Chapter Twenty-Two

'Hey! We meet again,' Neel greets as he sees Riyaan at Kris' place.

'Hey,' Riyaan tries to match his energy but it's not easy, especially not today.

'So, how it goes?'

'Great. What happened to your friend?'

'Aahan? He's here too, he cannot live without me,' Neel explains.

'Sure.'

'So, how do you like the decoration?'

Preet's house has been decorated with only old-fashioned white, rice lights, lighting up the exterior beautifully. The whole neighbourhood has agreed on not burning crackers, making the environment calm except for the sounds of people talking and laughing. Yet again he finds himself at a party, with unknown people.

'Yeah. Very bright.'

'Nancy and Cyan will come too?' He asks Kris, on the first chance he gets as Kris separates from some group of guys.

'I sent an invitation, but I'm not sure. You okay, already bored?'

'I am fine.'

Kris makes him sit with some other guys then because he has concluded that Riyaan is bored. And once again, he feels hyper-aware, being around people who are talking about important things — business, and stock market and whatnot! Nice job, Kris!

Around eight months ago, he met Ivan right at this place. But then he feels sad, and for some reason(which he hopes Kris shouldn't know because i-told-you-so), he calculates the moments, goes through every tiny decision he took after that day, if he could have prevented all of the ways that Ivan makes his heart warm, but right now, broken, betrayed, and burnt with jealousy. Riyaan still hasn't called him back, but he keeps checking his phone — waiting.

A particular word from the conversation of the guys catches his attention. They are talking about Ivan, what are they talking about him?

One of them is glorifying how Ivan helped him in growing his business sales, while one is asking if he can introduce the other to Ivan for the same. Someone is saying Ivan doesn't get much time nowadays, followed by how he used to be fun when he was dating his ex. Someone then says nowadays he only finds pleasure in his business ventures and work, but Riyaan knows that's not true. Ivan likes to read slow-burn romances and cooking.

But no one, none of them talks about Ivan's fuck-buddy. Nothing about a guy living in his home for months, who fell in love with someone out of his league. There's not even a rumour? Maybe he's not that relevant, or at all.

He hates it.

The whole environment. The conversation. Their boring and stupid get-ups. The lights. The house that lies there 24x7, and the trees that surround the house from both sides which have been there for months. He hates it all.

An excuse. Yes, that's what he needs to go back to Ivan's place. No, he cannot be sick, he cannot act sick, although he does feel sick in his stomach. Maybe he can act sleepy.

But before that, he must complete a mission: Find Kris.

Kris is not inside the house, which he isn't surprised to find. Outside on the right side of the house, he finds someone but it's not Kris either. But the man greets him and wishes him a happy Diwali as he lights a cigarette. He's in a hurry but he wishes him back. The man probably finds this as a hint to keep speaking to him because now he's asking, 'Are you a friend of Kris?'

'Yeah.'

'Are you having a good time?'

'Yes, thank you.' Riyaan waits a few moments before he says, 'I am actually looking for Kris, did you see him?'

'Kris.. I think he is going to his parents' place to deliver something.'

That bastard...

The man probably reads his face of annoyance and impatience, because he says, 'Don't worry, he will be back.'

'Want me to keep you company?' The man now looks directly at him. He has now discarded the cigarette on the ground.

He opens his mouth before he knows he will say 'no, thanks.', but when the man utters the next word, he freezes. 'Ivan'

His heart starts beating faster now because maybe someone finally heard a rumour. But when he finally notices the man, he is looking past him. Very naturally, he looks back too. And there's Ivan, wearing a sweatshirt that he wears at home, standing there, slowly walking towards them looking at both of them cautiously as a soldier analysing a hostile situation.

Two steps closer, Riyaan gets more insights about the situation himself. Ivan looks at the man, he knows the man, and they don't have a good history.

'Hi,' Ivan says to the him.

