Chapter 21 - After the Dust Settles

Emma woke up to an astounding headache. It hurt so much, she could barely open her eyes. Even worse, her body felt like it had been run over by a truck. Her stomach immediately growled and a pang of hunger shot through her, making her nauseous. She tried to swallow, her mouth and throat feeling completely dry.

A hand grabbed her arm and she jumped at the contact. Suddenly the images started pouring through and she whimpered, wanting to forget them and believe they were all just part of a really bad nightmare. The reality was it had happened and it made her want to cry all over again.

"Shh, Emma. You're safe. You're completely safe," a soft voice said.

Max. Her savior and guardian angel. She really hoped she hadn't dreamt that last part because it would wreck her if it wasn't true. She rubbed her eyes, feeling pressure against her cheekbone, and almost sobbed when she found his beautiful face staring back at her. His deep eyes seemed endless and they were filled with worry and dark circles underneath.

"Hey sleepy," he said, pushing her hair back. "I was starting to wonder if I should wake you up."

How long had she been out? The way her head was pounding, she wouldn't be surprised if it had been days.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart? I got you some food. You should eat," he said trying to sound optimistic.

She nodded at him and he helped her sit up, her eyes taking in the familiar room. Despite him being extremely gentle, every bone in her body seemed to protest, especially her ribs.

"Here," he said handing her a water bottle, the top already unscrewed.

She reached for it with shaky hands and almost dropped it, barely having the energy to hold it up. Thankfully, Max kept a hand on the bottle, tipping it over for her while she drank it slowly.

"Good girl," he said once she drank half the bottle. "I hope you like chicken noodle soup," he added, opening up a lid from a white container. He grabbed a spoon, dipping it inside and brought it to her mouth.

She looked at him skeptically. "I can do that," she said hoarsely.

"Humor me," he simply said, waving the spoon in front of her.

She opened her mouth and almost moaned as the warm liquid coated her throat. Chicken noodle soup had never tasted so good. He continued spoon feeding her until she eagerly finished the whole thing.

"Saltines?" he asked, grabbing a packet.

She nodded and he handed them over after tearing open the packet. She quickly finished those too, and he handed her another. Somehow the munching seemed to alleviate a portion of her splitting headache.

"When was the last time you ate, Em?" he asked fully concerned.

"I don't know. What day is it?" she asked. It was slightly light outside, but it seemed to be the afternoon sun.

"It's Monday, about 5pm. You slept a solid eight hours."

"Oh. I can't really remember the last time. The plane, I think," she said answering his question truthfully.

He cursed loudly. "Emma. That was almost two days ago. You can't do that, baby. You need to eat."

"I know. I just wasn't hungry and then I couldn't eat after we...fought."

He swallowed hard and shook his head. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I never should have said those things to you...let you go back there. I'll never forgive myself."

"No. Stop, Max. I won't let you blame yourself for this."

He reached for her face, his thumb tracing her swollen cheek. "How can I not?" he whispered.

"Max," she said grabbing onto his hand. "You saved me in more ways than you'll ever know. That's all I want to hear."

He exhaled and looked away, probably still unbelieving her. "I got you some things from the pharmacy," he said reaching for a bag on the nightstand. He started taking out all sorts of different medication. He opened one of the medicine bottles and poured two white capsules in his hand.

"You're supposed to take two of these every six hours for the body pain," he said placing them in her hand. "There are also some pills for the swelling and some ointments for the...bruises. I already applied some to your cheek, but the pharmacist said to reapply it every eight hours or so and we'll also need to put some on the rest of your bruises. I can help you later if you like. I just didn't want to seem like a creeper while you were sleeping."

"Thank you," she said feeling a bit overwhelmed. Obviously he had gone through a lot of trouble thinking and preparing all this while she had slept through the day. She grabbed the water bottle, already feeling more energized from the food, and swallowed the pills. "Sorry I was out for so long."

"It's okay, Em. You obviously needed it. I kept busy, did a few things around here and ended up going to the gym for a few hours after I saw you were deep in slumber," he shrugged. "Are you still hungry?" he asked.

"No, I'm good for now. I could use a shower though," she said, feeling grimy to say the least.

"Of course. Let me prepare it for you." He momentarily left the room, but came back with fresh towels and a change of clothes, which he placed in bathroom.

