Chapter Eight

Riyaan's face opens like an O. He is also laughing at what just happened!

He sits up. His body turns hot against his skin. Is Ivan testing him for something? His emotions are also hard for him to articulate - he cannot tell if he is elated or disappointed. There is no denying that he enjoys Ivan's presence, and conversations with him particularly a little too much - and may have had a few scenarios in his head with Ivan of their gradually falling in love. But this - this wasn't in any of those scenarios.

But what about his ex or that pending partner?

He reads the text again.

Riyaan: for real?

Ivan: Real what

Riyaan: you're offering yourself up like that?

Ivan: Does it matter?

***

'Good morning,' Ivan says after opening the door for him. Unlike the other days, he waits for Riyaan outside the car, leaning against it.

'Morning,'

The air inside the car is a little tense, especially because Riyaan will open his mouth at any moment while he is thinking back to the chat they had the night before. He still hasn't replied to Ivan.

Ivan seems a lot calmer as if they hadn't talked about sex just the night before. As if he doesn't know what Riyaan is thinking right now. That must be a part of his charm. He also smells a different today - softer and fresher. He would definitely drink that scent if he were in the desert on a hot day.

'Sleep well?'

'Is the offer still up?' Riyaan blurts out only to hear that Ivan is asking whether he slept well at the same time. The longer he holds it, the longer he will suffer.

Is the offer still up? Is. the. Offer. Still. up? Seriously?

'What offer?'

Ivan looks at him with confusion and what it looks like genuine curiosity.

'Yesterday's chat?' He inhales the scent quietly to calm himself. He hates how his brain did a quick replay of the day before to ensure the chat actually happened.

Ivan is still looking at his confusion with a face that is close to saying that he has no idea what he is talking about. Riyaan is taking a step back. What if someone else sent that message?

'You said something.'

'I did?' Ivan asks his temple skin creases. Anyone would miss it if they blinked at the wrong moment - but Riyaan didn't so he sees that little hint of smile and playfulness in Ivan's lips.

'Oh my god, you're just fucking with me!' He groans in pure frustration.

'I still don't know what you talking about?'

'You do. You said we can do ..something rather than Tinder hook-up '

'That we can fuck?'

'That's unfair. You cannot say the word and still sound classy.'

'Well, the offer is still up if you want it,' Ivan says in a gruff voice, bringing his two fingers to his mouth, and smoking a non-existent cigarette. Is that supposed to sound like a low-quality villain in a classic movie? It makes him laugh, and any thought of his saying 'no' to sex with Ivan - even for what Kris warns him against - has become 'yes' now.

'I want it.' Riyaan tries for a not-so-desperate voice.

'Okay, noted.'

'When?' Wrong move. Too desperate. Riyaan knows as he is speaking it.

'Very enthusiastic, I like it.'

'Sorry, I didn't mean to come out as desperate.'

'No, it's fine. I will be busy this week,'

It's embarrassing, Riyaan realises. It feels like setting a plan for shopping with someone or meeting someone to look for a place. Nothing like in romantic movies. If he is going to be busy, why ask sooner? Is he trying to play hard to get?

'Okay.'

'I am going to Paris, I will be back next week. Is that okay?' His voice, calm and soft, as if asking permission from a lover. He knows his game.

'Yeah.'

'We should talk about something before this.'

Anything.

'Yeah?'

'I really find you likeable. But I'm not looking for anything serious at this moment.'

'Yeah, I guessed that. The ex.'

'Yeah. Also, I'm not really looking for anything personal. You were looking for a good time and I can use some good time as well. It's convenient for both of us.'

That's just not true. He wasn't about to use Tinder at all. But if he cannot have Ivan forever, at least he should know what he is not having. One-sided feelings are more common than people know. People don't even get to talk with their crushes often, like Plasi, whose crush is a married woman. But he gets to have sex with someone who he is enamoured with.

He is ready to dismiss the romantic guy in his heart who only takes heart, body and soul for a romantic ideology. It's time he said bye romantic ideology for some days because it's not serving him any purpose - it's not serving naked Ivan, hot and sizzling on a platter. Maybe he wouldn't even like Ivan that much to fall in love with him. Also, he can now at least appreciate Ivan's look openly, tell him how good he looks, how awestruck his poor heart was the first time he saw him. He is going to tell them all to Ivan on the first day.

'Got it.' It's a...good deal.

'No kisses.'

'Uh, what?'

'No kissing on the mouth. It's too personal,' Ivan says.

Is this guy trying to get me to bed or trying to offend me?

'So is fucking,' Riyaan says, voice a little irritated.

'Depends on how you see it,' Ivan says, getting amused at his irritable expression. Is that what it feels like to be 31 years old - not get offended by people's expressions?

'Right, the ideology! Seems like everyone's got one.' He rolls his eyes but in his mind.

'Sorry?'

'It's just a joke...' How would Ivan get his inside joke that he just shared with himself. 'What if I want more? Maybe I'm not looking for just convenience?'

Somewhere, he does realise that he is asking for too much from a man who is clearly stuck with his ex; a man he met just 2-3 months back; and a man just offering him convenience.

'You can always use the Tinder app on your phone.'

'Didn't you say it's for hookups? Also, I already deleted it. Haven't even created a profile.'

'Who's stopping you?' Ivan looks at him with a smiling face.

'Why aren't you?'

'I should actually. In fact, I do need to know how safe this will be for me. Do you have plans to sleep around?'

Plans to sleep around? It's that casual and easy for him – Riyaan hates how casual it sounds, but that's what he was offered, right?

'No. Do you?'

'No. You don't have to worry about that. I don't have time or interest in random people.'

'So, this is like, something in between?'

'Sorry?'

'You don't want it to involve emotions but you don't want it to be random either. So, it's something in between?'

'Sure. However you want to put it.'

Whatever. It's not like he is dying to fall in love with him either.

Meanwhile, he still has no answer to what if he wants more, but he concludes that it's out of the question. Maybe this will be a good practice for his forever partner. Maybe when the real one comes along, he won't even remember who Ivan is anymore.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

*    *   *

The oddest time for him so far in the year was when Ivan went to Paris. He finds his route to his work boring, and Kris' home empty, even though he is supposed to be there just for games. Although, Kris and Preet don't seem to miss his presence at all. Why should they?

After the fourth day, he finally gets a text in the morning from him, offering to drop him to his work. Something inside him makes his cheeks go warmer and knees weaker just by releasing that Ivan remembers – about dropping him to his work.

'Hi, how are you.'

'Good, how was Paris? I actually sent you a text and you were like a lost man. I thought you might have gotten kidnapped.'

'Paris was good. I try not to indulge in too many distractions – phones and such while travelling.'

'Sounds fair.'

'By the way, I still don't know what your favourite food or cuisine is, apart from chilli lemon noodles.'

'It's not even 10 o'clock, you are thinking of lunch already?'

'No.' Ivan laughs. 'Sorry, that came out a little hastily.'

'You don't say.' Riyaan still waits for him to explain the sudden interest in his interest in food. Truth be told, he is not interested in food – in general, but to tell this to Ivan would be a bad move. Ivan doesn't seem like a person who would take offence, but considering he likes to cook, he just doesn't want to come off as disrespectful.

'You want to come to my place today, after work, for dinner? I can cook whatever you want.'

Whoa!

A silly smile is going to break out on his lips, and before he knows it, it might break into a laugh. And then he will look like a silly stupid man. He forces his eyes close, and takes a deep breath before saying, 'Yeah, I'd love that.'

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