Just Pretending: Chapter 21

I watched Devin sleep. He was so peaceful, all the intensity that he displayed was gone from his face. He was almost a different man. I could believe that the Devin I gazed at would wake and be the one I had needed in my life, fiercely protective, loving, present. I accepted that he wouldn’t be, though. Devin would always have that inner beast. As long as his beast let him meet me halfway. I just needed him to stay.

It’s not that I wanted a different man, I wanted Devin. I wanted all of his fierceness and jealousy. I needed him to love me the way he had last night. He made me feel desired and wanted.

I reached out and traced my fingers in the air above his skin. Not touching him, I trailed over his strong, regal nose, the way his cheekbones curved up and merged into his brow.

As I traced the air over his shapely mouth he grabbed my hand and bit my finger.

“Hey, you’re asleep,” I protested.

“I can’t sleep with you waving your hand in my face,” he said. His lips curved into a smile. He kept his eyes closed and didn’t move, leaving me with his profile.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

He opened his eyes and turned to face me. “Disturb me, Harleigh, touch me.” He still had a hold of my hand, he guided it down until my hand spread out on his chest. He moved my hand over his pecs. When he let go, I continued to run my hand over his chest and shoulders.

“Will you stay with me today?” I asked.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying.”

“You’re staying?” I couldn’t keep the doubt from my voice.

Devin rolled so his entire body was facing mine. He reached out and stroked my hair, my face, my arm. His lips pressed to mine, and he pressed me back into the mattress. I smiled as I looked up at him above me. I hooked a leg over his hip. This was exactly where I wanted to be, where I wanted Devin.

He reached over to the bedside table, and pulled open the drawer, removing a condom.

“We’ll be late for breakfast,” I teased.

“Then we’ll be late,” he said.

When he kissed me, I forgot all about breakfast. When he touched me and made love to me, I forgot about everything. I didn’t think I could ever grow tired of the way he made me feel with his mouth on my skin, his hips pressed to mine.

After he made me sing out his name, I lay draped across the bed, unable to move. My legs were useless.

“Are you going to get out of bed?” Devin laughed.

“I can’t move,” I purred. It was the most glorious feeling, to be loved until I was limp, to have lightning bursts of orgasm leftovers ricochet through my body.

“Come, let’s get you cleaned up.” He took my hands and guided me from the bed.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he pulled me into the shower with him.

“I need a shower, and so do you.” He turned on the water.

I squealed as cold water rained down on my back. I squirmed closer in his embrace, he was warm.

“Hold still, girl.” The arm he had around me tightened so he could lean forward and adjust the temperature without me getting in the way.

I relaxed as the water warmed. Sensations I didn’t have words for overwhelmed me as Devin washed my body. I had his hands on me, slippery with soap. Somehow his touch was both soothing and invigorating. My muscles wanted to melt under the hot water, and the massage quality pressure of his fingers. But I also had heightened senses, wanting him to flick a nipple, or run his hands over my sex.

“Close your eyes,” he directed as he tipped my head back under the water.

His hands worked shampoo through my hair, and our naked bodies, slick with water pressed together. If this is what life would be like with him living here, I was all for it.

He kissed me under the water. At first, I panicked with my head underwater, and then I realized I could breathe, and panic was replaced with lustful desire. I moaned with disappointment when he broke the kiss.

“Make yourself useful,” he smirked, putting the soap in my hands.

I loved touching him, my hands slipped over his body. I hadn’t explored and touched this much of him yet. He was all firm muscles and hard angles. His cock pulsed and grew before my eyes. I handed the soap out to him.

“What? You aren’t going to finish me?” he asked.

My jaw dropped and my eyes went wide.

With a chuckle, he took my hand and placed it at the base of his erection. “I’m dirty, you need to thoroughly clean this.”

“You want me to, ah. Okay.” I took a deep breath.

“Harleigh, I want you to touch me. It’s not anything you need to be embarrassed by.”

I dropped my head to rest against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

With a finger under my chin, he tipped my head up. His lips were soft against mine. “Nothing to be sorry about. You were saving certain activities for when you got married. You hadn’t thought you would be saddled with a marriage of convenience. So you never had a chance to explore the purely physical aspects of being with a man. Think of this as catching up.”

Nervous, I would somehow mess everything up, so I washed him. His balls were a soft contrast to his erection. He moaned, and he braced against the tiles.

“Do not stop,” he commanded through heavy breathing.

I didn’t stop until he reached his release.

