Chapter Two

'I kind of had one small drink before dinner. But I'll be very slow, is that okay?' Ivan walks behind him to his car. For a man whose shirt is ruined, he seems to be holding no grudge against Riyaan, in fact, he seems rather calm to Riyaan's surprise.

'Yeah, sure.'

'Really? Not scared for your life?'

'You seem to be in control.' Riyaan gets in the car after Ivan opens the door for him.

'Uh, can you get the seatbelt? We don't want to be violating the laws,' Ivan says after fastening his own seatbelt.

Oh.

There's literally one time in his life when he entered a car, and he had no idea how to fasten a seatbelt. And it's too late to watch a YouTube tutorial now. These are the times he thinks he will have to struggle his way to live a fulfilling and responsible life, just the way everyone does every day.

'Can you do it for me, please?' He says with a smile, looking at Ivan. He'd rather have Ivan think he is weird than think he cannot fasten a seatbelt.

'Oh!' Ivan says with surprise. Riyaan thinks he is going to make a joke, but he moves to fasten his seatbelt. 'There you go.'

'Thanks.' That was easy. He could have just fumbled around for a bit and would have found it.

Soon they were driving away from Kris'. And after a few minutes, Riyaan wonders if it's awkward and if he should ask for some music. But..

'What do you study?' Ivan asks after they hit the main road.

...a conversation is fine too.

'I'm doing my bachelor's in Fine Arts, distance education.'

'Ah. I see. Why distance?'

'I have a full-time job.' Ivan looks at him for the first time. This allows Riyaan to see his eyes up close, and for a moment, their eyes lock.

'So you're ambitious.'

'Not much, just enough. I guess.' He replies. 'What about you?'

'I own a security business with Preet. We have a team. I also manage some of my family business.'

'What is that like?'

'At the security firm, right now we are looking for better professionals in our team. So until that happens, it's a very busy life. The family business gets tough sometimes of the year but otherwise, it's fine. Been doing that for a while.'

'Do you like it?'

'It's not always sunny. But that's my job. So, what's the point of attaching emotions?'

'Right.'

'What's your job?'

'Marketing.'

'And what's that like, do you like it?'

'I like the work, I learn a lot. But hate the management.'

'What's wrong with the management?'

'My manager.'

'What's wrong with the manager?' Ivan lets out a soft laugh. Riyaan feels he should get out of the car, it's too much. He's too beautiful with the right set of eyebrows, and hair waves at the right places. As if he had his hair done by a professional.

'The manager micromanages.' Riyaan cannot help but break into a smile too and get shy just by looking at Ivan's face.

'So.. a micromanager? Complain about him?'

Riyaan is really surprised that Ivan is taking such a deep interest in small talk. He didn't seem like the kind at first.

'He's a she. And I tried. But there's no point.'

'Get another job.'

'Right. They are waiting for me.'

'Who?' Ivan actually seems to want to know the answer.

'That was sarcasm.'

'Oh.'

Ivan wasn't lying when he said he would be driving slowly. Even though there isn't much traffic, he is staying true to what he said. At first, Riyaan dreaded he would never reach home but the conversation made him wish he didn't. Now he ruined it all but bringing low-quality humour to their conversation.

Soon after they were going a little faster than before. Riyaan concludes that small talk is over as Ivan clearly thinks he is not interested in the conversation - which is not true.

'So, what is this stream about?' Ivan asks, breaking the silence.

'Kris has a stream channel. He plays and streams, and sometimes plays with subscribers.'

'What good does that do?'

'It's fun and he really makes a lot of money.'

'Wait, he's making money?' Ivan seems so surprised, making him focus on Riyaan and not looking at the road.

'Mind the road, and yes, he's making money.' Riyaan smiles at his surprised expression.

'Makes me wonder if I'm in the wrong career.'

'Funny because I thought of the same thing earlier today.'

'Because of Kris?'

'No. Because of you guys. Wearing a suit, ties and neat and clean. No offence but it seems like you guys are super loaded.'

'None taken. I came directly from work. I won't deny that the money is good, but there's nothing more to it. Like I said, there's no point connecting emotions, which means you have to not feel yourself for a long time.'

'You don't seem like that bothers you much.'

'What do I seem like?'

'I don't know. More practical.' Riyaan says as he leans his head against the window pane of the car, looking at Ivan more intently.

'What about you, are you emotional or practical?'

'I believe I am somewhere in between.'

'You seem practical to me though.'

'Really?' Riyaan sits back straight because Ivan's face is a distraction. He looks like someone who hasn't shaved his face for a while, yet, he seems like someone who wouldn't get rid of their good looks even if they made an effort. 'A lot of people I meet have the opposite opinion. They find it hard that I can be a little practical.'

'People are not often good at judging character, even though they like to believe they are. And, sometimes first impressions are not last impressions.'

Did he have a bad experience like Kris too?

'Right? Like, I never thought you'd be good at conversation.' Riyaan takes a peek at him. Don't hit on him. Don't.

