Chapter 18 - Hold On, We're Going Home

Max felt his heart lurch in his chest when he saw Emma sitting next to the window seat of the last row of the airplane. Her chocolate brown hair fell down in waves against her tan skin and she wore a loose beige sweater, concealing the curves he now knew of her perfect body.

And of course, some young blood was sitting next to her, trying to make friendly conversation as she stared out the window.

He reached inside his pocket for his first class ticket and placed it in front of junior’s view. “It’s your lucky day, mate,” he told him.

He took the stub from him, his eyes widening as they honed in on the 2A. “I was hoping you would switch seats with me,” Max explained.

“What’s the catch?” he asked suspiciously.

“There is none. Consider it a gift.”

The kid turned to look at Emma, as if outweighing the pros and cons of leaving his seat next to her. In another life Max would have scoffed at him, but in all honesty he couldn’t blame him. He would have done the same as a teenager.

“What will it be, mate?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. He would pay him if he had to, but wasn’t about to give up all his cards yet.

Gratefully the kid stood up, and handed him his ticket. Max shook his hand and thanked him before he took off up the aisle. He would never know just how much he had done for him right then. He would have gladly given up all of his possessions just to have this one moment with her.

Emma looked up at him then, her beautiful green eyes glistening, calling for him. He couldn’t have sat down fast enough in his new seat, which was now even better than first class could ever be. As long as he sat next to her, it was all that really mattered to him. He lifted the armrest in between them and instantly brought her to his chest, one hand wrapping around her hair and the other around her waist.

It felt like he hadn’t seen the sun in days and suddenly he could bask in its glory and breathe again. He had never wanted her more than in this moment, to kiss her, feel her, and tell her how much she meant to him. A paralyzing fear shot through him realizing this could be their last time together.

“Emma, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered against her hair. He felt wet tears streaking down her face and pulled back to look at her.

“It’s not your fault. Stop saying that,” she whispered, trying to wipe away her tears.

He pulled her hand away, brushing them off with his thumb instead. She was so gorgeous, even when she cried. Looking into her eyes, he recognized that underlying sadness in them and felt his chest tighten. He hadn’t seen it in her all week, but now it was back and full-fledged. It nearly killed him. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her chin. Everywhere except where he really wanted to the most, her lips. They were still in New York and he wasn’t about to break the one rule he had somehow managed to keep in the last second.

“Max, we...god, I’m so confused,” she breathed.

“I know. I know. It’s okay, we’ll figure this out,” he reassured her, soothing his hand down her back.

She took a few calming breaths and let everything out. “God,this is so much harder than I thought it would be. When I first arrived to Madrid I felt that I was really confident and secure, but now I just feel beaten down and weak. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m really doing anymore. Like I’m lost or something.”

He took a deep breath and studied her for a moment before answering. “Emma…please don’t think that. A lot of things have happened since then, but you’re still the same amazing girl I first met months ago that severely kicked my ass during that teambuilding event. You’re incredibly smart and outgoing, and you still have all that fire and competiveness in you. It may be hidden right now, but it’s still there. Just give it time, okay?”

“I don’t even know what to do, Max. Part of me doesn’t even want to go back. But I can’t do that. This week with you...I felt free for the first time since my mom died. And Alex, I barely spent any time with him. Part of the reason I came was to be with him and I didn’t even get to do that, he was always so busy. And Roy showing up out of nowhere, I don’t know what he’s thinking or wanting to do. I just messed up so badly and I don’t know how to make things right.”

“Sweetheart. Don’t worry about Alex. I know you might not think this right now, but he loves you,” he said running his fingers through her hair. Suddenly he felt guilty about spending more time with her than Alex had, but isn’t that what he had wanted? Either way, she deserved to know what had happened. “He asked me to take care of you, and he was really worried about Roy.”

“He sure has a funny way of showing it then,” she mumbled and then scrunched her forehead adorably. “So you only spent time with me because he asked you to?” she said in a small voice.

“Of course not. That didn’t happen until after you got locked out of his apartment.” He shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling very nervous. He had to tell her, to somehow prove his worth, now more than ever. Before he lost her for good. Rubbing his thumb against the back of her neck, he said, “I don’t think it’s a secret at this point how I feel about you. I just….” he stopped to look into her eyes and found warmth and a bit of curiousness.

