Chapter 75 - Chapter 75: Physical Assessment (Part 1)

I opened my bag. All of a sudden, a surprised breath came out of the instructor’s throat.

“What the…”

He looked to be in his early 20’s. He was a sergeant, but he looked very young.

“Is there something I shouldn’t have? I only brought the necessities,” I said firmly. After all, the members helped me pack. They wouldn’t put in stuff I’m not using.

“Are you going on a trip?”

“What do you mean?” I said with a shrug. I came with the intention to train like a real soldier. What’s all this talk about a trip?

“Well…let’s look at them one by one.”

“Okay.”

I took the stuff out of my bag, one at a time. First, the pillow.

“You don’t need this.”

“Oh, but I can’t sleep without it…”

“It’s still not allowed. Your bunks have pillows. That’s the pillow you will use.”

“Okay,” I answered. Well, orders are orders.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a curling iron.”

“….”

The instructor gave me a look of disbelief before a smirk spread over his face.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t bring this in either.”

“Then how will I do my hair? I’m an idol.”

Seriously, would this guy take responsibility if I became a laughingstock?

“You will be required to tie your hair back with a hairtie at all times,” the instructor replied.

“Ugh, fine.”

I ditched the curling iron.

“You can’t have the hair dryer, either.”

“You can’t have the cosmetics…”

“Why do you have so many snacks…you can’t have them.”

And that’s basically how it went. The instructor shooting down pretty much every item I brought.

“So none of this is okay.”

Finally, I held up the chicken. Honestly, I had full intention of sharing it with the guy, but he immediately rejected it.

“You can’t have that either.”

“Wow…”

But a fan gave it to me…though I didn’t say anything. After all, Heejin had done so earlier and all it had gotten her was a scolding. So, I simply handed the chicken over to them.

“Here. You guys can have it then. Consider it a present.”

“Thank you.”

Oh, so now he accepts it. He even smiled. A whole roasted chicken. It is good. And I’m pretty sure they couldn’t eat it all the time. Have fun, you bastard.

Anyways, that concluded the bag inspection. The only things I was allowed to keep were my sunscreen and my toiletries. It’s almost cruel. If I’d known, I would’ve simply carried a tote bag or something, not this heavy ass backpack.

“They don’t know anything either…” I muttered about my group members. Then, I just remembered.

“Hak-gyu, you bastard. I’ll get you for this.”

All the snacks I had bought with his money had been taken from me. I even bought frozen food packs like he told me to. I decided right then not to pay him back for the money. He doesn’t deserve it.

“Please wait outside,” the instructor said with a smile.

“No. I want to see Heejin’s stuff,” I said, looking over at the youngest. Her bag was still being inspected. She was currently holding on tight to her makeup pouch and started to whine.

“You have to give it back…you can’t wear makeup while training…”

The instructor was clearly getting frustrated. This one also looked to be in his early 20’s, though he seemed much nicer than mine. His rank was Corporal.

“Do I really have to…? Hmph….then the fans will know about my rash…the fans will be so disappointed…” Heejin pouted, shaking her head furious. Her instructor gulped. There was no doubt he was affected by how adorable Heejin looked at the moment. Then again, he was only twenty something years old. Also, he spent all his days locked away in this training center. He had no way of letting out his pent up desires, which would make him vulnerable to pretty girls like Heejin. But in the end, he gathered himself together and remained firm.

“Aw…come on, please….can’t you let me keep this?” Heejin asked, deepening her pout. Once again, the instructor seemed to be on the verge of giving in. But again, he managed to stay composed.

“N-no. You can’t! I-I’m sorry…!”

Well damn, I had to give it to him. Hooray for the Korean Army! Hooray for the Korean soldiers! You could definitely trust them to hold their wits.

Finally, Heejin handed over her makeup. She tried to whine again at the pizza, but in the end, she lost that too. She was also left empty-handed, looking pretty sad about that.

“Let’s go, Heejin.”

“Sniff…they took away everything…”

“Me too. It’s okay,” I said, trying to comfort her.

“Um, Sian, do you have toothpaste?”

“Of course.”

“Can I borrow it?”

“Sure. But they said that they would supply us with it themselves.”

“Oh.”

And with that, the inspection finally ended as we headed over to our assigned barracks.

***

As soon as we got to our barracks, we laid down on the floor. We’ve only been here for two hours and I was already exhausted. It’s the kind of fatigue you get after being reborn into a new body. Something like that.

“Sian. I want to fart again,” Heejin said as she scooted over to me.

“....”

I didn’t say anything. What am I? The Fart Police? And why does this girl fart so frequently? She doesn’t tell me every time she has to fart, but I can hear them. Does she have digestive problems?

“Then go ahead,” I replied.

“Then excuse me~”

Pfffft~

It was pretty cute. I’ve never heard someone fart so adorably before.

“Do you have stomach problems?”

“I have irritable bowel syndrome…when I get nervous, I get a lot of gas…”

“Poor thing.”

I guess having a pretty face isn’t everything…still, it seems rather cruel to call her illness a flaw. But irritable bowel syndrome. Since this also has something to do with the brain, a lot of sensitive people have this. If only they could learn to relax. So, I turned to her.