He is a good amount surprised, a good amount relieved and a good amount confused which together drives away any sadness and insecurity he had for the past hours. All he wants to do is throw his arms around him and kiss him senseless. He doesn't care if Ivan punishes him.

Wait, just another punishment of sleeping in different rooms right?

Why hasn't he thought of that before?

'Ivan, how's it going?' the man asks greets.

'Yeah, well. You?'

'Doing well, enjoy the party.'

Riyaan uses this as an excuse to leave the area and wonders when exactly did Ivan arrive? And why hasn't he called him back?

'Do I even want to know what you were doing with that man?'

'What are you doing here, I thought you said two more days.'

'And then you disconnected my call, sour cream,' Ivan says, face reflecting a bad mood. He finds different nicknames sometimes based on Riyaan's mood.

'Don't talk to me.' Riyaan can kiss him later, but he can be mad at him for some time.

'What was he saying to you,' Ivan asks, slightly looking back at the person.

'I was looking for Kris.'

'Does he look like Kris to you?'

'No.'

'I am still asking.'

'He said that Kris is gone, am I his friend? Happy Diwali, do I need company, like that.'

'Did you need company?'

'No, I wanted to go home.'

'Okay, let's go home. If no one sees me, we can leave without hassle.'

Ivan's mood still looks somewhere between anger and frustration, yet his politeness and calmness never betray him when he speaks. It's painful for Riyaan at times — the least he can do is spare him some emotions from time to time even if it's not strong love.

Maybe this is what they guys were talking about. He used to be fun, but now he looks lifeless. Maybe this is why instead of talking to his friends about the stock market and business and hanging around with them, he wants to run away from them.

'But Kris will look for me, and I rode my bike here.'

'Take it back tomorrow, call Kris and tell him you are leaving.'

Riyaan wants to disobey him because he is mad at him, and wants this message to reach Ivan whenever he is willing to pay attention. But he is taking out his phone, calling Kris and saying he is leaving. Kris doesn't want him to leave yet and tries to make him stop because he will bring a lot of firecrackers and then will go to an abandoned field 4KMs away and nuke the city. It's tempting but not as much as Ivan.

'Kris wants me to wait because he wants to nuke the city with me,' Riyaan passes this information as they move towards the car at the end of the car parking.

'He wants to what?'

'Fireworks.'

'You want to go?'

'It's somewhere far.'

'Ask him. We can go there.'

'You have just arrived, are you not tired?'

'No. Let's go.'

When they arrive, Kris is with Neel and Aahan, and Nancy and Cyan.

Damn! Nancy. He hasn't thought of it yet. But he cannot stop laughing internally. He walks ahead of Ivan, who meets Kris, and Neel. Nancy doesn't see them yet as she is talking to someone where they park their cars. And then when they all walk towards the field, she probably thinks he is with Neel and Aahan, whom she seems to have met only today.

'I thought you'd not come, what changed?' Kris asks Ivan as they move.

'Errr.. call it homesickness.'

From his side eye, he can tell for sure Ivan is looking at him while he says that, but Riyaan is not indulging.

The field is mostly dry, except some parts have grass on them. And when Kris said he wanted to nuke the city, he expected something like what you call Atom bombs which you can hold with your two fingers and then throw a few metres away, cover your ears and it bursts. But that's what they used to do in the orphanage on Diwali, some would burst and some would just die in damp grass before bursting. Anyone who goes to check if it's ever going to burst is brave, or one might call it stupid.

But what Kris brings are some huge balls of firework shells, which Riyaan believes to be used for putting on a firework show. How much money do they actually have? Riyaan wonders again.

'Riyaan, you wanna go first?' Kris offers.

One shell of firework is probably his one and half month of salary, he cannot. He cannot. 'No. You go ahead.'

'Why not?' Kris challenges.

'I don't know, I am scared.'

'Seriously?' he rolls his eyes but then they continue to ignite themselves one by one. The display may be quick but then have every colour on the sky that Riyaan likes. Maybe when you earn a huge lot, such kind of beauty in the sky is really worth it.

