Dirty Grovel: Chapter 11

It feels like the beginning of one of those cabana boy romances.

The heroine, feeling bleak and slightly bloated, puts on a swimsuit and heads down to the pool for a much-needed swim, only to find that it’s occupied.

The intruder?

Six foot something of absolute, jaw-dropping male perfection.

His freestyle technique is absolutely flawless. He doesn’t displace even a drop of water as he slices through the pool like a shark, his muscles rippling with strength as they propel him forward.

When he finally stops, his skin is glistening under the sunlight, drops of diamonds glittering in his hair.

I can see his abs through the water, beckoning me forward for a closer look.

I’m very close to drooling all over the nude crochet bikini I’ve chosen to wear today.

It veers closer to scandalous than I would usually choose. Under normal circumstances, I would have stayed far away from it.

But since I know just how riled up Oleg gets when he sees me in bikinis constantly, I decide to fan the flames a bit.

What I didn’t expect was to find him in the pool, turning all my resolve into putty at the very sight of him.

He stops swimming and twists around at the far end of the pool. His eyes land on me and I freeze, caught in the crosshairs of that golden gaze.

Busted.

I snap my gaping jaw closed and cross my arms, pretending as though I wasn’t just caught ogling him like he’s a piece of meat.

“I can come back later.”

“Why?” he asks, his eyes skimming up and down my body. “The pool’s big enough for the both of us.”

Clearing my throat, I walk around to the head of the pool and dive in. My technique isn’t nearly as smooth or as skilled as Oleg’s, but I’d like to think I’m a half-decent swimmer.

I throw myself into a passable freestyle, and after a few minutes, I realize that Oleg is swimming right alongside me.

It’s companionable enough to be encouraging.

When my chest is heaving from the workout, I pop out of the pool.

I’m very aware that Oleg is watching and that I’m giving him a nice view of my ass.

I twist around, ready to grab a towel and cover myself up when I realize I never got one.

“It’s okay,” Oleg says, reading my expression. “I’ll get you a towel.”

He pulls himself out of the pool and I have to concentrate as hard as I possibly can to keep my jaw from dropping yet again.

The man is the epitome of masculine beauty. Even the scars hugging the right side of his face just make the perfection stand out that much more.

I wait by the pool until Oleg returns with my towel. He tosses it to me instead of handing it over, like he doesn’t want to venture too close.

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” he says, before jumping right back into the pool.

But he doesn’t start swimming like I expect him to.

He leans against the side, both arms draped up on either side as he faces me.

I wonder if it’s possible for us to have a normal conversation anymore.

Or is our every interaction going to be marred by the undercurrent of uncertainty and mistrust?

I’m just about to test that theory when Oleg’s phone starts vibrating against the glass-topped side table next to one of the pool chairs.

He hoists himself out of the pool the same way I did earlier—his ass is also easy to admire—and goes to retrieve it.

I have no idea what the call is about. He talks in rapid-fire Russian and when he’s done, he grabs his own towel and hangs it around the back of his neck.

“I have to head out for a bit,” he says. “I’ll see you later.”

“Oh. Okay.”

I’m actually a little disappointed.

For a moment there, it felt like we could find some sense of familiarity between us again.

“I’m going to go to the doctor’s today,” I blurt at his back.

He stops short and glances back over his shoulder. “Yes, I heard. You’ll be taking the paternity test, I assume?”

Disappointment curls in my stomach. Along with a good side of anger.

“As you ordered.”

Oleg’s eyes go cold. “Good. Because your week’s almost up.”

He strides away and I’m left standing there, watching him go, wondering where the Oleg I first got to know is.

He must be in there somewhere…

Just not for me.

“How was it?” Jesse asks the moment I rock up to the playground where she and Teo are waiting for me.

“It was… surreal,” I mumble, thinking about the moment when I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

It was so loud.

So bold.

Sitting there alone in the doctor’s office, it hit me for the first time.