Wrapped in towels I perched on the edge of the bed, watching him dry off.

“What are we going to do today?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I didn’t have any plans. I just want to be with you.”

“Shopping?”

I shook my head. Shopping wasn’t all that fun. “Could we go to a park, walk around?”

Devin made an exaggerated shudder. “Talk? Get to know each other? That sounds intimidating.”

Half dressed, he braced his hands against the bed, on either side of me. He smiled at me and then gave me a quick kiss. “Sounds like a good afternoon. We do have a lot to discuss. Go get dressed before I change my mind and keep you in this bed all day.”

“That’s not a terrible idea either,” I sighed.

The weather was cooling down, but Devin put the top down on his car. I held my hands up in the wind as he drove.

“I love this car,” I said.

“So, it’s not me, it’s my car you’re after.” Devin made sure I saw his fake pout.

He parked, and I watched the sky disappear as the top whirred back up. “You can only blame yourself for having such a wonderful car.”

He opened my door and held his hand out to me. I didn’t let go of it as we strolled. Trees were turning gold and orange, but the sky was a clear blue with only a few cotton ball clouds. The weather was perfect. Everything was perfect.

We walked in silence. I leaned my head against his arm. I didn’t want this moment to end.

“Oh look there are swings,” I said. I pulled Devin in the direction of the playground.

“Harleigh,” he sounded annoyed.

I wiggled into a swing. “Push me,” I said

I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was shaking his head. “You’re too old for swings.”

“Never,” I laughed as I began to swing my legs.

“Fine,” he relented. “I haven’t done this in a long time.”

Devin knew how to push. He pulled back on the chains and gave me a firm send-off with his hands on my hips.

“Think of it as practice for when you have kids,” I said.

“You think I’m ever having children?”

My gut bunched. His question reminded me that we weren’t actually a couple with long-term goals. Even after last night. “Of course I think you might have children someday. Don’t you want any?”

“Harleigh,” he said as he grabbed the chains and stopped the swing.

The nerves in my stomach flipped as he looked me in the eyes. “Yeah, I could see having children at some point. I guess it’s not something I thought about.”

My cheeks hurt from my smile. I wanted to ask him if he thought that maybe someday could be with me. Could we try to be married? I opened my mouth to say something, “Can we get ice cream?” the wrong words fell out, again.

He held out his hand as if to say lead the way. I dragged him over to the ice cream truck that was driving through the park. All they had was soft serve. Devin sneered at the prospect.

“More for me,” I said, and ordered a large.

“Tell me about my father. You knew a completely different man than I did.”

Devin sighed. “You could say that.”

“Did he really like weird taxidermy? Why didn’t he buy any? What other things do you know about him? All I ever knew was he didn’t trust who I was. I mean, I don’t remember the way things were before the divorce. I only remember my mom bringing me to the house and telling him he had to take me for his scheduled visits. Sometimes she would shove paperwork at him and tell him I was his. I wish I knew the man who didn’t collect taxidermy but wanted to. Instead, I got repeated DNA tests.”

“You didn’t get to see him the way I saw him.” He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. “The old man had some vision of what he wanted to achieve. I don’t know exactly what it was, he never shared. But he had this idea, and everything he did was focused on that goal. He could be very charming and persuasive. And he took care of the people around him who helped him along the way.”

I scoffed. “My father was mean and manipulative. He did give without expecting some kind of payback.”

I licked the cool ice cream and we were both silent for a while.

“He never bothered to make sure I knew how to run the house. I’ve learned so many things in the past few months from Jessie and other members of the staff,” I said. “I had to ask so many questions before they realized I wasn’t like my father, or any of his wives, and I welcome them talking to me about situations. I guess they were used to managing everything and not telling my father anything. If he was cold, he would say he’s cold and expect someone else to fix the thermostat. If I’m cold I want to know how to adjust the heat on my own.”

“That’s the difference between someone learning how to conquer the world, and someone who has already reached the top. Speaking of learning, Harleigh, you need to make sure you understand how the accounting for the household funds works.”

“Why? You manage those.”

“Are you going to want me to handle your finances after the divorce? We both know you’re fiercely independent. You need to know what’s what.”

I stopped walking and let my ice cream drop from my hand. “You still want to get a divorce? What about last night?”

His smile didn’t look like a happy one. “Last night was great and all, but we’re sticking to the original agreement. One year and a day. I’m not going to completely abandon you. I’ll help out where I can, but you won’t want me around.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You’re right.” I sneered. “I don’t want you around.”