once

December 6, 2024.

Yes. I confess. Not that I literally confessed to her, though. It’s just something I admit to myself.

You know? I have a little crush on her. I didn’t know it would happen. Okay? It just—popped up. I don’t even know where it started. But now it’s here.

I felt this weird sadness when she said it was going to be her last day as our teacher. I don’t even know why I felt like that.

Like there was this hole inside me. It hit me harder than I thought it would. Like I was mourning something that hasn’t even happened yet.

Maybe because, deep down, I knew it meant more than just her leaving. It meant a lot more.

I can still remember that picture we took together. Both of us smiling.

But it wasn’t just a casual smile. She held my waist, and the second her hand touched me, it felt like something in me wanted to jump out, like all the things I wasn’t saying would just spill out.

But yeah, maybe it’s just admiration, right? Nothing more than that. Haha, I’m probably overthinking this.

Now, I finally get it.

Kaya pala siya hindi lumalapit sa akin, hndi tinatawag ako tuwing may recitation kasi aalis siya. She didn’t want to make me sad. She didn’t want to add to the emptiness I’d feel when she’s gone.

I never realized it before, but now it makes sense.

She’s been trying to protect me... from the sting of saying goodbye. She’s been keeping her distance because she knows how painful it would be for both of us if we got too close.

Maybe that’s why she hasn’t said anything. She’s just trying to spare me the hurt. She doesn’t want to leave me with more than the memory of her.

So, I’ll keep pretending.

I’ll keep pretending it’s just a crush, that it doesn’t matter. But deep down, I know it does. It matters more than anything.

──

Ms. Hontiveros' POV

I stand in front of the class, the silence weighing heavy in the air. Everyone’s waiting for me to speak, but I can’t shake the feeling that the words I’m about to say will change everything.

"Alice..." I start, my voice steady despite the storm brewing inside me. I need to say this. She needs to know, even if it hurts.

"I’ve made my decision. I’ll be leaving soon. This will be my last day teaching here."

I watch her carefully. Her eyes widen just a fraction, her lips part as if she’s about to say something.

But she doesn’t. Instead, she just stares at me, this quiet understanding passing between us that no one else in the room could possibly see.

It’s like we’re speaking without words, and I can feel her heart beating faster, just like mine.

In my mind, I know that what we shared—the moments, the touches, the silence that spoke louder than any confession ever could—it was never meant to last.

It was never supposed to go beyond that brief, fleeting connection. Just a secret between us. A passing thing, nothing more.

But it doesn’t stop the ache in my chest, the part of me that wants to stay, that wants to do everything differently. I clear my throat, trying to hold myself together.

"You’re a good student, Alice. You have so much potential." My voice cracks slightly as I look at her, feeling the weight of my words.

"You’ll do great things, I’m sure of it." I look away, unable to hold her gaze any longer, afraid I’ll give too much away.

But in my mind, the truth echoes: What we’ve done… it stays with us. It’s ours to carry, just us. Nobody else needs to know.

I force myself to turn back to the class, trying to push aside the emotions that threaten to spill over.

The truth is, I can’t keep pretending that this doesn’t matter to me. That I don’t care.

But I know I have to leave. For both our sakes. Because if I don’t, I’ll ruin everything.

I have to walk away.

And when I do, I know Alice will never truly understand why I had to.

I’m walking out of the school building, carrying my things in a bag that suddenly feels heavier than it should.

Maybe it’s the weight of what’s coming, or maybe it’s the weight of everything I’ve been trying to bury inside me.

But then I hear it.

"So, how are you pretending to be a student-teacher, Navarro?"