Chapter 21

When everyone gathered in the living room to chat, I slipped outside. I was carrying a staff that I had already prepared. As I shed the weight and my body took shape, it was easier to do the forms necessary to use the staff.

“I’m really going to have to practice.”

The type of sword technique I planned to show during the rival mission was called the Twenty-four Step Swordsmanship. Swordsmanship is really something, especially since a particular scent comes off the wooden handle with every swing. I planned to use three techniques to fully impress Jinwoo. The first step is Sung-ryu, which was shaping the scent to a movable stream. Then, it was Chim-gol, which was pushing the scent to permeate through someone’s skin. And finally, the Intoxicating Jab, which will overwhelm Jinwoo’s senses and intoxicate him with the scent and sight of the staff.

If there’s one potential flaw, it’s that the viewers won’t be able to sense the fragrance for themselves. But I was confident that the view alone would be enough to impress the public.

“Let’s practice.”

Today is Thursday. We’re filming the audition next Monday. I should be at around 50 kg by then.

***

Friday night –

The episode was over. Perhaps it was because I was such a hot topic in the news, but the editing team did a really good job. I showed up a lot compared to other members, and they edited my scenes really nicely. And with the release of the trailer that showcased my new slender body, the public began to take more interest in me.

Was everyone else okay with this? As far as I could see, they were. On the outside, everyone seemed to be very happy for me. They would praise the editing and wish me luck. But I knew that on the inside, many of them were not pleased. For a lot of the trainees, they were putting everything on the line for the auditions. The number of times they showed up in an episode could heavily affect the voting results. I knew there would be a lot of envious members. It would be strange if they weren’t.

“The editing was done really nicely. Don’t you think so, Sian?” Jumi said to me as she smiled brightly. I don’t know about others, but I knew Jumi really did care about me. It’s all in her eyes, and you can tell a lot about a person when you look into their eyes.

“Yeah. They really did their best to make me look good.”

“But are you really not traumatized?”

“About what?”

“The stuff that happened with Chun-ah. Are you really okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied with a bright smile. I wasn’t going to let a guy like Chun-ah ruin my day. Why should I? He’s the one who did something wrong. And I wasn’t going to waste my thoughts on him any longer. Karma would take care of him on its own.

“That’s amazing. You’re tougher than I thought. With the whole weight-thing as well.” Jumi stared at me in awe, then added.

“To be honest, you seem like a different person.

“Um…really?”

That took me off guard. Luckily, I managed to keep my expression under control.

“Maybe I’m going through an identity crisis.”n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“Are you sure you’re Sian?” Jumi asked with a smile.

“Of course,” I replied. Then suddenly, Jumi gave me a hug.

“I love how bright and energetic you’ve become lately. I hope it stays.”

“Sure. Don’t worry,” I answered with a pat on her head. Jumi Yeom. She really is the sweetest. And just then, Jihyun suddenly shouted, “The online voting has started!”

Everyone immediately took out their phones and went to the mu-music homepage. Of course, I logged in as well, and watched the results as they played out in real time. Within the first two minutes, Yoo-young (22) took first place. As expected. She’s beautiful and a talented singer. We already knew she would take first place. She suited first place and she was definitely a member that Lovely Girlz would need. Jihyun (22) got second. We expected that too. She’s sweet, has amazing features and an incredible voice. The public definitely views her as a sub-vocalist. Third place was Hainan. To be honest, this was a surprise. Hainan works hard. But I didn’t think that was enough for her to get third out of fifteen. I wonder if it’s because she’s pretty. She’s also a foreigner and young, so maybe a lot of people were attracted to her because of that. But suddenly, she overtook Jihyun and took second place. Fourth place went to Jia (21), who had performed a bubbly dance. Fifth place was Rhinzi (21), who had performed powerful choreography. Jumi was sixth, Yoojin was seventh, Ara got eighth, ninth was Sena, and tenth place went to Jimin. None of the other ranks showed up after that. Only the first ten are publicly announced. Tenth place kept going back and forth between Jimin (18) and Eunmi (19) but none of the other ranks changed.

“Wait…I’m last place?”

When I saw my rank, I couldn’t believe it. I looked amazing on TV and I know I got a lot of sympathy from the viewers as an assault victim, so how was I unable to enter the top 10? Just look at the comments. They all say things like “Sian, we are rooting for you” and “Sian, fighting!” and “Sian, you inspired me to go on a diet.” There were so many positive comments about me. But I didn’t make the top 10? Is it because I’m fat? Or am I unattractive?

Oh, well. I decided to quickly get over it and just accepted the results. Yeah, I guess that was expected. I wouldn’t have voted for me, either. I suddenly remembered one of the few negative comments I had seen some time ago. The comment had read, ‘Well, I do want to vote for her, but she’s so fat. She’s not right for a girl group.’ Fine. I guess it can’t be helped. Idols receive a lot of love from their fans, but in return, the fans expect a lot. Idols need to take care of themselves and look a certain way. But I made my debut two years ago and I have to yet to show that type of image. I guess I’m just paying for it right now.

“We’ll see next week,” I said to myself. I’ll look completely different next week. So much so that they won’t recognize me.

Time passed and soon it was Sunday.

***

Sunday night –

Sunday night came and there was a little change in the rankings. The Top 3 were Yoo-young, Jihyun, and Hainan, with Jia, Rhinzi, and Jumi right below them. Initially, Jumi and Yoojin kept going back and forth, but now it seems like Jumi was keeping her place.

My weight was now in the 50’s. More specifically, 59kg. I’m no longer a pig. How should I say this? My body definitely has a shape and my face angles are much sharper than before. Not only that, the exercise had helped to improve my skin as well.

“You know, the staff feels good,” I said to myself as I looked at the wooden staff in my hands. We were going to film the Week 3 mission tomorrow, and I told them to get a wooden staff prepared for me. At first, I had asked for a real sword but the crew had quickly shut down the idea. Too bad. A sword would’ve looked even better. Would a wooden staff look the same? To be honest, I wasn’t so sure. But what other choice did I have? I had to work with what I got.

“Okay. Let’s just go for it.”

I concentrated on my weapon. I soon began to swing the staff in the air, using my body to strike faster and faster. Soon, my body felt light and I could feel my mind relaxing. This was it. This was the feeling!

“Feels good.”

I gave one final strike with the staff, relishing in the satisfying sight it made as it striked the air.

***

It was Monday. When I weighed myself this morning, I was at 58kg. Considering my height and chest size, I was almost at my ideal weight.

“Yes...”

I celebrated to myself as I stepped down from the scale. I felt as if I were on top of the world. Wow that feels good.

“Whoa, Sian. That’s amazing,” Jia said as she saw the numbers when she peeked at the scale over my shoulder.

“Yeah, right,” I said with a modest smile and a shrug. Sian the Pig was no more.

“Sian, how much do you weigh now?”

“58kg.”

“Whoa…I can’t believe it...The irony.”

Jia began poking me in various place to inspect me, and I pushed her hands away.

“But why is your chest size the same?”

“I don’t know.”

The strange thing is, my chest size stayed the same. I thought I would lose the fat in them as well, but I was still a C-cup. Unlike Yoojin, who was slim but incredibly flat, I had curves that were round and firm.

“You’re so lucky, Sian.”

Jian was envious of me now.

“What do you mean?”

“You look so pretty now.”

Jia put her face next to me and took a selfie. We looked at the photo and sure enough, our face sizes were now very similar.