Just to Clarify

⚠️So this will be deleted after a while but just to clarify and stuff. It also talks about suicide and depression and rape so watch out...⚠️

Hey...wow it's been a while. Anyways uhm I haven't been updating recently for a lot of reasons. Anyways to get the easy part out I am still gonna upload but it's kinda hard right now. I'll tell y'all more in a sec. Anyways I'll delete this once I get the next chapter out but it's kinda gonna take a while.

So the long version:

I think most people understand the concept of depression and anxiety and whatever. Anyways I have had depression since I was like 11? Somewhere around there and it's always been kinda bad. Like I've mentioned that one of my friends died from suicide a while ago and it really hurt. And well I mean I don't blame her. I think...and I'm putting this out there so y'all understand, not for pity but I've tried killing myself 3 times? Idk it's around there. Of course the first one I failed, the second I stoped halfway through and the last was cause my dad talked me through it. I hate therapists and I hate the idea of having to talk to people in such an unnatural setting so my dad and I are kinda relying on each other for mental support. Apart from the fact that one time my dad went to a therapist (after he found out one of his friends was raping his daughters (my sisters in law? Idk close enough)) and when he shared how angry he was the therapist tried to throw him in prison for being angry...so no trust here at all.

So I'm having a bad mental health time...yay. Anyways the other fact is that I got a job that I'm working on and it leaves me so tired all the time. It's hard but I enjoy it plus you know...paying rent to my parents kinda makes me need one so yeah...it's really expensive where I live so literally I can't move out even if I get two part time jobs. Like I'm planing on college but I fail every single online class so...not a good idea right now but I don't wanna wait much longer so...yeah. Plus life just kinda sucks. So I kinda feel like a failure, that adds up.

Anyways not a good time right now for my favorite hobby. I am working on it but it's gonna be slow. But it will still be going on cause I like the idea and it could be fun with a few tweaks here and there but I like it. So yes I plan on continuing.

Thank you all for the understanding and honestly the hilarious comments, I love y'all. See you next time (the plan is sometime this month, I hope)

(Plus please don't start making a big deal of what I'm mentioning, I'll be ok in the end but for now I'm struggling so...yeah I hate making big deals of stuff.)