Just Pretending: Chapter 31

Two weeks later

I skipped down the stairs. I hadn’t felt this good in a few days. The highs on my good days seemed higher than ever, while my lows were still overwhelmed with depression and morning nausea. It was as if the baby knew my schedule. I experienced morning sickness with less frequency, especially on the days I taught yoga. It was a bonus, wearing comfortable clothes, seeing people who made me smile. And no more sudden need to throw up.

I almost considered asking if I could take on my classes, just to keep the queasy start to my day to a minimum. It didn’t seem like that much time had passed. But in these early weeks of pregnancy, everything changed quickly. I still didn’t look pregnant. No baby bump. My natural abundance already leaned heavily toward being curvy, I probably wouldn’t see much change in my shape for a few more weeks.

But I felt pregnant. There was a certain fullness, almost pressure. It made wearing some clothes uncomfortable. But since I practically lived in my yoga wear, I wasn’t terribly bothered by any of it.

“You are chipper this morning,” Hannah said.

“I couldn’t tell you the last time I felt this good,” I said as I picked up the few pieces of mail next to the cup of hot decaf waiting for me.

“Are you hungry today?”

I pushed away the coffee. I appreciated that Hannah had switched to decaf for me, but the smell wasn’t sitting right. I didn’t want to risk my good mood or my improved health.

“Could I have some juice?” I asked. “I am famished. Can I get a full breakfast? Eggs, roasted potatoes, bacon.” I started to open the few pieces of mail addressed to me.

“You are hungry. Isn’t today a yoga day? Should you have such a heavy meal before class?”

“Huh?” I asked, distracted by the card I looked at. “You’re right, maybe just one egg and some bacon. Did Jessie mention anything about this to you?”

I held up the card for Hannah. She crossed the kitchen and took the card with a photo of an elephant on the front.

“Dear Harleigh Scythe,” Hannah read out loud. She gave me a questioning glance.

I shrugged, Scythe wasn’t my last name, never had been. It was my mom’s name and I had been considering using it after the divorce. I certainly wasn’t going to keep Hopper, and reverting to Roberts wasn’t particularly appealing.

“On behalf of Eloise, Suki, Laslo, and the rest of the herd we would like to thank you for your generous donation,” she stopped reading. “That’s a big donation Harleigh. It says they can bring in another elephant.”

She looked as shocked as I felt. “I didn’t do that.” I pointed at the card.

“Do you think…” she trailed off.

I nodded. Just when I thought I was getting over that bastard, he went and did something thoughtful. Of course, we should have donated sooner, but neither of us really had access to that level of funding until our year was up.

“I should call him and say thank you.”

“You should go see him in person. You have a lot more to say than just thank you, you know.”

She was right. This deserved a personal visit.

“Invite him out to lunch. Lunch is non-threatening,” Hannah suggested.

“That sounds like a good idea.”

And it was a good idea, a great one even. All through my yoga class, I plotted. As I held poses I practiced what I would say. ‘The donation to the elephants was such a sweet gesture. Daddy is probably rolling in his grave.’ This would be when Devin would remind me we had him cremated. ‘I’m sure he had no intention of giving them anything. So it’s both sweet, and a bit of an FU after everything he put us through. I approve.’ We would talk about random elephant trivia we both knew. I would navigate the conversation to how long elephants stayed pregnant.

Then I would say something pithy, like ‘I’m really glad I don’t have to be pregnant for that long.”

And because Devin is smart, he would figure it out. And because I’m a hopeless romantic, I pictured him wrapping his arms around me and confessing that he desperately wants to make our marriage work.

I knew that last part was a fantasy. Devin was never desperate for anything. But it was my imagination and my hope. I chose to not think that he would be angry with me and blame me for trying to trap him into staying in a loveless marriage.

After class, I changed into clean yoga pants and my trusty cardigan. I continued to practice what I would say, how I would react when I saw him on the ride over to the company. It felt weird asking for him at the front desk. Of all the times I had been to the company offices, I never had to stop at the front desk before.