Something flashes on the right side of his face, making him squint his eyes. Ivan, with his phone camera, standing a little far from him.

'What you doing? Fireworks are in the sky.'

'You looked good looking at the fireworks. So I clicked a picture.'

Somewhere in between Nancy stands by his side on the left stealing peeks at Ivan. Did she see Ivan talking to him?

'What's his deal?' she asks.

'What do you mean?'

'Why is he here?'

'To see the fireworks, I guess.'

'How do you know him?'

'I got a lift from him on the day of Holi.'

'Ah, makes sense.'

Yeah. Of course. Otherwise, it wouldn't make sense. Because why else would a guy like Ivan talk to a guy like him? He decides he doesn't like her for the day.

When they are returning to their cars, half of the group doesn't want to go back with Kris, and the other half wants to. Riyaan doesn't obviously, Ivan doesn't either. This wouldn't be a problem because they would ride together anyway, but then Nancy would ride with them because she doesn't want to travel back to the party either. Riyaan doesn't want her anywhere near Ivan. But then they are all arranging it anyway; she can ride with Ivan and him. She thinks both Riyaan and her are getting a lift.

When Ivan opens the door in the back for her, she gets in. But when he opens the door for Riyaan in the front, she's really looking. There's something going on in that head of hers, he can tell.

But then she talks directly to Ivan, reminding him about their awkward encounter at the Holi party, and how sorry she was after. Ivan finally remembers her and apologises because he was dealing with stress that day and her face wasn't exactly recognisable. She laughs. Probably she thinks, 'Oh, I looked bad and messy with Holi colours probably that's why he didn't give me attention,' because now she is asking other things like if Ivan enjoys Diwali more or Holi more, or which other festival is his favourite. And telling her stories, as if Riyaan isn't there at all.

When they drop her off, she says, 'Thanks Ivan for the lift. Can I treat you as a return of favour? Any place of your liking?'

Lame attempt.

'You don't have to. It was my pleasure.' Ivan smiles at her.

'Of course, I have to. It really means a lot to me.'

But Riyaan has had enough for the day. 'It's okay, Nancy. You really don't have to. It's not like he offered to drive you somewhere where we aren't going anyway. It wasn't anything personal.'

'Wow.. that's super rude.' She gives an awkward smile.

He takes a moment before it sinks in. It indeed was rude. He scans his memory to find the times he spoke to someone with that much rudeness. It was for Ivan's ex — one in particular so he feels a little guilty about it. But she is trying to hit on Ivan, his Ivan, in front of him. She wants a piece of him. Riyaan is not up for sharing any.

'Hey, I really appreciate that you want to return the favour. But that would defeat the purpose of kindness and generosity. Will see you around. Yeah?'

'That's super sweet. Yeah. Bye. See you.' She finally smiles, maybe she isn't that bad.

Nobody says anything as they drive past trees, houses, and empty spaces. Until Ivan is laughing softly looking at him.

'What?'

'I don't remember her, I lied. And now I'm laughing because it worked.'

And Riyaan laughs too because what the hell, he couldn't tell either. 'No way!'

'It's true.'

'Apparently, she flirted with you and you acted like you had never been asked out before. And she was a little offended.'

'If she was offended, why was she saying sorry to me today?'

'Because she wants a piece of you.' That part is obvious. And this makes him angry again.

'I am not going to give her a piece of me,' Ivan says, rubbing and soothing Riyaan's nape with his free hand while the other hand stays in the steering while they wait in another traffic jam.

Riyaan wants to kiss him, in the middle of the road in the car.

And he does, takes Ivan's hand in his, and brings it to his lips, and he thinks of everything he wanted to speak to Ivan for the last five days. When he kisses his hand softly, Ivan doesn't stop him. He lets him. And that makes his whole body shiver with emotions and nervousness.

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