I’m having a baby.

“I felt the same way when the doctor confirmed my pregnancy,” Jesse says. “Like my whole life was about to change, but in a good way.”

“You weren’t scared?”

She laughs. “I was terrified. But I was happy, too. It was the happiest accident of my life.”

I nod, looking over to Teo, who’s made friends with an older man and his pet labrador.

I am happy about the baby.

It’s just that there are so many question marks, too.

Oleg may not be sure, but I know who the father of this child is.

Which means I know what the paternity test will reveal.

And once he has confirmation, that’s me, trapped for life, bound to a fate that I’m not sure I want now that Oleg and I don’t have our fake marriage to fall back on.

Because the truth is, fake or not, it was something that linked us to one another. Something that put us on the same team.

But now, it feels like we’re miles apart.

I’m not sure I can spend my entire life watching Oleg move on with his.

“Hey.” Jesse nudges my arm. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. Just a little overwhelmed.”

She smiles sympathetically at me. “How about we go to the shopping mall? You can spend some of Oleg’s money? I never met a problem a little retail therapy couldn’t fix.”

I have no interest in shopping, but maybe a distraction is exactly what I need.

“How about we go get some ice cream instead?” I suggest. “I’ve never met a problem that ice cream can’t fix.”

Jesse shakes her head. “You are a breath of fresh air.”

A stroll down one of the streets in the strip is exactly what I need to lighten my mood.

That and Teo’s ice-cream-smeared face. Chocolate, of course, so it looks like he shoved his face in a mud pie.

“For God’s sake, Teo!” Jesse laughs. “We’ve got to get you cleaned up.”

I gesture back towards one of the public restrooms we just passed. “I’ll wait for you guys here.”

With an exasperated smile, Jesse herds Teo towards the restrooms, while I twist around and enjoy the bustle of the crowded Nassau streets.

It’s hard to feel depressed with the sun shining down on my face and a belly full of ice cream.

Maybe I can find a way to salvage this situation.

Maybe I won’t have the kind of love stories that poets write about—but at least my child will have every opportunity in life.

Maybe Oleg and I will never be madly in love with each other—but at least we can find a way to be cordial.

There’s hope, I tell myself. There’s hope yet.

Almost as if the universe is trying to reinforce my positivity, a ray of sunshine falls just across the street, highlighting the tall, muscular silhouette of a very familiar man.

“Oleg,” I whisper.

I wave, but he doesn’t see me.

He’s looking down at his phone. When he finally puts it away, he looks down the street as though he’s waiting for someone.

The sound of our child’s heartbeat is still fresh in my ears. My pride doesn’t seem as insurmountable as it did before I left for the doctor’s.

In fact, it seems like a small thing.

Easily put aside.

Happily overlooked.

I’m about to cross the street, tap on Oleg’s shoulder, and tell him that I’d taken the paternity test just like he wanted me to—when a smile spreads across his face.

But it’s not aimed at me.

It’s for the benefit of the tall, leggy blonde strutting down the street towards him.

Some small part of me shrivels up on the inside. My throat dries; my eyes tear up. The light seems to dwindle.

All I can see is Oleg and the woman he’s been waiting for.

It’s like they’re walking in slow motion towards each other.

The blonde stops in front of Oleg and they share a kiss. Not on the lips, but it’s so close that it hardly makes a difference.

He says something to her and she laughs—a light, airy sound that makes me even more self-conscious.

Apart from the fact that we’re both blonde, I share nothing in common with this woman. From her obvious zero percent body fat, skinny legs, and expert makeup, she looks like she’s walked right off the runway and right into Oleg’s arms.

Whereas me…?

I look like I’ve walked right out of a trailer park and right into a situation that’s way over my head.

Oleg puts his hand on the small of her back and they disappear into a café to the right.

I stand there, long after they’ve disappeared, wondering where I fit into this.

Or if I fit in at all.