A Request to Find its Quest

Chapter 39

Ashlyn's POV

It has become many restless nights for me. Yearning for my mother's words to read, to feel her sincere pleas. There was never a time in a day that I didn't reread her words. How? No, why? Why was I too late to discover her journal? Why didn't I had a reason to learn more than what my curse was made for? Why didn't I unfold what truth lies underneath my curse and my mother who is connected to it? Why didn't I ask myself once why was I coming back to the same family who made me suffer? I want all this shit to make sense. My mother knows more than what is happening to me. There are many missing pieces I didn't know. It's all driving me crazy. The truth itself is insane as it is. Looks like I'll supplicate an audience to the duke.

"Mia Ashlyn De Alegro!" I flinch as a shout goes along with it from the side. Or rather from in front of me. I shrugged, "What did you say, uncle?" I gave a slight smile. Uncle was pouting. Must be because I was in my deep thoughts. He's a bit scornful lately because of my thoughts bugging me. Uncle Philip sighed and chuckled, I concurrently chuckled to match his. "I said, the imperial siblings have woken from their coma. The princes are seeking your appearance. You haven't visited the empress since the last time you had fun with the princes. You know what's been happening to them, dear. They ought to see you, their friend, especially the crown prince. I think since they come around again. Crown prince Claude is madly requesting your appearance since yesterday evening. Victor had learned his request last night. That was around you, Adrian, and I was talking with Ezekiel through a magic orb. Brother pass me what the crown prince wanted. He told me to talked to you about it tomorrow which is now." Uncle stopped from his long explanation. "And I'm asking a while ago do you want to meet them up?" He finished with a question.

"Before I answer your question. I want to talk to you about something. I'll cut to the chase. I want to leave." Uncle was drinking his herbal tea when he heard me say I wanted to leave. He splutters his drink onto me. I was drench because of what he did. Uncle Philip became pale as he realized what he did. I saw how his features have turned flustered, "Uncle, it will surely be a help if you find a towel or something to help me get dried." I didn't hesitate to give a deadpan smile. In a flinch, he took a towel from his small cabinet and instantly gave it to me. By the way, I am in his room. I thanked him. He came back to his chair across mines. "I felt stupid at what I had done." He sulked. Mumbling a few more words at what he did.

Uncle came back to his senses as he cough, "Okay, tell me clearly. Why do you want to leave? I thought you are happy here. You have been living with us for five years now. Why the change of mind? What is going on? It's..... not like you." I simultaneously scoff. Hearing it wasn't like me? "If only you knew." I mouth. "What did you say?" Uncle Philip was confused. I waved as if I didn't say anything.

"I decided on my own to go to a boarding school abroad. To learn more there. I know many knowledgeable scholars are there." I kept my short as possible I think I did. "Ashlyn, dear, many geniuses are also here in the empire. No, in the whole continent. Why must go far away from us?" He stared at me intensely. "I've heard that the southern continent is a beautiful place." I saw how his shoulders slope. Describing it, it was like his shoulder is being loaded by boulders. "If you want to see beautiful scenery then we can travel to the whole Lune continent. All provinces and small kingdoms are ruled by our mother empire. We can go there. No need to go somewhere farther than here." He claims as he smiled. He smiled wide and was gritting his teeth preventing it to say more words than get into a fight. Uncle does that whether he doesn't want to say further things that will get into something. "That's why I want to go to a boarding school there just to see the sights in the south. Come on, uncle, It will just be a few years. I will also tell father. And I know, he'll agree to it, I think so." I said as I gave him my deadpan cute eyes. Though I had my serious face on my eyes we're tempting him to agree with me. Uncle couldn't take what was I saying, he was supposed to defend once again. Yet he gives up. "Okay, okay, then why are you saying that to me? Why not say it to brother directly?" His voice sound really defeated. "Just like what I said a while ago I'll tell father. Then you'll go to your spot and be there to support me. I need someone to back me up if father is against it."