“You don’t need to decide anything right now. This is all happening really fast and I don’t want you to feel pressured...at least by me. Take your time to think things over and once we’re back to reality you can decide what you want. I’ll wait for you as long as it takes, if you’ll have me. I would do anything for you, Em. You have to know that.”

She placed a hand on his cheek and closed her eyes. “Max, I don’t deserve you. This is just going to end badly and we’ll both end up hurt. I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”

He reached for her hand and laced her fingers together with his. “That’s not true, baby. This was the best week of my life, and it was all because of you. Ever since I first laid eyes on you on that basketball court...things changed for me. It happened instantly. No matter what happens, I’ll fight for you and it’ll all be worth it even if it hurts in the end.”

She sighed and laid her head against his shoulder. “Sometimes I wish I would have met you sooner. When I was young and naive and things weren’t so...complicated.”

“I probably would have chased you around, trying to steal your virtue,” he chuckled. “I suppose that doesn’t sound very different from right now,” he said shaking his head. “Maybe things were meant to happen this way.”

“If it is...then life is pretty fucked up.”

“That it is,” he said lifting her hand to kiss it. “How about we watch the movie we missed last night? I want to enjoy whatever time we have left of the trip together.”

“That sounds pretty amazing, Maximiliano,” she smiled.

“I love it when you call me that.”

He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around them, after selecting the latest Iron Man movie for them to watch. It was the most trivial, non-dramatic option he could think of. As they snuggled together and she eventually fell asleep in his arms, it was so easy to imagine that they were together. A couple like any other, going home after a week’s vacation. Deep down he knew it was far from the case.

So many times during the trip, he had felt like it was just the two of them and that Roy didn’t exist. He had seen moments of everything they could be and what it would be like to have her. He felt so stupid for letting himself get carried away in some impossible dream. Roy showing up wasn’t just a wakeup call that knocked some sense into him, it was a fucking punch in the gut and a straight kick to the balls that left him hollow. It was reality. Emma wasn’t his. She had a strapping ox of a boyfriend and he had a death warrant on his hands. Things would only get messier from here.

When the plane finally touched down hours later in Madrid, he knew it was time to man up. He looked into her tired, anguished eyes and offered her a way out.

“Sweetheart, I wanted nothing else but to be selfish and tell you to come home with me. You obviously can if you want to, but I think it’s best if we part ways here. You need time to figure out what you want without me, and maybe you can talk things out with Roy now that he’s had a couple of days to calm down.”

“I know. You’re right. I just still haven’t heard a peep from him. He was supposed to arrive tomorrow originally, but I don’t know now. I mean, all I know is that he has to show up for school on Monday at this point.”

“Maybe that’s even better, so you’ll have a bit more time for yourself. Go home and relax, okay?”

She nodded and turned to look at the passengers that were slowly filing out of the plane. “You should go first,” she said swallowing hard.

“Will you be okay? I left some cash for the taxi in your bag. You know where they are right? It shouldn’t be more than 20 euros and you should tell the driver to…”

“Max, I’ll be fine,” she interrupted.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Come here,” he said pulling her into his chest one last time. She held on to him so strongly, her arms securely tightened around him. An emotion like he never felt before burst through him.

Love. He loved her. He had felt it building slowly inside him, but now he knew wholeheartedly. He wanted to tell her so many things. But each time he opened his mouth to say them, his throat closed up and he felt himself about to crack.

When he sensed her tremble against him, he finally lost it and ended up doing what he had been aching for the entire trip. He kissed her. The rules were over, done with, locked away in some dark cave at the bottom of the ocean. He brushed his lips against hers, kissing her on the mouth over and over again. Those perfect lips that had been taunting him for so long, that he constantly dreamed about, were finally pressing softly against his. Everything in the world seemed right.

He was already imagining all the possibilities. Deepening the kiss and wrapping her around him and carrying her out of the airplane. Whisking her away in a taxi and laying her down in his bed as soon as they got to his apartment. Confessing he was in love with her and promising he would hold her forever. But he couldn’t do any of that. She didn’t deserve it.

Man the fuck up, Max.

He knew what he had to do before he did anything even more foolish than he had already done. He pulled away and thanked god her eyes were still closed. If he had seen them open, saw those radiant specks of green, it surely would have been the end of him. He kissed her temple, inhaling her sweet scent, memorizing it, and then brushed down the aisle.