The receptionist called up to his office and then sent me through. I knew the way.

Tanya, Devin’s assistant, was waiting for me.

“Harleigh, nice to see you again.”

I smiled and told her it was nice to see her too. And that’s when my plotting and plans didn’t come to fruition.

“I’m sorry you came all this way to see him, but he isn’t in the office. He’s been traveling a lot lately. I don’t think he’s here more than one or two days a week at most.”

“I want… need to speak with him. Could you give him a message to call me?”

“Of course I can. But if you are planning on asking him about the new household accounts, your lawyer, Mr. McGrady, has all of that information. Nothing is going to change with how everyone gets paid. Jessie is already familiar with our system. If she has any questions she can always call me.”

“Payroll, right,” I nodded. I had no idea what Tanya was talking about, but I wasn’t about to let her know. “Well, if Devin isn’t here, then there isn’t any reason for me to be here either. It was good to see you again.”

I left trying to figure out what Tanya meant by all of that. Back in the car, I called Mr. McGrady’s office.

“Harleigh, what has you calling today? We still have not received the documents for review from Mr. Hopper if you are calling about the divorce papers.”

“No, it’s not that. I went to see Devin—”

“You really should allow us to communicate for you,” he cut me off. “That wasn’t the best idea,”

I agreed, it wasn’t the best idea, but I wasn’t about to have my lawyer tell my husband that I was pregnant. Soon to be divorced or not, Devin needed to hear it from my mouth.

“He wasn’t there. His assistant said something that has me confused. She mentioned something about new accounts, and then she said something about Jessie calling into the company system? Do you know what that’s all about?”

His sigh told me he did know what was happening. He told me about establishing funds to ensure the smooth management of the household and retaining the employment of the staff with the company. I didn’t understand why I hadn’t been part of any of those conversations. It was my house, my staff.

Devin was treating me like some kind of child. Not even giving me the benefit of the doubt that I might actually know something about running the house. I knew it took more money than I had directly inherited, and I wasn’t necessarily against the company providing some assistance. I did object to being left out of the decision-making process.

I don’t think I said anything when I ended the call with Mr. McGrady. I was done listening to him, so I hung up. My good day had gone downhill fast. I managed to hold my composure together until the driver arrived to drop me off at home.

I went straight to the kitchen.

“You’re back early. How did the lunch go?” When Hannah turned to look at me, she put the glass she was washing down and gathered me into a hug.

“I didn’t get a chance to see him. I just talked to the lawyer. They all think I’m dumb. No one thinks I can do any of this on my own. I’m pretty sure Devin thinks I’m a complete idiot. Did you know you don’t work for me?”

“What are you talking about Harleigh? Of course, I work for you,” she said.

“No, you work for Devin’s company.”

“Your father’s company,” she said. “We are paid by your father’s company. But we work here, for you.”

“It’s Devin’s company now. My lawyer agreed in the division of assets that the house staff will continue to be employed by the company.”

“I’m confused,” Hannah said.

“So am I. How can I have a staff to run this place, when everyone is employed by the company? I don’t get it. And no one will explain anything. Mr. McGrady talks like I’m supposed to already know what he’s in the process of telling me. Devin hasn’t said one word to me in over a month.”

I looked at Hannah as if she would have the magic answer. I didn’t try to stop the tears once the crying started.

“I’m not dumb,” I blubbered. “I’m uneducated. I don’t have a degree or know anything about finance. That doesn’t mean everyone has to talk around me. They could explain what they were doing, but no, they just went ahead and did it.”

“Maybe Devin thinks he’s taking care of you. Making it so you don’t have to worry about it.” Hannah shrugged.

If Devin thought this was what taking care of me looked like, he was more like my father than I realized. Daddy did what Daddy wanted because he always knew what was best. Even when he didn’t.