Sacred Words

Hannah

It was still dark when an alert on my phone startled me awake. I had gotten used to having a warm body behind me, but the bed was cold and the covers had been pulled back.

Jordan’s phone sat on the nightstand, so I knew he couldn’t be far, but the light in the bathroom was off.

Looking at my watch, I noticed it was only a few minutes past three, much earlier than we would typically wake up to make it to the gym by five.

“Where are you?” I said under my breath as I climbed out of bed and reached for Jordan’s shirt on the chair in the corner.

We had gone out to dinner the night before with his parents. I had been terribly nervous, but his dad was sarcastic and funny. It had been like hanging out with a grown-up Parker all night.

It was a nice glimpse into where Jordan’s affectionate and encouraging behavior had come from. His dad, Max, was very tender with Cynthia, even after a few decades together.

It gave me hope for the future, but I was trying not to get ahead of myself.

The lights were off in the hallway, but I could see the door to the basement cracked open. There was a turned-on table lamp in the seating area off to the side, but Jordan wasn’t on the couch.

As I took the last step down the stairs, I could hear the sound of some kind of loud impact and his occasional grunts.

When I slipped into the corner of the alcove where the gym was, I could see Jordan’s barely illuminated form throwing jabs at a sizable, freestanding punching bag.

He was shirtless, and his hair was a total mess, sticking up and covered with sweat. His back glistened with perspiration, and I could see his muscles ripple with every hit.

His low-slung compression shorts were also dark with sweat, and it was apparent he’d been down here awhile.

I just watched him for a few minutes as he took light steps side to side and threw his glove-covered fists for heavy undercuts against the bag. It’d spring back toward him with every hit, and he just kept on going.

He must have noticed me because his stance faltered, and he threw a few more light hits into the bag before he turned to face me.

“Hey there, tough guy,” I said quietly.

“Hey,” his voice was quiet, and his eyes were tired. He wasn’t just down here because he couldn’t sleep. He was upset about something.

“Are you okay?” I crossed the few feet dividing us and cautiously touched his shoulder, rubbing my hand down the straining muscles.

“I don’t know. I just…” He let out a shaky breath, and his stance just deflated. I wasn’t sure what had happened in the five hours since we’d gone to bed, but he was shaken.

“Hey, talk to me. What’s going on?”

He shook his head and ran one of the gloves over his hair, sweat dripping down the side of his face. His towel was draped over the seat of the weight bench, so I stepped around him to grab it.

The loud sound of Velcro being pulled open startled me, but he was just pulling off his gloves and shaking out his tape-covered hands.

“It’s three in the morning, why are you down here beating the shit out of things when you have to go to work in an hour?”

“My dad called around two.”

He was worrying me, with the frown marring his features and the gruff voice.

“Is everything alright?”

“No... fuck... I don’t know.” He sighed heavily, and I saw his eyes glisten with unshed tears.

“Hey, come here,” I coaxed him forward and ran the lightweight towel up the side of his face and across his brow, gently rubbing it down the other side and back into his sweaty hair.

One of his hands grasped my hips and pulled me forward, the front of his shirt brushing against his sweaty chest.

“Talk to me,” I murmured as I watched his troubled eyes.

“Mal almost got arrested last night.”

Shit. I was not expecting that.

“I don’t know what happened exactly; I need to talk to Mollie. But I guess she decided last night was the night she was going to obliterate her sobriety.” He exhaled roughly.

“She got kicked out of a bar, and they threatened to call the cops, but Mollie came to pick her up. She tried to take her home, but Mal started yelling at her. She called our parents, and then she took her over there.”

“Is she okay?”

“Which one? Mallory or Mollie?” He shook his head with a sardonic laugh.

“I was asking about Mallory, but both, I guess,” I responded quietly.

“Why would you even care how she is?” It wasn’t an accusation, just a genuine question.

“She’s been such a bitch to you. I wouldn’t think it’d matter if she were okay,” he said quietly, running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair.

“Of course it matters,” I insisted. “Horrible behavior aside, she’s still your baby sister. I don’t want bad things to happen to her.”

He brought his other hand around my side and pulled my hips further into his, bending forward and resting his sweaty forehead on my shoulder.

I continued to gently brush the towel over the back of his head, and I could feel him taking shaky breaths as the adrenaline high wore off.

“You’re amazing,” he whispered as he brought his fingers up to the collar of my shirt and pushed the fabric out of the way. His lips gently caressed my collarbone, and I relaxed into his hold.

“I care about you. Your family is a part of you,” I whispered as I felt a prick of tears in my eyes.

“Oh... Hannah.” He took another shaky breath and pulled me into him, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

“What’s going to happen?” I whispered as he held me tightly.

“Rehab, I guess. They were trying to get her into an inpatient facility, but it’s the middle of the night.”

“Do we need to go over there?”

He leaned back and kissed the side of my jaw. “I love how you said ‘we’, like this is your problem.

