. Maybe he should buy one of Brendan’s art pieces and support the cause.

“So I know we already kind of talked about this, but…” Alice paused and tilted her head. “You and Brendan aren’t really?” she left the rest open with her question.

Marc huffed. “We’re not dating,” he repeated. “We’re just friends.”

“Okay,” Alice answered cheekily.

“What?” Marc narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Alice said. “I just think I see a little chemistry between you two, but then I’ve only really met him once, so maybe I’m wrong.” She shrugged. “Are you not opposed to the idea, though?”

“What?” Marc said again.

“Well I haven’t heard you say ‘I’m not gay’ or anything like that yet,” Alice pointed out.

“I’m not,” Marc protested out of habit. He made himself stop though. “Well, mostly. Actually, yeah.”

“Actually yeah what?” Alice frowned in confusion.

“Shit,” Marc groaned, letting his head fall back against the chair. “I really only just got around to saying it myself.”

“Oh, so you are,” Alice perked up. “Sorry if I dragged it out of you, then.”

“No, you’re fine,” Marc grumbled. “But I only just got there, and I’m not looking for anyone to date right now.”

“Have you told Brendan?” Alice questioned, sitting forward.

“Yeah, over drinks yesterday.”

“Just give it some time,” Alice said. “Obviously you still have a lot to work out, but I would keep my possibilities open. What do your parents think, though?”

“I’m not on talking terms with my dad,” Marc answered shortly. Telling her about his sexuality was one thing—he’d have that for the rest of his life, and it was a part of him. His father on the other hand was meant to be in the past, so he was going to keep it that way. She didn’t need to know.

“Ah,” was all she said, becoming very involved in her wine glass. “At least then you’ve got your friends, right? Because while Scotty might be acting like a seven year old himself, he can act like a caring adult every once and a while… and you and I are friends. And then you’ve got Brendan, too.”

“And my babysitter, Terri,” Marc laughed. “Without her I would be spending time with about no one. But Ariel loves Terri, and they spend a lot of time together working on art.”

“I’ve hired a babysitter a few times, and Eric just ends up sending them home crying over fake spiders and other pranks he picked up from his father.” Alice rolled her eyes. “Do you think Terri would be able to handle that?”

“Probably, I’ll give you her number before we leave,” Marc promised.

When the movie ended, Alice and Marc joined the kids and Scotty in the living room for a few short rounds of a card game. Ariel started falling asleep in Marc’s lap then, so he got them into the car and drove home.