Just Pretending: Chapter 34

I don’t think I slept at all that night. Sanderson’s words echoed through my head. Harleigh was pregnant. I didn’t know how to process the shock and surprise of becoming a father. At some point in the wee hours, my lack of rest turned to delirium. I broke things in my anger. Harleigh was pregnant. Who was the father? That treacherous little bitch. I passed out like some kind of pitiful drunk after that.

When I woke in the morning I felt like a fool, glad that no one had witnessed my stupidity. Harleigh had been a virgin when we got married. She didn’t have a cheating bone in her body. I was the father. I ran the numbers, she had to be close to three months at this point.

“Good lord,” had she known she was pregnant when I walked out on her? What kind of an asshole was I? I walked out on a pregnant woman because I didn’t want to deal with the emotions I was having for her.

Harleigh deserved my apology. She would get me on my knees. I was well aware that I had fucked up. I threw the divorce papers into my case and headed to the house. I wanted to let her tear them up if she would have me. I stopped at a florist on my way to the house.

“Oh, those are beautiful,” Hannah said when I carried the flowers into the kitchen. “Devin, we haven’t seen you in ages.”

I set the arm full of bouquets down on the counter.

“Is Harleigh home? I need some vases.”

“She hasn’t been home for a few days. Has she had a chance to talk to you?” Hannah asked as she began pulling the mylar wraps from the bouquets.

I shook my head. “She hasn’t talked to me. I, uh, understand there is some news I need to hear.”

“All these flowers, I think you’ve heard.” Hannah smiled and headed toward the butler’s pantry. “Who spilled the beans?”

“Sanderson. I’m surprised she told him.”

Hannah returned with three vases and began filling them with water. “She didn’t tell him. He figured it out and asked me.”

“You could tell him, but not me?”

“I was sworn to secrecy. Harleigh very much wanted to be the one to tell you.”

I let out a heavy breath. “If she’s not here, where is she?”

“I don’t know. She went to yoga one day, and hasn’t returned.”

“And this doesn’t bother you?” I asked.

Hannah stopped and looked at me. “When you lived here, how often did you tell me, or Rebecca, or Jessie, or anyone else on staff when you weren’t going to be here?”

She paused long enough for me to nod in agreement.

“I work for her. I’m her friend when it’s needed, but I’m not her keeper. She’s been talking about going on some yoga retreat. I figure she finally did that.”

Hannah rinsed the stems and placed the flowers into the vases. I wanted to fill the house with roses to show Harleigh how much she meant to me.

“I think I want this one on the table in the entry so they are the first flowers she sees when she gets home.”

“That’s a lovely gesture,” Hannah said.

I carried the vase and flowers and displayed them so that there was no way Harleigh could miss them. Hopefully, she would be home sooner than later. I would replace those flowers every day until she got back.

I wandered upstairs. There had been no changes to my old room. I had expected Harleigh to redecorate the bathroom and move her belongings into the large bedroom. It was empty of everything except the mattress leaning against the wall. The bathroom was clean, but not used.

I took a look at the walk-in closet/dressing room. It was more than big enough for a crib and a changing station. It could be an infant nursery until the baby was old enough to be in their own room. Harleigh really should move into this room. The house was hers now, she needed to take it and make it hers.

I walked down the hall to her bedroom. This was where she lived. Her scent was in here. I closed my eyes at the sudden tightening in my chest. I didn’t realize how much I missed that soft floral scent of hers.

I poked through the items on her dresser. A few items of makeup, a photo of her mother. Harleigh really did look like Britney, only without all the flash and glam. I found the ring box I had presented her with at our wedding. The band was simple and gold, and less than fitting for someone of her status.

Harleigh had never said anything, she wouldn’t. But I was embarrassed that I had let my wife go out for a year with such a plain band. How much of an asshole had I been to her?

A car pulling up the drive brought me out of my nesting daydreams. I practically ran down the front stairs ready to grovel before my wife. My chest tightened with anticipation. The door opened, and my heart skipped a beat.

“Oh, aren’t these pretty,” Jessie said as she came in. She noticed I was waiting on the stairs. “Devin, how have you been? Are these for Harleigh? So beautiful.”

All I could do was nod. Where was Harleigh? Why wasn’t she back yet?