Emma slid her feet over the bed, ready to stand up.

"Do you want me to carry you?" Max asked preoccupied.

"No, I think I can manage. Help me up, though?"

He was instantly at her side. The upright movement hurt like crazy, but once she was vertical and her ribs were in one position, it was much more manageable.

The shower was nothing short of glorious. Max had one of those waterfall type showerheads, and the water cascading down her shoulders and back felt like a personal massage. The only thing were the damn bruises. She tried not to look at them too much. It was easier to pretend they weren't there if she didn't look at them directly, but unfortunately the achy feeling she felt all over was reminder enough.

When she got out, Emma was surprised to see Max had left her a change of her own clothing and even found some of her toiletries in the bathroom. He must have gotten them from one of her suitcases.

She made her way back to the bed. Max had already tidied up the area and was patiently waiting for her, reading one of the course packets from class. It always amazed her how detailed he was. She settled on the pillows and took a contented breath, already feeling so much better from when she first woke up.

"So I put most of your stuff in the other bedroom because of the closet space, but you should actually stay in this room. The bed is more comfortable than the futon in there, so I'll use the other room," Max explained.

"Max, I'm not following," she said. "You want me to stay here?"

"Of course. Where else would you go?"

"I don't know. Maybe I should find a room to rent somewhere."

"That doesn't make any sense, Em. There's only a few months of school left and I have a perfectly good room here."

"Yeah, but I don't want to impose or anything."

"That's the last thing you would be doing. I want you here, sweetheart."

"I'll pay you rent, then."

"No need. It's fine. I have more than enough to cover this place from the sublet of my flat in London."

"I can't just live here for free, Max."

"I don't know, you can tip the doorman or something. I'm not taking your money."

"The doorman? That's nothing. There's gotta be something I can do," she shrugged.

"Your presence alone is enough for my sanity, okay? You can take me out to dinner or cook for me if you want, but that's all I'm allowing. Emma, seriously don't worry about this right now."

She sighed. "So what, we're going to be roommates now? Friends?"

"We've always been friends, Em. Maybe we can be friends who are also roommates and perhaps we can toss in a little extra down the road," he grinned.

"Are you saying you want to be roommates with benefits?" she asked curiously. She couldn't help chuckling at the thought.

"I'm kidding. I don't...expect anything out of this. Right now all I care about is for you to recover and get better, alright? That's all that matters to me."

"Okay," she said, surprising herself she was agreeing to all this.

"Good. Now we should put some of this crap on you," he motioned towards the medicine bag.

She immediately grimaced. "Do we have to?"

"Yes, lift up your shirt, woman," he instructed.

She gave him a look, thinking how bad that sounded, but knew he was just trying to keep things light.

"C'mon Em, there's nothing I haven't seen before."

She covered her face in embarrassment. Did he have to remind her? She slowly lifted up her shirt, pulling it up until just under her breasts. She didn't dare look down at her body, but instead fixed her eyes on Max. It would be easier this way.

He let out a huge breath and quickly went to work, squeezing some ointment from the tube on his finger. "Just let me know if it hurts," he whispered.

"Okay," she whispered back.

She tried to concentrate on his solemn expression, rather than the feel of his fingers but it was too impossible. She felt herself flinch, and was reminded of when she had done the same thing for him.

"Isn't it a bit ironic?" she said.

"What, sweetheart?"

"How we ended up in the same exact place from last year, just reversed?"

"A lot has changed since then, but yeah. I don't think ironic is the right word though," he replied a bit heatedly.

"What is the right word then?"

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her intently, his face falling. "I don't know. Senseless? Heinous? Malignant? There's a long list I can think of, but I don't think there's one word that could possibly sum it all."

He shook his head and returned to what he was doing. "Turn around for me? There's some on your back as well, unfortunately."

She did as he said, thinking how much of it had been a result of her own actions. How she was at fault for both times this had happened.

"Em?" Max asked softly behind her. "Will you...I mean, are you planning on pressing charges?"

She immediately shook her head. "No. I can't. It wouldn't be right."

He sighed, pulling down her shirt and carefully turning her back around. "Do you want to talk about what happened or not yet? I understand, if you don't want to."