“Just fart all you want. I won’t care.”

“Is it really okay?”

“Of course. As long as it’s not in my face,” I said readily. I had no idea then that she also had constipation…constipation…since people with constipation have a lot of stool stuck inside them, their fart smells can be pretty lethal…basically, the more she farts, the more it will smell…

‘Still, it can’t be worse than a dog’s.’

Really, it couldn’t be.

Bang.

Suddenly, a female instructor opened the door and walked in. We all quickly got up. A stiff silence came over us.

The female instructor broke the silence.

“Hello, everyone.”

Her voice was thick and intimidating. And though she was a woman, her muscles were rather impressive. She sort of reminded me of a bulldog. Everyone tensed up at the sight of her, clearly afraid. I mean, I wasn’t really afraid, but I pretended to be. That’s what Jinwoo said – to act like I’m weak...amongst other things.

“Hello!” We all greeted her loudly, even Jae-yoon. No doubt, she was also a bit scared of the instructor. She acts all tough and bad, but the moment a bigger fish shows up, she’s hiding with her tail between her legs. The sight of it just made me want to step on her.

“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Sanghae Lee and I’ll be your drill instructor. One thing you should know about me is that as an army officer, I can be cold-hearted and take no bullshit. So if you try to act lazy or be funny with me, I will punish you. Understand?”

The instructor’s voice suddenly became loud. We immediately straightened up and replied, “Yes, ma’am!”

“I can’t hear you!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Is that all you got?”

I was tempted to pull out my inner force again, but managed to hold back.

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Bend over!”

We all immediately bent down into an underdog position, sticking our butts out.

“…is something I never want to say. So all of you better listen and obey me.”

We all sat down, feeling shocked.

“Now we’re going to test your physical skills. Are there any of you with a disability?” the instructor asked. We all looked each other, wondering if any of us were sick. As far as I knew, there wasn’t anything.

“No, ma’am!”

“Good. Now if you look behind you, you see your assigned items, right?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Do you see your training clothes?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“I want you to change into your training clothes and get to the field in one minute. Understand?”

“One…one minute..?” Joo-ran asked, clearly not believing what she’d just heard.

“What? Is that not enough for you?”

‘Um, hello? It takes more than a minute just to run to the field,’ I said to myself.

“One minute…that’s…a little harsh…” Joo-ran said, her eyes pleading for more time.

“Fine. Then, you have five minutes. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

The instructor kindly added four more minutes. We immediately scrambled to change clothes.

***

Jae-yoon approached me as I was changing.

“Hey, Sian.”

“Yes?” I said, looking at her. Up close, she looked almost impish. Like a mischievous elf.

“I heard that you’re good at fighting.”

“I mean…I like it,” I said, trying to sound modest.

“But I bet I can beat you if I train for a couple of months.”

“Oh…hehe…”

I just smiled. What do you even say to that?

“What? You don’t believe me?”

“I don’t,” I said honestly.

Jae-yoon’s face darkened. It looked like I bruised her ego.

“You’re so full of it,” Jae-yoon suddenly spat at me. Everyone stopped to stare at us. The air suddenly became tense and awkward.

“Let’s just see how good you are during the physical assessment.”

She walked out of the barracks, bumping into my shoulder on the way out. Soomin followed after her. The rest of the girls came up to me, asking what just happened. I simply shrugged and shook my head.

We all arrived at the field. That is, all six of us. The instructor stood in front of the group.

“You’re late by five seconds.”

“….”

We kept silent.

“Did I or did I not say that you had exactly five minutes?”

“Sorry, ma’am!” we all shouted. But then again, who expected her to be this anal about five seconds?

“Fine. Now, we will start your physical assessment. First, we’ll do push-ups. Then, sit-ups. Then, pull-ups. Lastly, you will do a 1600m run. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“I can’t hear you! I said do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

That seemed to satisfy the instructor as she nodded.

“I asked this before, but do any of you have a physical ailment or disability? Raise your hand.”

No one did.

“Then everyone can do it, right? No one said that they have a disability. I don’t want to see you any of you coming back and passing out on me. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am!” we all shouted.

I looked over at Heejin. 42kg and super-skinny Heejin. I was wondering if she’d be able to keep up during the meter run. I wanted to run with her, but I had to show Jae-yoon. I felt conflicted. Should I try to keep pace with Heejin or put in my show to leave Jae-yoon in the dust? While I was having my inner debate, the instructor spoke up.

“Now let’s start with the push-ups. Three will come out to start and the other three will count for them.”

At those words, three went down into push-up positions while three more knelt in front of them and placed a fist on the ground. The push up will only count if one’s chest went all the way down and hit the fist. I was on the ground, holding out my fist. My partner was Heejin. Soon, her chest will hit my fist. Come on…!

Gulp.

I swallowed back my saliva. A dirty thought was coming into my head, but I quickly shoved it aside. Sadly, it kept coming back…

‘You’ve got to be kidding me…’

The thought of Heejin’s chest touching my fist was doing strange things to my brain. I had to stop it.

‘Sian, stop it…you need to stop…she’s only a baby…’

I began to recite my sutra to banish the dirty, disgusting thoughts out of my mind. Soon, Heejin was in position, ready to do her push ups.