“If you’re this upset, I’m not leaving you,” I insisted.

“Dad told me just to stay here. She passed out in the guest bedroom. Cynthia and Mollie are watching her,” he told me quietly.

“Is there anything we can do?” I felt a little helpless; I wanted to take this burden away from him.

“I don’t know. I need to go in early and figure out how to cover this week.” He exhaled roughly.

“I can help where you need me, Park too,” I offered without hesitation. Parker was firmly on team Coach J; I knew he’d jump right in wherever he was needed.

“That’s sweet to offer, but you’re not a coach, and I don’t know who I can draw from with actual training experience,” he worried.

“I wish I had hired another trainer with all the traffic we got during the challenge, but Mal didn’t want me to cut her hours to work another body into the schedule.”

He shook his head and pulled back from me, reaching down to grab a water bottle and taking several large gulps.

“Can Mollie help?” I asked curiously. It wasn’t like she could go to rehab with her twin.

“Yeah, she can, but I’m not sure how long it’ll be until Mal is settled somewhere. I don’t think she’ll be able to help until she knows what’s going on.”

“What about Ty?” I asked, trying to help him work through a solution.

“I can ask him to cover the evening classes, but I’ll need to rearrange the personal training sessions and the desk help to do it.”

“I’m sure if you explained to the members that you need to adjust the schedules to accommodate an emergency, they’d understand,” I told him quietly.

The community at the gym was like nothing I’d ever seen. It was like a tight-knit family.

“I know some of them might, but Mal has some loyal clients, and people are nosy. If it gets out that she’s got a problem with prescription drugs and alcohol, I’m gonna lose members left and right.”

He sighed as he glanced over at me.

“Shit,” I exclaimed roughly. I had no idea about the drugs.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his lips pursed together in a tight line.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” I asked quietly.

“It wasn’t my business to share,” he told me honestly. “She’s been sober for a few years. It wasn’t until about six months ago that her behavior started to get erratic.”

“So it wasn’t me.” I sighed in relief.

“No... it wasn’t you.” He shook his head. “I saw warning signs before I ever met you. She insisted she had it under control and that she was still attending meetings.”

He grabbed my hand and sat down heavily on the leather couch, tipping back the rest of the water bottle and putting it on the coffee table.

“God, I feel like such a dick that I’m worried about how this affects the gym,” he shook his head. “She’s my sister. Even when she’s a bitch, I still love her.”

“You’re not a dick,” I insisted.

He sat back and leaned his head against the couch, closing his eyes. I turned sideways and scooted up next to him, running my fingers through his hair.

After a few moments, his eyes opened, and he gave me a sad look. “I don’t know how I can manage all this and still have any free time.”

“We’ll figure it out,” I promised. We had finally reached a point in our relationship where we were on the same page. I wasn't letting him push me away.

“We don’t get as much time together as I’d like already.” He frowned.

“You’re not gonna scare me away with this.” I gave him a loaded look and received a tiny smile in return.

“Hannah, this isn’t fair to you. You’ve already put up with enough shit because of me.”

“If I can survive being burned by the Dragon and we come out stronger on the other side, then we can get through this,” I told him honestly.

“I’m going to have to pull at least eight-hour days, probably every day.”

“You can’t push yourself that hard without help,” I insisted. He’d burn himself out, and then he wouldn’t be a help to anyone.

“I don’t know who else to ask.” He shrugged. He was like me; he had trouble asking for help.

“None of the members have a background in training or therapy, something sports-related?”

“Well…” he mused as he tilted his head. “Tate does.”

“Then ask her,” I insisted.

“She’s teaching. She’s not going to have time to save my ass.” He let out a humorless laugh.

“You never know unless you ask. I’m willing to bet she’d step in if she knew you guys needed her,” I told him, hoping he’d let her. “She seems pretty tight with Mollie.”

“She is... but do you really think she’d adjust her own work schedule?”

“I think you need to ask. Even if it’s one day a week, that takes the pressure off of you until you can hire someone,” I insisted. “People will help you if you ask for it.”

He turned to face me and cupped the side of my face with his hand. The rough fabric of the wrap was still a little damp, but his lips were soft as he kissed me tenderly.

“Thank you,” he murmured softly.

“For what?” I asked curiously, placing my hand over his.

“For helping me work through this. Hitting the bag helped get the frustration out, but you helped me figure out a solution.”

“You know I’m here if you need to talk to me.” I smiled softly. “Sometimes, it helps to have someone pull you out of your own head.”

“You’re not just someone, Hannah. I feel like I finally have a partner.”

I let out a surprised breath and felt my eyes well up briefly with tears. I felt so much for this man, and he was making me emotional with his open sincerity.

“I feel that way too,” I whispered roughly.

“Hannah…” He reached up and rubbed his thumb across my cheekbone.

“Hmm?” I stared deeply into his eyes.