I smiled. And that's it, uncle didn't take it any longer he slammed his face into his hands. "I thought when you'll grow up, you will not be like your brothers. You will not grow rebellious. I don't even know if I can call what you want rebellious or not. Alas, suit yourself. Just remember that I will be by your side. No matter what." Uncle, dearest, smiled helplessly. I chuckled. I throw my head up to see the ceiling. It was embellished by a painting of how the sun goes down and how the moon strikes to where it should be when it's night. In reality or fantasy, this family is hella rich. Charlotte, that girl, really lived a life like a princess. I grinned a bit remembering how she let me die in her or rather others' hands. Yet, uncle Philip described Charlotte as someone like her mother, duchess Odette. Gentle and bright. Nevertheless, I can't see nor feel the gentle and bright in Charlotte before. I only feel an aura of evil on her. Not fully vile, it was sometimes faint. Whoa, why does the topic of my mind replaced with Charlotte? Fuck,

"And yes, uncle, I will visit my royal friends at the palace. Can you please send a letter to the princes that'll I will go to the palace?" I said, still, looking at the ceiling. I heard him mumbled, "First, you said you want to study abroad. Second, you want me to side you. And third, you are dictating me? What a good niece you are." Uncle scoff. Thus I know he rolled his eyes. " 'Kay, I'll resolve what ya' want." My uncle sighed.

Here's the plan. I'll talk to the duke. Convince him. Travel to the Fairchild continent. Go to a boarding school near my mother's hometown. Easy as I may say. But I still hope the duke will grant it for me.

Noon is at its peak. I, no, we didn't expect brother Ezekiel to come home from school. He said their academy had a one-week vacation due to their 125th  anniversary. I would never think that the school for nobles has been around for a hundred more years now.

Me and my non-related brothers are gathered at the dining hall. Where both sides of me are occupied by them. Huh, if they want to have a conversation they should have sat beside each other. I was listening to their conversation about academy life brother Kiel had. Seriously, I hoped they should have sat beside each other. Both sides of my ears are engaged by their voices. Like birds chirping, I describe them as birds. "Brothers, I suggest you both sit at each other's side than be with mine. I want to wait for father and uncle silently. You two are very rowdy." I speak up. Their beaks then shut. Hmm, silence is at my side once again. Good.

A loud slam from the doorways was heard. What a grand entrance, I sarcastically thought while showing a little grin on my mischievous face. "Kiddos, how are you? You should have not waited for us." A loud bark from a dog, ahem, I mean a loud shout from uncle Philip settled the whole room.

We greeted the duke and his brother. Butler Asher at his position, applaud. Making the maids serve dishes the house chef made. It was delicious by the way. Seconds passed. We are quiet eating. Eating like we're strangers than a family should be like in a dining room. It really happens strangely. That we are eating this-Too quiet. There was no tension going around. That's a solace. A chance is given by thy gods. As my saying goes; Think, risk, take the chance, and accept what will happen after it.

"Father," I caught their heeds. Looking at me with fretful eyes. Except for uncle, I saw how his completion hit him. His bubbly appearance was replaced with an anxious one but a good one. I hope so. "I want to study abroad." Ezekiel was drinking his water when he heard what I said. His jaw dropped, water then dripped from his mouth. Adrian choked. Uncle Philip stayed silent. The maids that are gathered from the side, standing, winced at what I had spoken. And the duke released an amount of dark mana tension all around the room. Capturing every empty corner of the whole dining hall. The duke slammed his fist as he stood. Head still down to his food.

"What?" His voice held three things; Rough, scary, and anger. Uncle Philip was sweating. The two sons of the family are in a dazed. "Father, I said, I want to leave," I repeated.

"Why?" Why? The fuck, I wish you knew. I wish you all knew. "I heard the Fairchild continent is as magical as it is." I lied. The duke, then again, slams his fist on the table. Making it shiver. "You can go to any school here. Or you can go study where Ezekiel is studying now. Universities or boarding schools. You can only study here where I can say you are safe. Many are after all De Alegro family's members. Some back-stabbed and others attacked in front of us. You are my daughter. Many will come after you. It's good that I can see you here. Your brothers can handle themselves. But I know you can't." Go after me? Huh, can they have the nerve if I kill them first? I'm not afraid of them or this shitty family. I couldn't help but show my sarcastic smirk. I saw how uncle flinch. It wasn't just uncle rather all of them did.

"Protecting me? Or monitoring me?" I groan, it was a vicious tide in my mind. Memories came back like big waves drowning people. Where each one of this family hurt me. Well, except uncle. It's good I'm not their real daughter. But damn why can't I resent them? Yes, I hate them until now. Yet I can't forsake this family. There were times before I wanted to kill them. I had the power, the strength, the mind that can help me murder them like how they did to me. I was a coward, I was weak at this family. I hated them with all will I had. However, between hate and torments, deep inside. I know. There's this thing making me doubt all my hate towards them. There were reasons to dispatch them silently or show the people how they treated me. Reasons I couldn't know why I didn't use it. I'm pathetic. I can't forgive them. Maybe I did a little act back then to lower their guards. To trust me. Fantasizing I can have what I wanted. A family. I whimper in my thoughts what I did at the duke's office. I cried. It was realistic to them but for me. It was just damned bullshit I needed to do. So they don't suspect me more. At that time, I was thinking would it be great if I had a chance to be family with them again. Nevertheless, like always, I am just imagining things that will never happen in realism on the other hand idealism.