'Thanks. What made you think otherwise?' Ivan says, trying to keep his eyes balanced between the road and him.

'It is just that you were not talking much with other people, and until they were gone.' Riyaan says slowly, and adds, 'Also, you're so busy with the phone in your hand.' He mimics his demeanour of holding the phone in his hands and looking down, and scrolling, eyes glued.

Ivan looks at his act and laughs.

'In my defence, they aren't always the best for conversation, plus, you are not wrong. I'd rather keep it to myself. But Preet asked me after you got into the car to make you feel comfortable on the road.. so...here I am.'

A strong wave of disappointment hits his senses. He feels like a fool because having believed the conversation was out of genuine interest in knowing a person. 'Oh..! that's what it is.'

'Yeah. Me with my other personality.'

'We don't have to talk if you don't want to. I'm comfortable enough now. You could have just played some music.'

'It's fine. I'm not against conversation, in fact, I am quite into a particularly good conversation. This was fine. But I'll remember to play some music in the future if you insist.'

Future?

'Good.'

They were close to his street, making Riyaan feel a little relieved. But also a familiar pain that he might never see this beautiful face again. Maybe he will but they will never share such a cosy and close space, talking like there's no one else in the world. Everyone who thinks of this guy or his lover would want him soon but he's here driving him to his home, Riyaan feels pretty important right now.

'So, that's you?' Ivan asks, looking at the building in front.

'No, there's a place behind this one, that's me.'

'Want me to get the seatbelt?' Ivan asks with a face Riyaan thinks is a result of stifling a playful smile.

Is he teasing me?

'No,' Riyaan says, already unbuckling it(successfully).

'Goodnight.'

'I am..really sorry about your shirt today.' Riyaan means it, especially when everything else looks perfect about him, except for the shirt.

'And I'm sorry about your lip. Hope it doesn't hurt too much.'

Riyaan nods. 'Bye, night.'

***

Vacate the place as soon as you see this. You're not getting any more leeway. Sorry for doing this at Holi.

Oh no!

Right. It's been 4 months since he got the notice but finding a place with cheap rent is not easy, and honestly, 4 months is nothing. He takes out the paper from under his bed. Places he noted down that are cheap but they asked him to wait. There are 7 places, two of which he cannot afford even though they are considered cheap but he noted down in case he gets a new and better job. And the worst part? He was warned yesterday also, but he just couldn't find any place. It doesn't help his situation that he isn't exactly a person who pays rent on time.

'Riyaan, right?' A guy that is about 3 years older than him is talking to him.

'Yes,' he says, looking at him suspiciously.

'That was from me, couldn't get you on the phone. Sorry for doing this today but I need that place vacated by tomorrow morning..'

'Look, can I talk to your mother? She'd understand.' Riyaan has had a good sort of conversation with that woman, maybe she is up for understanding why it is hard for him.

'Nope, not happening. She is also not doing very well with her health.'

Riyaan lets out a long sigh. He doesn't want to beg, and the guy is right, he has been given enough time except that time wasn't so favourable for him. But then again, when has any situation ever been favourable for him? It has now become a game for him - finding out how to sail the rough seas.

'Right. Give me 2 hours?'

'Take 3.' The guy leaves.

After about 45 minutes, Riyaan managed to pack all his things in just one bag and leave the place in the next 5 minutes.

He makes a call to Joseph first, the man who helped him get this place for him a few years ago. And his number is not reachable.

He calls Dev, the first friend he made in the city, who works in a restaurant and owes him a debt.

'Can you find me a place for a few days, real cheap?'

'Yes. Meet me Saturday?'

'No. I want sooner.'

'Sooner is not possible.'

'Listen..uh, can I come stay with you for the night?'

'I shifted with my girlfriend to a different place. Not around that place now. Where are you?'

'Forget it.' He cancels the call. He cannot waste time talking about his whereabouts.

And then he calls his trusted caretaker at the orphanage. But turns out, he won't be able to sneak him in for the night either because the supervisor has made security stricter. The caretaker asks repeatedly if he is in trouble, but he downplays his situation. He doesn't want anyone to get in trouble for him. But thankfully, he could park his bike there.

With nowhere to go and no place in his head where he will sleep, or even lie when the city goes calm, he thinks back to the time he and Nitin almost got into trouble for sneaking out just to sleep under the open sky. And now he has the chance, and instead of freedom, he feels scared.

Lying down below the bridge, and staring up at the stars was all he ever wanted when he felt so stuck, like stuck in a prison, at the orphanage. He wanted to be someone more than anyone. And lying down here today, he doesn't know what to feel about it.

He feels no less than the Titanic hero. He whispers the dialogue to himself, dramatically, 'I've got everything I need right here - air in my lungs and dreams in my eyes. I love waking up in the morning, not knowing what will happen or who I will meet. A few hours ago, I got a ride from the most beautiful man I have seen in my life in his rather expensive car, and here I am, sleeping under the bridge with mosquitoes ready to suck my blood the very minute I let my guard down.'

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- Qat