I pulled out my phone. I called her for the first time in weeks. “Harleigh, I need you to tell me where you are.”

I paced through the house. Walking from one room to the other. I pretended to be interested in the new security system in the art room, tripping the alarm several times as I poked my fingers in where they did not belong. The Picasso now had a proximity sensor. I couldn’t touch it without setting off sirens, much to Jessie’s annoyance.

“Stop playing with the security system,” she scolded. “I have to call in a false alarm and have everything reset every time you do that. Go home, Devin. I will personally call you when Harleigh comes back.”

Defeated, I drove back to my apartment and started drinking. At some point, I lost my shit again. Why had I kept this place? I should have gone all-in with Harleigh, let myself have feelings for her. Give our fake marriage a chance at being a real one. I threw the first thing I could find against the opposite wall. The crash and shatter were cathartic. I allowed my anger and grief to swell and merge. I kicked, I threw, I upended. I destroyed and I yelled, losing myself to primordial emotions.

I didn’t come down from the rage-high even after there was a pounding at my door.

“What?” I yelled, yanking the door open.

One of the building security men stood on the other side of the door. “We’ve had a noise complaint.”

“Fuck you.” I tried to close the door, but a large steel-toed boot stopped me.

“Mr. Hopper it’s one-thirty in the morning”— he glanced over my shoulder— “you can destroy your belongings but you need to do so quietly. This is a warning.”

“And then what?” I demanded. “You going to have me kicked out of the building?”

“We will call the police and have you removed.”

“Fuck it. I’m leaving anyway.” I surged past the man. He let me go.

I drove back to the house, uncertain of where else to go. Everything was dark and quiet. Too quiet. I sat up in the kitchen waiting for Harleigh to come home. When I woke up, I had an evil twinge in my neck and Hannah was in the kitchen with a steaming pot of coffee.

“I don’t think you being here will make her come home any faster,” Hannah said.

I groaned.

“She won’t want to be away too long. The baby is keeping her tired, she’ll be back soon. And she’ll see exactly how much you care. The flowers smell so good, and with her heightened sense of smell, it will be heaven for her,” Hannah said.

“Who else knew before me? Hell, am I even the father?” I asked.

“Devin Hopper, if I was bigger than you, so help me, I’d wash your mouth out with soap. How dare you? That little girl is so in love with you she thought her morning sickness was from missing you because you hadn’t been around. You spent entirely too much time around the old man. He did something to your brain to make you think such nonsense.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Harleigh doesn’t love me. She’s not fighting anything in the divorce.”

“More blasphemy from you. She’s not fighting the divorce because she doesn’t think that’s an option. She loves you so much she isn’t aware of anyone else when you are around. You are her everything. I’m surprised you didn’t realise that.”

I grunted.

“It’s clear as glass that you two are mad about each other. I don’t understand why everything has turned into such a big misunderstanding.”

“Why didn’t she tell me she was pregnant earlier? Why did she hide it?”

Hannah shook her head. “She didn’t know she was pregnant. And then she tried, but she wasn’t allowed to speak to you. You blocked her number.”

“No, I didn’t.” I had my phone out and was scrolling through the blocked numbers. There it was. I huffed out a breath. I’d have to have a chat with my assistant. She was the one who managed my contacts list via a web portal.

“Damn it.”

“Instead of waiting around here, have you gone down to the yoga studio to see if they know where she is?”

I was on my feet, feeling stupid for not having thought that myself. “Hannah, you are brilliant, and deserve a raise.”

I kissed her on the cheek and ran outside and jumped back in my car. I called my assistant.

“I’m technically not at work yet,” she said.

“I know, I know, I need a trace on Harleigh’s phone.”

“She’s not supposed to call you,” Tanya said.

“She can’t. You blocked her. We’ll have words regarding that later. Is the phone on a company account? Otherwise—”

“She’s the old man’s daughter, of course, it’s on the company account,” Tanya sounded snippy. “I’ll have IT call you back in a minute.”

Less than a minute later I had a location texted to my phone. I pulled into the lot in front of the yoga studio. Seth walked out of the studio and waved to me.

I stalked him to his car.

“Hey, Mr. Hop—” the words gurgled out as I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him back against his car.

“I’ve tracked Harleigh’s phone here. Where is my wife?” I snarled.