I act like a child every time I woke back to the beginning. My body may be like a child. But every time I woke up, half of my thoughts are like a child's desire. Let's just say I'm sobering up from my child state. That's why I had the guts to forgive the duke back then. I always regret doing that.

"You're my daughter. I am protecting you, of course." Finally, the duke himself looked up. The duke directly stared at me. He looked at me with hesitation about what his own words slip through his mouth.

"I," I didn't finish my words. The stunned De Alegro brothers gradually looked at me. Like they are expecting something else to come out from my lips. "I am not your daughter. I have always been the substitute for your daughter. No, I'm more like the substitute of your late wife, the duchess. I heard I am the carbon copy of her. Am I right, father?" I plainly say. I pick myself up. Starting to go away from them. "Why are you saying this? I adopted you, I am your father, my sons are your brothers, and Philip is your uncle. Isn't that enough?" I paused, this wasn't over yet? I gingerly gritted my teeth. I wanted to say many things but there was no strength in me to say it. Under the circumstances, this family wasn't enough. Uncle Philip, maybe, was enough. Nonetheless, there will be a day I know he will be someone like them. Even if his kindness was throughout all reincarnations I lived. I know he will do something. Like they did to me. I cannot trust the whole world again. When the whole world was the first to walk away. I may have reunited with uncle Hunter and everyone else. That's not enough. My heart has a wide scar covering with the only emotions left in me. People who are beside me will die if I trust them too much. Either I kill them or they get killed. I can't kill them. And I'm afraid they will get killed.

I grasp for the door. Touching it lightly before I can ever step out of this room, I answered the duke, "I'm your daughter at paper rights only. Father, you are treating me as a substitute. A replacement, a stand-in, an alternative, a proxy, a trade of relief from someone who is the same age as your daughter, and a replica of your wife. It wasn't just you. It was this whole family who treated me like an alter. You think that everything can change if you see me as someone who is blood-related to you. Still, I was only a standby who needs to act like your daughter or a younger sister. I want to leave this place to regain myself. Realizing I'm in a debt from you, father, to this whole family. I own a debt that I shouldn't mistreat by doing something you would be disappointed at. What I have are all own by you, by this family; Jewelry, clothes, toys, and all of what you gave is all just a debt I need to pay. But what's the most debt I have from you, it was my new life I have lived for five years, at this moment. That's why I want to study abroad to learn more things. After that, I can find a job, pay for the new life I lived on." I said as I go out. Part of what I said is the truth and half of it is a lie.

Victor's POV

"I'm your daughter at paper rights only. Father, you are treating me as a substitute. A replacement, a stand-in, an alternative, a proxy, a trade of relief from someone who is the same age as your daughter, and a replica of your wife. It wasn't just you. It was this whole family who treated me like an alter. You think that everything can change if you see me as someone who is blood-related to you. Still, I was only a standby who needs to act like your daughter or a younger sister. I want to leave this place to regain myself. Realizing I'm in a debt from you, father, to this whole family. I own a debt that I shouldn't mistreat by doing something you would be disappointed at. What I have are all own by you, by this family; Jewelry, clothes, toys, and all of what you gave is all just a debt I need to pay. But what's the most debt I have from you, it was my new life I have lived for five years, at this moment. That's why I want to study abroad to learn more things. After that, I can find a job, pay the new life I lived on."

I... was I treating her as a replacement? I sat back again. My right hand is massaging my forehead, my other hand is being supported by the arm of the chair. I was just trying to say that I can't lose her like Charlotte. Why did this happen? This is making me confuse. What she said made my mind bewildered. What do I really treat her as? Like Charlotte? Like Odette? Or like my own child?

"Brother," I hear Philip whispered, I looked at him. He was nervous about what I'll answer at his call. "This is only my suggestion. If that's what Ashlyn wants then why not follow what she wants. Besides, it can help you two chill at what things led you both into an argument. Let the child go for a while." I sternly look at him, I breathed. Maybe this is for the best. Letting her think what she wants. Now, I don't want to face her in a state where we fill a whole room with our disastrous presences.

"Find a boarding school near the capital of Lenoir empire. Or if Ashlyn has a school that she already liked, ask her about it and enroll her there." I said, "Philip, take the boys out. I want to be alone. By the way, the maids also. Now, go." Every one of them walks out of my sight.

I groan, what kind of father am I?