"Max," she breathed, her eyes immediately filling with tears.

"No, baby. It's okay, forget I said anything. It was stupid of me to bring it up." He brought her to his chest, kissing her head over and over again.

"Let's just watch a show or something. I have the DVD set for Homeland," he suggested.

"Is it okay if I just give you the cliff notes version first?" she said, summoning up some courage.

"Yes, whatever you want or don't want to tell me. It's up to you."

"Just promise you won't do anything stupid after I tell you." She was afraid Max would flip out and go after Roy. She didn't want them fighting again over her and didn't want anyone else to get hurt. It was the last thing she wanted. It was also completely selfish, but she really needed Max right now.

"I promise. I already went through all these scenarios in my mind, and as much as I want to, breaking his legs won't solve anything. I don't want to make things worse. I'm here for you, Em," he said calmly.

"Okay, so here goes," she said taking a deep breath. "He didn't show up to the apartment until early this morning. I guess he ended up taking an overnight flight. I had already woken up and was dressed for school when he came in. It was obvious he had been drinking, he probably slipped some Jack into his coffee or something. We quickly got into an argument, and sparing the details of what was said, he uh...backhanded me against the cheek."

She sneaked a peek at him, and even though his expression was appalled, so far he seemed okay. Well, at least he had known that much had happened. The evidence was pretty clear.

"We yelled some more and then I went to get my bag for school, which was in the bedroom. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. But he started calling me names and more things, and he pushed me against the bed. He got on top of me, and tried to take my jeans off. I was wearing skinny jeans and they were apparently too tight for his taste and he couldn't get them off, probably because he was drunk. I guess he also realized what he was about to do at that point and he let up after I told him off. I ended up pushing him away and running off."

His hand was gripping hers tightly and he kept shaking his head over and over. She could tell he was really trying to control his emotions, but his eyes were filled with white fury and gave them away. He finally swallowed roughly and motioned for her to continue.

"I had gotten passed the door and into the hallway when I realized he had followed me. The rest is hazy, but I remember he tried to grab me and force me back to the apartment. I don't know if it was an accident or he somehow pushed me, but I ended up falling down the stairwell and I think that's where I got the majority of the bruises. I was pretty out of it, but he picked me up and brought me back into the apartment. He placed me back on the bed and then he just left, leaving me there as if nothing. All I knew is that my body was hurting pretty badly and I didn't want to feel anything anymore, I wanted to feel numb. It was just too much. So I took the sleeping pills and well...I suppose you found me sometime after that."

Without saying a word, he gently grabbed her legs, bringing them over his on the bed. He scooted up to her as much as possible and tucked her beneath his arms. He was breathing hard and she could feel his body slightly shaking against her. He kissed the top of her head, alternating between playing with her hair and trailing his fingers down her back. He seemed to relax after a while of repeating the same motions in silence.

"You're the bravest girl I know. Never again, baby. I promise," he whispered. "I need you to know how precious you are to me. I won't let that happen to you again. I'll protect you. Always," he vowed.

She kissed him on the cheek, and knew that her aching heart belonged to him at that moment. She could almost feel the words coming out, but knew it wasn't the right time or place to say something like that. She wouldn't want to remember this day for the rest of her life and taint something so pure with it.

"Are you mad at me for not wanting to press charges?" she asked.

"No, I'm not mad at you Em. I think I understand where you're coming from. I just think it's wrong that he can do something like this without having to deal with any consequences. Like it somehow makes it okay or that he'll even do it again to someone else. What's going to stop him?"

"I don't know, Max. I just feel like I'm responsible for provoking him and pushing him this far. He never used to be like this. Sure, in the years I've known him he would drink sometimes like a frat boy or throw a few things around when he got mad, but never like this. It's like it all just intensified over here."

"Emma, baby. He's a drunk and he's abusive. He's a goddamn poster child for domestic violence. You didn't do anything to deserve this. You understand me?"

She nodded hesitantly and he sighed. "I'm just glad that you're here now. You're safe and I can protect you. Let's focus on that, okay?"

"Okay," she said, pressing her hand over his chest. She could feel his heart steadily beating, and wondered how she had gotten so lucky to find this wonderful man. "Homeland?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "Nothing like Carrie Mathison to make your problems dwindle in comparison."