“I love you.”

My breath caught in my throat as I looked between both of his tired green eyes. He meant it. It wasn’t just some spontaneous, passionate slip. He genuinely loved me. “Oh…”

“I know it might seem like a weird time, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you for a while now, but—”

I cut him off as I pushed up to my knees and straddled his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into his shoulder. “I love you too.”

“You do?” he asked quietly, almost in disbelief.

The tears that had formed in my eyes slipped down my cheeks, and I leaned back, grabbing the sides of his jaw and looking into his eyes.

“Of course I do,” I nodded. “You’re sweet and compassionate. You make me feel like I matter to you every day. You push me to be a better person.”

I brushed some of his sweaty hair off his forehead with my fingertips.

“No one has ever made me feel the way you do,” I confessed quietly.

“Good,” he laughed as he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me flush against him. “Because that’s exactly how I feel about you.”

“I love you... so much,” he said emphatically, and I could feel how much he meant the words.

“So don’t even think about trying to push me away because you’re going through something hard,” I warned him, “I’ll find you.”

“'Cause that didn’t sound creepy.” He laughed as he leaned forward to peck my lips.

I looked down at my watch and saw that it was well past three-thirty. We only had a little while before we needed to get ready to leave. “Let’s go back to bed.”

“What time is it?” he asked.

“It's almost four,” I replied quietly.

“We'd have to get up in about fifteen minutes anyway,” he smiled.

“I wasn't thinking of sleeping,” I whispered as I leaned forward and kissed him softly, slowly parting his lips with my tongue.

“Oh... yeah. I suddenly feel like I need to lie down.” He smiled as he leaned forward and picked me up from the couch, holding me to his chest.

“I can walk.” I laughed. “I do have legs.”

“Oh, I know you do.” His voice was low as he adjusted his hold on me to grasp my thighs firmly.

“And they're right where they belong, wrapped around me.”

“Oh…”

He laid a hot kiss on the side of my neck and started across the room to the staircase. I put my head down on his shoulder and held on tight as he carried me up the stairs and down the hallway to his bedroom.

“I love you,” he murmured as he cupped the back of my neck and gently leaned me back on his bed, his knee propped on the edge as he laid me down on the soft sheets.

“I love you too,” I whispered back as he unfastened the wraps on his hand and dropped them to the floor.

His fingers started to unbutton his shirt I was wearing from the bottom up, and his large palms pushed the fabric to the side and caressed the skin on my bare breasts.

I hadn’t put any panties on, so I was completely bare after he tugged the sleeves down my arms and freed me from the fabric.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” he whispered as he stood and pushed down his shorts, his hard cock springing free. My legs parted as he crawled back onto the bed and covered my bare body with his own.

“You’re mine.” His voice was rough as he cupped my cheeks and kissed me thoroughly, his hips rubbing his hardness against my folds.

“You’re mine too,” I gasped as he ran one of his hands down my side and pulled my thigh around his hip.

“Fuck yes, I am,” he affirmed as he shifted his hips and pressed inside me. My back arched up off the bed, and my hands slipped over his muscular shoulders as he penetrated me fully.

His facial hair scratched my neck as he kissed my pulse point, sucking lightly on the skin as he started a slow rhythm, filling me completely.

“Oh, Jordan,” I moaned as he used his grasp on my thigh to tilt my hips up. He picked up the pace a little and drove into me with long, purposeful strokes as his lips traveled across my shoulder and down to my breasts.

He nipped at my chest as I arched against him and tried to move my hips against the force of his thrusts.

“Fuck. You’re warm. You feel so good.” He leaned back and knelt on the bed before me, pulling my hips up onto his thighs as his hips never faltered.

He looked down on me with heated eyes as he drove into me, his grip firm on the outside of my thighs.

“Oh God,” I moaned as he tilted my hips up further and started hitting me in just the right place. “Ohhhh…”

My hips shot up as his thumb pressed on my clit and started rubbing me in rapid movements along with his steady thrusts.

“Fuck yes, come on, baby,” he urged as he pounded into me harder.

“Oh, God, I’m…” My voice was almost hoarse as I cried out when my climax hit. I convulsed around him as he kept on thrusting and prolonged the incredible sensation.

His hands gripped my thighs, and he started pounding into me, chasing his own release.

“Oh fuck, Hannah…yes!” His hips shot forward into me, and his whole body tensed. He pulsed inside of me as he emptied his release into my satisfied body.

Propping myself up on one elbow, I ran my other hand up his abdomen.

He panted with his eyes closed for a few moments and then leaned forward, his elbows landing on either side of my head as he kissed me tenderly.

My hands roamed the sharp planes of his shoulders and back as our heartbeats started to slow.

“I love you,” I whispered against his lips, and he smiled before echoing the sentiment and pulling me as tight to his chest as he could manage.

Things might have gotten more complicated for a while, but we always had each other.