Chapter Twelve

Riyaan takes a look around the place, as he sits in a restaurant in the shopping mall. He always liked places where they had shops on both sides, but this one huge mall has shops all around them. Two pairs of couples sit by his left, one seems married, waiting for the food while busy on the phone, while the other couple seems like teenagers, talking to each other and laughing. To his right, a practising lawyer sits talking to someone on her phone. Next to her seat, another couple, not the youngest looking, eating. And then there's the man in front of him, busy with his phone too.

'Are we on a date?' Riyaan asks as the waiter leaves after penning down their order. Ivan and he spend half their day shopping, and the first time doing something together in public. For him, it means something. But he has an idea - for Ivan, it means nothing. Ivan doesn't really care much about what people think. Despite their arrangement and his drawing lines about how far they can go, he doesn't really seem to care if someone sees them together. From what he knows, nobody gets the fun out of asking Ivan who he is dating or who's the guy with him — at this point it's him.

'A date means someone asks someone out, at least for the first time.'

'Okay, I ask you out. Will you have the coffee with me once the waiter brings it?'

'You think you're smart? I decline your date.'

'No phones on dates,' Riyaan says, putting a hand between Ivan's sight and his phone screen.

'It's not a date.' Ivan pushes his hand aside, glueing his eyes to the screen again.

Riyaan huffs, and leans back on his chair. 'At least you can pretend to date, I know it's not a date.'

'No. No pretending.' Ivan gets busy with his phone until two plates of chocolate cake and croissant are placed on the table.

'Thank god we don't date. Otherwise, we would be a boring couple.'

Ivan's thumb seems to stop moving on his screen, and he takes a look at him— curious. 'Why'd you say that?'

Ha! That got his attention.

'Because you are on your phone, always, and I'm lonely looking at people here.'

'It's work. Why are you feeling lonely anyway?' The chimes on the phone take back his attention.

'Because you are not giving me attention.'

Ivan takes too long to eat his croissant as he keeps tapping on his phone without break. And when it comes to chocolate cakes, Riyaan is shameless. And since they are not on a date, 'Can I eat your cake too, it's feeling lonely. It needs warmth.'

Ivan considers him, eyebrows raised. 'Never see you eating this enthusiastically at home? Go ahead.'

The two pieces of chocolate cake do nothing to Riyaan's craving for chocolate, so they end up buying ice cream.

'Is that the evergreen Ivan?' Someone says as they come out of the restaurant.

'Shirley, hi!' Ivan says as he walks faster towards a female. She wears a body-hugging dress and wears her hair in a high ponytail.

She tips on her toes and quickly gives a peck on Ivan's cheeks but closer to the lips. The only thing that's more judgemental than the old woman sitting nearby is Riyaan's face that is featuring an open mouth in offence.

'We need to catch up sometime. I know you get so busy, and I do too, but please, call me.'

'Yeah, sure,' Ivan says, giving a side hug.

Poor ice cream. Riyaan's fuming and the fumes are melting the ice cream as they talk with families and friends with each other.

'She kissed you,' Riyaan says, glancing back at the woman who is now walking towards the restaurant they left, with five shopping bags in her hand.

'I am quite aware.'

'Rules don't apply for her?'

'She's an ex. I have no deal or arrangement with her. She doesn't know about the rules.'

Riyaan sometimes forgets that Ivan has dated a lot.

'So? I wouldn't have known either if you didn't tell me,' he says as he gets into the car.

'Very funny. You are jealous?'

'No, I'm ecstatic.' The last bit of his ice cream is melted enough, and falls from the cone, right into his pants over his thigh, making him even more frustrated. 'At least have the decency to pretend that you respect me for the days we are fucking each other.'

'You are actually jealous?'

'I'd not do that to you.'

'I'm not stopping you, honey. Kiss whoever you like, I really don't mind.'

'You sure?'

'Positive.'

Just for an experimental purpose, he wonders, if he kisses someone in front of Ivan, how would he truly react. Not that he is interested but just for the experimental purpose, he wishes someone kisses the life out of him in front of Ivan. 'Fine, you know what, I will.'

'Fine by me,' Ivan says, focusing on taking the car out of the parking lot.

But then again he also imagines Ivan congratulating and teasing him about having the first kissing experience finally. He doesn't know what's worse — Ivan not kissing him or Ivan truly not caring who he kisses.

I don't wanna know.

No.

No.

*                      *                    *

Does Kris know, or does he not?

Riyaan is torn. He doesn't want to ask. Even if he did, what would he ask? Do you know that I am sleeping with Ivan? Is a question that doesn't even sound good — because he doesn't know if it's just sharing information or boasting.

But the fact that Kris is still trying to set Riyaan up with his friends is a reason enough that he should know that Riyaan is not available.

Or maybe, maybe, he would just hang out with his friends, let Ivan know the same, and make him jealous. 'I will hang out with Kris today, and his friends.'

'Okay.'

'Maybe I will find someone to kiss.'

'Strangers?'

'Friend of your friend is your friend.'

'Never heard anything like that.'

'Mutual friends?'

'Okay, but I need to know if it's just kissing, and not.. you know?'

'Why, you never know what kissing might lead to.'

'I got to know. Because...it's about safety. I cannot trust you anymore with that. Don't lie to me about that.'

Fuck you.

That's what Ivan cares about? For two months they sleep in bed together, and this is all he cares about?

'I won't do anything else.'

And when he finally meets Kris' friends, he realises that they are not his type — not even for kissing. Not that he actually wanted.

'So, found anyone of kissing material?' Ivan asks from the front porch when he comes back home.

'No,' he says, getting his helmet from his head.

'Poor Riyaan! Here, come have some tea.' Ivan pours some tea into the second cup.

'Stop mocking me.'

'Not mocking you. Maybe you should find someone to date.'

'You want me to date now?'

'Me? It's not about me.. I'm talking about your future, you are the one who wants a husband, life, marriage, bla bla bla..and finally a kiss.'

'Maybe it doesn't have to be so complicated.'

'What's that?'

'Only love has to happen, the rest follows.' He takes a careful look at Ivan.

'Poetic conversation over tea time, not bad.'

'This isn't some...' Riyaan puts down his cup. 'You are always dismissing me like a joke.'

'I'm not dismissing you, I'm just saying that I'm not what you want, and quite frankly, you're not what I want either.'

The last bit hurt. Because he can argue with his views and perspectives, that last bit is powerful to end everything. The heart wants what it wants. If you don't want someone, you don't want them.

'Right.' You'd have if you saw me. 'Fine. Your high-heeled ex can kiss you all she wants, or, or, that, your unique thinking boyfriend, what do I care!'

He hears Ivan muttering, saying something like still jealous.

'And..what's evergreen Ivan even?'

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